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General Category => General Talk => Topic started by: Terrorantula on June 03, 2011, 05:37:58 pm

Title: I need some advice
Post by: Terrorantula on June 03, 2011, 05:37:58 pm
OK guys I need some help here. An old acquaintance has invited me to a party to see some people I used to know. However, I really have no interest in either going to the party or reconnecting with these people and I'd like to make it clear without hurting their feelings.  How do I tell them they're ancient history without offending them or the host? Do you think I'm making a mistake by cutting the ties?

Does "Thank you but I'm not interested.
I wish the best for all of you.
Goodbye and good luck" work?
Title: I need some advice
Post by: big ass skelly on June 03, 2011, 05:41:48 pm
You don't have to tell them you don't want to see them, just make an excuse for this time and maybe next time and they'll stop trying.

Source: alienated a lot of friends
Title: I need some advice
Post by: hero_bash on June 03, 2011, 05:52:13 pm
you should go..one day in your deathbed you'll remember one of these moments when you wish you could've done those 'new' things to experience a different environment or something shitfuck.
Title: I need some advice
Post by: jamie on June 03, 2011, 05:58:06 pm
say sure i'll see you there and then just don't go and avoid going online or checking your e-mail for a few days until you feel like you can swallow the guilt. come up with an elaborate excuse which doesn't even really make sense that will put you both in an awkward position and prolong the conversation so you both end up feeling like weaker people who aren't really sure why they're in this position all of a sudden. there are all sorts of things you shouldn't do.

why are you so disinterested in seeing them again? are they a bunch of Dopers?

i'd just say i had other plans and maybe some other time if i didn't want to.
Title: I need some advice
Post by: EvilDemonCreature on June 03, 2011, 06:38:40 pm
Just do what I do in those situations and just do it anyway. Usually if you are genuinely not interested in those people, you'll only have to talk to them for a little while early on before they just get distracted talking to each other and forget you are even there.

At that point I usually find a nice corner and pull out my favorite handheld console and shut everything else out while sitting idle as if I still enjoy being there.
Title: I need some advice
Post by: Terrorantula on June 03, 2011, 07:24:16 pm
I think I'll probably do what Jamie suggested.MAybe I won't cut ties but I don't feel like going.
Title: I need some advice
Post by: crone_lover720 on June 03, 2011, 07:33:48 pm
"nah, no thanks. thanks for offering tho"
Title: I need some advice
Post by: crone_lover720 on June 03, 2011, 07:34:17 pm
don't respond
Title: I need some advice
Post by: Terrorantula on June 03, 2011, 07:37:46 pm
I politely declined the invitation and left it at that.
Title: I need some advice
Post by: Faust on June 03, 2011, 08:51:33 pm
I love that your first thought was "SORRY BUT I'M NOT INTERESTED!"

Hehe, I would be so offended, but I guess bluntness can be a secret weapon sometimes in getting you out of socialisation!
Title: I need some advice
Post by: Terrorantula on June 03, 2011, 10:07:57 pm
IDOlike to socialize. I just wasn't interested about this instance. moment. so  ended up saying thanks, but not interasted right now, maybe another time."
Title: I need some advice
Post by: crone_lover720 on June 03, 2011, 10:54:49 pm
so you offended AND confused them
Title: I need some advice
Post by: Farren on June 04, 2011, 07:47:41 am
tell them you don't have any time for their bullshit and when they say what bullshit say all of it and storm off
Title: I need some advice
Post by: hero_bash on June 04, 2011, 08:14:59 am
you'll die alone :(
Title: I need some advice
Post by: noise on June 04, 2011, 11:24:21 am
"i have work."


it's the perfect excuse for situations like this. you can get off without having to hint at not wanting to go.

saying something like "I wish the best for all of you. Goodbye and good luck" would probably give the impression of "heh im better than you fuckerz" and while that's likely TRUE it's not something you'd want to say.

and hell, if it's something that they're putting together over like facebook or w/e then you can probably just be like "sorry dude cant make it" and they wont really PRESS YOU FOR THE DEETS. they probably just picked your name from a dropdown list along with everyone else.
Title: I need some advice
Post by: Farren on June 04, 2011, 12:25:35 pm
you'll die alone :(

not the who or where but the how. Thats the only question I got. preferably not by fire or some terminal degredating illness (cancer).
Title: I need some advice
Post by: hero_bash on June 04, 2011, 03:53:57 pm
the best way is to die in a blaze of glory.
Title: I need some advice
Post by: Faust on June 04, 2011, 09:21:02 pm
Quote
you'll die alone

Elderly people seem to now anyway. Like you aren't allowed in while your relative is DYING, only while they're stable and shit. As a rule you wait in another room.

This is why I plan to die in a fistfight in public or something, so that when I die there'll be lots of people around.
Title: I need some advice
Post by: Malad on June 04, 2011, 11:48:06 pm
Elderly people seem to now anyway. Like you aren't allowed in while your relative is DYING, only while they're stable and shit. As a rule you wait in another room.

This is why I plan to die in a fistfight in public or something, so that when I die there'll be lots of people around.


Damn this thread took a (seemingly) really morbid and serious turn.
Title: I need some advice
Post by: Faust on June 04, 2011, 11:58:03 pm
Yeah, I have no idea why I posted that really.

OH NO MY SECRET FEARS
Title: I need some advice
Post by: noise on June 05, 2011, 01:29:48 am
This is why I plan to die in a fistfight in public or something, so that when I die there'll be lots of people around.


idk that might even be more lonely, to be surrounded by people who aren't dying.


i remember one scene in Six Feet Under where Brenda's talking about death and she talks about how we're alone throughout our entire lives, and as we accumulate experiences we become more and more individuals and thus we become even more alone, and we can never really share our MINDS, and then we die, and we're totally alone when we die too.


so imo dying alone isn't really a problem and it's not something i'm afraid of. i think that what's more worth thinking about is what will be going through your mind when you die—in those last moments will you THINK that you're dying alone or will you realize that "hey my life was pretty good". it's all about you and your own thoughts rather than how or who you are with when you die
Title: I need some advice
Post by: Farren on June 05, 2011, 03:41:02 am
nuclear blast so quick I don't know whats happening and I don't have to think about shit.

because my mind is a steel trap of bullshit I don't want to deal with while I'm dying.
 
 
or being really really high. I thought that od'ing wouldn't be that bad at some point. Like rather than die from alzheimer's disease or someshit just shoot up alot of morphine. I don't want my fuckin heart to explode though.