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General Category => General Talk => Topic started by: Kaworu on April 05, 2011, 08:25:41 pm

Title: Ask a Transformer
Post by: Kaworu on April 05, 2011, 08:25:41 pm
Greetings Earth people, after discussion in a previous thread, I thought I might need to clear up a few questions, and just so you get a full understanding about what it is like being a Transformer. I have been a Transformer for aproximately four and a half million years, I am a Decepticon currently serving in Galvatron's army. I am what is known as a 'Sweep', Galvatron's elite hunter-killer squadren, though we have to be careful, as in his fits of mania, he is as likely to shoot us in the face as he is the Autoscum lol!

Last week, I was given a mission to hunt down the traitor known as Octane, but the crazy fool was rabbiting on about seeing the ghost of Starscream. I think he'd taken some magic energon, you know what they always say, you should never trust a Jamaicacon!

So yes, if you have any questions you have ever wanted to ask a Transformer, then please ask.
Title: Ask a Transformer
Post by: Carrion Crow on April 05, 2011, 08:32:33 pm
How do you reproduce?
Title: Ask a Transformer
Post by: Guana on April 05, 2011, 08:37:23 pm
Is the movie "Transformers" by Michael Bay any good?
Title: Ask a Transformer
Post by: big ass skelly on April 05, 2011, 09:09:56 pm
What's that transformer called who just turns into a massive handgun?
Title: Ask a Transformer
Post by: DDay on April 05, 2011, 09:31:22 pm
is there a dild
What's that transformer called who just turns into a massive handgun?

Screw you I want to know if there is one that can turn into a massive dildo.
Title: Ask a Transformer
Post by: tuxedo marx on April 05, 2011, 09:37:40 pm
What's that transformer called who just turns into a massive handgun?
MEGATRON
Title: Ask a Transformer
Post by: tuxedo marx on April 05, 2011, 10:15:14 pm
what was it like working with lou reed
Title: Ask a Transformer
Post by: Ellie on April 05, 2011, 10:38:18 pm
Do you only transform for attention? I mean most cars would be fine and dandy being a car. I think most transformers are just becoming mechazoids for the spotlight.
Title: Ask a Transformer
Post by: Ryan on April 05, 2011, 10:43:23 pm
Can u hook me up with Megan Fox?
Title: Ask a Transformer
Post by: Barack Obama on April 05, 2011, 11:13:58 pm
i can transform ya
Title: Ask a Transformer
Post by: big ass skelly on April 05, 2011, 11:30:08 pm
Megantron Fox
Title: Ask a Transformer
Post by: Ellie on April 06, 2011, 12:00:44 am
are you DC in or DC out
Title: Ask a Transformer
Post by: DDay on April 06, 2011, 12:09:21 am
are you DC in or DC out

You mean dose he require a female power cord or male power cord.  God I hope he's not one of those omni-plug users.
Title: Ask a Transformer
Post by: dada on April 06, 2011, 07:03:53 am
Have you ever transformed to your robot form while someone was still inside you in your car form?
Title: Ask a Transformer
Post by: tuxedo marx on April 06, 2011, 08:36:15 am
oh no !! my passengers !!
Title: Ask a Transformer
Post by: Malad on April 06, 2011, 01:36:43 pm
You mean dose he require a female power cord or male power cord.  God I hope he's not one of those omni-plug users.

More like which end of the USB cable is he.

"Excuse me, would you like to share data with me?"

lol
Title: Ask a Transformer
Post by: Kaworu on April 09, 2011, 09:26:43 am
How do you reproduce?
we build our own

Is the movie "Transformers" by Michael Bay any good?
No.

What's that transformer called who just turns into a massive handgun?
Megatron, Galvatron's former self.

is there a dild
Screw you I want to know if there is one that can turn into a massive dildo.
No, but once upon a time, a wretched fleshling created a Kitbash known as 'Jane', whose alt mode is a vibrating amusement device for female fleshies.

What took you so long to make this parody topic? I'd expected it days ago.
I was getting my power chip rectifier replaced, and so was offline

what was it like working with lou reed
he is quite acceptable... for a fleshie
Can u hook me up with Megan Fox?
various companies sell these products known as 'dutch wives', perhaps you could purchase one of those, as they look very much like Megan Fox, allthough they have more of a personality than her.

