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General Category => General Talk => Topic started by: Mongoloid on April 03, 2008, 08:25:31 am

Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Mongoloid on April 03, 2008, 08:25:31 am
SO I am looking to keep my roommates out of my milk.

I drink a lot of milk, so I have to keep a gallon as opposed to a pint, and therefore cannot fit in my basement fridge. So I keep it in the kitchen fridge, and my roomates keep fucking drinking it.

My male instincts tell me to put food coloring in it (girls hate off color foods?). Will this do anything to cheapen the milk or make it expire quicker?

I am very interested in learning any fowl tricks to keep my roommates out of my food. And my beer.

ps. don't say "confront them" because it is roommate code that you cannot tell them what they are doing to irritate you.

pps. my roommates are both girls. and i am a man.
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Rye Bread on April 03, 2008, 08:43:24 am
I have never heard of this roommate code.  My apartment is filled with angry yelling daily.
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Frisky SKeleton on April 03, 2008, 08:53:46 am
Buy a pint one week but refill your gallon container with something white and gross and leave it in the fridge.

Hair conditioner would be tops.
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: ThugTears666 on April 03, 2008, 08:55:20 am
Shiiit living with girls huh? Man I'd say the same as Evil Bob screw the roommate code say to them "hey can you guys not drink my milk?" make sure they see you drink out of the bottle. If it happens again tell them you spit in it.
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: helter skelter on April 03, 2008, 09:03:03 am
Fuck this 'room mate code' tell them to stop drinking your milk! Stand up for your rights!
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: UPRC on April 03, 2008, 10:33:15 am
Whenever you need to go take a shit or piss, take the carton with you to the bathroom and drink from it. Nobody would want milk that you drink from the carton and handle when you are doing your dirty business.
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Bondo on April 03, 2008, 10:57:12 am
Food coloring will not degrade the quality of the milk in any way, and as long as you use it sparingly, it will not change the taste.  The expiration date will remain the same.

As long as you don't have a problem with it, anyone would have an aversion to light green milk.  It's an ingenious idea actually.

Alternately, you could obtain your own minifridge to keep in your room.  One large enough to hold a gallon.  If not, buy the half gallons or the quarts, just buy them more frequently.
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: dom on April 03, 2008, 11:40:10 am
tell them not to drink your milk you pussy
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Alexander Morou on April 03, 2008, 12:39:55 pm
Hmm..

You could say 'You can drink my milk, as long as you return the favor'.
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Vellfire on April 03, 2008, 12:41:05 pm
Or if you have the room in your fridge but the shape of a gallon of milk is too big to fit, get several pints and put them in your minifridge.  It means not having to buy them more frequently like some people suggested, but that assumes that you do have the room.

Basically buy as much milk as possible in different shapes (pints, cartons, small bottles, etc) to fill up all available space in your minifridge.
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: ghastly_darklord on April 03, 2008, 02:41:37 pm
Quote
ps. don't say "confront them" because it is roommate code that you cannot tell them what they are doing to irritate you.
hahahahhahahahaha
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: HL on April 03, 2008, 03:11:08 pm
Put it in their hair.





(The milk you perv....)
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Sarah on April 03, 2008, 03:21:42 pm
Personally, I'd go with Climbtree's idea.

More importantly, though, why do you drink so much milk? Milk is so... thick. It leaves a residue in your mouth. It can be refreshing on occasion but I can't imagine anyone drinking a gallon a (week?)
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Artis Leon Ivey Jr on April 03, 2008, 03:44:38 pm
tell them to let you suck a titty for your lost milk.
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Dale Gobbler on April 03, 2008, 03:47:40 pm
Just confront them about it, and don't do anything crazy like KILL YOUR ROOMMATES, because that could get you in some hot water.
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: xanque on April 03, 2008, 03:57:30 pm
Rub your penis all over the rim in front of them.  Oh wait, you'd go to jail for that.

But the drinking straight out of it in front of them thing is a pretty good idea. 

And what the fuck is with the code?  Do they really think that would prevent conflicts, rather than escalate the fuck out of them?
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Luvdisc on April 03, 2008, 04:02:51 pm
Put a lock on the fridge so they cant get in with a big note "DONT TOUCH THE MILK". After the first week, they'll get the hint, and they'll be tired of wwaiting for you to get home so they can eat breakfast/lunch/dinner, and then and only then, wil you unchain the door..

