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Archives => GW Blog => Community Content => Blog: Community => Topic started by: Artis Leon Ivey Jr on March 09, 2008, 06:43:29 pm
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As you know Japan essentially has only two exports; shit that seems like it comes from the future, and objects that at some point will depict an school girl being molested by various items (which can include but are not limited to tentacles, (http://www.tentacle-hentai.com/xxx/ii/06.jpg) water, (http://www.sefuart.net/requests/Katara2-3.jpg) hammers (http://www.sefuart.net/requests/Winry.jpg), Wii remotes, (http://www.sefuart.net/requests/NamiWiimote.jpg) and for Doktormartini, raw food (http://bp0.blogger.com/_ncknQKl2ZOo/RvzOXmVoPCI/AAAAAAAAAPw/rkflrwbNHj0/s320/ayatsuri-ningyou-03.jpg)). As a result, it's kind of embarassing to like anything Japanese, since you might fall into that subculture we call japfag. Despite the homophobia of the portmanteau, it's pretty much the worst insult possible. They call themselves otaku and watch subbed anime (and they have opinions about subs vs dubs) and generally are wastes of air.
However, there are a few things that this subculture includes that aren't completely awful, and as a result should be acknowledged. Here are the top five j-faggy things that you might be embarassed to be caught doing or watching or whatevering but are still cool.
5. Bubble Tea
(http://www.gamingw.net/pubaccess/57278/bubble_tea301001.jpg)
In a world where everything is organic, all natural, and cruelty free and all chickens are killed by piping in soft jazz while stern photos of black men play in a slideshow, it's nice to see something buck the trend. Bubble tea, or boba tea, seems like it's made out of melted plastic and candy and tastes like it too. It works as follows; first you pick either bubble green tea, regular tea, milk, or snow (which is an icee), then you pick your flavor that you wanna mix with it (including such great stuff as lychee, and shit like durian, which is basically the Hitler of fruit), and then you pick your bottom stuff, which can be these little plasticy tapioca balls or green or red jelly. Then you stab the cover with a giant straw and suck it all up. I didn't make any of this up, that's really what you do.
Bubble tea is so great. It tastes like shit usually but occasionally you can figure out something great. The only downside, other than the amount of anime fans in the store, is that you look twelve because it's impossible to look cool while drinking it. I saw a pimp walking down Hillsborough Street with one of his hookers and he looked at me with a sneer and it was the worst feeling in the world.
Anyways, it's only like 3.50 or so, make an expedition and get one! Don't eat beforehand because they are kind of filling.
4. Cornelius
Unlike other Japanese bands or artists like Boris, Isao Tomita, or the Flower Travelling Band, Cornelius is still pretty essentially japanese and j-fags tend to like them, probably because they don't have long chugging guitar lines. It's too bad because they aren't a bad group at all unlike most of Japan's musical scene, and put on one hell of a show (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPEPadHHOzc). The group has a pretty big discography, even if it's apparently one guy, who was part of Shibuya-kei. I don't know what that means, but I know Chef loves it, which is never a good sign when it comes to Japanese shit.
He's also a cool guy who supports independent music and you can hear a song here (http://creativecommons.org/wired/) that's available for free use under Creative Commons. He's too good to be related to j-fag shit but he is, so nobody scores!
3. Akira Kurosawa
Fuck, he's so cool. Kurosawa is probably one of the best directors of all time and for good reason. Rashomon is still shown to film students for good reason. Without Kurosawa, there would be no Darth Vader, no Sergio Leone, no Magnificent Seven. It's too bad J-fags like him because he's so fucking awesome and shouldn't be associated with the neckbeard samurai with their authentic hanzo steel. Everyone should at least watch Ran, Rashomon, and the Seven Samurai, if not more. One of the most fantastic directors ever and I can't even think of a joke to make because he's too cool for that shit.
