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General Category => Entertainment and Media => Topic started by: ThugTears666 on October 14, 2008, 11:01:17 pm

Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: ThugTears666 on October 14, 2008, 11:01:17 pm
BOOM! VOTING TIME BITCHES

(https://legacy.gamingw.net/etc/sydfish.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/vegetables.jpeg)

RAP BATTLE ROUND THREE: MC DOKTORMARTINI VS MC OMCIFER

GREETINGZ FELLOW THUGS AND WELCOME TO THE THIRD OF THE GW RAP BATTLE TOURNAMENT

Firstly here is a quick recap of the rules and some tips for the public to vote on who is the best:



*EACH COMPETITOR HAS A WEEK TO POST IN THEIR TOPIC OTHERWISE THEY ARE DISQUALIFIED, I WILL PM EACH COMPETITOR A DAY IN ADVANCE TO WARN THEM THAT THEIR ROUND IS COMING UP



LETS GO NIGS!!!!  Members of the public do not post or vote in this topic until each competitor has posted two verses each
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: AdderallApocalypse on October 15, 2008, 12:39:54 am
I'm probably being risky posting first, but anyways.

Get ready...

I'm the real MC, DoktorMartini is just an imitation
My words are going to burn him like pure Capsacin, and my rhymes so good he'll
grab his head and shake it like Metro Station

Martini is done for like a worker in a collapsed coal mine
If MCing was Physics, they'd call me Einstein

This battle is going to consume him, he has to do whatever it takes
This is going to be as easy for me as bakin' cakes, my flow will go through him
like a hot knife through a tub of land-o'-lakes

Afura made the topic and Omcifer will handle the rest, I can conquer
DoktorMartini like a Harvard English Professor does a 1st grade grammar test,
there's a reason that they say i'm the best

I'm crafting superior ways of defeating you, I know how you feel, but what's the
most you can do? Saying I can't beat DoktorMartini is like saying a Japanese
Mathematican can't handle two plus two.

It must be tragic, facing my devastating magic, but it's not close to done yet.
My feet are just getting wet, go ahead and place your bet, and wager that i'm
dissing him worse than mkkmypet.

DoktorMartini, stop taking notes because you're just a wannabe. I've got you
shakin' at the sight of me. You're like cancer on the body of society, and I'm a
superhuman MCing anomaly.

Drop the Morphine, i'm going to end your pain. I'm tide-to-go and you're the juice
stain. I'm a pimp with my cane, and i'll put you to your knees calling me the
mayne.

Everyone is scared when they just look at you, you look like Big Bird with the bird
flu. Your face makes people scared like they are running from a pack of bears,
you're so ugly that you give Freddy Krueger nightmares.

I'll wrap this up but end it on a high note. I hate to be the raging sea while you're
a small paper boat, so i'll end it like that and that's all he wrote. 
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: Doktormartini on October 15, 2008, 01:11:04 am
Sup nigga, ya think you got what it takes?
I'm gonna tear you apart...rip up your face
Make you eat cake
shitty cake that is
can you take my dis, can you eat my shit?
no well fuck I'll make you piss
letssssss gooooooooo

Damn, you just a little bitch
posting on a forum who gives a shit
and the way you speak...you sound feminine
and your battle raps are not the least bit legit
so sit back in yo rocking chair
my vocal chords will make you scared
my illest rhymes for you to hear
shake and shiver just like a queer
first and formost get this outta the way
what the fuck is Omcifer? Damn, that's gay
and why the dude on your avatar?
you think that will make you e-popular?
Your favorite past time, cakefarts I bet
And when you look at tubgirl you get so wet
I'm on a lyrical quest, so don't protest
I'm about to impress...cause I'm the best
Shut yo mouth and listen cause I'll be dissin
making you quirm is my number one mission
my only ambition
is to make you finished