Worked for me when I had room mates and they kept eating my pineapple chunks... Thats my fucking lunch you losers...
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Terin on April 03, 2008, 04:25:03 pm
tell them to let you suck a titty for your lost milk.

I think this is the best suggestion as of yet.

--Terin
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: jamie on April 03, 2008, 04:32:42 pm
if i were your roomates i would be happy to have a guy like you around who i could milk for all he was worth heh he heh
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Kaworu on April 03, 2008, 04:35:35 pm
What're they after your milk for, don't they already have their own?
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: dragonheartman on April 03, 2008, 05:03:25 pm
tell them to let you suck a titty for your lost milk.
I was thinking this.  It'll work quite well. :fogetnaughty:
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Mince Wobley on April 03, 2008, 05:05:47 pm
Write "I spit on my milk" on your milk.

Or stop drinking milk, you're not a baby anymore and you won't have osteoporosis right now if you stop drinking it for a few years.

Or put a sterilized cockroach on your milk.
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Vesper on April 03, 2008, 07:12:18 pm
Personally, I'd go with Climbtree's idea.

More importantly, though, why do you drink so much milk? Milk is so... thick. It leaves a residue in your mouth. It can be refreshing on occasion but I can't imagine anyone drinking a gallon a (week?)

milk is the best thing ever. i probably drink about one and a half gallon a week. so good.

swedes got a tradition of drinking milk though. how fat is american milk btw? i don't see milk as thick at all.
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: hero_bash on April 03, 2008, 07:20:01 pm
eat whatever they put in there too... roommate code
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Marcus on April 03, 2008, 07:22:31 pm
Drop a condom into the milk.  Condoms are sterilized out the packet but I for one would be pretty grossed out seeing a floating rubber inside some milk.

If that doesn't work, threaten them with displacing their girlie things.  I know my sister HATES it when I unwrap her tampons and leave them sitting around the house.
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Mongoloid on April 03, 2008, 07:26:51 pm
Sorry guys, I like milk way too much I guess, I buy a gallon about every 4 days, and eat 1-2 bowls of cereal a day. Plus macaroni, and other foods that require milk.

The code thing is a joke, obviously this wouldn't be much of a topic if I just said "My roommates keep stealing my milk and I'm going to confront them right now."

My favorite idea is taking the jug with me into the bathroom. If they saw me do it, they seriously wouldn't even ask. They would just not drink anymore. I'll probably try the food dye first though. Just to be different.
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: EvilDemonCreature on April 03, 2008, 08:39:42 pm
Just take a sharpie and label the carton: "Masturbation Jug".

They won't be able to figure out for the life of them why it's called that, but they'll stop drinking from it.
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: something bizarre and impractical on April 03, 2008, 09:10:10 pm
why aren't you guys having milk orgies you're so gay
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: RPGer on April 03, 2008, 09:36:24 pm
why aren't you guys having milk orgies you're so gay
Of course. This is so obvious. He doesn`t fuck everything with tits and therefor, he must be gay.

Thanks man you really opened my eyes on this one.
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Dave on April 03, 2008, 09:47:51 pm
tell them its milk comes from your penis
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Feldschlacht IV on April 03, 2008, 09:55:53 pm
Tell them to stop drinking your milk.
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: something bizarre and impractical on April 03, 2008, 10:16:20 pm
Of course. This is so obvious. He doesn`t fuck everything with tits and therefor, he must be gay.

Thanks man you really opened my eyes on this one.
ahahahahahahaha

please be serious

no, actually please be joking.

I'm of a mixed opinion on your reaction.

btw, you should throw chunks of yogurt into your milk.
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Sarah on April 03, 2008, 10:38:49 pm
Just take a sharpie and label the carton: "Masturbation Jug".

They won't be able to figure out for the life of them why it's called that, but they'll stop drinking from it.
I am pretty amazed by this statement.

MASTURBATION JUG? I DON'T GET IT BECAUSE I AM A WOMAN/SOMEONE WHO HAS NO IDEA ABOUT ANYTHING AT ALL???
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: something bizarre and impractical on April 03, 2008, 10:52:47 pm
I am pretty amazed by this statement.

MASTURBATION JUG? I DON'T GET IT BECAUSE I AM A WOMAN/SOMEONE WHO HAS NO IDEA ABOUT ANYTHING AT ALL???

same thing???


