ADOM... new graphics... barf...
 
Hi, maybe it’s time for me to make a debut. I’m a Debuty... (DISCLAIMER: i ain't that homobitch twitter account BonziBuddy64 so get that shit out of your head RIGHT NOW... though look at the fucking name it's PERFECT jesus christ... even i couldn't come up with that)
 
Recently, ADOM re-launch with new graphics (rather than ASCII/letter-graphics) through an Indiegogo crowdfunding campaign (https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/resurrect-adom-development) & that it got Greenlit on Steam (http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=258925365 DON'T WATCH THE TRAILER IF YOU WANT TO AVOID SPOILERS). 
 
ADOM is one of the oldest roguelikes out there so this is pr exciting turn of events!! If you haven’t played Roguelikes before (or played only newer ones), I recommend downloading the new free graphic version (called NotEye) of ADOM off it’s website. I also really recommend buying it off from Steam!! If i was one of those Vice-magazine Survivalists i'd put this game into my survivalist-Blackberry, ‘cos this game or ADOM literally lasts you a lifetime and you can't really say that about any other game in the world....
 
The official blog of ADOM: http://www.ancientdomainsofmystery.com/
Download graphic version of ADOM: http://www.ancardia.com/download.html
 
--
 
Anyways, inspired by ADOM's relaunch... Year or two ago I deciced to get into Nethack instead. I never got around to make a topic out of it but now I will... come hell or high water (or boring stories).
 
A little background of ME: I'm a succesful super chill dude with a cool social circle and ripped dreambody... who fucks hot bitches in my left arm and does veteran roguelike runs with my right hand -at the same time- cos im a fucking pro. girls and nerds love me haha... had some great time with fellas in summer in beach hotel, just layin' and talkin' "builds" down with my bros while cute girls are on their knees Praying For More haha. im the 101 hardcoregaming for girls haha. add my roguelike utube channel if you like my posts  qB^) q;^) 
 
I figured it was a high time: i’m an fairly experienced ADOM player, even a veteran. You've never really experienced life until you've finished ADOM once... Anyways 2 BUSINESS!!! I assumed haulin my assss deeeeep into the darkest caves would be alright/easy cos im roguelike pro. I already know lots of insider Nethack stuff from my close circle of friends who had played it (I played ADOM, two played Nethack, can’t remember if Guana played either)
so... I went in cold turkey.
 
Hint: there's two ways to play roguelike:
1. you NEVER EVER try reading the manual or helps from the internet, like i did here. I only asked hints from my friend over phone when desperate...
2. catamites suggested reading just the manual to cut time & marvel at insane detail collected through +10 years of updates to the game... not to diss my bro but I actually suggest n.1 because you are literally not going to find a similar experience from any other media... at least try it out...
 
Remember:
You WILL come to love the process of 1 save/character that gets erased by death.
You WILL have great, mysterious experiences if you get into the game with as much LITTLE information as possible BEFOREHAND, determined to find the secrets by yourself.
You WILL become the greatest alpha alive. Listen 2 some Chris Brown, Pitbull and DJ Mustard utubes to go with ur roguelikes. Just TAKE it easy. Time goes by and Naturally You will find INFINITY.
You WILL steal that amulet of yendor like ya steal that girls number and make that wizard your homo bitch lol. i dont swing that way actually so lol sorry guys. 
 
EDIT: There'll be minimal spoilers in my log, nothing that will massively aid you/spoil your game... and even if there are some, i think some of you appriciate the initial more distant voyerism / minimal time investment until your own interest becomes high enough (if)  + i think the deathlogs/weird event logs capture what really makes roguelikes good. I'm actually pr lazy with the writing/premise of this topic but i needed to get this out of my system so Deal With It. maybe it's the real me... tiger stripes... 

First day, my first characters were Human Tourists. I start with a HAWAII T-SHIRT, a CAMERA that can take pictures, a CREDIT CARD that is not accepted in any dungeon stores... niice *borat voice*... Get Lucky!
They died VERY quickly...
 
