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General Category => General Talk => Topic started by: Carrion Crow on December 02, 2007, 02:55:53 pm

Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: Carrion Crow on December 02, 2007, 02:55:53 pm
How embarrasing would this be?

Link (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7095134.stm)

Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: Moriason on December 02, 2007, 03:05:14 pm
Alright that's pretty fucked up but ILLEGAL?

If the guy wants to fuck his bike let him, who is it hurting?
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: AdderallApocalypse on December 02, 2007, 03:28:52 pm
This is pretty stupid. I mean it is weird to do something like that, but three years on probation and a sex offender? Now that is flat out hypocritical.
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: Fatboys #4 on December 02, 2007, 04:21:53 pm
Atleast it's a bicycle and not a little boy or something, but I guess it's always the bicycle that gets you caught and not the little boys.
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: Mince Wobley on December 02, 2007, 04:45:15 pm
I've seen this already I don't remember where

Why are bicycle lovers so stigmatized after all??
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: Ghost_Aspergers on December 02, 2007, 05:07:36 pm
I've seen this already I don't remember where

I have the same feeling too.

Quote
Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for three years.

I don't remember this though. What the fuck? They just ruined the man's life by putting him on the black list for getting off on a bike? How is that justice...
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: dom on December 02, 2007, 05:20:55 pm
I've seen this already I don't remember where

Why are bicycle lovers so stigmatized after all??
probably two weeks ago when this story wasn't old
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: Bill Murray on December 02, 2007, 05:27:10 pm
Wow. I'm impressed that he even found a way to do it.
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: Moriason on December 02, 2007, 06:26:05 pm
probably two weeks ago when this story wasn't old

christ dude chill
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: Parker on December 02, 2007, 07:45:56 pm
I don't get it. They barge in on his room and see him in his room having sex with a bike? How is it this guys fault?
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: Ayolark on December 02, 2007, 09:26:28 pm
I just don't understand how this was illegal....was he doing it in the public view?  Was the bike considered a minor?  Did the bike not offer consent to the act, or something?  Were the cleaners underage males he specifically called over to watch him, but decided not to answer the door?  How is this much worse than if they just walked in him masturbating?

Well, at least he will live on as a legend...
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: Carrion Crow on December 02, 2007, 10:59:52 pm
Maybe it's because he didn't stop when the cleaners came in. He just kept going. I mean, if it was you or me fucking that bike (that's likely) then you'd prolly stop and go shit shit and cover your family jewels.
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: Christophomicus on December 02, 2007, 11:04:22 pm
Quote from: Chainer
I have the same feeling too.
Ya, I posted it in the tree-man topic because it was on the same page.

This is a pretty hilarious article, but it's ridiculous he gets that much punishment for it.
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: cowardknower on December 02, 2007, 11:10:38 pm
so im a little confused-- bikes arent very HUMPABLE, so was he just having sex AT the bike?
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: Sarah on December 02, 2007, 11:13:32 pm
Yeah seriously. There's no holes for fornication unless he was just letting his dick flop against the spokes and that's really not sex......
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: Zatham on December 02, 2007, 11:24:11 pm
What the hell!? Maybe to you it isn't... but to the rest of us...
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: Mateui on December 02, 2007, 11:25:18 pm
Here's a photo of the poor fella:

(http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/8205/bikesexkv4.jpg)
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: Tatsujinken on December 02, 2007, 11:40:39 pm
This is rape. The man is having sex against the bicycle's will.
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: Kav on December 02, 2007, 11:41:52 pm
I, for one, am glad the law is finally doing something about these sick freaks. For too long they've played out their sick fantasies on innocent bicycles and other vehicles. These vehiclesexuals need to be locked up to keep the rest of society safe as well as our property (ever wonder where your missing bike went to? Yeah.)
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: Grindie on December 03, 2007, 12:15:19 am
What the... how the... I'm speechless.

