Gaming World Forums
General Category => General Talk => Topic started by: Sarah on October 21, 2007, 04:25:03 am
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HEY BEAR WITH THE BEGINNING OF THIS BECAUSE THERE IS MORE BETTER STUFF DOWN (medieve thinks storytime is not a good way to start a post :()
Let me tell you all a little story...
It was a dark and stormy night in September. A boy and his lady friend sat in his car, talking. The boy hoped this night would never end, for in the morning, she would return to her school in a city far away. At about 1:30 AM they decided it was time to go inside. They stepped into the large, dark house. The girls mother was away for the weekend, so they had it all to themselves. They began to kiss and moved upstairs to the bedroom...
Not going any farther than that, sorry. But let me tell you, these two kids. They're in love. And they used protection. JUST SO YOU KNOW.
Well, around a month later, the girl came home to visit again, telling the boy she had something she needed to tell him. She referred to it as a 'big surprise.' He was pretty excited, not just for the big surprise, but to see her again.
She arrived early in the day, but the boy had to work. So they made arrangements to go to a concert later that evening. When they met up, he held her hand and they entered together. They propped themselves against a wall and the show began. Youngsters were moshing and throwing down, while the older people attempted to enjoy the music. This couple, however, was not impressed. The boy looked at his girlfriend, "Man, this band is terrible."
She smiled and squeezed his hand, "Yeah... and I'm pregnant."
So basically what I am saying is... Drule was right in the 'what's on your mind' thread. I didn't want to say anything to anyone for a while still, but I'm pretty excited and... yeah!
We sat down yesterday and discussed this and decided that we want to keep the baby. I'm financially stable (and her mom is rich) and we're both pretty good human beings (don't judge me by my posts on here, they hardly represent what I am truly like.) She's in school but I'm planning ways to get around that, and do everything possible to allow her to continue on her life as normally as possible.
This morning we told her mom, and a few of our friends. I assume everyone I know will know by Wednesday. And... so with a little push from Mamamack (who has been counseling me on this (along with steel, chef, bort and panda (thanks guys I really appreciate it))), I decided I should let you all know too.
Mostly I am bragging but I am also looking for input on things I should take into consideration that I may not have already. Panda and Mamamack both really got me thinking alot but I am sure there are other things I'm missing.
So yeah #1 Dad or what???
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Awesome news man! Good luck with everything!
I just have to ask though... how did it happen? Were you just that 1% time where the condom didn't work?
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http://www.myspace.com/theworldsgreatestdad
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Sarah, I'm so happy for you! really!!
You do know making this topic means you gotta let GW pick the name, right?
But really, this is surreal! to see little VB grow up in the internet world and then BOOM he's a man.
I'm glad you're both in agreement over what to do. I hope you guys are happy forever! I can't wait to see photos of little Sarah Jr. growing up ^_^
edit: actually I lied. I hope you never visit GW again (or like once a month) once you have a kid. It'll be much more fun to hang out with your KID.
Man, how does it feel to just say that in your head? Your KID
EDIT: CONGRATULATIONS
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I just have to ask though... how did it happen? Were you just that 1% time where the condom didn't work?
You know, I really don't know. Maybe it broke.
But you know, there is something that makes you say HOW DID THIS HAPPEN as soon as you find out. I mean it is pretty clear how it happened but I still said it. I think it scared her a bit and made her think maybe I was unhappy. But it's so far the opposite.
And yeah, you guys can pick the name. I will subtly suggest it to Meaghan while she's drugged up giving birth. Or I will sneak off and register it or however you do it. TOO LATE IT'S ALREADY ON THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE!!!
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are you sure it's yours
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Congrats man. Hope everything works out for you!
Obligatory name it Foget joke.
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I'm glad you did this because I was about THIS CLOSE to spilling the beans. I hate keeping secrets.
Anyway, you have my biggest congratulations. You're on your way to the big wild world of parenting and trust me, you'll enjoy it. You and Meaghan should come down for 3-4 November and we can all celebrate together. I don't know you outside of the intrawebs but just the idea of a new baby always makes me smile.
To fill in the rest of the forums I basically shared a tiny part of my experience as a parent with VB to help give him a better perspective on what is happening right now and what will be happening in the near future. And I'm glad that I was able to get your brain thinking but, like I told you on IRC there are times when you'll have to shut your brain off because you'll go BONKERS.
One request, though: DUE DATE PLEASE. Kids usually don't arrive on their due dates but it'll give us an idea of when to expect your little bundle(s) of joy... wait a second... if you're finding out on 18 October... I'm not an expert but if you conceived in September and found out in the middle of October that should put the due date roughly in the middle of June. My birthday is 11 June. WEIRD.
Also, it may be tempting to find out the sex of the baby during the ultrasounds but give yourself the extra surprise and don't do it.
Again, congratulations. And if there are questions I'll do what I can to help.
I just have to ask though... how did it happen? Were you just that 1% time where the condom didn't work?
Accidents like that happen more often than people think. Check out my avatar, for example.
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are you sure it's yours
[/quote
yes.
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Wow man, congratulations! Being a dad is one of the greatest honors a guy can have, and now it's your turn. I wish you and her good luck!
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And yeah, you guys can pick the name. I will subtly suggest it to Meaghan while she's drugged up giving birth. Or I will sneak off and register it or however you do it. TOO LATE IT'S ALREADY ON THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE!!!
Great now your baby will be named Dongs :[
Also this is totally unrelated to being like a GOOD DAD or whatever but you're just 19 right? And probably not married? If thats the case are you planning on getting married now that you know she has your child?
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Great now your baby will be named Dongs :[
Also this is totally unrelated to being like a GOOD DAD or whatever but you're just 19 right? And probably not married? If thats the case are you planning on getting married now that you know she has your child?
Yeah, I am going to be 20 in January. And no we're not married. I don't plan on doing it because of this. I didn't plan on doing it for a while still, but I think this will definitely speed that up, because I don't like the idea of being a parent out of wedlock for a long time (lol traditions)
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congrats on penetrating the vaginal barrel :sly:
and...
congrats on creating a vb junior! :thumbsupbuddy:
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Congratulations (get a paternity test just to be sure)
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Thanks guys.
I said it on IRC but I should clarify that the condom we used was in my wallet for years. I think since I was 15ish. SO...
Also, mamamack, when is the best time to start looking into doctors (and pediatricians, even?) and when will they be able to tell things about the baby, etc?
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gw babyboom
in a decade our children will inherit the website
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This is huge pal. I am really happy for you and know you'll be a very good father because you have been almost DISARMINGLY RESPONSIBLE lately. You're also a pretty good guy and I can't really think of anyone at GW who could do better than you!
But man, shit like this makes me realize I am an adult now and the same will be happening for me soon. Man, ugh.
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Thanks guys.
I said it on IRC but I should clarify that the condom we used was in my wallet for years. I think since I was 15ish. SO...
Also, mamamack, when is the best time to start looking into doctors (and pediatricians, even?) and when will they be able to tell things about the baby, etc?
oh.
well then your condom expired then, thats why.
Congrats man!!
hope you enjoy being a parent.
do you want a boy or girl?
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Uhm, well, doing it in the middle of the night isn't advisable.
The first thing to do is, if she has a family doctor, go pay him/her a visit. The family doctor will be able to put you in touch with an OB/GYN. You can start looking into a pediatrician right now but you won't need it until after baby comes and you have to start thinking about immunizations. If you want a midwife now would be the time to start looking, too. Get signed up for any parenting or birthing classes as soon as you can.
Alternatively, thumb through the yellow pages and look up OB/GYNs. Call them up and talk to the receptionist. Ask about how long they've been in practice, whether or not they specialize in problem births, things like that. Or ask friends and family if they have any recommendations about doctors. The biggest thing is to make sure that your girlfriend is completely comfortable with the doctor because he's going to be doing a number of things to parts of her body that you probably don't want to think about. The other thing you should ask about is where your prospective OB/GYN would want Meg to give birth. If you're not comfortable with the hospital then you need to find another one. There will be blood work done at various stages of pregnancy just to make sure everything is going all right. And, not to sound gross, but every doctor's appointment after the confirmation of pregnancy will involve a urine sample.
