Gaming World Forums
Creativity => Game Design & Demos => Topic started by: Ice Baby1 on December 11, 2012, 05:12:54 am
-
"You are in a maze of twisty little Charlie Browns, all alike."
i have made a game in twine it is called MASTABA SNOOPY.
(official game adaptation of roasted peanuts (http://peanutsroasted.blogspot.com))
here you go here it is play it if you 've got the time:
https://dl.dropbox.com/s/3p6uthbmkusf2ja/MASTABA%20SNOOPY.html (https://dl.dropbox.com/s/3p6uthbmkusf2ja/MASTABA%20SNOOPY.html)
it is OKAY if you want to be honest and tell me what is WRONG with it, I want to LEARN and become a better person. THANK YOU, just for clicking on this thread!! have a wonderful day!!!
edit:
HERE'S A SCREENSHOT AS PER THREAD RULE
(http://i.usatoday.net/communitymanager/_photos/pop-candy/2012/07/16/alfx-large.jpg)
-
UPDATED!! to streamline/beclaritize/dynamificate text & story + added more scenes. might still be too clunky/overworked? CRITICISM WELCOME! enjoy THE GRIM FUTURE of THE MODERN WORLD...
nes & snes sprites (http://www.nes-snes-sprites.com/)
https://dl.dropbox.com/s/3p6uthbmkusf2ja/MASTABA%20SNOOPY.html (https://dl.dropbox.com/s/3p6uthbmkusf2ja/MASTABA%20SNOOPY.html)
Sci-Fi Survival Game
-
This is really outstanding, definitely the best twine game I've played. Everyone should play this, if only to come to terms with what the collective existence of humanity will invariably amount to when we've passed our expiration date. Woodsnoopy 799 is the best character I have encountered in a work of non-fiction this year.
Upsetting that I am the first person to post here about this game. This forum sucks.
Oh wait, you asked for constructive criticism, so here goes: This is a beautiful game and this forum should be ashamed for letting a week pass without giving you a pat on the back for it. I hope this bit of constructive criticism is helpful.
Seriously, I really love this and have no advice for you apart from keep being you.
-
basically this is proof of why we need a site that properly highlights stuff like this b/c otherwise nobody sees it
i'm gonna play this later b/c this sounds rad as frig
-
Hundley totally constructive criticized the crap out of all of us.
(yeah I agree with vell, a mainsite or some kind of showcase to remind folks not all of us have abandoned the dream of gaming/creative arts)
The only reason I haven't played it yet, is because I don't normally play text adventures, and have just been looking for a good excuse to get into games made with twine.
I guess I have just found that excuse. Kudos, and thank you for giving me that.
-
This was really good. It made me feel nauseous in a good way. Normally I'd avoid text adventures because they hinge so much on the writing ability of who made it, but I will surely read anything you make from now on, gods17. I'd advise everyone needs to read this.
-
i've only read the first few screens because Time but i like this one more than the other, even, although they're totally different beasts. the tone/setting/characters so far reminds me of Lion Man, which i am also only partway through (see above), plus duh __topian sci-fi
will get back to you when i finish/if there's anything more that needs saying
-
We don't need a site, we just need a widget that's conspicuous on the forum index. You could put "Noteworthy posts: ... ... ..." in the header in 10 mins.
Can I play this on my phone? If so I might... take it to bed... with me *EL JAMES FACE*
-
holy damn, thanks a ton, everyone! sorry it took so long to get back to this topic! these are amazing compliments and i'm glad to have eased the passing of anyone's day even marginally.
i turned this story in to my creative writing teacher (an alt. version sans Risque passages) and she liked it.
This is a beautiful game and this forum should be ashamed for letting a week pass without giving you a pat on the back for it. I hope this bit of constructive criticism is helpful.
Seriously, I really love this and have no advice for you apart from keep being you.
thank you! it is incredibly inspiring for someone with a custom title of Writer to appreciate my barfworld fiction!
Can I play this on my phone? If so I might... take it to bed... with me *EL JAMES FACE*
due to Peanuts lacking portrayals of sexual attraction, all Sunless Dominion sexuality is an expression of mutation and decay.
it represents healthy love in the same way that a corpse burping up rotgas represents oratory. i'd recommend not to take pleasure in it.
still
you gotta do what feels right
the tone/setting/characters so far reminds me of Lion Man, which i am also only partway through (see above), plus duh __topian sci-fi
It made me feel nauseous in a good way.
these are both exactly what i was going for! thank you!
-
Great Job gods17 ! ! !
Construct criticisms will come in a day. Takes time after seeing really good thing to see ways it could be improved.
-
I sent a PM with advice because it was kind of borderline in most cases whether it was my taste or actual OBJECTIVE QUALITY issues. Don't need to bother everyone with picking of nits. This is a sign that you Done Good.