Who called the police!?
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: Sludgelord on December 03, 2007, 12:24:21 am
actually i read another article that said he did it for like a minute in front of the maids and told them to come over or something. that probably warrants being registered as a sex offender.
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: Marcus on December 03, 2007, 12:40:46 am
I, for one, am glad the law is finally doing something about these sick freaks. For too long they've played out their sick fantasies on innocent bicycles and other vehicles. These vehiclesexuals need to be locked up to keep the rest of society safe as well as our property (ever wonder where your missing bike went to? Yeah.)

This is a very ignorant statement.  You're born vehiclesexual, it's not a choice.  It's people like you that make me vote democrat.
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: cowardknower on December 03, 2007, 12:42:23 am
hmm yeah i was thinking abotu that-- maybe the issue was that he sexually harrassdsad the maids.

This is a very ignorant statement.  You're born vehiclesexual, it's not a choice.  It's people like you that make me vote democrat.

sweet veiled statement brah
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: XxSylverxX on December 03, 2007, 12:45:06 am
bikes are people too.
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: Xeno|Soft on December 03, 2007, 12:49:25 am
This is a very ignorant statement.  You're born vehiclesexual, it's not a choice.  It's people like you that make me vote democrat.

Born with it? niggah please! Even if you are born with it. It is your obligation to keep it undercontrol.

It's people like you that make it hard for me to be a real O.G.
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: Yeaster on December 03, 2007, 01:08:03 am
Well, that was a waste of time.

Clearly, this guy was a huge threat to society.
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: ATARI on December 03, 2007, 02:00:00 am
I don't want him touching my bicycle.
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: Sarah on December 03, 2007, 02:22:52 am
Hey atari can I borrow your bike???
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: Ghost_Aspergers on December 03, 2007, 04:58:54 am
actually i read another article that said he did it for like a minute in front of the maids and told them to come over or something. that probably warrants being registered as a sex offender.

This would make a lot more sense.
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: Ragnar on December 03, 2007, 05:28:38 am
If it wasn't a ladie's bike he is so gay
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: headphonics on December 03, 2007, 05:30:06 am
actually i read another article that said he did it for like a minute in front of the maids and told them to come over or something. that probably warrants being registered as a sex offender.
how, dude?  like, he was in his room (or what was, at the time, his room), so there's no real grounds for saying he was offending or harassing anyone i don't think.  that makes it slightly less fucked up, but it's still fucked up to label someone as a sex offender for saying HEH HEY BABY COME ON OVER when they forcefully enter his room without his consent while he's having sex!  sure, he was having sex with a bike and not a person, but i don't really think that should have any bearing on anything.  it's not illegal to fuck a bike, so he really might as well have been masturbating.  like, aside from that being a pretty lightweight comment, i don't really see how they can justify forcing him to register as a sex offender for saying something sleazy and not stopping when someone burst into his room without permission while he was having sex.  if i was having sex in a hotel and someone entered my room, and i didn't stop and said something dumb like COME ON IN BABY... THE WATER'S FINE, would i be a sex offender too?


anyway this is dumb/silly and who cares, but honestly, it is going overboard to even do a goddamn thing about this besides maybe say "hey please don't do that in our fucking hostel buddy," let alone label him as a sex offender over something so benign and insignificant.  that's not a label anyone takes lightly, and not only is it humiliating to have and to have to tell people about, but most people probably won't look at him with any less fright/contempt when he tries to explain how he doesn't technically deserve the title and isn't some kind of crazy pedophile.  i feel kind of bad for him!
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: HL on December 03, 2007, 06:14:29 am
like, aside from that being a pretty lightweight comment, i don't really see how they can justify forcing him to register as a sex offender for saying something sleazy and not stopping when someone burst into his room without permission while he was having sex.  if i was having sex in a hotel and someone entered my room, and i didn't stop and said something dumb like COME ON IN BABY... THE WATER'S FINE, would i be a sex offender too?