If the pregnancy hasn't been confirmed through blood work then that will be the first thing that happens. I don't think OHIP covers this but it's not a terribly expensive test. Depending on the doctor you use you may wind up having an ultrasound very early on. For me I didn't start seeing the doctor until I was almost three months in and didn't get my first ultrasound until almost 4 months in. I recall asking whether or not the technician could determine the sex at that point and she told me no because it was a bit early on to get a clear reading. The last ultrasound I had was 25 August and Autumn was already engaged and curled up so much that the tech couldn't see it then, either. Whether you find out the sex or not is up to you (please don't). Your first ultrasound will usually be for measurements, confirmation of the due date and to check and see just how many babies you're having.
I had to search the internet but I found the website with the weekly calender I used to track pregnancy progress. There are LOTS of these things out there. http://www.pregnancy-info.net/week5.html Just scroll down to check out the other weeks of development.
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already said this on mirc but congrats man, it's really great.
this makes me sad that i can't have children though :(
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This is huge pal. I am really happy for you and know you'll be a very good father because you have been almost DISARMINGLY RESPONSIBLE lately. You're also a pretty good guy and I can't really think of anyone at GW who could do better than you!
But man, shit like this makes me realize I am an adult now and the same will be happening for me soon. Man, ugh.
Yeah I know! I was thinking a little while ago that we are growing up really fast. People I know are getting married and having children and shit and it felt like everyone else was growing up, except me. But now I have a job that has the possibility of being a career, have a kid on the way, own property and am turning 20. It is some pretty overwhelming stuff! It seems like just yesterday we were having a swearing competition... or visiting RPGi and fighting for it to stay alive, and then burning down castle greyskull. We are growing up, buster! And I've got to say, I couldn't be happier to have grown up along side you, and everyone else here.
As for the boy or girl question, I don't care either way. I think a little girl would be rad though, I'm afraid she'll become a teenager and hate me really fast though :(
Also, Mamamack, haha, I didn't plan on going tonight. Meg is gone back to school right now anyway. What is an OB/GYN? Gynecologist? And we're sure she's pregnant, she did like 30 pregnancy tests.
I will set up an appointment with my doctor on monday though.
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Great news, buddy. Congratz.
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Also, Mamamack, haha, I didn't plan on going tonight. Meg is gone back to school right now anyway. What is an OB/GYN? Gynecologist? And we're sure she's pregnant, she did like 30 pregnancy tests.
I will set up an appointment with my doctor on monday though.
An OB/GYN is short for 'Obstetrician/Gynecologist' meaning a doctor who specializes in women's parts AND who deals with pregnancies and births. If you go on your own to see a doctor and say "Yeah, I need an OB/GYN cause I'm gonna be a parent" the first thing the doctor is going to say is "Oh that's nice where's the mother?"
Also, even if you've done the at-home pregnancy tests most doctors will still make you do the blood testing. It's stupid, I know.
Another thing... I don't think it would change anything but Meg's school might want to know that she's pregnant. I realize it's a college/university but they may take special steps to help her along. Especially toward the end of the pregnancy... man I didn't want to get out of bed towards the end of my pregnancy, let alone get up and go to school.
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haha man wow congrats!
I really think you'll make a great dad, you seem very responsible and of anyone around my age on GW to take on being a dad I'd probably have picked you to be the one. Seriously, dote on him/her and be the best fucking dad ever.
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I'm really interested in how she got pregnant if you used a condom... for my own welfare. You say the condom was years old, but I don't see how that matters as long as it didn't break. Sperm cannot pass through a solid object - can it?
Also, how old are you? 20? Yeesh...well I'm glad that you're glad about it.
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I'm really interested in how she got pregnant if you used a condom... for my own welfare. You say the condom was years old, but I don't see how that matters as long as it didn't break. Sperm cannot pass through a solid object - can it?
Also, how old are you? 20? Yeesh...well I'm glad that you're glad about it.
Since it's years old, chances are it did break.
Anyway, congratulations! That's really surprising to hear about this. I've never really known you personally but I've obviously seen you around a lot, and it's really cool to see you get to this point in life. :grin:
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You're going to raise a child in the post-9/11 world. I hope you know what you're doing.
Congratulations on becoming a parent!
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Man, congrats to you! That is some pretty huge news, and I'm sure you'll make a fucking awesome dad. Make sure to keep your kid away from us here at GW.
if we're still around then :fogetcool:
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i wouldnt say "we" are growing up fast. most people do it slowly. you are just cramming as much stuff into as small a time as possible, apparently.
so.. uh.. congrats, i guess, but man kids BEFORE 20 is not something i usually congratulate.
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Congratulations man! MAY YOU BE A GOOD FATHER, SON!
And you will be, I am sure of it just by looking at your approach on this!
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Congrats, dude. I suggest changing your screen name here though.. or I'll always see you as a creepy dad.
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if you change your mind, then remember that i can send $8000+shipping your way
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Congratulations on having sex. The baby's a cool bonus. You are on your way to be a true grandpa. Good luck.
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i always thought it'd be an advantage to be really short so your kid can wear your old clothes, so i guess form this point of view you are at a disadvantage.
also it is really weird that everyone is having kids now (not just on GW, but in real life too. mostly in real life actually)
i actually felt like i was lagging behind so much i got high speed internet. i think this could have reverse effects!!
good grief what is going through your head right now young man???
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Holy shit, Congratulations man! This is amazing news... My first thought was that you are probably a little young to be raising a baby but my parents had me when they were 18 and I have friends who raise babies fine so as long as you are happy and financially stable then that's all that matters.
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Congrats, I guess. At least you're you're happy about this. :)
Good luck. At this point, I know that I couldn't take care of no kid.
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Gay.
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Glad to see your happy about it.
Congrats, man.
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Gay.
Gay that he got laid by a woman while you are still making out with your pillow? :fogetmmh:
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Congratulations on having sex. The baby's a cool bonus. You are on your way to be a true grandpa. Good luck.
haha man I'm sitting here going: I would never want to have kids I am going to be poor and I only care to be responsible enough to take care of myself I would just end up fucking up two other peoples lives. And already talk of being a grandpa (though that would be pretty sweet)
so yeah, gl hf with the baby I guess. You're taking a completely different route with it than I would be, and thats commendable.
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Gay that he got laid by a woman while you are still making out with your pillow? :fogetmmh:
bad bm mods dont respond to spam
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congratulations. get one of those paternity tests and after that be a proud father. any plans of marriage for you guys or will that be later.
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For a minute there I thought you were going to say she had lukemia.
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Congratulations!
Good luck with all of it :D
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Ouch... At the age of 19 and already having a kid? I would say wait until you got out of college (if you're in or going to college at least) before having a kid. Well, you seem excited about it, so I wish you and the lucky lady good luck regardless!
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if its a boy.....
are you going to.... touch him
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Congratulations on you being a father and all, especially if you can support it!
Now, I still have to say this: It was pretty dumb to have a condom for five years AND in a wallet. (That's like the first thing you are explicitly taught not to do in regard to condoms)
Anyway, good luck on raising the kid.
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so.. uh.. congrats, i guess, but man kids BEFORE 20 is not something i usually congratulate.
Word.
I mean uh I won't deny I'm somewhat concerned with you having a child at your young age but really you'd know the circumstances best in your case so I just wanted to express my word of caution here. Still, good luck and congratulations man.
EDIT: yeah, almost forgot about the condom, wtf? Makes me doubt you a more tbh
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SCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!! In more ways then one. ;)
Well good luck to ya. :P
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Congratulations on you being a father and all, especially if you can support it!
