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General Category => General Talk => Topic started by: Master of None on August 03, 2008, 07:41:30 am

Title: Weird Friggin' Jobs
Post by: Master of None on August 03, 2008, 07:41:30 am
As one of the many folks stuck in Work Limbo... somewhere between some awesome career, and working odd jobs at restaurants and retail stores, I've been looking for new and exciting jobs to help break the monotony of the same old service industry crap. Granted this usually means getting a job at a store that sells something Unusual, or (gasp!) becoming a Manager for the place, but that doesn't really get me closer to where I want to be...

...which is why the email I got from my school councilor about some big job in a Biomedical Lab totally piqued my interest. I mean, I've got half a Biology degree under my belt- shouldn't that get me something more than scanning bar codes for minimum wage? Needless to say, I accepted the offer, and got in touch with the guys to find out just what the job was about. And when I heard it, it just about floored me.

Apparently, they needed someone for the midnight shift to harvest eyes from dead bodies. Dead human bodies.

...yeah.

Organ Donar Processing and Morgue Operations is pretty high up on my list of questionable work.... but its a change of pace, and at over $20 US hourly, it's looking really tempting. I'm still mulling over whether to take it (my ever-insightful roommate's only comment was "That job is so F-ing Metal"), but that offer got me thinking about just how many absolutely friggin' weird jobs must be out there.

And so I come to you, people of GamingWorld.... What's the weirdest job you've ever worked? And have you heard of anything further out there than working midnights picking the eyes out of corpses?


P.S. I'm baaaa-ack.
Title: Weird Friggin' Jobs
Post by: Farren on August 03, 2008, 07:47:42 am
That job is fucking aweosme that is like the best job ever and I am not being sarcastic.

I'm a sailor but it itsn't really that wierd I don't think
Title: Weird Friggin' Jobs
Post by: cowardknower on August 03, 2008, 07:49:49 am
duuuude holy fucking dead morgue people without eyes!  Man you have to take that job.  You have to do it.

<edit> I composed music for my teacher's bullshit homework motivator self help product or something (he quit being a teacher because he is a millionaire or something now).
this guy http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&suggon=0&safe=off&q=Noble+Learning+Systems&btnG=Search .

That is moderately weird I guess.  Nothing really quite as weird as your shit though man, yours is fucking weird.
Title: Weird Friggin' Jobs
Post by: #1 Vodka fan on August 03, 2008, 07:59:00 am
I was selling sex toys via phone calls for 2 months.
Title: Weird Friggin' Jobs
Post by: TFT on August 03, 2008, 08:06:04 am
I had an ex girlfriend who worked in the morgue area before. It's creepy, for reals. Like, she would smell really really weird. She loved it. Some people can do that, while other people can't. I think whatever you do, no matter how gross or creepy, you'll eventually get used to it and treat it like a job(If that's good or bad idk).

I personally wouldn't. She would start treating people like, they weren't people anymore.

Anywho, I think the weirdest place I've ever worked is being a road worker. It's weird because I'm just not phsyically built(very small) to pave roads and stuff.
Title: Weird Friggin' Jobs
Post by: DoctorEars on August 03, 2008, 08:28:21 am
Man take the fucking job. Picking eyes out from dead dudes. That's awesome.

It sounds like it pays well. Kinda hilarious.
Title: Weird Friggin' Jobs
Post by: esp on August 03, 2008, 09:17:23 am
that sounds fucked up. but if you're hurtin' for money go for it!!!

anyway, i work
its like 55 miles off the coast of where i live.
Title: Weird Friggin' Jobs
Post by: Yeaster on August 03, 2008, 10:28:50 am
20 an hour? Take it!!!
Title: Weird Friggin' Jobs
Post by: Mr. Actionist on August 03, 2008, 10:50:19 am
What do they want with dead peoples' eyes, anyway?

Seems like a disgusting job to me...
Title: Weird Friggin' Jobs
Post by: Wash Cycle on August 03, 2008, 02:03:41 pm
heh I have a friend who translates street names into the International Phonetic Language for shit like Garmin and various other in-car navigational systems lol. Its a pretty baked ass linguistics job that he just does on his laptop at his own pace and they pay like a quarter a word so he can make 20 dollars an hour sometimes.

I dont have a particularly weird job though. I'd like to work at a record store if I have to get a job while at school next year... though that seems like a hard job to get cause probably everyone and their mother would like to work at a record store.
Title: Weird Friggin' Jobs
Post by: PTizzle on August 03, 2008, 02:29:46 pm
Quote from: conchfeld on August 03, 2008, 07:49:49 am
duuuude holy fucking dead morgue people without eyes!  Man you have to take that job.  You have to do it.