2. Suda 51
Suda 51 fucking hates gamers. He makes the world's most unplayable games and his latest game featured a nerd who loves anime and who is such a stereotype that he kills dudes with a beam katana and buys anime gear and basically sucks at life constantly. That's why he's so great, even if he is a stylized douchebag I guess.
It's refreshing not to to play a game where everything is epic as shit and is instead about how much he hates you. Suda haaaaaaaaatttteeessss you.
Fun fact: the final boss of Killer 7 is defeated by shooting it in its brightly colored dick.
1. Mindgame
Probably the best animated film ever. Oh god. I don't even want to write more about it because I feel like it would ruin how great this movie is. I can't believe people watch Naruto instead of this. I would watch Mindgame a thousand times before watching another episode of Naruto. I would also probably suck on a knife before watching Naruto again.
FUCK THIS RULES.
What do you like that comes from Japan??? If it's not on this list chances are that it is garbage. If you disagree, feel free to post about it. And if you watched Mindgame give yourself a fucking pat on the back because it's so fucking good!!!!!! I MADE THIS ENTIRE ARTICLE FOR BUBBLE TEA AND MINDGAME!!!
also yes, some of this isn't japanese (Mindgame and bubble tea), but it's part of the otaku subculture so.
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i'm watching it based on bort's and i think your reccommendation: paranoia agent. i'm seven episodes into it and apart from episode six so far it has been excellent. and episode six wasn't even really that bad, it was taking the piss out of video games, but i just felt like i'd seen it before. so that has been cool so far.
also i like killer 7 a lot.
i'll get mindgame.
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earlier today I saw a porno where the guy had the wiimote strapped to his dick and he and this girl were playing wiisports naked
he was better at wiitennis with his dick than I am with my hands
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paranoia agent is good too but it's on adultswim now and has firmly entrenched itself into japfaggery so I really didn't want to use it.
also I feel twelve every time I write j-fag we need a new word.
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Well, I hate most shit Japanese but I love;
Hideo Kojima: This guy makes the most epic games ever. They're so realistic yet fictional, all mixed into a package that doesn't end up being sappy bullshit.
Suda 51: Same reason you guys said.
Hiroyuki Sanada: One of the most badass Asian actors ever. Plus he was in TWILIGHT SAMURAI.
Takeshi Kitano: A great film director and actor. He has a really great slow paced style and just looks cool.
Ryuhei Kitamura: One of my favorites directors. Takes action genre to new heights.
Yoji Yamada: Directed Twilight Samurai.
Akira Kurosawa: 'Nuff said.
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bort please post hideobreast.jpg.
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bort please post hideobreast.jpg.
Why not post the whole Metal Gear Saga Vol. 1 clip so that you understand the image in the context of Metal Gear.
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I'm guessing you mean those vending machines with panties still saturated in the scent of fresh schoolgirl ass. I just imagine some creep walking up to one, inserting some Yen, sticking his nose in the underwear, taking a huge whiff, and saying "ahhhh, dat hits de spot..!"
Then, of course, he wears them to work the next day.
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quit raggin on japan for being appealling to sad guys who want to escape their lives
and quit saying fag all the time
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(http://www.gamingw.net/pubaccess/46827/supkojima.jpg)
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I know a woman who's a serious japfag who only gets off on asian/eastern looking guys. She's very condescending about it too.
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is there a list of nationwide vendors that sell bubble tea and where can i find a location where it will be served to me by large-breasted asian girls wearing bras and panties and giving me j-peace signs
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I don't know if they have a chain, a store opened up on the school's main street which is where I've been having it. a lot of asian stores have it!
http://www.bubbleteasupply.com/index.php?page=recipes.html you can try this if you're crazy.
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While in Singapore I came across a "gang fight" by a group of Japanese kids and Pakistani kids (both of which are pretty sizeable minority in the city). Now fighting in a clean country like Singapore usually ends up in an old fashioned parley where both sides line up on the streets and jone each other until the cops swing by with their gay billy clubs, but it really is a sight to behold a group of 18 year old kids practically rapping to each other in indecipherable languages and broken english.