No, probably not, but that is sexual harassment.
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: headphonics on December 03, 2007, 06:55:05 am
No, probably not, but that is sexual harassment.

uh, sexual harassment is largely dependent upon the context in which it occurs.  it's dumb and incredibly narrow-minded to say that simply because something would be considered harassment if you said it to a random co-worker or a passing woman on the street, it's harassment in any other situation, especially when you know absolutely nothing about the tone or manner in which it was said.  basically i am saying that only an idiot would look at this and consider it a genuine case of sexual harassment, both in intent and execution.
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: HL on December 03, 2007, 07:33:44 am
uh, sexual harassment is largely dependent upon the context in which it occurs.  it's dumb and incredibly narrow-minded to say that simply because something would be considered harassment if you said it to a random co-worker or a passing woman on the street, it's harassment in any other situation, especially when you know absolutely nothing about the tone or manner in which it was said.  basically i am saying that only an idiot would look at this and consider it a genuine case of sexual harassment, both in intent and execution.

I get that, but in the example you provided you said "someone", I was assuming it was some random girl, in which case it would most likely be sexual harassment.

Unless if the girl was totally into it but thats not very likely. It also largely depends on how the woman in question takes how you say it, etc. I was just saying most likely though. I understand the ramifications of how it could/couldn't be sexual harassment!

In this guy's case however, I do find it outrageous he is classified as a sexual offender. Thats a bit...weird. And life ruining.
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: YummyDrumsticks on December 03, 2007, 08:34:46 am
I've seen this already I don't remember where

Why are bicycle lovers so stigmatized after all??


Probably on the DarwinAwards site.
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: SW on December 03, 2007, 09:35:18 am
I've seen this already I don't remember where

Why are bicycle lovers so stigmatized after all??

From here ?
http://secure.leasticoulddo.com/store/product.php?productid=16160&cat=0&page=1

The webcomic have that joke once (and thus, they make that shirt), and although I am not sure, I think that was before this incident (and the writer also used to put this story on his comments I.. think.)
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: Mince Wobley on December 03, 2007, 03:10:01 pm

Probably on the DarwinAwards site.

From here ?
http://secure.leasticoulddo.com/store/product.php?productid=16160&cat=0&page=1

The webcomic have that joke once (and thus, they make that shirt), and although I am not sure, I think that was before this incident (and the writer also used to put this story on his comments I.. think.)


No no no, now I remember, it was exactly that same BBC site, when the topic of the tree-man was first posted
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: The Ghost on December 03, 2007, 03:32:43 pm
Your a genius Inri.

How did you become so smart!

NM, I know your secret you crazy cross dresser you  :fogetbackflip:​.

Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: Camlon on December 03, 2007, 04:11:40 pm
Remember that he was sentenced three years on probation. He was not sentenced to three years in prison. Probation only means that he has to behave well to not end up in prison. He has done this severall times before and he was making loud noises in a hotel probably at night. He has also got severall complaints from milk delivers who have seen him doing the act. Therefoere I don't think it was that bad and there's a lot of worse cases.
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: chanicakes on December 03, 2007, 04:28:12 pm
My dogs rides the bike like it's been around the block a million times... now beasty-cycle is not pretty.
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: kentona on December 03, 2007, 04:45:17 pm
So, was it like the village bicycle?
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: JJ on December 03, 2007, 06:33:46 pm
If you're allowed to have sex in a car you should be allowed to have sex on/with a bicycle - better for the environment.
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: Raimiette on December 03, 2007, 06:38:37 pm
All I want to know is HOW he was having sex with the bike.  I can't imagine there would be any places a normal man would want to cram his penis into on a bike...I'm seriously confused.
Title: Bicycle Sex
Post by: Evangel on December 04, 2007, 05:11:21 am
his charges were probably based more on the fact that he was doing some fucked up shit in front of the maids rather than the fact that it involved a bike.  he should have left a "do not disturb" sign, told them to fuck off, or something before they came in to see his raging hard-on or whatever unholy thing he was doing.  chances are, he wanted them to see it.