<edit> I composed music for my teacher's bullshit homework motivator self help product or something (he quit being a teacher because he is a millionaire or something now).
this guy http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&suggon=0&safe=off&q=Noble+Learning+Systems&btnG=Search .

That is moderately weird I guess.  Nothing really quite as weird as your shit though man, yours is fucking weird.

Ordered this at the beginning of January, have contacted numberous times to inquire about when the DVDs are supposed to be shipped. They have sent e-mails 3x saying the order has been shipped. As of April 2nd still no shipment. Have taken 3 withdraws out of my account for a total of almost $200.00. I called and asked for a refund, was told it would be up to 4 days. Still no refund on day 6. They sent me a link to my e-mail to a site to ask for my refund, link does not work. BUYERS BEWARE.

Theresa
South Webster, Ohio
U.S.A.


shit couch he's a con artist



That looks awesome Esh. What exactly do you do on there?
Title: Weird Friggin' Jobs
Post by: Grunthor on August 03, 2008, 02:45:04 pm
Quote from: Patient #14 on August 03, 2008, 10:50:19 am
What do they want with dead peoples' eyes, anyway?

I take it you've never heard of eye transplants before? 
Title: Weird Friggin' Jobs
Post by: Master of None on August 03, 2008, 04:48:04 pm
Actually, a lot of the jobs you don't consider "wierd" are pretty different, and rank high on cool. It's neat to hear about jobs that aren't those run-of-the-mill jobs you pick as kids, like Fireman or Astronaut, or Accounts Payable Representative.

As for what the eyes are for, they're coming from recently deceased organ donars... basically they someone to assess the health of eyes (make sure they're not diseased or messed up) and such, remove them, and preserve them for transplants, experiments on eyes and eye tissues, etc.

And yeah, TFT, having to dehumanize the corpses in order to do the job is something that's holding me back... I mean, I've done dissections before, but never on a human body, and I can look at corpses clinically, but I'm afraid that doing that for too long could make me start to dehumanize living people too. Your old girlfriend liked it though? Was she some kind of übergoth, or was there something actually cool? (I'm anticipating a lot of "Give me a hand here" and "Keep an eye on this for me, would ya?" morgue humor).

Also Esp, I am hurting for money badly, hence why I'm considering it. It's enough to pay off all my debts in a matter of a few months, and would help me get out of the tiny 1 room efficiency I'm living in right now. (BTW, is that an oil rig? That is seriously cool! What do you do? It's got to get a bit lonely out there, but I assume they've got stores and stuff... and of course, the Internets.)

So yeah, basically what this is looking like is that I'm be selling me soul for money. Awesome!
Title: Weird Friggin' Jobs
Post by: Boulvae on August 03, 2008, 06:09:54 pm
Thats not selling your soul, a corpse is a corpse. You can't dehumanize a corpse because it has NO emotions, it doesn't give 2 shits about anything it IS at that point just an object like a rock. You can only humanise a corpse, and by doing that you effectively screw yourself over with how you view the living aswell (because it was previously human). It all depends on your mindset, if you want any tips I suggest nurses they have to deal with the dead AND dieing all the time, they are pretty tough about this so get some advice from them on how to cope with this.

I once had to work cleaning up peoples garbage in ghetto areas, it's pretty wierd being known by everyone as a garbage man for their own crap.
Title: Weird Friggin' Jobs
Post by: thejackyl on August 03, 2008, 06:28:30 pm
As long as you realize there is a difference between a living creature and a corpse, I say grab a spoon, and start shoveling those eyes.
Title: Weird Friggin' Jobs
Post by: datamanc3r on August 04, 2008, 06:24:44 am
My dad used to work in a mortuary. Yeah, it was a two-story mortuary, and he was to look after it for his boss. So he lived on the top story. (Great commute). He'd do stuff ranging from AWESOME to weird, like driving the limo that carries the caskets, or preparing the bodies for embalming/cremation. Heh, once he 'borrowed' a casket and a limo for Halloween, dressing up as Count Dracula. Drove right up to a party and picked up some chicks (I think one of them broke the top of the casket).

Weirdest thing though -- people would STEAL THE BODIES. He would wake up and find them missing. Yeah, not a pleasant feeling. Just imagine what sort of people would steal them (And for what!). Then imagine being asleep while one of them was IN YOUR HOUSE.