Now in Hong Kong, which I've been to a few dozen times, Japanese people are almost universally hated especially Japanese businessmen. I guess this is what they get for hating on Chinese nationals who are the equivalent in Japan of poor Mexican college students in America.
Seriously, native Japanese people are the most secular racist assholes in the world. Every time I come across a japfag who's like "ZOMG WANNA MOVE TO JAPAN ^-^" I tell them you'll be largely ignored and hated unless you've got money.
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what when did this become cracked.com
title should be "the five most blah blah blah"
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okay changing title for roman.
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This is gay. There is no mention of the Mother/ Earthbound series anywhere... the greatest J anything ever.
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Concerning tapioca pearls in Bubble Tea:
http://The consistency of tapioca pearls are somewhere between jell-o and chewing gum. They are the size of a marble. They are also known as the "boba" drink in Western China because it is described as to having the same texture as the female breasts.
I don't understand, it's just flavored tea? It looks like an icee to me.
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bubble tea is from hong kong not japan btw
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When it comes to people placing laurels on Japanese pop culture, I suddenly find myself thinking that maybe Truman should've dropped some more bombs.
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This is gay. There is no mention of the Mother/ Earthbound series anywhere... the greatest J anything ever.
I tried to avoid older stuff, except for Kurosawa who rules.
Concerning tapioca pearls in Bubble Tea:
I don't understand, it's just flavored tea? It looks like an icee to me.
no.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMW3uqvOROk
bubble tea is from hong kong not japan btw
said this at the end!
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well that totally turned out to be nsfw...
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#1 boris
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Who is Elliot he looks like a bum.
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#1 boris
boris is now white indie because of pitchfork its not japanese anymore.
Who is Elliot he looks like a bum.
what.
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The only downside, other than the amount of anime fans in the store, is that you look twelve because it's impossible to look cool while drinking it. I saw a pimp walking down Hillsborough Street with one of his hookers and he looked at me with a sneer and it was the worst feeling in the world.
This totally made my day. Hilarious. :)
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Seriously, native Japanese people are the most secular racist assholes in the world. Every time I come across a japfag who's like "ZOMG WANNA MOVE TO JAPAN ^-^" I tell them you'll be largely ignored and hated unless you've got money.
Yah Japanese culture is truely horrible with shit like that, a lot of the upper class are more than racist but that they must control the world. the whole country's going apeshit over the new laws they're passing (one about teaching Nationalism in schools (WHICH IS NEVER A GOOD SIGN!) and the other about allowing Japan to have a more pro-active military for the first time since WW2) people are getting worried that it's gunna go back to it's racist imperialistic roots. Which is you know totally what we expect from pokemon and hamtaro land!
(Some of their war atrocities seriously make one vomit.)
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Well, whatever peoples opinions of Japan are, in my country, if it doesn't say "Made in Japan", people are less inclined to buy it.
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Well, whatever peoples opinions of Japan are, in my country, if it doesn't say "Made in Japan", people are less inclined to buy it.
It's kind of the opposite here in America tbh.
Like I dunno, I know tons of people who avoid shit if it says MADE IN AMERICA (FREDOM REIGNS HERE)
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isn't that basically what he said
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isn't that basically what he said
im pretty sure he lives in Japan, hence saying people only buy Japan products, whereas I'm saying I see a trend of Americans not wanting to buy American products
its cvompletely the opposite
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im pretty sure he lives in Japan
Nope. Fiji Islands. And some people are dead set. If it's not made in japan, they just won't buy. I know, because I was in sales for 4 years.
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You forget that Japanese porn is pretty hysterical (not porn with real anime characters, porn with real people okay!!!!!)
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oriental dollssssss.