Some key initial stories:
* I tried DESPERATELY for many turns (by trying different keys) to speak to a friendly hobbit... and sudendly, my own pony strutted to me and ahahha killed the friendly hobbit in front of my eyes?? aaaaaaaaa
* I died of food poisoning, I also became Hallucinated after eating lizards, this game rules... ZZT looks proud... 
* First turn with new character: [C]limb pony. You slipped from the saddle! You hit your head to the floor! You died!!
* I was a fucking idiot, ran ahead like a bull, and accidentally hit an Floating Eye (more of this craziness up ahead, this is NOTHING...)
 
So after 16 grueling, humbling deaths that really shit me up & cut off the smug edges, I started with a fresh start the next day, still with Human Tourist. I started having a detailed log on characters.
 
The initial T plus the number means Tourist + playthrough number.
 
--
 
T2: aaahaha fuuuck i found excelent equipment this time around with rare stats... until I accidentally put my hands on a Cursed dwarven pick axe. In roguelikes, when you wear cursed items, they get stuck on you permamently... you can't remove them...
Unfortunately, the racist hobbit-dungeon shopkeepers (they can be found by chance within randomized dungeons) don't like dwarven pick-axes and asked me that I take it away when I enter their store- Groaann!!! How am I gonna get food/items now??
What happened next surpassed my wildest expectations/stories of roguelikes though (I mean I've seen a lot in ADOM):
 
* I was attacked by a jackalwere and his jackals in front of the very shop I was desperately trying to get into with my gatdam pickaxe... It was a crazy mayhem...
* ... AAAAAA I-i turned into a Jackalwere myself???? ahaha this isn't reeeeeaallllllll??
* I HOWLED help from my "kin", ahahahaha tons of jackals appreared out of thin air to help me???????
* I PRAYED help from my gods (even my fuckign hitpoints dropped to jackals level - try conquering a game as a DOG with 6 hitpoints!! what a fucking game!!)
* As a result, it became a West Side Furry, an mayhem gangfight between my jackals and the Bad Jackals...it was amazing...
* ...!?! because I turned into a jackal, I dropped the cursed pickaxe from my paws!! A-ROOHOOOO!!!...
* ... but alas!!! out of nowhere, a pack of gigantic red ants attacked me and my HP dropped to subzero in seconds...
* Just A Normal Day In Tourist's Life! :-)
 
T3: Fuck!!! Curses!!! Nothing's more hell than cursed SLIPPERY boots...!! at least I realized not to put on that unidentified cursed amulet of STRANGULATION...!
T4: I died sudendly to a rat?? this unbeliavable reality...
T5: *GROAN* good start but died to a mimic... i'm made of glass...
 
T6: ahahah just when i was doing well:
* I tried to deduct from shopkeeper's pricing whether the rings he sold were valuable.
* I put BOTH on, convinced that they were good rings... wow, such pricing, much value...
* Cursed ring of polymorphism & teleportation
* I turned into a kobold zombie (?!?) and...
* I was teleported RIGHT into the lap of my enemies, my dog disapeared on the way... try to figure THIS one out, bonzi...
* in the end, an hostile HOMOCULUS managed to make me sleep (?!?) and pummeled me to a red pulp in my sleep.
 
T7. ahhaha strong start with money and finding a dungeon shopkeeper buuuut i was blinded by flash trap and killed by Unknown Enemy (whaaat??? why no info???). Turns out I was killed BY AN ARROW which means I walked blind into a trap i knew before, jesus.
Also, as I died, I was promptly told this: You went without food; You were an atheist; You never hit with a wielded weapon; You were illiterate. I can't help but feel wonder at these nonchalant deterministic stated facts about my life. You are this, period. What is going on?
 
T8: I thought I had escaped the wererats just barely when *NOT AGAIIN!* I was attacked by our old pal werejackal...
The rest of the game (suprisingly long game!) I spent my days as a dog! It was cool... I was just eating, shittin, attacking floatin eyes, other werejackas 'n geckos... though my army of jackals did the job well enough on their own so it was pr chill... for some strange reason, whenever I was ALMOST going to die, i turned BACK into my naked human self... whoa talk about luck? Bottom line: telepathic, mystically stat-gaining werejackal tourist.
 
T9: ?!? Frightening game, I barely saw any monsters... spooky... then I died to some invicible whoever that shot me with some wand in Gnome Caves (to which i tried to ran away from monsters into). Killed by a wand (?!? WHO USED THE WAND, WHY AM I NOT BEING TOLD??). You were vegetarian (??).
 