Little bitch my rhymes are better than Shaggy
but I am not as good as da Knight Baggy
he is my friend, till the end and the end
you're just a little faggot, I'll repeat again and again
I'm like a raging fire consuming your soul
Taking your body down through Limbo
Past that to the flames of hell
To mingle with Satan, one and only DEVIL
My horns are growin, say goodbye to my halo
I'm spewing so fast you get no say though
Like a game of scrabble you can't think of a word
In this rap battle no one wants you heard
Shut the fuck up nerd, go play an RPG
While I tear up your ass ferociously
Atrociously I'm gonna subconsciously
Make you cry back to your mommy

The economy is collapsin
and your thinking about rappin
Better prepare for martial law
I mean quit your fappin
Your dick is lapsin
And by God I'm lauging
Oh wait, I forgot, you don't belive in Him
Your one of those motherfucking atheist kids
Where, then, tell me did I come from?
How did I get here?  How did I just own?
God's on my side supplying me with rhymes
Jesus is in my soul, I believe He's divine
Turned water into whine
and your ass into swine
so bad in fact it was forbidden in His time
Oink oink nigga if you eat it you'll die
Now the lesson that's learned bitch you better see
Flip open The Book, John 3:16
Your ass needs savin', at least from me
Cause I'm a warrior of Christ and I fight ferociously
I'm gonna crucify you
Not with nails and the cross
I use my lyrics because I am the boss!

FUCK I GOTTA STEP UP
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: ThugTears666 on October 15, 2008, 01:38:33 am
just a hint for the 2nd part of this battle omcifer, try make it a big snappier so it flows well rather than reads like a poem
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: ThugTears666 on October 15, 2008, 01:39:25 am
this is hilarious btw guys

Cause I'm a warrior of Christ and I fight ferociously
Cause I'm a warrior of Christ and I fight ferociously
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: AdderallApocalypse on October 15, 2008, 03:52:38 pm
All right.

I'm sitting here laughin at your broken ass verse
I freestyle my stuff but 100 times over I see you rehearse
My rhymes come out like a hypnotic wave
And my words so ill they will make Tupac rise from his grave
You have garbage punchlines and plastic similies
I can use your own rhymes to trash you lyrically
Drop your name and alias as Doktor
The real deal is here, the notorious Om-ci-fer

Placing you against me is an unfair fight. The warrior of Christ tries with all his might, he reveals the holy light, but gets slammed into place like a guy with altophobia facing the height
DoktorMartini, being a vegan means absolutely no meat
But that doesnt stop you from working on the corner of the street
You're like a feeble wall and i'm the bomb
I'll make you crash down like a child actor in a failed sitcom
I have everyone mesmerized like a sci fi lover playing a game of x-com

Come on DoktorMartini, come out of the closet and just stop hidin'
See Santa in your avatar? That's your dick he's ridin'
DoktorMartini thinks a herb can make you rise from the dead
If you have any illness take this plant and you'll get out of bed
He says the real doctors are wrong, he must be fucked in his head
Your mom baked me a Goji berry pie
I took one bite and thought I was going to die
If you eat this shit you must constantly be high

You say Jesus can turn water into wine
Work a little magic and turn me into a swine
But no amount of intervention from the divines
Can save us from your dusty metaphors and broken ass lines
Warrior of Christ, fight like you're ferocious
You think you have something going but your shit is so atrocious
Your garbage is longer than Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

I'm so fantastic that I can make time stop, even on a dime drop and
I'm the undisputed king of gaming world hip-hop
Whenever I rap I fill the rappers hearts with joy
DoktorMartini you've got played like a toy
I'm like Eminem but you're the nerdy version of Soulja Boy
Cower in fear and just accept your loss
Crown me as king because i'm the real boss

Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: Doktormartini on October 16, 2008, 12:22:44 am
Shit man, I need to prepare
I'm getting ready for this, you better be scared
lemme go outside rip a root from the ground
When I brew the dandelion tea my rhymes come out
Vitamins and minerals and it's filled with taraxacin
gonna power up my liver and make my rhymes prick the skin
like the needle used to infuse people with insulin
cause their pancreas sucks from all their abusin'
you're losin'
get depressed, start boosin'
all my homies be booin'