Quote from: thejackyl on August 03, 2008, 06:28:30 pm
As long as you realize there is a difference between a living creature and a corpse, I say grab a spoon, and start shoveling those eyes.
Mm mm mm.
Title: Weird Friggin' Jobs
Post by: Frisky SKeleton on August 04, 2008, 09:08:07 am
i used to model for british american tobacco, sort of. from 3.05 to 4.30 every weekday i had to lean against a motorcycle and look cool while smoking. it sounds fairly easy but it's really not, though the pay reflected it ($100 a day and i had to sign a waiver that i couldn't sue them for smoking related damages). doing it for like 15 minutes would be hard enough but trying to keep a cool look, especially when everynow and then kids would come up and pester you was really difficult. i only did it for 2 months which was all you were allowed to do, otherwise you hit every main school enough that people recognise you too easy.

edit: ugh that never happened. i worked at a paintball arena and at an indoor go-karting place. not too unusual
Title: Weird Friggin' Jobs
Post by: esp on August 04, 2008, 09:44:14 am
what do i do...

i'm an instrument technician, so basically i'm involved in the maintenance of the rig.

instruments are measuring/indicating/controlling devices that show the pressure, level, temperature or flow of the oil or gas in the pipeline. there are other sides do it (like from time to time i have to make up small piping skids for hydraulic oil systems etc) but thats what i mainly deal with on  a day to day basis.


thats a temperature transmitter which gives a reading of the temperature both remotely (on the instrument) and sends a signal back to the control room so they can see if it's reading correctly (and if not i go out and calibrate it).

as for getting lonely, it can be, mainly being away from your family and friends for 2 weeks at a time (i do 2 weeks out there, then come back for 2 weeks) but there's good banter on board, everyone's in the same boat, there's a crew of about 60 people. you get everything paid for, full board for food, you get your laundry done, there's a gym and TV suite and a tax-free shop on board. and yeah, they got the internet. it isn't so bad out there, the scariest part is the helicopter flight out 'cause if it ditches you are dead, no question about it. the north sea is like 6 degrees celsius all year round, so you can't stay in it long. you have to wear like a full set of overalls, ear muffs, safety boots/glasses, hard hat, the full works while you're out on the job. believe me, that's uncomfortable when you're working on hot machines on a hot day :P

anyway, i'd rather do this than spoon out the eyeballs of dead people. that shit would creep me out. i hope you've got a strong stomach, cause i don't think i could cope with messing around with dead folks. not to mention they're EYES. i'd go paranoid with DEAD PEOPLE EYES staring at me all day D:
Title: Weird Friggin' Jobs
Post by: Serenity on August 04, 2008, 01:59:26 pm
Rofl, i can just imagine it..

*casual conversation on a date*

"so, what do you do for a living ^_^?"

"I gouge out eyes from dead people all day!"

"lol you're silly.. what do you really do? : D?"

"i'm serious...."

".... *explode*"
Title: Weird Friggin' Jobs
Post by: UPRC on August 04, 2008, 02:07:19 pm
Quote from: Serenity on August 04, 2008, 01:59:26 pm
Rofl, i can just imagine it..

*casual conversation on a date*

"so, what do you do for a living ^_^?"

"I gouge out eyes from dead people all day!"

"lol you're silly.. what do you really do? : D?"

"i'm serious...."

".... *explode*"

It would be even better if he's not referring to his job.
Title: Weird Friggin' Jobs
Post by: Lars on August 04, 2008, 03:19:44 pm
esp is making my country richer

how many norwegians are on there? is english the work language???
Title: Weird Friggin' Jobs
Post by: esp on August 04, 2008, 04:38:11 pm
Quote from: LADIESMAN 282 on August 04, 2008, 03:19:44 pm
esp is making my country richer

how many norwegians are on there? is english the work language???

there's not many norwegians there, i can only think of 2 actually.

aker kvaerner is pretty global, there are a lot of french guys on that rig and a greek guy too who work for kvaerner, as well as me and a few other brits. the rest are employed by the company that owns the rig, a french company called perenco, bar a few (the scaffolders and other monkeys who are employed by CAPE).
Title: Weird Friggin' Jobs
Post by: Bravo on August 04, 2008, 09:10:48 pm
Quote from: conchfeld on August 03, 2008, 07:49:49 am
duuuude holy fucking dead morgue people without eyes!  Man you have to take that job.  You have to do it.
Do it and take pics and vids and post them here. I'm not even joking; I need something to masterbate to. That was a joke. Still though, do the vids.
Title: Weird Friggin' Jobs
Post by: Madolah on August 04, 2008, 09:35:28 pm
My first job, I worked as a Busser at a restaurant and it scared me away from food jobs forever.