Now, I still have to say this: It was pretty dumb to have a condom for five years AND in a wallet. (That's like the first thing you are explicitly taught not to do in regard to condoms)
Haha, yeah I am well aware of the bad decision. Just, it was late at night, she lives out in the middle of a bush and it was her last night here for a while. It was either OLD LEATHER BREATH (that is what I called it (my wallet is mostly velcro though so...)) or nothing. I went with what I thought was the safer choice.
Also I am surprised by the lack of GET A PATERNITY TEST comments. I figured there'd be a lot more. I'm positive the kid is mine, so. She goes to a fashion university, and trust me, the only dudes there aren't interested in sex with girls.
Thanks a lot, Vale. I'm glad you respect my decision.
Annnnd yessss I didn't think about that. Grandpahood... here I come.
Thanks a lot guys.
(ps adeline there is a lot going through my head right now I think I will probably revive my lj account because of BEIN' DADDY)
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bad bm mods dont respond to spam
I was just going to warn him but DIDN'T WANT TO OVERSTEP MY BOUNDARIES
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Dude that's pretty sweet, good luck mister.
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That's so nice if it's really yours!
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good show ol man good show.
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so.. uh.. congrats, i guess, but man kids BEFORE 20 is not something i usually congratulate.
Little odd that nobody else mentioned this; kids are pretty bad news that young. Good Luck I guess if you think you're prepared.
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Oh, good for you. I wouldn't think of having children until I was older, I'd still like to enjoy the freedom granted to me in my youth, and I'd also want to make sure that I was 100% financially stable before doing so. Have fun with that though, although it seems like you're really underestimating what parenting takes. Especially if your kids a fucking bitch.
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Also I am surprised by the lack of GET A PATERNITY TEST comments. I figured there'd be a lot more. I'm positive the kid is mine, so. She goes to a fashion university, and trust me, the only dudes there aren't interested in sex with girls.
You never heard of the whole "pretend to be gay trick" at all? "Brenda, I really like you but I think I am gay... can you help me find out... by letting me put my dick in you?" I'm no expert on the trick, as I do not resort to trickery in relationships, so I dunno the success rate, but there is still something to be cautious about.
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Little odd that nobody else mentioned this; kids are pretty bad news that young. Good Luck I guess if you think you're prepared.
Well, why? Is it better to wait until you can't have them anymore?
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You never heard of the whole "pretend to be gay trick" at all? "Brenda, I really like you but I think I am gay... can you help me find out... by letting me put my dick in you?" I'm no expert on the trick, as I do not resort to trickery in relationships, so I dunno the success rate, but there is still something to be cautious about.
Hahaha, no. I've met these boys and they're definitely gay. I don't think they would MAKE OUT IN FRONT OF US just to get into her pants.
Besides, if I can't even trust her on this we probably shouldn't be having a baby anyway. But I do trust, and have trusted her for the last five years. She's never given me a reason to not trust her.
Also, Ice Puppet, I'm not underestimating what it takes to raise a child. Well, I probably am as far as mental and emotional issues go, but with things like money, support and stuff, I've got a pretty good idea of what's needed, and I know I can support a child financially without any problems, or help. I have tons of money saved up that was meant for opening my store but I am willing to put that aside and use it on raising the child.
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One of my friends who turned 20 in August has just had a kid so I can kinda relate to this, but don't know exactly what it's like becuase I'm not a dad. What I've noticed in him is that his personality has changed a lot. He used to be a real joker and loved to party, but now he rarely smiles and looks exhausted all of the time, not to mention I rarely see him.
But good luck and everything I guess, rather you than me.
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Bravo, sarah, bravo! I hope the name you choose isn't regrettable and can't easily be made fun of.
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Oh yeah he's calling the kid Bright.
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I still think it is too fucking early.
Way too fucking early, and this job of yours (moving boxes and shit right) is not what I call stable, even if you could keep it for years. Her mom is rich, so fucking what? The idea is that you are able to be self-sufficient, and babies are expensive. Consider the number of times you'll have to go to hospital, buy more food, diapers, sleep very little time, eventually kindergarden (although I guess you're sending to public school ok). All this shit and more when you are still young and still haven't experienced enough, aren't conscious enough, aren't mature enough, aren't wise enough, etc.
Since you're not going to university I guess the expenses of having a baby is a bit lightier (if I were to have a baby now... fuck me, and I am older than you).
You don't have much of a choice though. Tough luck.
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You know what, I take back what I said. I agree with Shepperd.
Although
You don't have much of a choice though.
Provided he has access to safe means (and legal), there is always abortion.
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guys i already brought this up with him. while i hate being the one to shut down a point of view that is valid (and the one i personally still think is the right choice), if vb wants to throw away his dreams (unless BABBY AT 19 is part of those dreams and life he hopes to have) thats up to him and while i can't personally say CONGRATS or whatever i'm sure he didn't make this topic for life advice anyways.
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nah because the situation is not that for considering an abortion. The other choice is to give it for adoption but it is a very hard shit to deal with.
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man my post is a dickpost but I seriously can't bring myself to say congratulations and actually mean it because you are 19 and so is she and asdffffff. :(
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Me neither, actually
I blame my mom :(
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I didn't mean to sound arrogant or anything. I was just stating something relatively obvious. You seem dead set on having it, so good luck to you. It's pretty sad that you have to put the money you've saved into a kid. A much better investment would have been your own store...probably..
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I mean, I congratulate him with the assumption that this is what he really wants; to have a kid at 19. Personally, personally, I think having a kid that young is a lifefuck, and if I had a kid that young (and I'm 20) I'd consider my life pretty much ruined. But I'm not him, and it's his situation, so if this what he wants, and he and the mother really think they can handle it, then more power to them.
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Congrats on the baby, but how did you own property? I need to know, because I was considering doing that.
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wow just wow
good luck with raising the kid. At such an age, I doubt you even have much in terms of savings for yourself (You do have savings accounts right?) Regardless, congratulations and best of luck
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Okay, well just to set things straight, I don't move boxes and haven't since like April. I am a guidance counselor at a high school, and I've signed a contract to work from September 2007 until June 2009, so that is pretty stable. The contract can, and from what I've heard so far, WILL be renewed if I want to keep the job. I get paid a pretty good salary, and I have around (last time I checked) $45,000 in my bank account. I don't waste a lot of money.
Abortion has been taken into consideration; it's not for us. It doesn't make sense for us for any reason beyond the fact that we are 19. And I see kids with FAR LESS, who are far younger than us taking care of babies. They don't have any support systems beyond their grandparents who are being forced to pay for everything, because they don't like the idea of giving up their grandchildren.
We've got great friends and families (well, her side) who will be able to give us any support we need. Whether it's looking after the baby for a few hours so we can sleep, or if it's just HANGING OUT or whatever. We've got that.
As far as the future goes, neither of us planned for a baby, but it's not something that will ruin our dreams. First and foremost, my plan is to keep Meaghan's goals as the centre of attention. I will be doing everything possible to make sure this doesn't affect her schooling. That will probably include me moving near her university and commuting an hour to work every day, but that's fine with me.
And most of all, we have the most stable relationship of anyone I know. We're not one of those couples who fights all the time and breaks up once a week. We're like MARRIED OLD PEOPLE in that respect. She knows I do my thing, and is fine with that, and I let her do her things. And we're fine with doing each others stuff, too. I mean, hell, she even knows who half the people here at GW are. We're incredibly open and honest with each other. She's been there for me through the worst times, and I've been there for her (although she is pretty good and doesn't have a lot of problems with life). And mostly, I love her with all of my heart.
We're both responsible enough to do this, and again I can't think of any reason beyond NINETEEN (almost 20) why we shouldn't do this.
Besides, I have always wanted to have kids pretty early. I was thinking more like 23 but whatever, I can deal with this.
edit: Tigress save up a lot of money and don't take out any loans if you want to buy a property. That's really all the advice I can give you because it's really complicated shit. Lots of paper work. Also if you're doing a payment plan, like a credit card, put down lots on the first payment, and double whatever they plan is per month (so instead of $600, pay $1200.)
edit again: oh also I have tons of experience with children (not so much babies but they won't be that way forever). I am really good! That is one of the reasons I am excited to have a kid, too. I met a lot of great kids this summer, and I can't wait to have a great kid of my own.