And etc... And many more deaths ensues...

At this point - about 25 deaths on my belt - it was clear that I was a dumb smug fuck and that You Don't Choose Tourist As Your First Build.
It was time for having SOMETHING to show for.
This character was the Muscle himself... the Dwarven... Caveman.
Problem is... It's still hard to play, I took a character that starts with nothing but a CLUB pretty much... idiooot...
 
C9: Ahaha I'm a trained Troglodyte?? Ahaha canned Sechuan kobold, WHAT...?!
* AAA!! To my own suprise, I met my OWN GHOST in the FRIENDLY gnome mines (?! i guess gnomes are okay with dwarves, even naked wild ones)!!
* Gods be praised, I finished the poor soul of my previous character and gained immeasurable items/advantages (my previous build's items)... What a strong start...!
* Too bad that ahhah i got lost, without food... I was attacked by a BLACK UNICORN (what is wrong with this game?? why are such dangerous enemies so early in game??)...
* I deciced to read an unidentified scroll in my desperation re: approaching unicorn...
* ?! turns out it's scroll of GENOCIDE... it asked me to write a creature...?!
* AAAA apparently ALL black unicorns in the game vanished without a trace ahhaha!?! what a fucking game??
* aaa soon after sudendly I walk over sleep trap and 3 wolves ate me in my sleep. Death happens in a second in Nethack (because when you've out of it, you pass turns and enemies move)... Life is so fragile...
That's okay though, i Radically ran out of edible food.
 
C10: I rolled ridicilous Bodily stats, I was the Body itself... then... come again the gnome mines...
* ?!? A band of Uruk Hai suprise attack?? (reaaallly?? there are suprise events like this?!)
* I beat them up, no fucking LOTR shit even REGISTERS in my fuken raadar... im the fuken BODY-
*-oh so i walk into blindess trap and soon surrounded by invicible enemies. They were dogs. I became DOUBLY ripped, the Grim Ripp'd himself... massive toned bones...
 
C11: Yet here comes Another Dreambody, a real sweal killear... I got really far in this game!
* I was attacked by a Cockatrice...
* I didn't know what that weirdo bird can do so I killed it & got weird messages...
* ... until *GULP* i- i turned into STONE??
* ALAS!! Sudendly, my amulet breaks and I returned... Phew!! Miracle!!!! I wish the game made you more PIOUS after surviving deaths etc, just another message at the end of the character as usual... YOU BECAME RELIGIOUS AFTER SURVIVING DEATH/EXPERIENCED NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCE
* The end was miserable as usual: Somehow I ended up on hidden teleport trap that threw me into a room full of dangerous or midtough monsters (am i seeing a pattern here?). I managed to run away but I ran into a direction of KILLER BEES instead of taking my first chance at running the stairs down... "better permanent step to hell than dead" - ancient roguelike veteran secret, RIP
 
C?: I died with good stats on the beginner level giant bat. Hah hah, I guess we all really are IDIOTS down inside, ne? 
C??: Killed by a Killer Bee. Ahahah just as I ran out of food, sudendly... (?!?) a Garter Snake jumps out of my packback and says "Mommy?".
 
C14: Whoa.
* I summoned a gigantic rain of boulders to block the way from Killer Bee onslaight...
* In my self-imposed hunger, mefuckinidiot ate an ZOMBIE DWARF (and i was a dwarf!!!!!!!!!)...
* I read and drank everything in my desperation... nice, potion of sickness...
* In Confusion & Sickness & Poisoned, I stagger around meaninglessly, unable to control my character while my health dropped inevitably...
* I stagger upon a trapdoor, I fell down X levels to my death ahhaha. If i recall right, I might even still took couple of steps down there.
Wow.
 
C15: Nice, nice! I even found a food shop!...
... too bad I died when out of blue, in a spot I thought I had walked over in Gnome Mines...
... I stepped onto a l- L-LANDMINE???
WHAT THE FUUUCKKK NEETHAAAACK???!?!?!?!!?
 
C16: Sigh. Blinded out of blue. In the same go/spot/turn, my surroundings was filled to brim with monsters for no reason. Mentally challenged game?
 