Also it is common human nature to never question anything ever no matter how strange or awkward it is and to avoid it and not drink from it and never speak of it ever ever
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: ThugTears666 on April 03, 2008, 10:56:29 pm
I am pretty amazed by this statement.

MASTURBATION JUG? I DON'T GET IT BECAUSE I AM A WOMAN/SOMEONE WHO HAS NO IDEA ABOUT ANYTHING AT ALL???


I think the reason is nothing to do with that, I think he means they will wonder does he use the jug to masturbate? Does he just have it when he masturbates or does he wank into it or what? I personally wouldnt go near a jug with that written on it. Not because they are female but because WHO GOES A DRINKS FROM A JUG WITH THAT ON IT
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Frankie on April 03, 2008, 11:30:34 pm
"Man, id sure kill anyone who drank from my jug of milk." is a good line to throw out there at supper time. Then you glance up at them...


"its... its my milk..."
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: something bizarre and impractical on April 03, 2008, 11:35:50 pm
"Man, id sure kill anyone who drank from my jug of milk." is a good line to throw out there at supper time. Then you glance up at them...


"its... its my milk..."
ahahahahahaha yes
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Lars on April 03, 2008, 11:37:12 pm
each time you notice someone's drinken from your milk, buy a couple of pig kidneys, place them (bloody) on a plate in the middle of the living room (on a table?) with a note: THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING

and a bloody knife should lie next to that

at least that's what i would do
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Ghost_Aspergers on April 03, 2008, 11:40:10 pm
Personally, I'd go with Climbtree's idea.

More importantly, though, why do you drink so much milk? Milk is so... thick. It leaves a residue in your mouth. It can be refreshing on occasion but I can't imagine anyone drinking a gallon a (week?)

Eh? I go for two cups of milk whenever I don't feel like/ have the time to have breakfast or lunch.... so I can see why he would do this.
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Luvdisc on April 04, 2008, 12:09:55 am
I still think you should lock the fridge for a few days...

I swear to you, it'll teach your Room Mates a lesson...
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Mongoloid on April 04, 2008, 04:45:43 am
I can't leave bloody kidneys in the room because the dog (whom i hate) will eat them, and my trickery will go unheeded.



also, the masturbation jug thing is a pretty bad idea, cause not only will I too be grossed out, but when I have a girl over and she finds it in the fridge i will look like a dumbass/sickmotherfucker.
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: HL on April 04, 2008, 04:47:40 am
also, the masturbation jug thing is a pretty bad idea, cause not only will I too be grossed out, but when I have a girl over and she finds it in the fridge i will look like a dumbass/sickmotherfucker.
|

no dude maybe she wants to drink your cum how is this bad idea?????





(i felt horrible typing that  :fogetsad: )
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Randy Moist on April 04, 2008, 05:00:24 am
I really like the suggestion of subtle references during meals about how dear milk is to you. Sort of a passive aggressive approach to make them feel shitty. Oh and building off of Climbtree's suggestion put Goat milk in an empty carton.

Tell them to stop drinking your milk.
This post is funny when I remembered you made a topic whining about how poor general is. And yet you make a generic, repetitive reply to which Eric replied directly to with "Yea, but that would be a shitty topic". I'm applauding furiously!
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: ase on April 04, 2008, 05:10:17 am
.
This post is funny when I remembered you made a topic whining about how poor general is. And yet you make a generic, repetitive reply to which Eric replied directly to with "Yea, but that would be a shitty topic". I'm applauding furiously!
yo this is a callout

[CALLOUT]

shit is goin down tonight everyone gather round. 1 pence for you commoners who want to stand in the pit, 4 pence for gallery seats
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Vellfire on April 04, 2008, 12:45:48 pm
just write SHITTING DICK NIPPLES on it, it doesn't imply the jug is involved but it's equally disgusting
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: chanicakes on April 04, 2008, 10:24:01 pm
SO I am looking to keep my roommates out of my milk.

I drink a lot of milk, so I have to keep a gallon as opposed to a pint, and therefore cannot fit in my basement fridge. So I keep it in the kitchen fridge, and my roomates keep fucking drinking it.

My male instincts tell me to put food coloring in it (girls hate off color foods?). Will this do anything to cheapen the milk or make it expire quicker?

I am very interested in learning any fowl tricks to keep my roommates out of my food. And my beer.

ps. don't say "confront them" because it is roommate code that you cannot tell them what they are doing to irritate you.

pps. my roommates are both girls. and i am a man.