Man, you mention all this shit like drugs and diseases
I'm a crazy little man who does as he pleases
And I'm not about to back down cause I got Jesus
Let me lyrically tear you up...rip you to pieces
If you are the Tide, and I am stain
You are also the toilet paper, and my ass is on your face
I'm the antidepressent fucking with your brain
I'm like Vioxx side effects making you insane
If you were a vitamin you'd be vitamin C
and I'm the high heat causing you to deplete
The Catholic Church claims me as a bishop
You're an Alginean and your beliefs are pure shit
Like saying Christ is pure spirit and OT God is evil
We waged crusades against you and all of your people
Because your books and practices were nothing but Heretical

Fucking big bird why you talking that preschool shit
Still need to learn your numbers cause you haven't yet?
And you practice 24/7 counting in your head to ten
Getting so pissed cause you can never reach the end
Well my friend, I'm infusing you with sin
Like the vaccines that fill you with heavy metal toxins
Obey the white lab coat guy with a syringe
If my lyrics don't, for sure he'll make you cringe
Shit you got a problem here take this drug
Side effects:  Shitty rhymes, and no love
Flick on the TV to the Fox News
Do whatever they say cause the government controls you
Shit's so biased
your mental retardation it's the highest
Homies think I'm the flyest
Bow down to me like you were pious
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: ThugTears666 on October 16, 2008, 03:20:15 am
GUYS YOU CAN VOTE NOW

You both did better than I thought you would, Omcifer really stepped it up for the second round and actually used the criticism I provided, good work both of you!
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: Artis Leon Ivey Jr on October 16, 2008, 03:22:44 am
nothing angers me more than white vegan kids using JOKE NIGGAS so congrats my first vote in this entire thing and it's a I DONT EVEN CARE ABOUT THE OTHER GUY AS LONG AS YOU DONT WIN vote.
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: PTizzle on October 16, 2008, 06:03:33 am
This was crazy close but I'm going to give it to Dok by the slightest of margins. Second round you guys both stepped it up - I thought Omcifer had it but Dok's was funnier and flowed better so I've got to give it to him, just.

Points deducted for the lame filler and silly gangsta stuff (you could have worked it to make it funny) in yours Dok, but some of your lines were very solid (especially in the second) and Omcifer's was just a little too all over the place.
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: Lars on October 16, 2008, 10:57:19 am
Quote from: Pidgeotto221 on October 16, 2008, 03:22:44 am
nothing angers me more than white vegan kids using JOKE NIGGAS so congrats my first vote in this entire thing and it's a I DONT EVEN CARE ABOUT THE OTHER GUY AS LONG AS YOU DONT WIN vote.
dok isn't white tho?
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: Artis Leon Ivey Jr on October 16, 2008, 02:55:14 pm
who cares he's what happens if you run a ctrl-i over a black person.
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: Alec on October 16, 2008, 09:03:23 pm
can we have a neither option for this one?
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: ThugTears666 on October 16, 2008, 09:25:09 pm
Your neither vote is you dont vote. Ooooh this is a close one
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: Doktormartini on October 17, 2008, 01:03:25 am
haha I"m not white?  I am fyi.  Except I've been called Mexican and Chinese before... I don't know why.
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: crone_lover720 on October 17, 2008, 02:12:58 am
Quote from: Doktormartini on October 17, 2008, 01:03:25 am
haha I"m not white?  I am fyi.  Except I've been called Mexican and Chinese before... I don't know why.
ethiopian too. I remember someone here called you ethiopian.
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: ThugTears666 on October 17, 2008, 04:22:19 am
I am putting a 3 day time limit on this if someone gains a sufficent lead, otherwise obviously I will extend it .

Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: Farren on October 17, 2008, 04:43:45 am
Quote from: earl chip on October 17, 2008, 02:12:58 am
ethiopian too. I remember someone here called you ethiopian.

no they said he was malnourished
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: Doktormartini on October 18, 2008, 01:39:11 am
Quote from: Coxswain on October 17, 2008, 04:43:45 am
no they said he was malnourished
hhaha I remember that.
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: dragonx on October 18, 2008, 04:11:11 am
im incredibly biased like doktormartini's sources so im just gonna say
i voted for the other guy
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: Dale Gobbler on October 18, 2008, 04:15:26 am
+1 for dok to tie it up, sorry omcifer.

If you added V-E-G-A-N to it dok it would've been a little bit better, but it flowed pretty nice anyways.
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: fatty on October 18, 2008, 09:59:52 am
Quote from: Doktormartini on October 17, 2008, 01:03:25 am
haha I"m not white?  I am fyi.  Except I've been called Mexican and Chinese before... I don't know why.
You look like you are from the Philippines
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: local_dunce on October 18, 2008, 01:04:58 pm
Omcifer destroyed. This was the WORST verse of anything I have ever heard:

Quote
Sup nigga, ya think you got what it takes?
I'm gonna tear you apart...rip up your face
Make you eat cake
shitty cake that is
can you take my dis, can you eat my shit?
no well fuck I'll make you piss
letssssss gooooooooo

like, it is actually VERY UNCOMFORTABLY BAD so Omcifer wins this one hands down imo.
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: Lars on October 18, 2008, 02:43:38 pm
uh yeah that's actually really bad

im gonna vote for omcifer too
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: Artis Leon Ivey Jr on October 18, 2008, 02:45:43 pm
crank dat goji boy.
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: Artis Leon Ivey Jr on October 18, 2008, 02:47:00 pm
goji boy strong as a lion
wa me do wa me no cryin
wa me go to the front lawn and supaaamaan that dandelion
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: dragonx on October 18, 2008, 07:48:45 pm
i think there should be a steel option in this poll
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: Vellfire on October 19, 2008, 01:11:26 pm
hey guys i used the word nigga does that make this a rap??????


i want to vote for steel too his was the best
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: fatty on October 19, 2008, 05:23:01 pm
Quote from: dragonx on October 18, 2008, 07:48:45 pm
i think there should be a steel option in this poll
I'd seriously vote for steel, somebody change my vote
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: Artis Leon Ivey Jr on October 19, 2008, 05:54:32 pm
in all honesty I didn't enjoy dok's rap at all and find it baffling anyone would. when you do a jumpoff battle or whatever first off you don't drop NIGGA if you're a fucking white kid. I guess everyone voting for him decided to ignore this though? he also threw in "gay" and "faggot", even more lazy ass shit.

then there's this:

Quote
The economy is collapsin
and your thinking about rappin
Better prepare for martial law
I mean quit your fappin
Your dick is lapsin
And by God I'm lauging
Oh wait, I forgot, you don't belive in Him
Your one of those motherfucking atheist kids
Where, then, tell me did I come from?
How did I get here?  How did I just own?
God's on my side supplying me with rhymes
Jesus is in my soul, I believe He's divine
Turned water into whine
and your ass into swine
so bad in fact it was forbidden in His time
Oink oink nigga if you eat it you'll die
Now the lesson that's learned bitch you better see
Flip open The Book, John 3:16
Your ass needs savin', at least from me
Cause I'm a warrior of Christ and I fight ferociously
I'm gonna crucify you
Not with nails and the cross
I use my lyrics because I am the boss!

seriously? let's take a look at this:

Quote
The economy is collapsin
and your thinking about rappin
Better prepare for martial law
I mean quit your fappin
Your dick is lapsin

first of "martial law" for no reason. just a line that doesn't rhyme. COOL. then there's just no segue; from martial law quit your (fyi YOU'RE not "your thinking" unless you mean his thinking is also collapsing which i dont think you meant) fappin? there's no reason to do that. it's okay to break a line when you finish it but what kind of a thought process is "the economy is bad and you're rapping, best change your pursuits for there may be a governmental collapse" especially when you're rapping in response?