C17: !!! For the first time, I got really far...! I got into That Blue Dungeon - however, I was supposed to summon boulders but I instead summoned high-level'd Gargoyle (fuck you steel wand!!!), plus I also made one mistake and at the time didn't kill That One Weird Leprechaun That All Boulders HATE. I killed a Vault Guard in this game as well, I had no idea what was the consiquence. I can't remember if strange messages were generated.
 
C19: Ahahah easily the weirdest game so far!
* I went into a shop - I had eaten a Leprechaun body, I had let my dog to kill & eat friendly gnomes in Gnome Caves anyways (cannibal-bonzi...)
* Weirdly, way too easy monsters all the way through...
* Well, I teleported out of the shop out of blue.
* *SIREN VOICE* -IMMIDIATELY-, The whole level was FILLED to fucking BRIM by POLICE and GREY UNICORNS ahahhahahahha whaaaaaaat????? Uhhhh...
* I also failed to summon a hole beneath me for escape measures!! and the all-important pick axe is STILL in front of the shop!! Yikes!!
* My only option after long consideration: There's no turning back now, I can't return to levels prior this level anymore. "better permanent step" etc...
* Slaughter my way through the cops (constantly generating messages & throwing pies at my face (??)).I run downstairs with lots of pies & leaving a Scotland Bloody Yard after me...
* Aaaa there's a cockatrice in front of me and Marge isn't responding to phone (this is my second cockatrice so far & Marge agreed to give me hints when im in dire need). Somehow I avoided it...
* In the same level... ?! a TENGU is generated?? :^B (?! looks awesome & what did the creator smoke to create these wack-ass weird creatures? this guy is just ALL OVER PLACE all the time, is hella cool guy. would imagine ragnar/aphex twin making roguelikes)...
* I ate that Tengu's corpse, thus jumpin (teleportin) all over the place myself >:^B
* Ahaha nooooo Just when I was startin to doin swell again: I deciced to kill the cockatrice offspring just in case...
* I shot it with my bow as much as I could from the distance...
* Then i ran out of ammo and ran right next to it and SLAYED that Shit in One Turn yeah fucking SHIT WHOSE THE MAN *spit*.
-BUT...
BUT I WAS WEARING AN EYEBLIND.
Because I was wearing an eyeblind...
my character had to touch everything to tell where or what it is.
So I went over the corpse.
And to tell what item it is, i had to touch the corpse.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
 
C21: GROAN nothing's worse than fainting in a level with a black unicorn when you've eat a wood elf corpse (?! elf corpses makes you sleepy? is this written in lotr or what?). While i've fainted, an army of wood elves appear out of blue and stone me to death/rip me to shreds... only wet splatter remained o' me... again was goin' HELLA strong... life is fragile and death is sudden and quick in nethack...
 
C22:
Whoa, good stats?
Whoa, tons of rations in first level. Nice, looks prom-
?!? More rations?
... A long sword named DEMONBANE?
What the...? In the first level?
...
DON'T DIE BONZI GOD JUST -DON'T DIE-!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
[later ][/later]
 
Oh. I see.
Fine.
I hate this fucking game. what a fucking joke of a game. fuck you nethack FUCK YOUUUUUUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU
 
* I was "pillaging" a shop, I had an immaculate plan... proud with my sword Demonbane...
* Accidentally, I pressed wrong button and i put on a dagger...
* Well, it's cursed.
* I gotta get rid of this shit, I have to figure out something!
* So I had a genious idea, went to a nearby pool and dipped my dagger in there...
* I turned dagger to Very Rusty - my plan was to make it sooo rusty it'll break eventually in use! Snicker snicker.
* Well, I started to fight a measly Imp and I couldn't take it down.
* The imp was constantly generating messages in which it mocked me... while I dumbstruck observe as I'm INCAPABLE of inflicting damage with my dagger...
* I try to flee with low HP but then I got routed... by a... a kitten.
* I read and drank everything I could in desperation...
* Bottom-line: Owner of the artifact "Demonsbane". KILLED BY A KITTEN WHILE HELPLESS.
 
retrospect: it's apparently v rare that artifacts spawn in first level... 
 
C23: ... So onward to new adventures again (aaa). Game starts promising haha, on second level "Your dog, Slasher, feels disoriented...Slasher staggers... Sudendly Slasher disapears out of a sight!" *rolleyes* Nethack... with my dog disapearing down the hole to god knows how many levels, I gotta make it on my own... Later on I found her but she soon got crushed under a boulder trap.
This game ended as I ate werejackal corpse in my hunger. God knows how many times I have to repeat the same idiot mistakes...
 