Edit 3: Hospital care and shit is free I live in Canada. :)
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you...you do realize the 19 thing is a really huge deal and not something you can just dismiss because you've taken care of kids in a summer camp.
uggggggh I feel bad so I'm going to stop posting but you really didn't say anything that Trihan didn't say when he was justifying his marriage to an internet girl.
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man, i find it kinda funny how people assume that 19/20 is too young to have kids and shit and that you are FUCKED FOREVER if you do.
my mother had me at 21 and she's a legal aid and never even went to university. we've never been TOO RICH but not poor at all either (we make enough money that i can allow myself to buy an Apple desktop, two laptops, a 360 and various other shit).
so yeah it's not like having a baby while being young fucks you forever and ever.
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Like I said, I don't want to sound like an ignorant asshole, but I hope you're really not having delusions of grandeur with this whole childbearing thing here. Regardless of how you two might feel about the situation and each other, both of you are young as shit. Neither of you are likely even fully developed yet, and as far as society goes, you're just not ready yet (don't even bother with the YOU DON'T KNOW ME MAN spiel either, save it). While I'm not saying that you're fucked, no matter how much money you have, or how much you love your girl, or whatever, you're gonna have a rough time, man. You're just so young, and age isn't just a number.
But like I said, its your life, and you know your prerogatives.
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If you really think you can take care of a child, all I can say is congrats. It's good to see good karma at work. After all the shit you went through in the last few years I'm glad to see something good is happening to you.
Tell us when she give birth so we can get the cigars out.
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Congradulations! :D This is wonderful news!
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Hey man as long as you can financially support a child this is a good thing. I've always said that I'll never have a kid unless I know I can provide for him/her- it's never really a matter of age like a lot of people make it out to be.
And you seem happy so congratulations.
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man, i find it kinda funny how people assume that 19/20 is too young to have kids and shit and that you are FUCKED FOREVER if you do.
my mother had me at 21 and she's a legal aid and never even went to university. we've never been TOO RICH but not poor at all either (we make enough money that i can allow myself to buy an Apple desktop, two laptops, a 360 and various other shit).
so yeah it's not like having a baby while being young fucks you forever and ever.
Just so you know, having a kid at 21, twenty two years ago is a bit different having a kid at 19 now. The "My mom had me at X age and we're fine" argument is generally a bad one.
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you...you do realize the 19 thing is a really huge deal and not something you can just dismiss because you've taken care of kids in a summer camp.
uggggggh I feel bad so I'm going to stop posting but you really didn't say anything that Trihan didn't say when he was justifying his marriage to an internet girl.
No, it's really not. If I were some immature, unreliable, arrogant little prick, then maybe. But I'm an educated, self-reliant, responsible adult. I mean, I've done stupid shit, but I don't anymore, and will do even less, now.
I want to say there is very little that differentiates me from a twenty-seven year old, but I really don't know. And everyone goes through different stuff so it's pretty ridiculous to judge someones ability to do something based on age. I've got just as much, if not more life experience than most of the twenty-seven year olds I know.
I guess you think because you couldn't have cared for a child at 19, or still can't, that it means no one can, effectively. I mean, you're a smart guy and you've got a pretty good grasp on REALITY, and maybe that OVERLY ANALYTICAL attitude is what makes you think you, or myself, couldn't raise a child properly, but that's completely untrue. You can hardly tell if someone is going to be good at something like this. Hell, even some mentally handicapped people raise GOOD PEOPLE.
I AM confident that we can raise a child, and give it everything is needs with little to no trouble, without needing to rely on anyone else. I am confident that our lives won't be ruined by this. Of course it's going to change shit, but it's not going to DESTROY US.
It's always going to be a chance, no matter how old we are. I want to take that chance, now. I'm prepared to deal with the consequences.
Edit: Also I am VERY aware it's not going to be an easy task. I'm okay with not sleeping, or not having time to myself, and everything else that comes with having a child. And if in the end it turns out we were wrong, and we can't handle it, I'm prepared to deal with that.
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VB, I have a question for you. What is it about you that makes you a particularly responsible, financially secure, educated, and wise adult with plenty of life experience? Can you tell me a little about yourself that allows you to describe yourself this way?
And no, I'm not being a dick, but unlike a few people here, I don't know you or anything about you all that well, so I'm genuinely curious.
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oh no this topic is about to get really ugly :(
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Best of luck in life and congratulations on the little guy.
I feel I really don't need to say more than that.
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Even if money is not the problem, a good parent is one that is virtuous and morally disciplined.
A good parent needs to have a sustantive understanding of reality and of the different point of views. A good sense of ethics and moral codes.
And a virtuosity to put those moral codes into practise. Which is not fucking easy At ALL, ESPECIALLY AT YOUR AGE.
A good parent has to make good decisions, usually decisions that may hurt in the short run but are a blessing in the long run.
Being a good parent means not only being able of working to get money for the family, but to be ready for any emergency, and to have that dexterity of mind you need to have a very stabilized life.
Lucky you, you seem to have a decent job and you are not in university, but this baby will not make it possible for your gf to consider a university opportunity since she'll have to take care of the baby 24hs a day (unless you want a babysitter, but I hate those things. Your parents (from any side) can help, and obviously should, but the baby needs to spend most of its time with the mother. This intangible force called motherly love.
Basically, having a baby is an introduction of a whole new level of mental state, of mental perception of the way the world functions. Money is important so that you can give everything your child needs (which means you will have a more miserable life for yourself, love repairs this) medical, education, nutrition, health care, entretainment.
But why the fuck I am listing all this shit
It is clear you're going to accept this challenge so good luck, but I wouldn't like to be in your position at all. Maybe it is because I go to university, which keeps my life more than busy. Maybe it is because I want to solidify a relationship, marry and then have babies once the situation is given so that we are prepared for the ultimate challenge in life.
I proposed myself not to marry until I was 25.
Why this shit?
Because I know I haven't learnt enough about the world, I might feel confident, and I can say hey I think I do have what it takes to mantain a baby (not true since I don't have an self-sufficient job), but I know i need more time, I need to take more decisions, as a routine, as practise. I need to make mistakes, and take right decisions, and learn from experience. When you think you know enough, you can bet on my word that you still do not know one single fucking thing.
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Thanks a lot, Vale. I'm glad you respect my decision.
I'm sorry I was in the spamming mood then. I'm not against your decision, just so you know. :shrug:
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you people underestimate people
let him have is goddamn kid jesus
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VB, I have a question for you. What is it about you that makes you a particularly responsible, financially secure, educated, and wise adult with plenty of life experience? Can you tell me a little about yourself that allows you to describe yourself this way?
And no, I'm not being a dick, but unlike a few people here, I don't know you or anything about you all that well, so I'm genuinely curious.
There's a lot of shit. I grew up in a pretty unstable household with my father and my two sisters. My mom and dad divorced when I was five months old. My sisters were two and four years older than me. I also have four half siblings.
My mom was a gambling addict, my dad just had no idea what he was doing, didn't really want children so much but thought taking care of us was better than leaving us with our mom who had no money, ever. Neither of them had any sort of plans, they were completely irresponsible, and the fact each child was unplanned was pretty obvious. (We were all the results of 'make-up sex' after a big fight, I have been told!
As we grew up, my sisters began resent my dad, being teenage girls or whatever. I didn't understand, I pretty much kept to myself and played video games from ages 3 - 11. My oldest sister ran away from home at 15ish, and that hit me pretty hard. I didn't see her again for several years after that. Then, my other sister started dating a 17 or 18 year old at the age of 13 (grade 7) and he was a pretty huge faggot. I mean, he was nice to me for a while and he'd bring me stuff he stole so I was cool with him. But he started hitting my sister and shit. My dad didn't like him but he soon realised there was little he could do. He attempted to seperate them. Upon entering high school she decided living with him was more important and she ran away from home, too. One night I was going to the store and I ran into the two of them. Her boyfriend told me not to say anything, and then proceeded to beat the living shit out of me, leaving me pretty much half dead in the parking lot. I would've been about 12. He was a BIG GUY too. My sister watched all this without helping me at all, even when I called for her. So, I felt pretty abandoned, in life. I grew pretty distant and bitter too, but also used this experience to become a better person. I now knew exactly what I didn't want to be.