Tell them for each litre they drink of your milk, they need to drink a tsp of your sperm... that should stop them.

Or go the normal way and buy in smaller containers but multiple... even if it's like 1 buck more to buy 4 1L instead of 1 4L it will keep them out of it.
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Bunsen.05 on April 05, 2008, 12:04:44 am
Question: Is this mythical "Roommate Code" you speak of something you have discussed with them or is that just some rhubarb that someone told you about?

I live with two girls and I really don't see how asking them politely not to drink your milk is a bad way to go? Do you guys share all you're foodstuffs, none at all, some complicated arrangement that you have? Because if you guys share food (like us, we just all do one big grocery shop together) then I reckon you're being a dick about the milk, but if you guys do buy your own food you have a legit point.

In conclusion: If you share groceries, youre being a nonce. If you don't share, just ask them politely to stop drinking your milk (or maybe just not so much of it).

Here endeth the lesson.
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Frisky SKeleton on April 05, 2008, 12:38:00 am
what you could do is tip your fridge on its side and pour the milk into it, like a bathrub. that way you can keep it in your room
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: GoombaStalker on April 05, 2008, 07:46:00 am
the two i like best so far..

A - Lock the milk up
B - they drink the milk they need to drink yours
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Bobberticus on April 05, 2008, 06:27:34 pm
So um, to this point it's unclear, did you ever just tell them "HEY DONT DRINK MY MILK"?
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: big ass skelly on April 05, 2008, 08:25:40 pm
They probably think you bought that much milk intending for them to have some.

You know because that is a lot of milk for a person
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: dom on April 05, 2008, 09:12:40 pm
This post is funny when I remembered you made a topic whining about how poor general is. And yet you make a generic, repetitive reply to which Eric replied directly to with "Yea, but that would be a shitty topic". I'm applauding furiously!
the topic is already shitty dude

nobody cares that you can't handle roommates eating your food because you have no idea how to live without your mom holding your hand

this is not the way to a better forum


by the way, passive aggressiveness is also known as "being that guy nobody likes because he's fucking weird"
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: HL on April 05, 2008, 09:15:31 pm
Quote
Tell them for each litre they drink of your milk, they need to drink a tsp of your sperm... that should stop them.

This is a really good suggestion Eric, and since she is a girl, and you're dealing with girls, her suggestion has more power and intent, and you should go with it basically.
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Lord Kamina on April 05, 2008, 09:20:41 pm
Now I wonder...

You DO know that milk in fact causes osteoporosis and is about 50% pus, right?
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: AdderallApocalypse on April 05, 2008, 09:24:35 pm
Put some x-lax or a lot of fiber in the milk, that should teach them a lesson.


I am serious, by the way.
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: dom on April 05, 2008, 09:36:10 pm
Now I wonder...

You DO know that milk in fact causes osteoporosis and is about 50% pus, right?

yeah but milk is delicious
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: ATARI on April 05, 2008, 09:38:08 pm
just label the jug with "Your Name - Don't Drink Please" would be enough. 
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Feldschlacht IV on April 05, 2008, 11:11:31 pm
But seriously, assuming you haven't already, the best answer that anyone could possibly give you is to maturely tell your roommates to stop drinking your milk. There's really no better advice than that.
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: something bizarre and impractical on April 05, 2008, 11:15:41 pm
Everyone ruined this topic gj guys
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Dave on April 05, 2008, 11:19:22 pm
Everyone ruined this topic gj guys

This topic was wrong ruined before it was even created. GW style!
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Frisky SKeleton on April 05, 2008, 11:31:29 pm
Now I wonder...

You DO know that milk in fact causes osteoporosis and is about 50% pus, right?


what?
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: something bizarre and impractical on April 05, 2008, 11:57:02 pm
what?
Don't listen to him climbtree he's jacked up on The Corporation and leftwing literature.

(Actually I'd like to see more sources about this PUS thing because I've heard it before, but I mean 50%?)
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Marcus on April 06, 2008, 12:08:04 am
People also don't get enough calcium in their diets (ESPECIALLY women) so I recommend milk as a nice alternative to sugary juices and sodas.

It's also fun to experiment with a variety of milks like soy and rice milk.
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: dom on April 06, 2008, 11:45:50 am
Don't listen to him climbtree he's jacked up on The Corporation and leftwing literature.