Quote
And by God I'm lauging
Oh wait, I forgot, you don't belive in Him
Your one of those motherfucking atheist kids
Where, then, tell me did I come from?
How did I get here?  How did I just own?
God's on my side supplying me with rhymes
Jesus is in my soul, I believe He's divine
Turned water into whine
and your ass into swine
so bad in fact it was forbidden in His time
Oink oink nigga if you eat it you'll die
Now the lesson that's learned bitch you better see
Flip open The Book, John 3:16
Your ass needs savin', at least from me
Cause I'm a warrior of Christ and I fight ferociously
I'm gonna crucify you
Not with nails and the cross
I use my lyrics because I am the boss!

LOOK AT HOW LONG THIS IS. unless you are really fucking good your verse should never be this long and most of it has nothing to do with omcifer, just about how dok loves jesus.

Quote
Oh wait, I forgot, you don't belive in Him
Your one of those motherfucking atheist kids
Where, then, tell me did I come from?
How did I get here?  How did I just own?
God's on my side supplying me with rhymes
Jesus is in my soul, I believe He's divine

Him/kids. from/own. rhymes/divine. this doesn't rhyme.

Quote
Jesus is in my soul, I believe He's divine
Turned water into whine
and your ass into swine
so bad in fact it was forbidden in His time
Oink oink nigga if you eat it you'll die

hey dok to quote murs I know some real niggas that will straight up slap you if you said some stupid shit like NIGGERS ARE PIGS (did you know nigga actually means something???). the worst part is you wrote a better line by accident. you could have said "he turned my money into manna/made my hand fit a banana/and he turned your water into wine/but you thought he meant you could whine" or something and lead off it but you misspelled WINE adfsfsffff. also "swine" was not forbidden, eating it was, but your rhyme leads from SWINE to FORBIDDEN and then to EAT, which is confusing.

Quote
Now the lesson that's learned bitch you better see
Flip open The Book, John 3:16
Your ass needs savin', at least from me
Cause I'm a warrior of Christ and I fight ferociously
I'm gonna crucify you
Not with nails and the cross
I use my lyrics because I am the boss!

more bible shit. thanks for the BITCH btw. we all know you and we know you don't talk like this so it was in some misguided attempt at authenticity that you stuck this shit in. I don't know why Afura loved WARRIOR FOR CHRIST instead of the previous two lines which were the best probably in this whole set, although if you try to rap this shit out loud the meter's fucked to hell. and then there's a lazy boss/cross rhyme despite the fact that your ability to crucify someone lyrically would have nothing to do with your being any type of boss. ironically, though it would sound like you fell out of the 80s, saying I AM BOSS is better than saying you're a noun which has nothing to do with lyrical ability. better line: "I leaned lyrics when I hustled with Rick Ross".

this is the reason I kind of stay out of this shit because it apparently requires nothing other than self deprecation and long NON RHYMING segments to impress people. my stupid GOJI BOY rap burned dok better than omcifer did but at least he tried to hold to a call response format where dok just ranted about cakes and God and threw in a "faggot nigger" and eleven people thought it was impressive.