So then my next job, I was The Fucking Easter Bunny at one of the local malls here in town! Yes I got paid $9.50 an hour to sit in a suit for 3-4 hours at a time and it was so warm! A very easy job though because it was in the non buzy mall and thus i might ger 5-15 kids a day (One day i worked 4hours and not 1 kid got a picture...  about 2 hours in on my first break, I taped my ipod into my Head and watched Good Luck Chuck.  Another time, Easter Saturday, I had 47 kids get pictures... it was a shitty day) Job was good though because of all the kids there where there where some half hot chicks getting pictures too, one crew even had playboy bunny suits ;)
Title: Weird Friggin' Jobs
Post by: Stadsport on August 07, 2008, 01:04:05 am
My first and current job is at this place http://fascinations.net
Its a pretty fun job, I get to help fix peoples' sex lives and talk about boobs and dicks all day. Not to mention the occasional dance pole demonstration (and believe me I can fucking demo that pole) or sex swing demo (don't tease, just fuck!).

Title: Weird Friggin' Jobs
Post by: Wash Cycle on August 07, 2008, 02:10:45 pm
man I just read some article somewhere about some guy who got convicted of decapitating and raping some chick and he was all like no dude theres no way I just killed her I didn't rape her. Like 20 years later then they ran some dna tests on the semen they found inside her and it actually came from a dude who used to work at the morgue. but that got me thinking... no head... doesnt have to look into any eyes...

taking the eyes out of people at the morgue... maybe this is some crazy scheme by the morgue owners so they can feel more comfortable as they make sweet sweet love to cadavers
Title: Weird Friggin' Jobs
Post by: Zatham on August 12, 2008, 02:44:36 am
This job does sound a lot more interesting than stupid service industry jobs and it is more relevant to your education. And it's a job you could get some satisfaction out of, I hope. ("I harvest eyes for the needy!")
DO EET. DO EET NOW.

As far as "weird jobs" go... shortly after I graduated high school I became an old man's assistant. I just remembered this the other day and started laughing at the randomisity of it all. The old man was an 80 year old WW2 vet who spent a fair amount of time living in the Northwest Territories (Canada). He had mountains of WW2 relics and aboriginal Northwest Territories artifacts in his house and he needed someone to help him catalogue all of the items for resale. So I helped him do that. It was $11/hr, 4 hours a day, and I didn't know what I was doing with my life so it was actually pretty sweet. Boring as Hell most of the time, though. A lot of the time he wouldn't have anything for me to do so he would tell me stories or I'd just draw for four hours. Man that was sweet. I grew to really like him, actually, even though we come from such different worlds *emotional fist shake* [I had to help him donate money to the Conservative party (Canada's watered-down Republicans)—it's like... really?)

He died last Summer which kind of tripped me out.

It was funny because he was such a conservative old man in contrast to me with my multi-coloured hair and crazy earrings. Oh, you young folk. Actually, I have some epic quotes from him. He is hence known as "JHM"

JHM: You're here in good time.
Me: Yep!
JHM: [very ][/very]
JHM: I'm just wondering... when can one comment on another gentleman's earrings?
JHM's Wife: He's changed his hair as well!

JHM: [hands ][/hands]
JHM: Do you know what that is?
Me: [pause] A bird?
JHM: A penis.

(We had a tradition of drinking a luke-warm pepsi on our "15 minute break")
JHM: Drink your pepsi for God's sakes!

JHM: Oh... Fiddlesticks...
JHM: Ah!
JHM: Double fiddlesticks!

JHM: This thing is sh*****tting all over the place like nobody's flipping business...

JHM: It appears that we have made a mistake...
Me: That had better be the royal "we".

JHM: Oh for the love of... 17... blue cats...

JHM: [phone ][/phone] DROP DEAD!
JHM: [picks ][/picks] Good morning!

JHM: JESUS CHRISTMAS CHRIST.

JHM: [to ][/to] No, you needn't check it again, Steven!
JHM: [long ][/long] Who the Hell is Steven?
JHM: I don't even know a Steven.
Title: Weird Friggin' Jobs
Post by: The Dude on August 12, 2008, 09:08:48 am
The weirdest job I've ever had?
I guess the city recycling centre. It was weird that people sorting through trash for a living could act so casually about it. Somedays it stunk to high heaven. There were few short breaks, and it was a continual slog through plastic, trash, paper, etc. I only lasted two months. The endless monotony of it started to eat away at my sanity. Plus I didn't enjoy the chance of glass cuts, glass dust in the eyes, or any other chemical hazard. You'd be surprised what goes in the trash. I mean, ew...