are you DC in or DC out
We Cybertronians do not use such a basic understanding of electricity. We are powered by the consumption of refined Energon.
Are you that transformer that had sex with Panty in episode 7?
Sexual intercourse with fleshlings is morally wrong.
Title: Ask a Transformer
Post by: Kaworu on April 09, 2011, 09:27:20 am
Have you ever transformed to your robot form while someone was still inside you in your car form?
I do not possess a car altmode. Like my fellow sweeps, I transform into a stealth fighter.
Title: Ask a Transformer
Post by: Carrion Crow on April 10, 2011, 12:04:27 am
Why do you take on the form of human designs?
Title: Ask a Transformer
Post by: hero_bash on April 10, 2011, 06:07:44 am
what do you do whey you're sad?
Title: Ask a Transformer
Post by: Kaworu on April 10, 2011, 07:26:15 am
Why do you take on the form of human designs?
We are robots in disguise, we take on human designs so that we can disguise ourselves whilst on your pityful little mudball.
what do you do whey you're sad?
some of the more circuitry challenged of my Decepticon bretheren write poetry, but the standard practice is to just blast a few of you stubbies until we cheer up. Though Dreadwing, Darkwind and Dead-end are always sad, and nothing cheers those creeps up.
Title: Ask a Transformer
Post by: hero_bash on April 10, 2011, 07:39:09 am
what tips can you give on dating a Transformer?
Title: Ask a Transformer
Post by: Kaworu on April 10, 2011, 10:50:35 am
make sure you have a steady supply of energon nibles, take your time and be careful. Most of us have a distast for fleshy scum. However the Autubutt known as Powerglide has been known to date stubbie females, which is sickening. Infact all the autobots do it, which is why they must be eradicated!!
(https://legacy.gamingw.net/etc/tfwiki.net/w2/images2/7/74/KP001.jpeg)
(https://legacy.gamingw.net/etc/tfwiki.net/w2/images2/7/7c/KP002.jpeg)
(https://legacy.gamingw.net/etc/tfwiki.net/w2/images2/6/68/AutrooperAtari.jpeg)
here is a caption about the AUtobot's perverse habits
Quote
(Optimus Prime deriving pleasure from Marissa rubbing the rim of his gas tank) to grotesque examples blatantly evocative of rape (a shrunken Autorooper forces its way into Atari's mouth and makes her swallow it, followed by her begging it not to "move too roughly inside" her).

Our recon expert, Laserbeak, discovered these shocking images of robotxhuman love. We are currently trying to blackmail Optimus Prime, if he refuses to hand over the Matrix of Leadership to it's rightful owner (Galvatron the magnificent) then we will release these images publicly.
(https://legacy.gamingw.net/etc/tfwiki.net/w2/images2/8/8e/Marissa_and_prime_in_childhood.jpeg)
(http://tfwiki.net/wiki/Image:KP001.jpg)
Title: Ask a Transformer
Post by: hero_bash on April 10, 2011, 01:00:04 pm
i see so you disprove of interracial relationships.

is pregnancy possible between humans and transormers? did it happen already and how was the offspring?
Title: Ask a Transformer
Post by: Kaworu on April 10, 2011, 03:35:12 pm
interspecies is different from interracial. dumb stubbie.
I disapprove of all human relationships, they should be exterminated like the useless bags of flesh they are.

of course pregnancy is not possible.
Title: Ask a Transformer
Post by: hero_bash on April 10, 2011, 05:05:52 pm
my bad. still I don't think being a specist is good.
Title: Ask a Transformer
Post by: crone_lover720 on April 10, 2011, 10:31:36 pm
so why are all your forms, both transformed and nontransformed, based upon the human body and human transportation/military machines? isn't this true even on cybertron, before the transformers (supposedly) ever made it to earth? is it because all your transformer "history" is actually a myth programed into your artificial intelligence by the human scientists who designed you?
Title: Ask a Transformer
Post by: Biggles on April 11, 2011, 01:07:21 pm
do transformers have minds? can you identify your own inner mental (neural?) states with experiences?

do transformers have culture?

Title: Ask a Transformer
Post by: Carrion Crow on April 11, 2011, 01:53:49 pm
If you have a lossless core and a turns ratio of 1:3 what is the voltage across the output if the input has a voltage of 445.666 V?
Title: Ask a Transformer
Post by: hero_bash on April 11, 2011, 02:45:40 pm
does transformers has some kind of evolution where certain mechanisms might change to adapt in the changing conditions?
Title: Ask a Transformer
Post by: Kaworu on April 11, 2011, 07:21:01 pm
do transformers have minds? can you identify your own inner mental (neural?) states with experiences?

do transformers have culture?



We are sentient beings, we have minds. Some, foolish, cybertronians follow the ideas of Emirite Xaaron, that we are creations of the god known as 'Primus', but personally I believe otherwise. Our 'souls' or 'spirits' are known as sparks. Every Transformer has a Spark.

We have a vast and wealthy cultural heritage. We Decepticons ourselves were forged from the hardships of gladatorial combat. We  have our religious myths (the god Primus fighting Unicron, the Chaos Bringer). The Autobot's city state of Iacon is a glistening metropolis. Shame it is filled with scum. The high point of Cybertronian architecture is our ability to create spires, many kilometres high, and visible from space. AMong our celebrities are the robots Nekomimi A and Nekomimi B:
(http://tfwiki.net/wiki/Nekomimi_A_and_Nekomimi_B)

If you have a lossless core and a turns ratio of 1:3 what is the voltage across the output if the input has a voltage of 445.666 V?

Pfft, that is a question more suited to Soundwave

does transformers has some kind of evolution where certain mechanisms might change to adapt in the changing conditions?
that question seems to show an underlying misunderstanding of the concept of 'evolution' that applies to biological creatures.
Title: Ask a Transformer
Post by: Mince Wobley on April 11, 2011, 07:41:28 pm
Do you think free trade can be an end all to the world's problems
Title: Ask a Transformer
Post by: DDay on April 12, 2011, 12:37:25 am
If a ship is full of seamen then what would you be full of?
Title: Ask a Transformer
Post by: Farren on April 12, 2011, 12:46:51 am
dicks
Title: Ask a Transformer
Post by: Kaworu on April 12, 2011, 08:08:51 am
Do you think free trade can be an end all to the world's problems
No, only comp-lete eradication of you fleshy vermin, and it's eventually destruction due to extensive energon mining will solve all of this pitiful planet's problems
Title: Ask a Transformer
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