maybe next time you can both reference boba fett falling in the pit of the sarlacc and compare it to your opponent's ability and everyone will say O...M...G...
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: Artis Leon Ivey Jr on October 19, 2008, 06:03:24 pm
in a way I was most disappointed in omcifer because he had more than anyone could have had to work with. dok's a vegan raw foodist who makes brownies out of fucking dirt and leaves, who hates milk, who *kissed* mkkmypet, who supports peta and ron paul, who told a cancer patient to take spirluna despite zero actual evidence of spirluna or blue algae having any effect on tumors, and who has one of the funniest awesome topics on record (http://www.gamingw.net/forums/index.php?topic=4501.0) and you referenced veganism in like one verse only.
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: AdderallApocalypse on October 19, 2008, 06:49:35 pm
Oh yeah. I was going to mention some things he has said more, but I didn't really remember exactly what.
I guess I should have checked his post history! Oh well...
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: ThugTears666 on October 19, 2008, 11:35:58 pm
I actually did think that Omcifer could have got a little more personal even though his was better, especially because Doktor is a pedifile (hahahah i forgot about your cyber affair with mkkmypet), has retarded views about jews and looks like he is dying because he thinks a fist full of grass is a healthy meal.

Regardless voting closes in one day.
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: Doktormartini on October 20, 2008, 02:03:09 am
lol I don't support PETA but cool thanks for that.
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: PTizzle on October 20, 2008, 01:34:35 pm
I took Dok's verse as taking the piss a bit and Omcifer had WAY more to work with and he didn't do nearly enough, plus his lines were awkward and long.

Dok's wasn't good and it was very close with the vote as I said, I just took Dok's as being light hearted and funny whereas Om's was a bit too awkward.

I wanted to vote for Om after his second but I just didn't find it matched up to Dok's second. Dok's first was god awful early on but I'm assuming that was just a "yo yo mic check g check my guns one two" piss-take rather than a serious opening.

Also guys 16 lines is the average rap verse so please do that and don't write 100000 lines.

I'm not gonna re-read it or change my vote since I decided what I wanted and basically Om should have done more with what he had. Dok has a pretty well known personality and it's easy to rip on him.
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: Vellfire on October 20, 2008, 01:51:11 pm
I don't really see "NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA OINK OINK NIGGA" as lighthearted
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: PTizzle on October 20, 2008, 02:05:48 pm
Yeah that was really dumb but I think he was just dropping the n bomb to be cool rather than to OFFEND or whatev. Those lines are awful but as I said I was really disappointed with Om's lack of hard hitting stuff when it was SO easy.

Also try flowing this:

"The warrior of Christ tries with all his might, he reveals the holy light
 but gets slammed into place like a guy with altophobia facing the height"

If you want to sound retarded you can pull it off but it's way too long and messy. Stuff like this is why I think Dok just had the edge after some truly god-awful rhymes and word usages:

"I'm the antidepressent fucking with your brain
I'm like Vioxx side effects making you insane
If you were a vitamin you'd be vitamin C
and I'm the high heat causing you to deplete"
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: fatty on October 20, 2008, 02:31:42 pm
Quote from: Doktormartini on October 20, 2008, 02:03:09 am
lol I don't support PETA but cool thanks for that.
so basically the reason you don't eat meat is that you think animals are gross and you hate vegetables so much you want to eat them all out of spite
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: Artis Leon Ivey Jr on October 20, 2008, 03:46:27 pm
Quote from: PTizzle on October 20, 2008, 02:05:48 pm
"I'm the antidepressent fucking with your brain
I'm like Vioxx side effects making you insane
If you were a vitamin you'd be vitamin C
and I'm the high heat causing you to deplete"

except vioxx's notorious side effects give you heart attacks, not mental illness, vioxx is not an antidepressant which weakens the link between lines one and two, and C and deplete can barely slant rhyme let alone make sense in a purely written context.

the funny thing is this is one of dok's MEDICAL CONSPIRACY nonsense posts and he wants you to google vitamin c depletion because he knows it from his raw food shit since a few cooking methods cause vitamin c levels to slightly drop in some foods (fyi its fairly difficult to deplete vitamin c through boiling water which is how most people cook vitamin c laden foods).