As I grew older, I also began resenting my father. He's a pretty big idiot, and so is my mother. I wouldn't wish parents like them on anyone. At age 14, I got my first job and started saving up money. It was to get away from here, but as time went on, I started getting involved in community shit (concerts an stuff) and felt pretty happy, and was dating meaghan so everything was going really well.
Then I got really sick, had two bleeding ulcers and spent a lot of time in the hospital, away from the world. I used this time to figure out a lot of shit. I was constantly reading, and trying to learn as much as I could. My main goal in life is to just be a GOOD PERSON.
So after all that, I got back into the workforce and started saving up money again. Then I had to deal with my best friends death which was pretty hard but I kept with it, and learned from the experience.
I don't even want to continue on, and I left a lot of shit out, but what I am trying to say is that I've taken each experience of my life, and taken time to learn from it, and to better myself. I am constantly striving to learn, and understand. That is what makes me better educated, responsible and a 'wise adult.' My realistic views on money, and my lack of spending retardedly is what makes me financially secure.
And I think the fact that I am embracing this chance, also makes me particularily responsible. Most other people my age would run away from something like this.
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my mother had me at 21 and she's a legal aid and never even went to university. we've never been TOO RICH but not poor at all either (we make enough money that i can allow myself to buy an Apple desktop, two laptops, a 360 and various other shit).
I dunno if you are american or what but you make me think of how USA works.
The typical american stereotype is that of one that is guided not by a spiritual or educated force, but by a consumerist habit.
What do I mean: You highlight the fact that you can afford 2 laptops and other "expensive" shit. This shows how you value or class yourself based on possessions, on property.
That's the typical american way, I am not saying everyone is like that but everybody outside USA know the americans as people who work all day, go home, get food and sit on their sofa to watch the telly.
USA, because of the way its consumer-obsessive market works, it is not big deal to buy neat technologies.
That's the stereotype, and ok it may sound extremist, and I'm not saying you are like that, but what you said did remind me of this.
I have a different valoration of what to do with money. My priorities is not to have TVs in all the rooms, 2Terrabytes of memory capacity in my laptop, a sport car, huge houses, etc.
No.
My priorities are education first, then health. Education and culture is what enriches life, not watching the fucking telly and go to the cinema to watch the latest flashy movie. The rest of the money goes to satisfy other needs, such as nutrition and entretainment and whatever the context calls for (like a new laptop for my daughter who's starting university), and when possible, save money for some luxuries such as a new car, etc.
So going back to the point, if I were to have a family, that's where my money would go.
ho hum
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you know, I'm just not going to reply any more, but I am going to say that the odds are so against you and you seem to be blindsided by the fact that you have MONEY. it was pretty insulting of you to say that I was only saying the shit I was saying because I myself would not have been a good father at the age of 19 (fyi if there is one thing in life I want to accomplish it is BEING A FATHER) instead of the fact that every single bit of medical, sociological, and economic advice says it's a bad idea for someone who never even graduated high school to have a child, especially when they are as full of parental issues as you are (did you seriously think posting that paragraph would make anyone say OH HE'S MORE STABLE? how much cognitive dissonance did you have to go through to think that posting your various traumas would make us think you were a better potential father?).
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I dunno if you are american or what but you make me think of how USA works.
The typical american stereotype is that of one that is guided not by a spiritual or educated force, but by a consumerist habit.
What do I mean: You highlight the fact that you can afford 2 laptops and other "expensive" shit. This shows how you value or class yourself based on possessions, on property.
That's the typical american way, I am not saying everyone is like that but everybody outside USA know the americans as people who work all day, go home, get food and sit on their sofa to watch the telly.
USA, because of the way its consumer-obsessive market works, it is not big deal to buy neat technologies.
That's the stereotype, and ok it may sound extremist, and I'm not saying you are like that, but what you said did remind me of this.
I have a different valoration of what to do with money. My priorities is not to have TVs in all the rooms, 2Terrabytes of memory capacity in my laptop, a sport car, huge houses, etc.
No.
My priorities are education first, then health. Education and culture is what enriches life, not watching the fucking telly and go to the cinema to watch the latest flashy movie. The rest of the money goes to satisfy other needs, such as nutrition and entretainment and whatever the context calls for (like a new laptop for my daughter who's starting university), and when possible, save money for some luxuries such as a new car, etc.
So going back to the point, if I were to have a family, that's where my money would go.
ho hum
i was just really highlighting the fact that you can have a very good life as a child even if your parents have you really young.
i've been going to film school for the last year and a half, probably going to end up at a private film school once i'm done with this one to further my knowledge of the field i really want to work in. also i live in canada so healthcare is kinda free (still need some insurances for other shit but if i'm ever to, i don't know, get a heart failure, i wouldn't have to worry about being too poor/not having insurance to see the next day).
so yeah, my point still stands. you can have children while being young and be a very good parent and support him through his entire life. age isn't much of a factor as much as maturity and your life experience up to that point really. some people experience more in 20 years of their life than others do in 60. would the 60 years old be more fit to have a child because he's more "mature" though because he's simply older?
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you know, I'm just not going to reply any more, but I am going to say that the odds are so against you and you seem to be blindsided by the fact that you have MONEY. it was pretty insulting of you to say that I was only saying the shit I was saying because I myself would not have been a good father at the age of 19 (fyi if there is one thing in life I want to accomplish it is BEING A FATHER) instead of the fact that every single bit of medical, sociological, and economic advice says it's a bad idea for someone who never even graduated high school to have a child, especially when they are as full of parental issues as you are (did you seriously think posting that paragraph would make anyone say OH HE'S MORE STABLE? how much cognitive dissonance did you have to go through to think that posting your various traumas would make us think you were a better potential father?).
I didn't say you couldn't do it, I said you don't seem confident that you could. And I'm not saying I will be a good parent because I have money, but no matter what that is an important factor. I think I will be a good parent because I am compassionate, loving, empathetic, realistic and THERE. I want to be apart of my child's life.
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I think you've proven time and time again you're one of the biggest assholes on GW. Yet, you claim that's not close to your real self.
If it isn't, how come you're seeking approval of the ones that has only seen this side of you? I think you're lying, the person you are on GW is just the person you really are.
I don't want to get into flamefest with you again, so not gonna reply. I don't doubt you as a parent, I just think your attempt to get approval on here is pretty immature. This is just so extreme far away from the life I live that I can't even begin forming an opinion on the matter. Good luck!
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I think you've proven time and time again you're one of the biggest assholes on GW. Yet, you claim that's not close to your real self.
If it isn't, how come you're seeking approval of the ones that has only seen this side of you? I think you're lying, the person you are on GW is just the person you really are.
I don't want to get into flamefest with you again, so not gonna reply. I don't doubt you as a parent, I just think your attempt to get approval on here is pretty immature. This is just so extreme far away from the life I live that I can't even begin forming an opinion on the matter. Good luck!
You haven't even talked to me in like two years. I'm not really an asshole anymore, I mean I've matured a lot. You don't agree with my opinion sometimes, and that has led to arguments between us (mostly me saying your music sucks), but I don't see how you can base your opinion of me on that. I assume you are going from back in the day when I called you a faggot all the time, but that's not how I am anymore. I even respect you now.
Also I don't want approval from GW. Not as a whole at least. There are a few people here who's opinions do matter to me (Steel, for one. He's a good guy and it hurts me that he feels I am incapable of being a good father.)
Regardless of what GW thinks, we're going to go through with this, because I'm confident we can. And I want those people to see that too.
edit: also I don't need to seek approval from friends and family because they are all fully confident we can do this, and they know me AND her better than anyone else here does.