(the porn i mean, not actual dolls).
also i think my girlfriend is turning into a japfag. she's obsessed with japanese people(she thinks they're amazingly cute or something), and knows a lot of useless information about japan. but she hasn't tried learning japanese or anything, doesn't watch anime (except for studio ghibli movies) and rarely reads manga.
what's the verdict.
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oriental dollssssss.
(the porn i mean, not actual dolls).
also i think my girlfriend is turning into a japfag. she's obsessed with japanese people(she thinks they're amazingly cute or something), and knows a lot of useless information about japan. but she hasn't tried learning japanese or anything, doesn't watch anime (except for studio ghibli movies) and rarely reads manga.
what's the verdict.
Has she asked you to fuck her while playing Wii Sports yet?
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i am not at liberty to discuss sex (but no she hasnt).
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i am not at liberty to discuss sex (but no she hasnt).
Then I think you're good because its a proven fact that japfag women can only achieve orgasm if the guy is playing Wii Sports while fucking her.
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Then I think you're good because its a proven fact that japfag women can only achieve orgasm if the guy is playing Wii Sports while fucking her.
what if shes playing pokémon whilst being fingered
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um, you forgot malice mizer (マリス・ミゼル)? you're going to feel like such an asshole when you read this.
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i once knew agirl who liked malice mizer and marillion, felt v.gay
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what if shes playing pokémon whilst being fingered
well you're a japfag just for putting that mark above the e in pokemon, only japfags do that
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i hate anime
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man-o-war wants to issue a correction: an american show heavily based in anime style drawn by an artist who also draws in anime style has nothing to do with japanese fetishism.
The picture you used to give an example of a Japanese export of a girl being molested by water is actually of a character from an American cartoon (Avatar: The Last Airbender) and the artist is American.
Please issue a correction.
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.... even though everything lists it as anime.
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well you're a japfag just for putting that mark above the e in pokemon, only japfags do that
what, all the cool kids put the é in pokémon
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what if shes playing pokémon whilst being fingered
*eaten out
and it was coliseum (this is a very important part of the story because it involve DRAMATIC BATTLES WITH FANS CHEERING i think)
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mind game is good
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what, all the cool kids put the é in pokémon
PkMn damnit
Also Hifana is awesome
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pG5rx_WETCc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRFx9f7-_LU&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-0OSkrQOEI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ds1VafddmNc&feature=related
Oh and nobody mentioned GOEMON Goemon is the shit
Also I need Mind Game now
and it's pretty obvious but sushi lol
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boris is now white indie because of pitchfork its not japanese anymore.
akira kurosawa isnt japanese now old white movie critics like them
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this is true but kurosawa pretty much made samurai and katana shit popular again so that is why he is more japanese culture than boris which is DROOOOOOOOOOOONE.
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i'll be straight as an diamond encrusted dirk: i have heard similiar things like what Kaworu and abm said, apparently Japan is pretty racist and xenophobic from what i heard (this was indirectly told by an exchange student) and read (i recommend a manga called "Barefoot Gen": it's a pretty sad tale of an japanese family during the pre- and post-hiroshima events. Nasty descriptions there.). N
Nice to the tourists but if you try to put your foot to the door... tough luck with the leg man.
oh and koreans were much discriminated during the war, much like chinese.
EDIT goddamn steel, kurosawa... UNAVAIBLE.
and you call yourself a "writer´ . . . . PFFT.
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One of my best friends is half-Japanese and was raised like a Japanese child/can speak Japanese so she's always showing me the SUPERIORITY of Japanese products (but hates anything sexual that comes out and Japan as well as anime and anime culture).
I also have another Japanese friend and she's really against anime and shit too. I don't know, they're both pretty different from what they're stereotyped as.
Also, bubble tea is fucking awesome if you get the right kind. There's a shitload of asian areas here so they're everywhere and most places use really synthetic and shitty tasting powder but once in a while you come across good ones. Unless the chain is really popular it's usually served by really ugly asian chicks.
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Battle Royale and Mother series, and some animes ( i seem to be liking tactical roar lately ^^;)