-
I'll admit that I tend to avoid twine games, but this is proving (i am stil playing) that I am a slimy bigot in my ways. Hilarious and imaginative and real god damn freaky.
I want to make games with you
-
Wow, just got a couple of endings. I really really enjoyed it, the imagery was absolutely fascinating and the whole world felt like such an incredibly surreal place.
However, after the peppermint patty ending (i skipped back to the other route) I felt it became completely disconnected and unengaging. I think it would benefit from ending there, as you can gain somewhat of a satisfying ending there, rather than suddenly being torn from your immersion as entirely random events start happening.
As I said, though, I seriously enjoyed this. The world was absolutely incredible, I don't I've seen or read a more interesting place. Amazing work.
-
Schulz saw it coming.
(http://dl.dropbox.com/u/7095523/IMG_4185.PNG)
-
jmickle: by "after the peppermint patty ending", do you mean the scenes in and beyond the field of christmas trees? i understand what you mean by disconnection/disjointedness. choosing to empathize with linus 99911 will doom you to being buffeted around aimlessly. i think of it this way: even though there are many choices after linus, they're all really part of one long ending, one where you get eaten alive by the world and dissolve into nothing. zambonis fall like rain. zambonis fall like meteors. so in a way, it does end there!
those are some very high compliments! i'm glad to hear you liked it!
Schulz saw it coming.
ahahaha, i haven't seen this one before...
-
This is an awesome game.
-
http://www.freeindiegam.es/2013/01/mastaba-snoopy-gods17/
you hit the big time now gods17!! and deservedly so
make more gam'es
-
The head of the NYU Game Center emailed me last night: "So, who is Gods17, any clue? Just some guy?"
Gods17, please confirm that you are just some guy.
-
Who is John Gods17
-
Who is John Gods17
My brain keeps looking for a "Like" button. The end can't come soon enough.
-
I played it, i can't really comment it (i think i played it thru a stupor of some kind?? lotsa things in a haze). i liked it but no suggestions for improvements whatsoever. im dirt.
-
i'm so glad that so many people like this game !! got mentioned on free indie games !! also some blogs, like boingboing and io9. my mind is completely blown !! thanks again for high compliments !!! however, this game seems to completely blow to me more and more with every passing day, so i must now condemn it to trash heap and never think about it again.
[my ][/my]
The head of the NYU Game Center emailed me last night: "So, who is Gods17, any clue? Just some guy?"
Gods17, please confirm that you are just some guy.
just some wackjob polyp on ocean floor, typin on a tourists laptop that fell in t water . . .
just some incognito established game developer . . . they call me ' Derek Yu ' by daylight . . .
just some rookie on th' Tumor Patrol, writin what i see on th' mean streets of Artery City . . .
choose which reality you trust the most? please choose, for yourself/
-
Hello, I have a question about this game. I snooped around in the page source and noticed this line in the CSS:
background: #fff url(blossoms.jpg) no-repeat bottom right;
blossoms.jpg is missing (it isn't available in the same directory as the HTML) so I was wondering what's the deal with that, and do I need it to enjoy the Premium Mastaba Snoopy Experience.
-
i got the css from some free templates site. blossoms is just a possible footer image that i didn't distribute with it
edit: there may be Secret(s) hidden within the fleshy wads of html
-
this post is a million years old but I wanna say:
1) I think matsaba snoopy has become a classic of the twine genre
2) I think it's really important fiction w/r/t my life because I haven't found anything like it
2a. it's really weird that I can't find anything else by this author, you, since it's so appealing and well-formed
2b. if you have any examples of this kind of fiction (deliberately weird microcosmic culture sci-fi) I'd love to hear it although I doubt there is anything like this.
2c) Actually, now that I think of it, Porpentine has a lot of work like this, even maybe influenced by it. "Girl Detective and the Mystery of The Sap Stained Skirt" is recent and is very in the vein of "Matsaba Snoopy."
3) My criticism: I wish you had made the original game longer with even more convoluted branches. As it is it feels like a lot of twines where it's an original concept taken not too far. That being said I like the "true ending" very much.
4) I made a tabletop rpg based on matsaba snoopy one night when I was drinking. Basically players roll their ability scores competitively, these scores being dice representative of their ties to Snoopy characters. Then they have to pick up all the dice then can, both theirs and their enemy's, to represent mutation in the matsaba. I had a whole monster manual like .txt file with different descriptions of the different Deities/Snoopy Character aspects. I never played it and probably never will!