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I looked at your profile, expecting to see something along the lines of, I don't know, 26+.
So I look; and I see "19!". Time for the obligatory "So you've ruined your life" pamphlet. While I applaud your sense of responsibility; a human life once born is not to be taken lightly. Do you honestly believe you're capable of supporting and raising this child? I can almost guarantee you you're underestimating the severity of this situation because you're "well off". Being a parent is a full time job; and it is not easy. Just because you grew up in a dysfunctional house hold does not necessarily mean you're going to be necessarily mean you're capable of raising a child.
I'm not trying to preach to you, but I'm strongly urging you to have more discussion about this with your girl friend, or perhaps seek the counsel of someone more suited; such as a... well I'm not sure actually; but a wise adult you trust perhaps.
(PS: Your sig made me almost choke again.)
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I didn't say you couldn't do it, I said you don't seem confident that you could.
It is not a lack of confidence from Steel's behalf. It is a realistic assimilation of his virtues that poses that he is not prepared for it.
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you people are insane
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i can picture all of gw saving money away until they're 40, having read all the baby books, THIS WILL BE JUNIOR'S COLLEGE FUND etc
at some point you just have to drop all your fear and neuroses and start fucking, you know
people do it every day, all over the world!
edit: ps from someone who has been through the experience and views it as positively as is probably possible, convincing someone to get an abortion will never achieve a good result. just think about it guys.
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i can picture all of gw saving money away until they're 40, having read all the baby books, THIS WILL BE JUNIOR'S COLLEGE FUND etc
And then they'll be going to have "infertility treatments" or high risk pregnancies.
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You're a better human than I!
I had a pregnancy scare and was shitting myself. Although, I was 15 and had absolutely no way of supporting a child, did not like the girl, did not want a child, etc, etc....
Anyway, congrats man, I'm glad you've decided to keep it and hope it all goes well!
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raise your baby in a spinning underwater room tho.
he'll be a superhero.
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Holy shit, man, that's pretty huge. I hope it all works out for you. I think I'd be fucking panicking if I found out I was going to be a father right now, and I'm pretty sure that I'm a few years older than you, so you seem to be handling this pretty well. Of course, I'm sure you had your initial freak out moment when you first hear, but still...
Congrats, I guess, and I seriously hope that it goes well for you now, and in the future.
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good luck have fun glad it's not me.
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i can picture all of gw saving money away until they're 40, having read all the baby books, THIS WILL BE JUNIOR'S COLLEGE FUND etc
at some point you just have to drop all your fear and neuroses and start fucking, you know
people do it every day, all over the world!
edit: ps from someone who has been through the experience and views it as positively as is probably possible, convincing someone to get an abortion will never achieve a good result. just think about it guys.
If by any case your posts were subtly directed to me, don't picture me when you picture "all of gw".
Still on the line of "If by any case your posts were subtly directed to me", you should as well consider that the logic presented in my posts are not fueled by a sense of fear and neuroses at all but by a sense of prudency.
Your post sucks pretty bad, because you are taking reactions to an extreme. And bucko, I fully agree with you that if we take it to one extreme, it looks sickly. However, there is nothing being taken to the extremes here, we try to react in a balanced way, y'know, the healthy way.
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I have a different valoration of what to do with money. My priorities is not to have TVs in all the rooms, 2Terrabytes of memory capacity in my laptop, a sport car, huge houses, etc.
No.
My priorities are education first, then health. Education and culture is what enriches life, not watching the fucking telly and go to the cinema to watch the latest flashy movie. The rest of the money goes to satisfy other needs, such as nutrition and entretainment and whatever the context calls for (like a new laptop for my daughter who's starting university), and when possible, save money for some luxuries such as a new car, etc.
So going back to the point, if I were to have a family, that's where my money would go.
ho hum
he was saying that they had money to buy stuff like that, not that stuff like that was what he based his lifesworth on.
education first then health, because education and culture enriches life. If i was dying, i'd be much happier if I knew the causes of my death and the widespread sociological effect of becomming deceased.
ugh what do you even mean by education? you say education and CULTURE enriches life but you wouldn't WASTE money on MOVIES and TELEVISION. Formal education really isn't all that enriching, else autistics would have a blast.
instead of the fact that every single bit of medical, sociological, and economic advice says it's a bad idea for someone who never even graduated high school to have a child
this is not true. I cannot find the guys name but he guest lectured one of my social psychology classes, and he did some research on poor unintelligent men who had children quite young, and it was the best thing that happened to them. it could be different in VB's case because the people in the study were specifically those doing unqualified work with no real possibility of advance, but if you guage life quality by happiness rather than networth then these guys were doing pretty well.
if vb wants to throw away his dreams (unless BABBY AT 19 is part of those dreams and life he hopes to have) thats up to him
if i remember rightly his dream was to open up a music store. if they have a kid at 19 then that kid could move out by the time they're 38, and will probably need much less input by the time they're 35, so he'll still have a fair bit of time later in life.
i honestly think having a baby at 19 will mess his life up much less than if he spent all his money to open up a store at 19
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i wouldnt say "we" are growing up fast. most people do it slowly. you are just cramming as much stuff into as small a time as possible, apparently.
so.. uh.. congrats, i guess, but man kids BEFORE 20 is not something i usually congratulate.
yeah this was along the lines of what i was gonna say!
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Wow man, congrats and all, but your a 19 year old with a kid? Dude YOU are a kid, I'm sorry man but I'm 19 myself, I just can't imagine having a kid. Well I hope you know what your getting yourself into and I hope you realize financially this is no easy task.
Well you asked for it I guess...in a way so just be responsible.
Man thats heavy stuff.
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Congrats, dude! You sure it's yours?
Either way, I'm happy for ya man. ^_^
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he was saying that they had money to buy stuff like that, not that stuff like that was what he based his lifesworth on.
education first then health, because education and culture enriches life. If i was dying, i'd be much happier if I knew the causes of my death and the widespread sociological effect of becomming deceased.
ugh what do you even mean by education? you say education and CULTURE enriches life but you wouldn't WASTE money on MOVIES and TELEVISION. Formal education really isn't all that enriching, else autistics would have a blast.
god, you didn't understand me AT ALL.
But it is ok, I write pretty shit.
"he was saying that they had money to buy stuff like that, not that stuff like that was what he based his lifesworth on. "
WELL SONNY SHAME YOU CUT DOWN MY QUOTE, because I said I wasn't saying he was like that but that he reminded me of what I subsequently said.
"education first then health, because education and culture enriches life. If i was dying, i'd be much happier if I knew the causes of my death and the widespread sociological effect of becomming deceased."
I am really amazed by the bluntness of your comment.
Education and health are not Mutually Exclusive.
"ugh what do you even mean by education? you say education and CULTURE enriches life but you wouldn't WASTE money on MOVIES and TELEVISION. Formal education really isn't all that enriching, else autistics would have a blast."
Education is not just school. It has more to do with the familiar environment. It also means learning to play an instrument, read music, paint, do artistic shit, play a sport(with all the ethics and codes it implies). The idea is to foment a rich spirit. These things you don't get by playing vidiot games.
But HO HO WOH! who said I am censoring television and movies? Dude, I watch tv like everyday (just a bit of zapping and I turn it off) and I go and watch a film every other week (I usually watch more plot-wise films).
Climbtree, you have a problem: you jump to extremist conclusions, and that's a mistake because rarely are people that extremist. Going extremes of something sucks balls man.
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Aww yeah, that's great! Congratulations.