C24: Whoa two food shops?? S-spinach in a can?? Must have... WHOA ahhah my strenght jumped to ridicilous 18/10?? I'M MUSCLE EMBODIED!!- *groan* i ate something poisonous, now it's only 18/7...shit... You feel wide awake!! (??). *GROAN!!* Dilute sky potion was actually poisonous, whaaat but i was wearing amulet of poison resistance!! now down to 18/6 FUCK THIS SHIT!! Ahaha I met my own ghost again?? I killed him accidentally inside a wall, shit... what a fucking weird game, again...
 
Eventually I would get reaaaally strong again, with cloak on invicibility, loads of food (if you haven't already figured out, they are hard to come by in this game!!), nicely keeping a dangerous enemy inside this one hut in this cave so take a load of this pro!! Great stats, items Ascension-level and...
and 'cos i pressed the wrong button accidently...
I died by overeating a yeti.
Yesssssssssss nethaaaaaack
 
C25: NICE, boots of speed right at the beginning of the game! A shop at second level! TOO BAD a soldier ant inflicted me a poison... i'm on my last leg, my god is angry at me as in my desperation I slaughtered my own dog Slasher for food (none gained)... no food, I can't access shops as the goddamn fucking dwarven pickaxe is welded to my hand (cursed) and Marge isn't responding...
...
...
And somehow, SOMEHOW against all expectations, I survived and this game lasted 4 or 5 hours whoa. I almost passed That Blue Dungeon... I even died once but amulet of life saving saved my ass... I even killed 2 cockatrices and 3 offsprings!! Wow!! I'm growing up!
I finally died again in (again) most bizarre way:
 
* I was rushing down the hallway, pressing Up - keyboard and not really expecting any enemy to come my way (at least nothing that would die by few blows.)
* As I enter the room a new room, I see some monster flash momentarily but I moved too fast to see what it was...
* The screen started flashing in colours rapidly, changing screen 10 times a second, like some kind of disco from hell!!!!
* This graphical ultaviolence/superstimuli lasted for some 3 seconds or so (ahhaha what the fuck is going on?!?)...
* When the screen stops glitching, my character is dead... ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
 
It took me some time to recover from this and grasp/theorize what had happened just now (the message log was COMPLETELY flooded with messages so it was not a straight-forward deduction):
 
* Apparently, what happened was that I had attacked an floating eye by accident in melee (cos i kept pressing Up and also pressing to the direction of enemy while facing them is also attacking in roguelikes).
* Hitting it killed it (so I didn't understand initially what caused this) but also paralyzed me for a long time...
* In the meanwhile, a Vortex/Fog attacked me, thus enveloping me inside it.
* This is a rare situation - I was paralyzed so I could not break away from Vortex, so I was pr much DOOMED to suffocation, haha. I helpessly lay on the ground as my lungs are filling with sand/dense fog...
* Except that I was wearing amulet of artificial breathing!! So the vortex was unable to kill me by suffocating!!
* So I kept LEAVING and ENTERING the vortex RAPIDLY as the vortex again and again tries to suffocate me (thus the rapid switch of screens).
* However, meanwhile a werewolf had entered the room and started rippin' me to shreds whenever I had got out of vortex ahaha.
* Since I was entering the vortex constantly, it tooks some time for the wolfie to work it's way to my bone (vortex insulated me from dungeon), thus the long-ass disco times, haha.
* Bottom-line: Maaaad rezpectz 2 flo-tin' (EYE-SYMBOL)
 
C29: Ahah okay i'm just... too weary from dying to even properly explain.
I was going strong from the get-go (eg. crytal platemail and plate mails laying on the ground right at the first levels), greats stats, food, my trusty Club improved to +4...
again I pressed my luck by wearing unidentified dwarven pick-axe to clear That Blue Dungeon. The cursed weapon stopped me from finishing it, too underpowered... Well, of COURSE I would get stuck as I on top of this get teleport intrisic without teleport control as well.
Eventually in my desperation I deciced to turn Neutral alignment (?! probably to get a new deity and pray for help for either problem).
I prayed in the dwarven town's temple's altar...
Well. Yeah.
The altar turned from lawful alignment to neutral alignment.
And the neutral deity priest present in the temple got SUPER FUCKING ANGRY for that
and killed me in literally two turns.
SELFNOT DONT EAT HOMONCULI IMPS LEPRECHAUN NYMPHS UNLESS YOU -LOVE- THIS ONE TELEPORTING IDIOT WHO ALL SERIOUS PLAYER -HATE- PASSIONATELY also dont eat bugs you fucking idiot.
 