-
Hey - it feels great to know people are still playing this thing! Let me respond to you on a case-by-case basis:
1 AND 3) I do feel like the drive kind of burned out in the Twine community - or mine did, so I haven't kept up-to-date on what people are doing in it. There was a point where it felt like the next "big thing", since it's so easy for such a good result. A kid could easily knock up something fun in it and get their expressions out. I tried to Twinevangelize to people I knew and schoolteachers and such. I don't really know what happened but there were a ton of games coming out and now there don't seem to be. I guess it just requires an ever more specific mind to be interested in text games?
2) The entire thing is a take-off of one single Porpentine game - Batman is Screaming. It's really, really short, and every word of it is consciousness-launching. It was the key that made me realize that you can treat canons like jelly. I don't know anything else that even approaches what Porpentine did with that game. Even her other games seem to come from a wholly different world. So when I made MS, it was in reflex, because I knew I couldn't just go back and read Batman is Screaming again. I had to try to do what it did but to something else. And at the time I was reading a lot of Peanuts.
I'm really overjoyed you like my shit - I haven't done anything else because I'm a lazy dweeb. For the last couple of weeks I've been focusing much harder than usual to try and create a game for Halloween, to prove to myself that I can actually do it. It's actually really kind of you to express interest in my work just when I'm starting to foment and attempt ideas in a new thing. It's not much like MSnoop because it's an fps set in an original world - but if you like body horror I think you might still enjoy this one. I want to talk about it a lot but my time would be better served actually puttin' my nose to the grindstone and MAKING IT!!!!
You've got it down of course - the length of the game really works against it, since it's supposed to depict a world of jaw-dropping size. I'm also really glad people seem to like the nice ending because I wasn't sure whether it would seem too totally stupid and out-of-place.
4) Aha ha ha I read this part last and was enormously tickled - creating a mythos that gets deemed worthy of rpg systemification is a crucial power marker/milestone for an artist. I don't think you could ask for a higher goal than that. I can't thank you enough for helping me reach it. All in all, I am unimaginably pleased that my game seems to have had an eggshell-cracking effect on your brain, since after that happened to me, that's truly all I've ever wanted to do!
-
Dropbox (which hosts Mastaba Snoopy) has sent out an email to its users saying they're making all Public folders private. Losing Mastaba Snoopy would be like the Library of Alexandria burning down. Could you please reupload it to philome.la and/or Google Drive or something? I'm also posting the game's Wayback Machine link on Metafilter in the meantime.
Edit: Nevermind, the /s/ rather than a /u/ means it uses the Share function. I thought direct file links were only possible via the Public folder, but they can be turned into direct links by changing the domain from dropbox.com to dl.dropbox.com or dl.dropboxusercontent.com.
-
Well... Shucks...! I responded too late!! Does it all work okay? I can still figure out a way to pop it out my folder and onto one of these other sites if it's inaccessible. I am so glad people recall MS fondly. It makes me think of a childhood disease getting you out of school. My progress on game creation is so glacial, I'm too fumble-fingered and unfocused to keep up with my ideas.
By the way, I am gods17. I forgot my old password. I also talked big about an FPS in my last post, but obviously that didn't come to fruition and for that I apologize. I sincerely hope that I can make this thing eventually. But I also want to make a CAG (and write a full response to the CAG thread that got started here for MY fucking honor... Sheezus.... I'm PIG....) and a roguelike...... the last weeks I stayed up writing huge lists of monsters, items, characters and locations - thousands and thousands of them!!! It's so ambitious. I'm ashamed... IndulgenT...
-
Well... Shucks...! I responded too late!! Does it all work okay? I can still figure out a way to pop it out my folder and onto one of these other sites if it's inaccessible. I am so glad people recall MS fondly. It makes me think of a childhood disease getting you out of school. My progress on game creation is so glacial, I'm too fumble-fingered and unfocused to keep up with my ideas.
By the way, I am gods17. I forgot my old password. I also talked big about an FPS in my last post, but obviously that didn't come to fruition and for that I apologize. I sincerely hope that I can make this thing eventually. But I also want to make a CAG (and write a full response to the CAG thread that got started here for MY fucking honor... Sheezus.... I'm PIG....) and a roguelike...... the last weeks I stayed up writing huge lists of monsters, items, characters and locations - thousands and thousands of them!!! It's so ambitious. I'm ashamed... IndulgenT...
Yeah, it's working fine. /s/ is in the URL and not /u/ so it won't be made private. I thought only share-folder (/u/-type) links could be right-click-to-download (and thus also Wayback Machine compatible), as I noted in my edit to my previous post. But uploading to Philome.la would be good too. Sorry for panicking and thinking it was going to be lost.
Also, the guy who originally posted Mastaba Snoopy to Metafilter http://www.metafilter.com/164011/Good-Grief-More-Entropy#6846666]wrote (http://[url=http://www.metafilter.com/164011/Good-Grief-More-Entropy#6846666%5Dwrote) something nice in defense of preserving it.[/url]