All we need now is an obligatory baby-name thread. =P
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i thinking the guys saying you're too young and very possibly ill-prepared are understandably cautious, and while i'm not going to say congratulations for no reason other than appropriate social response, i'll say if you want to do this and you think you're pretty capable of it then by all means go for it. i don't know you at all. i wouldn't have a kid at this age if it were up to me, but i know i am a total fuck up and would be no good. i have LOTS of babies in my family constantly and i've taken a pretty big hand in helping to raise my littlest bro who has down syndrome so i know how frustrating it can occasionally be with kids, and also how great they can be too. but it's this kind of second hand experience which lets me know it's going to be a good while before i'm where i need to be to be a good dad, but i've got some very obvious problems and also, my priorities are elsewhere right now.
but how can anyone really know if they're gonna be prepared for raising a kid. tell vb that he's too young or whatever isn't going to make a difference. if he doesn't feel too young, then he doesn't feel too young. i don't really think it's the place of anyone other than the mother to be making that kind of judgement at this point. maybe when he has it he'll find that the joys of parenthood are vast and make up for the difficulties, or maybe he'll find that he can't deal with it and has a total breakdown who knows. this is life, and yeah it's dangerous for everyone involved especially the brand new baby, but you can either go for this kind of thing or not. like i say, i would choose not to, right now, but all things considered vb is saying yes.
so i think i agree with bort, and you should let him have this.
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Seriously there are shitloads of kids at my college that are like 19-21 and have a kid and they do fine. He seems to have things on the right tracks...which is better than a lot of people that this happens to.
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god, you didn't understand me AT ALL.
But it is ok, I write pretty shit.
"he was saying that they had money to buy stuff like that, not that stuff like that was what he based his lifesworth on. "
WELL SONNY SHAME YOU CUT DOWN MY QUOTE, because I said I wasn't saying he was like that but that he reminded me of what I subsequently said.
"education first then health, because education and culture enriches life. If i was dying, i'd be much happier if I knew the causes of my death and the widespread sociological effect of becomming deceased."
I am really amazed by the bluntness of your comment.
Education and health are not Mutually Exclusive.
"ugh what do you even mean by education? you say education and CULTURE enriches life but you wouldn't WASTE money on MOVIES and TELEVISION. Formal education really isn't all that enriching, else autistics would have a blast."
Education is not just school. It has more to do with the familiar environment. It also means learning to play an instrument, read music, paint, do artistic shit, play a sport(with all the ethics and codes it implies). The idea is to foment a rich spirit. These things you don't get by playing vidiot games.
But HO HO WOH! who said I am censoring television and movies? Dude, I watch tv like everyday (just a bit of zapping and I turn it off) and I go and watch a film every other week (I usually watch more plot-wise films).
Climbtree, you have a problem: you jump to extremist conclusions, and that's a mistake because rarely are people that extremist. Going extremes of something sucks balls man.
ok it looks like i related what you were saying to the topic too much.
still i would rate health, essentially just being alive, over education because i'd rather live longer and happier than know a lil somethin somethin.
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Ugh, debates aside, good luck man and congratulations. Prove the naysayers wrong!
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Seriously there are shitloads of kids at my college that are like 19-21 and have a kid and they do fine. He seems to have things on the right tracks...which is better than a lot of people that this happens to.
Depends on what you understand by "they do fine".
They can surely raise the kid alright, but are they raising them as the best damn way they can?
Their age limits their possibilities.
I mean, I may be an education nutty, I want my kid to learn as much as possible, specially when he's young, that's when he is a mind sponge. Of course I don't want to suffocate him with information, but rather foment an interest, etc.
I want to raise him in the best damn way possible and I know that at this precise moment I can't, and I have to focus on preparing myself for this ultimate task in life.
Probably VB will do fine.
When I say Tough Luck it is because he won't be able to do this in the most optimum situation, y'know, when you feel that you are ready, you have everything in order, stabilized, and say "let's maker a baby"
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i can picture all of gw saving money away until they're 40, having read all the baby books, THIS WILL BE JUNIOR'S COLLEGE FUND etc
at some point you just have to drop all your fear and neuroses and start fucking, you know
Yeah sure, except most people try not to have children at 19.
I mean, doesn't look like you have much of a choice, but I hope you've thought this over really hard. Having a child will take over most of your life if you intend to be a parent and not just send money to the gal and take the kid to the zoo on weekends. From this topic it looks like you're realizing 50% of the issue and thinking about if you'll be a good parent and such, but not really thinking that much about the other 50% which is, do you like her enough to want to have a family with her for the rest of your life, how will this affect my future life (ans: a lot) etc. The child does have the right to a good life, but so do you! As long as you're sure you're not running your life into the shitter, then have at it, and best of luck.
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I love how in a time of celebration and respecting a fellow GW'r still falls out into a Heated debate and jonefest on whats money and knowledge and past experiences helping this guy (and others to be a better father)
I personally am happy for you VB cause my mom and stepdad had a child when i was 16 and shes like 20months old now and possibly the best thing that ever happened in my life. shes the glue in my family (not knowing my father, knowing hes a coke head and not liking the fact my mom abandoned me at my grandparents till i was about 8, yeah i've gone through rough shit too. i know how it feels to be so abandoned and deserted.)
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I love how in a time of celebration and respecting a fellow GW'r still falls out into a Heated debate and jonefest on whats money and knowledge and past experiences helping this guy (and others to be a better father)
Mostly I am bragging but I am also looking for input on things I should take into consideration that I may not have already.
It's kind of why he made the topic.
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Congratulations VB! I'm sure you two will be really happy :)
Also, I am of the opinion that the baby's name should be a+++++ foget whateveryourlastnameis.
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It's kind of why he made the topic.
Mostly it was celebration though.
Also I have taken things like WILL WE STILL BE TOGETHER IN 5 YEARS into consideration. I wouldn't enter something like this if I didn't think we would be. She is not some girl I just hooked up with one night. We've been together for five years. And once again, I'm aware this will affect my future, but I did plan on having kids young anyway and there's not a lot I wanted to do beyond that, so it doesn't hurt me much. Like I am not thinking GOD DAMN NOW I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO CLIMB A MOUNTAIN because I never cared to do shit like that. Or anything, really.
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awwwww, congrats VB! I really hope everything goes well for you ;)
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it is much more subtle than GODDAM I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO CLIMB A MOUNTAIN
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You're 19 or 20 and now you're sure you would be with the same girl in 5 years... yeah, that's mature.
Well crap, I wasn't going to pick on you like others for not being mature and responsible enough because there's no point to it - what's done is done.
Are you aware of the irony that wasting your time explaining to strangers over the internet on a gaming forum that you are mature enough to have a kid is in itself immature?
Also, you claim to be responsible but if you were really a responsible person you wouldn't be in this situation would you? You wouldn't have used an old condom in your wallet. Is that an example of the kind of upcoming responsible decisions you will be making about your kid?
And if my post here bugs you then you're still being immature. You shouldn't care what some douchebag you don't know thinks, your priority should be your kid.
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he already said he didn't care about what most people said though.
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PS these aren't just internet strangers. I wouldn't have shared it if that's how I felt about everyone here.
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UM MAYBE WHEN YOUR DAD FRIEND'S DIES PAL.
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Seriously there are shitloads of kids at my college that are like 19-21 and have a kid and they do fine. He seems to have things on the right tracks...which is better than a lot of people that this happens to.
Just don't bring the kid to class. I had a couple of classes with a girl who had a kid, and she frequently brought the BABY to class with her (couldn't afford day care, I suppose). Usually, it wasn't a problem, as the kid just slept the entire time, but he woke up and screamed and cried with enough frequency for it to be quite annoying. The girl always left class immediately when that happened but, still, it was a huge disruption. I'm amazed that none of the profs ever told her to stop bringing the baby to class.
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In my school you're not allowed to have children on campus.
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he already said he didn't care about what most people said though.
I don't care if he doesn't care, it makes me feel good in my tummy when I write this shit
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Congratulations man.
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(ps adeline there is a lot going through my head right now I think I will probably revive my lj account because of BEIN' DADDY)
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i didn't say anything about LJ and all my posts have been jokes
unless... am i gonna be a daddy too?
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i think it is because you are the official GW blog reader?
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oh yeah i forgot about how i took up that position
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talk about potency.
Congrats, man. You'll be a great mayor dad.
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Man, no disrespect to (most of) the naysayers, but it isn't our place to sit here and judge whether or not VB is going to be a good parent or not. We only know him through the internet anyways, so how well do you know him as a person?