C30: Yeah fucking hell what a game. No food and just as I was going to going to get a plate mail that was laying nicely on the dungeon floor, then of COURSE I would step on a trapdoor and get thrown X levels into the dangerous abyss ffs!! it's like some sunday's cartoon situation...
 
C33: Sigh. Before my death, i ate couple cans of spinach and I had boss stats... then I would fall into a pit trap and non-chalantly, game tells me that I fell into poisonous spikes and died of poison... (really?? seriously???? aasdfsadf usually at least you would just get Poisoned - status and you could go on!)

Okay, okay... inhale, exhale... time for break... 33 more deaths are burdenin' me... time to actually have life... go to gym and get that anger out on the iron...
So I've stopped playing my stubborn dwarven caveman...
then later on... just for curiosity/fun, I deciced to try a ORC BARBARIAN...
And then my jaw drops as the stats are almost as good as on dwarven caveman!!
So I kept playing... and daaamn was it so NICE and EASY to play the game now! Who would have known! Life could be so easy, eaaasy liiviin...
Perhaps listening to Grateful Death & picking chaotic idiot Barbarian Orcs as a character has it's own merits... traditions... black elves or dark americans...
 
B1: I was doing swell, though I picked up a stone that put me into burdened status despite my ridicilous 18/10 strenght, lol... but besides this, I increased my stats with couple of potions of gain attributes, I found a ring of regeneration (wow!) and constitution +1...
but I died to an Ettin Mummy by carelessness, idioot.
AND STOP EATING TENGUS IDIOT BONZI, THEY DON'T GIVE TELEPORTATION!! jesus!! you again almost ruined a game with this!! WHAT'S WITH THE FUCKING TENGU OBSESSION!!
 
B2: I lost a great sum of money to an invicible leprechaun...??? ahahaha I found "David's Treasure Strove"?? this amazing ZZT universe... Whoa, a neutral priest spawned along with an altar in the middle of dungeon? In this game, I deciced to spend affluent amount of money to an autistic, non-explained ORACLE that is always spawned in every game to a certain level... listening to his advice...
This was probably the best game I've had so far but asdfsadfasfs, as I entered a room...
and (aaaa) I spot fucking nethack -GORILLAS-.
if you have the graph version of Nethack, you'll grow to FEAR that gorilla sprite (with cute small ribbons on their foreheads)... they always spawn in a group...
I try to take steps backwards back into the hall from where I came from, but the gorillas open the second door leading into the room (there was two doors leading from the hallway to the room - REALLY curious if gorillas in the wild easily deduct how to open fucking doors!! unless this is some DUNGEON GORILLA so they got NATTY apt to it... sorry im just venting here).
Every taken step just resulted to me getting quickly surrounded by the friggin' apes, they quickly pummeled me to submission... WHEN YOU'RE DYING THEN FFS USE ALL WANDS AND SCROLLS!! IDIOT!! APE!!!
Well... this just means that eventually I'll find one helluva treasure trove from my corpse (3000 gold).
I've left wondering of the numerious mysterious advices the oracle gave me... "They say Wizard of Yendor is schizophrenic and suicidal", ahhaha?? *gulp*. Sudden stark personal relevations of undefined caricatures, let me create some "they say gnome mines have seen several suicides from desperate miners since the plummet of mithril prices". *YOU MUST KILL THE FINAL BOSS...I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT THE FINAL BOSS... F-FINAL BOSS... I THINK I LOVE HIM...*
 
