I'm incorporating rapping into my repertoire of emotionally overbearing synthpop music.
 
https://soundcloud.com/jamie-slime/snake
 
Lemme know what you think of it. Here are the lyrics for reference:
 
 
i'm taking a break
from making mistakes
the look on my face
is always so fake
i'm know i'm a snake
i don't need to make
any concessions to the impression that the mess i'm in
isn't what i meant to get cos i wanted in
i know i've done a bad thing, i know i'm a prick
believe it was the last thing, i make myself sick
i flash a smile every once in a while hiding the bile
that i'm living in
i'm giving in this isn't worth the shit that i'm swimming in

i must be dense, i'm on the fence
i don't know what i'm up against
the precedent is set again for residence in my own mess
unless i sense that change is for the best
i'm taking bets on my success
so pick a lie and take a guess

and if i make a decision it's a point of derision in my head
i get visions every night when i'm lying in my bed
and my position changes every time i feel the dread
of knowing this'll never leave, it goes everywhere i tread

it's not a voice it's a choice, at least that's what i read
it's just a noise in my mind, so forget what it said
i need an incision, some kind of revison, there's something missing
cos i think i'm conditioned to just get quiet and listen

i feel delirious, i'm taking things too serious
i'm crying then i'm furious and
wish that i was through with this
there's nothing i can do it's just -
the shit i say is unbelieveable
it makes me fucking heave it's inconceivable

it makes the air unbreathable
and saving face just isn't feasible
i'll pick some time when it's acheivable

but even though i feel like in practice i'm not intractable
i just act as though my bullshit is factual
i'm just being practical

also, you don't have to do this:

unbelieveable, inconceivable, unbreathable, feasible etc...

 
yeah i appreciate this, there was more of that in the original lyrics actually but i cut it out cos i realised i was just writing more rhyming words cos i figured i could, but this is actually already cut down and i think they all stay within what the song is about while also being fun voice backflips i can do. i was really pleased when i realised that following up that bit with 'even though' let me slip into the final rhyme scheme. there's all kindsa tricks you can do. it's cool.
 

did you make this one too? This is really really good and prolly my favorite. You gonna do something with it?

 
i dunno if you're talking about the one i liked/commented on (probs) but nah i was just checking out some other beats on soundcloud and i liked that one. the guy messaged me asking if i wanted to rap over it and i think that'd be interesting, since i already have the track and like it.

I like it, but I think the beat at the start is kind of a downer. it's good throughout but kind of a rough start imo. I like the lyricism

the beat or the slow start to the lyrics?

just the little section of the beat before the lyrics start. I don't know anything about music or if it's just me

well you're already better than me so that's something
 
need to stop rhyming obvious words though

for what it's worth the eiveable part is intentional. i appreciate the humour probably doesn't get across though. also i was really happy when i found 'even though' as a way to bridge into the final lines.

Did you ask Kanye's opinion yet? If he approves it, you're on the right path
 
All in all, not bad, bro ;)

 
kanye sent me an email on aol.com and said 'you can be my black kate moss tongight x x'
 
thanks!
 
i'm gonna do more rapping this week i think. i got my mic repaired.

thinking i'lll probably do some more of this now.