Congrats, VB, and good luck with everything.
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<stadsport> last night i gave my boyfriend a prostate orgasm.
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<stadsport> last night i gave my boyfriend a prostate orgasm.
Yeah I'm pretty proud of that.
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Shepperd, relax man, you already said your piece. There's little to nothing else we can do.
Good luck on being a dad, VB.
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i didn't say anything about LJ and all my posts have been jokes
unless... am i gonna be a daddy too?
You asked what was going through my head and that was my response.
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man, i hope you know what you're doing.
you're one of my best friends here, and i wish you all the best with it.
(ps can i be godfather)
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You said something about how this girl goes to a fashion university? Can you tell us more about that? Is it in the same town you live in or what?
I hope someone brings up the paternity issue - or else I will have to. And I don't want to be that person.
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Congrats dude. Ignore the people who are saying idotic things in here. THEY are the immature ones for making those comments. Not like they are old enough to even make the same decisions that you are making. Their still get dressed by their mommies.
Besides that, even people who are total douchebags become good fathers. It's an instinct when you have a child to do right. Obviously not ALL fathers turn out that way, but it's common.
Best of luck.
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Shepperd, relax man, you already said your piece. There's little to nothing else we can do.
it is not like I'm trying to change something, just speaking out loud, y'know
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Good luck. My mom had my sister when she was 15. But my dad and my mother stayed together and have made it work. Not that is was easy... but I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers buddy.
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You asked what was going through my head and that was my response.
idk maybe you read someone else's post because mine were
-world's greatest dad link
-is it yours
-i will buy the baby if you have second thoughts
or maybe i've been sleep-posting
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Congrats man. I couldn't imagine doing it at 20, but if you've been with the girl for 5 years you've obviously had plenty of time to figure it out.
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idk maybe you read someone else's post because mine were
-world's greatest dad link
-is it yours
-i will buy the baby if you have second thoughts
or maybe i've been sleep-posting
oh shit, I meant climbtree. Sorry for the confusion.
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Good luck. My mom had my sister when she was 15. But my dad and my mother stayed together and have made it work. Not that is was easy... but I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers buddy.
You can't compare raising a child at 15 to doing so at 20. That's completely different dude.
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man you cannot compare raising a child in one circumstance to one other circumstance. it's TOTTALY DIFFERENT.
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heh h eh hehe heeeeeeee
eeeh hhh what?
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You can't compare raising a child at 15 to doing so at 20. That's completely different dude.
aren't you supposed to be somewhere with some internet girlfriend right now???
Also, vb I just wanted to ask...if its ok... I remember you saying something about your job being all "OMG CANT HANG OUT WITH KIDS ITS BAD", do they care you are going to be having a kid?
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aren't you supposed to be somewhere with some internet girlfriend right now???
Also, vb I just wanted to ask...if its ok... I remember you saying something about your job being all "OMG CANT HANG OUT WITH KIDS ITS BAD", do they care you are going to be having a kid?
Haha, no, that's completely different. That 'can't hang out with kids' thing is meant for parties and illegal recreations. So if my friends who aren't 19 are going to be drinking, I can't be there. Meg is 19, and she's not a student of the school board any longer so it's not a problem.
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Ahh ok, thats good to hear then, so yeah again lol grats.
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You can't compare raising a child at 15 to doing so at 20. That's completely different dude.
Well I was kinda raising the point that if can be done at 15... it's that much "easier" to do it at 19. It was support.
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I see, I guess I took it the wrong way then. :P
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I see, I guess I took it the wrong way then. :P
I really don't understand how that happened either. Erave's post was PRETTY CLEAR. Also your previous comment about people criticizing VB was completely uncalled for.
Anyway I really don't think we should be using this topic to like DEBATE MORALITY OF YOUNG CHILD BIRTH.
So VB, are you planning on taking care of the kid while your girlfriend is in college? If not, are you planning on hiring someone to take care of it or what?
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I really don't understand how that happened either. Erave's post was PRETTY CLEAR. Also your previous comment about people criticizing VB was completely uncalled for.
Anyway I really don't think we should be using this topic to like DEBATE MORALITY OF YOUNG CHILD BIRTH.
So VB, are you planning on taking care of the kid while your girlfriend is in college? If not, are you planning on hiring someone to take care of it or what?
Well, assuming the baby doesn't come early she should be done for the summer by the time she does give birth, and I'll be off work around the same time. The course she took in University was only a year long, so she won't be going back in the fall. I think she plans on taking five or six months off to just recover and stuff. I can take maternity leave from work when it comes, and I think I will for a few months at least. Probably until October or November, at least, so she CAN take time and recover. She wants to go back to school to get a teaching degree in the fall (2009), so. By then it should be a year old and we can probably put it into daycare. (I'm not sure about the age requirements for that), but I heard there is some sort of daycare program at work so I will have to look into that.
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you people are insane
I agree with bort here. I believe vaginal barrel is more than capable of raising a child. he's a pretty good guy from what I've seen of him on these forums, and he seems pretty responsible. he'll be a #1 dad for sure.
I believe he is a capable intelligent guy who will be able to take care of his child through good and bad times. it may not be easy for him at this age, and it would not be something I would do right now, but I think he can take care of it and do well.
its okay to reproduce(at least for most of us here)
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By then it[/u] should be a year old
This is what I call babies. I am not ready for a child. If you still think of your own child as an it... You need to start changing things NOW, not when the baby comes. My sis-in-law just had a child with her long-time boyfriend and he is a NICE GUY but such a horrible FATHER.
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I think the only reason he called it an it is because it is too early to tell what the gender will be
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You could call it "the baby" instead. I've never heard anyone call a baby an it except for people who don't like or want them. I'll be glad to be wrong in his case though.
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yo congrats on the new arrival post up some pics so we can see the extra bonus u got from sex. that 5 year condom is ur lucky condom, if u really wanted the baby. But holy shit thats preety kool, have fun....... lol
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You could call it "the baby" instead. I've never heard anyone call a baby an it except for people who don't like or want them. I'll be glad to be wrong in his case though.
Well most of the time I have been trying to refer to THE BABY as that but it is hard to do so all the time. If I knew what gender THE BABY will be then I would call THE BABY by that title.
Plus do you really want to see THE BABY as many times as you just did in that sentence?
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Well that's good. I didn't know if it was just a slip or if that was the TITLE you had given the baby. I don't want to necessarily congratulate you on "getting" pregnant, but congrats for sure for taking up the responsibility that goes with it.
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jesus christ i feel sorry for you
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that "it" shit is stupid. i don't think it has any bearing on anything seeing as he doesn't have any idea what gender it is, plus right now there is no baby! it is just this idea at the moment, something no-one has seen yet. if he was still calling it it after it was born then okay, but nope.
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Big congratulations man :D
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Well most of the time I have been trying to refer to THE BABY as that but it is hard to do so all the time. If I knew what gender THE BABY will be then I would call THE BABY by that title.
Plus do you really want to see THE BABY as many times as you just did in that sentence?
Refer to it as "bump" or "the bump." This is what we called my friend's baby...at least until it clawed it's way out of her. Now it is called Aria, which is a pretty cool name.
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have fun with this shit.
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Do take a test, and as long as you are happy with it who cares what other people are saying. Just make sure you don't regret it later on.
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I am actually really excited for you because you seem like a pretty cool guy and I think you will make a good dad!
You should have a man shower where all your male friends bring you gifts and shit, because it isn't fair that only women get to have one! Sure they hold it in their eggsac for 9 months, but you have to provide the danger seed to start it off, so you should get gifts too.
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That's a good point.
Man shower time!
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Well, I plan on having a bunch of dudes over and actually just hoping into the shower with them. All at once. At least 20 of us.
Actually, one of my friends mentioned a CONGRATULATIONS ON BEING THE FIRST ADULT IN OUR CIRCLE OF FRIENDS party. Kind of sad.
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your life is so eventful!!!
grats man