B3: In the first level I hear a mysterious messages "You hear someone counting money". ?! I didn't find anything from first level though, Well nothing suprises me anymore anyways. Strong start.
KABLAAAM!! You triggered a mine! You fall into a pit!! asasfdf IN THE SAME SPOT?? fucking nethack!!!! lucky i didn't die!!
I ate a Hill giant corpse and gained 18/07 str (i like this adolf hitler/jugend reality, drinking ox sperm Gives You Immortality). I also found Canned Sechuan White Unicorn, ahah the chinese know their stuff even in high fantasy...
AHAHHA NO WAY i found my B2's body!! Except he wasn't a ghost this time, HE WAS A MUMMY!! haha. i'm riiiiiich-
nooooooooo agsagsah i DIED so i lost ALL those items, bonzi fuckign pray more, i mean why do you keep forgetting this elementary stuff!?
Sigh, damn, SIGH, shit this game is a cruel lover, so much pain... maybe i should really get a life?
 
B4: whoa 8 rations from first level but *dundundun* 3/4 gorillas appear out of thin air and pummeled me to death in seconds...
I have to mention that I've had 2 times where I've had a promising start in the game, when my pet dies almost IMMEDIATELY by falling into a trap or lever or likewise. Nethack...
 
B5: AHAHHAHA WHAT A GAME! ahahaha
* Whoa, a scroll of genocide in first level?
* Let's use it! "What monster do you want to extinct?" ;-) Ahh... Let's see?...
* I wrote "Cockatrice". ^_~¤ *TING*
* The game generates a message that "Sent In Some Cockatrices" & and spans 6 cockatrices around me, ahhhaha. ^_o''
 
B6: ahhahhah i accidentally kicked in a dungeon shop's door, the shopkeeper got mad and killed me in seconds... life is fragile...
 
B7: I'm just doin my thing, struttin around with my pet cat when
AAAAAAAAA O___O WHY HAS MY PET CAT TURNED INTO A YELLOW DRAGON??
oh, well I died in the same level so we may never get to kno-
AAHAHHA WAIT A MINUTE ahhaha this means that if this corpse is generated in some game... . . .
then iii haave to fiight a yellow dragon aas weellll ahahahahaha nooooooo
 
--
 
Finally, I would be consistently hitting off a strong start. I won't bore you with the boring details etc but eg 12000 gold.. grunt... Eventually get bored and start an Elf Cleric character, trying to always respawn Cure Light Wounds to them before starting to play.
 
And as a result, I have a level of Gnomish Mines where there are ~10 to 20 dead ghosts and several angry pet bats terrorizing the level and I am unable to continue the game past that level due to hellish difficulty of my OWN ANGRY GHOSTS and my Wild pets. So I've literally made the game impossible for me due to my stupid actions... This is Nethack.
 
I hope this inspired you to get into Nethack or ADOM. both rule ok... I've barely even SCRATCHED all the weird cool shit that is in the game, you barely learned any remarkable spoilers from this stuff.
 
and now, writing this from my hotel room, I'm off to the mediterrain beach as a Human Tourist tomorrow... keep it real bros.

a strikingly transparent, lucid, tangible, mathematical system leads to a bewildering, hapless, murkily hazardous life. you are ostensibly given all the tools for success but find them nearly useless in the mist. bongy_buddy mimics the nature of the roguelike with his portrayal of two themed caricatures. clicking post on this one seems impossible! welcome to the broguelike brocade.

Yeah no stress pals! it's a-okay idea of reading the wiki, it's just a different experience. 
 
I'm just bringing up the actual experiencing part of the roguelikes - that the important part of roguelikes are the STORIES and weird events/chances and ridicilous survival maneuvers... and this just happens again and again ad infinitum because the dungeons are COMPLETELY random generated. this is really hard to pull out in other game types/graphics, you understand! 
 
okay, you say "voxels" and minecraft... but think of this: another important part of roguelikes is the ASCII graphs... since everything IS just letters then it's all up to your imagination... and it works hella good (works in a same way you read a book & imagine stuff). you feel TERRIFIED seeing a green "f", aaaaaa, sudendly all plans screech to halt... you [l]ook at monster, read the description, horrifiedly imagine how it looks like... INSANE respect at Gelatinous Cubes, Xvarts, Taslois, Molochs, Horrible Dorn Beast (?! David's treasure trove...), Steel Horrors, Revenants, Quicklings, Magebane Eyes, Doomsayers, Dubi-dus!, etc...
 