(Actually I'd like to see more sources about this PUS thing because I've heard it before, but I mean 50%?)
the pus thing is pretty much bullshit as far as i'm aware although i believe that he's right about milk increasing the chance of getting osteoporosis
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: big ass skelly on April 06, 2008, 12:01:03 pm
Yeah but in all honesty who gives a shit?
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: #1 Vodka fan on April 06, 2008, 12:01:51 pm
Milk is awesome if you are working out. Btw are your roomates hot?
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Aten on April 06, 2008, 12:10:44 pm
Milk is awesome if you are working out. Btw are your roomates hot?

He doesn't want to share his milk with them, so I'm guessing no.

PS

just label the jug with "Your Name - Don't Drink Please" would be enough. 

This would be the logical thing to do, but I guess some people just aren't logical  :fogetsmile:
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Vellfire on April 06, 2008, 12:55:33 pm
Yeah yeah, milk is pus, yogurt is bacteria, and hotdogs are donkey lips and thighs.  We eat gross things every day.

edit: this wasn't me saying these things are NOT TRUE, this was me saying that no one cares if they're true
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: PTizzle on April 06, 2008, 01:50:14 pm
just label the jug with "Your Name - Don't Drink Please" would be enough. 


This is the smartest suggestion.

Seriously though, this thread is fucking quality.
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Lord Kamina on April 06, 2008, 02:44:25 pm
About the pus shit...
.
.
.

/sarcasm

Milk is about as healthy as it gets. You really need the calcium, especially when you know that your body is constantly consuming calcium, both metabolically, in shit like muscle contraction as it is in producing bones. The skeleton is CONSTANTLY being destroyed and renewed. And it's said that in a healthy young person, the skeleton is completely renewed every 10 years or so.

(I was just playing a little Doktor but nobody seemed to catch it)
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Frisky SKeleton on April 06, 2008, 02:59:04 pm
i didn't know you were joking and was about to hit you up on it

i have another idea: what if you kept all your milk in coke bottles? milk in a coke bottle would look gross.
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: goldenratio on April 06, 2008, 05:03:44 pm
if only you could make them go PSSHT when you opened them. That'd be ultimately creepy.
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: ATARI on April 06, 2008, 07:29:28 pm
pretty much all the sensible suggestions have been given so tell us about how hot the roommates are
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: FQGamer on April 06, 2008, 07:45:56 pm
Quote


pps. my roommates are both girls. and i am a man.

come and knock on our door...
we've been waiting for you....
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Frisky SKeleton on April 06, 2008, 08:18:38 pm
they are ugly girls if they are drinking enough milk to really make a difference.

oh i've got a good one, curl up a black wire or something so it looks like a pube and leave it floating in there.
or you could just put a pube in there.
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Shinpokomon on April 06, 2008, 09:20:09 pm
Pour your milk into an ice-cube tray and freeze it, then you can hide your compact milk-cubes.
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Frisky SKeleton on April 06, 2008, 10:08:25 pm
drill a hole into a watermelon, fill it full of milk and let it absorb as much milk as you can. then, when you want some milk, just eat the watermelon!
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: goat on April 07, 2008, 01:23:19 am
Let them catch you sticking your dick inside the milk carton hole, they will never drink out of it again.
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Shinpokomon on April 07, 2008, 04:45:54 am
Pour some ipecac into your milk and let the problem solve itself.

*Disclaimer* I don't condone this course of action
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: Mongoloid on April 07, 2008, 07:14:37 am
climbtree wins with the only good ideas in this topic. the coke bottle thing is genius, just because it would be so awesome to have coke bottles full of milk.

they are actually pretty hot, one is asian, and the other is a little thick, but still pretty fine. problem is, theyre churchies, and not only do they drink my milk, but they are do not do their dishes.

seriously there is a ridiculous number of people saying "tell them to stop," though. I guess i should be completely clear with my posts from now on.
Title: Die Roommates!
Post by: dom on April 07, 2008, 09:55:08 am
climbtree wins with the only good ideas in this topic. the coke bottle thing is genius, just because it would be so awesome to have coke bottles full of milk.

they are actually pretty hot, one is asian, and the other is a little thick, but still pretty fine. problem is, theyre churchies, and not only do they drink my milk, but they are do not do their dishes.

seriously there is a ridiculous number of people saying "tell them to stop," though. I guess i should be completely clear with my posts from now on.
sorry what

why is them being "churchies" a bad thing

what the fuck