eg. in ADOM... a little spoiler but... young kid Bonzi nervously stalls and hesitates, looking at "orange potion" in his inventory... finally, DARES... GULP!... drink orange potion...!!! ... what? "Yum! Tastes like carrot juice"... what did this do?? Wait, so is this just carrot juice?? ??!? yet you can't help but leave mystified whether it had mysterious effect you cannot grasp... but DUNDUNDUN the thing is, some of the dungeon rooms generate mysterious messages and one of the messages are "This room smells like carrots". So! if you are smart/attentive... 1 + 1 ... if you drink carrot juice in that room, you get MASSIVE bonus to Perception (carrot, good for eyes... get it?)!! This is the stuff of dreams... the game is LITTERED with stuff like this... Ancient Domains of MYSTERY, what an apt name...

It doesn't help that at character creation, kid bonzi looks bewildered at possible classes: there's tons of them and they are named "BEASTFIGHTER", "FARMER", "MINDCRAFTER", "WEAPONSMITH"... more mystery and wonder... is this legit, does these classes actually work?? and yes they do... mysterious abilities and strenghts/weaknessess... possible races: grey elves, drakelings, ratlings, trolls, orcs... in Batmud, you could play as vampires and moomins as well... barf...

re: awful starts in game, goddess...i like it more when the actual game system (like earl articulated) just naturally leads to non-buffered/not starter-friendly beginning game... 
 
but i did like the intentional bad start in one game... when i was a teenager, i tried to get into Dungeon Master: Chaos Strikes Back for PC Windows... was expecting a nice start, instead the beginning room is legendary among nerds... so much for D&D for bonzi... it basically starts (after u meticulously create your new party) by throwing you into a pitch-black room with no torches or light source whatsoever, while VERY quickly something(s!) starts eating up ur party in a hurry... almost every direction has pit-traps that damage u & prevent u to move in that direction... all your items are on the ground so u have to pick everything in a REAL fucking jiffy so that your party just doesn't DIE in the first room... EXPECT THAT THE ITEMS HAVE NO WEAPONS... etc... and this all happens in real time, u gotta be hella quick...
to figure out how to survive in the first room is a real head-ache/could be impossible for kiddos... jesus... wouldn't want to be That Kid who got that game as a christmas present in his youth... 

I just realized something . . .

...
 
ZZT probably comes from . . .

ZZ Top . . .

haaack . . .
snort . . .

A Link's Spiritual Awakening . . .

Ahhaha. +1. ZzZ looks proud.
 
Okay so since I'm on a wanton posting spree, i'm going to buff a little of new Adom here. I actually bought the game...
 
yes, you heard me, i BOUGHT. A. GAME. *icy silence fills the room for several seconds as bonzi uses this stupid old comedy trick, bonzi is completely oblivious* in. cre. dib. le. curiosity killed the cat.
so... you know me, fuckers. if i see a hipster or something self-conscious etc, i fucking strangle em to their cute little bowties. so with that ridicilous bar set up sky high, i set out to nervously test my favourite game.. you know the deal.
 
...
and uh, I really really liked the results, which is pretty mindblowing all in all?
 
i expected the characters enemies etc art be too cutesy and giving game too much slowdown, but the action and speed is pretty much the same as original ASCII graphs in my laptop, and thank god the enemies actually look miniature bloodthirsty animals/monstrosities rather than vague cute chibi representation of enemies. i like the descriptions of those old weirdo monsters, not really ruining any childhood "image" of them either with some half-assed creativity.
 
there's not much music but it's pr good, i perversely like the normal dungeon music which captures some of that amiga/specifc strain of 90's classical music-influenced repetitiviness.
 
?!?!? ITS ALL IN GOOD TASTE?!? i-impossible... afaik they are fixing the age-old and new bugs, create new content to game, make it better all the time etc so really... what the fuck... i think you guys should give the new version a shot. It's avaible from Steam (currently). I think what is coming in the near future is super-simplification of game commands, so that should make the whole ordeal of learning roguelike so much better.
 
(A confession: i believe 100% heartfelt and powerfully that games like these should have this cream-and-ink pergament graphics, like all is just hand-drawn outlines like in comic style etc ... and yes indeed, all graphs should be those 80's 90's RPG manual conan-the-barbarian styled high fantasy art... but i guess that is simply "too much asked"... one can only dream... LUST...)