I'll agree that Omcifer's rhymes were fucking impossible to rap (please actually say your raps outloud guys) but every instance of "taking the piss" you listed I just found as PISSING. his entire rap is too self deprecating and not in an Eminem at the end of 8 Mile kind of way.

basically let me be an arrogant dick for a sec:

Quote
I'm crafting superior ways of defeating you, I know how you feel, but what's the
most you can do? Saying I can't beat DoktorMartini is like saying a Japanese
Mathematican can't handle two plus two.

this is just dumb. JAPANESE MATH? is this a stereotype? japan does math better than others? what's bad in this first entire set is he never once actually insults dokmartini; he just says a bunch of poorly crafted analogies.

Dok's first post is no better BUT

Quote
what the fuck is Omcifer? Damn, that's gay
and why the dude on your avatar?
you think that will make you e-popular?

this is what rap battles are about. you criticize your opponent's SPECIFICS. thus it's kind of amazing omcifer pulls DOKMARTINI and doesn't do anything with it. if I was rap battling ptizzle I'd make fun of his australian shit, and he'd probably throw some shit about CAPSLOCK in. the reason I can't feel dok's first at all, other than some dreadful jesus rap stuff, is because he kept sayin NIGGA and FAGGOT. those are lazy as hell and like I said in a real freestyle would get him beat up.

the second posts are better for both people because omcifer has three whole verses dedicated to dok and dissing what he just said. dok doesn't do this well in his second post at all. there's more self deprecation to open (omcifer didn't even touch dandelions and he's done, you don't self deprecate when your opponent isn't going to bring it up) , and then we get:

Quote
Man, you mention all this shit like drugs and diseases
I'm a crazy little man who does as he please

that's pretty much it! no more reference to omcifer, but there's lots to google! whats an alginean? taraxacin? vioxx? the last verse in particular is astonishing:

Quote
Fucking big bird why you talking that preschool shit
Still need to learn your numbers cause you haven't yet?
And you practice 24/7 counting in your head to ten
Getting so pissed cause you can never reach the end
Well my friend, I'm infusing you with sin
Like the vaccines that fill you with heavy metal toxins
Obey the white lab coat guy with a syringe
If my lyrics don't, for sure he'll make you cringe
Shit you got a problem here take this drug
Side effects:  Shitty rhymes, and no love
Flick on the TV to the Fox News
Do whatever they say cause the government controls you
Shit's so biased
your mental retardation it's the highest
Homies think I'm the flyest
Bow down to me like you were pious

the first four lines don't mean ANYTHING; Omcifer never mentioned preschool, big bird, counting, sesame street, or anything that dok seems to be replying to. and then after that, look at this. it's DOK'S CONSPIRACY HOUR. he talks about how vaccines are poison and the media and government are controlling you. none of this has ANYTHING to do with ANYTHING. omcifer went on tangents but he always brings it back; dok just rants about BIG GOV.

look people a rap battle works with a few metaphors tied together (you're clark kent I'm superman etc) and is mostly reliant on insulting your opponent directly and flipping his shit back. in a jumpoff this is hard to do because you only have till your opponent is done to reply, but here you have like three days. there's no excuse for filler lines about government conspiracies when you have several days to write a reply. omcifer's opening was weak but his second verse, while still weak, was what this shit's actually about. not just saying words words words.

also read your fucking lines to a beat. sure you might trick someone into thinking the meter's okay but the majority of people will be mentally rapping along and if you stumble, so do they. that's probably why omcifer's so far behind; your shit doesn't flow, but your asshole's a-quiver/I've got diarheaa flowin out like a river ~socceristhebest.
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: Artis Leon Ivey Jr on October 20, 2008, 03:49:39 pm
seriously you guys have the time to do acrostics, entire fake rhymes, you can link a wikipedia article for every line if you want, but you're pulling JAPANESE MATH and FOX NEWS IS BAD? come on.
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: Vellfire on October 20, 2008, 05:19:14 pm
also

Quote
Also try flowing this:

"The warrior of Christ tries with all his might, he reveals the holy light
 but gets slammed into place like a guy with altophobia facing the height"

maybe i am just weird but i can make this flow just fine as a rap in my head, it's just a little different than i would normally read a rap

the only part that is really off for me is "ike a guy with altophobia facing the height", if this line was somehow shorter and then flowed into the next line i would have no problem reading this
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: Artis Leon Ivey Jr on October 20, 2008, 05:49:55 pm
no it's pretty horrible. let's break it down. you've got three rhymes going on, and a sentence break in the first part.

so let's do this

The warrior of Christ tries with all his might
1,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11 syllables
he reveals the holy light
1,3,4,6,7 syllables
 but gets slammed into place like a guy with altophobia facing the height
1,2,3,5,6,7,8,9,10,15,17,18,19

it becomes too awkward. when you have internal rhymes you don't let up on the beat. for example:

Huddlin' over the oven, we was like brothers then
Though you was nothin' other than a son of my mother's friend

in the first triple internal rhyme you've got three syllables separating each part of the internal rhyme. in the second one, nothin and mother and other all kind of rhyme which excuses the fact there's a division of five and four. also the two main lines are way under 18 to 19 syllables, topping out at about 15 syllables.

when you do internal rhymes they need to be separated by equal distances or flowed naturally. for example

Quote
A to the B centuries of defeat, enemies of the free
Who believe what they read and they say what they see
But they see with the same eyes of the enterprise tellin lies to me

in the last line only the ending rhymes with the "ee" set up before but because they have a set meter DUN dun dun DUN, DUN dun dun DUN, all the way though, it reads well. the path of emphasis in the warrior of christ line gets broken by the comma.

like I said rap it OUTLOUD to check if it works, your head will slow a beat down internally. you cant just cut the altophobia line and say AH IT WORKS, that line's the main offender.
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: Artis Leon Ivey Jr on October 20, 2008, 06:21:09 pm
also

Quote
"The warrior of Christ tries with all his might, he reveals the holy light
 but gets slammed into place like a guy with altophobia facing the height"

ignore flow, this is an awful line. it opens okay with the christ reference, and then suddenly cuts to HOLY LIGHT (if anything this is a compliment) and worst of all slammed into place like a guy facing a phobia? that has nothing to do with slamming into place. also "the height"? not "heights?" it would be better to change light to lights and use heights than add a singular tense to heights.

here's a line:

the warrior of christ, a dyslexic for dogs
gets slammed in place like he's playing pogs

pogs (the game) were slammed (a type of pog was actually the slammer). also dyslexic for dogs is mildly insulting and also has a nice little HEH I GET IT attached. its not a dynamite line but do you see the difference?
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: dada on October 20, 2008, 07:09:06 pm
All of this stuff is pretty terrible.  I'll just refrain from voting because it seems like both contestants missed the point.

EDIT: I don't feel like explaining exactly why they missed the point READ STEEL'S ESSAYS.

EDIT:

[9:12pm] Vale: personal attacks would be pretty unfair though wouldn't they?

QUOTE OF THE DAY!  (He didn't mean what you think it means but it's still funny.)
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: Vale on October 20, 2008, 07:16:12 pm
B-b-b-bastard :(
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: dada on October 20, 2008, 09:21:25 pm
Voted for Omcifer because he pissed me off less than Doktormartini.  DO NOT USE THE WORD "NIGGA" WHEN YOU'RE WHITE.
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: PTizzle on October 20, 2008, 10:35:32 pm
Wow, nice schoolin' there Steel. I was gonna crack my knuckles and get into that stuff but you summarised it pretty well! I don't Wiki stuff that people put in text battle rhymes (unless it's something that I know is good but I'm missing out on or something I SHOULD know about or whatev) so I didn't realise with the Vioxx thing, I guess it just sounded good and I trusted it and so on. I think the reason Dok put all that shit about Vitamin C in and so on is because that's what he 'knows' so it's the easiest way for him to knock out punchlines. Then again I don't really make video game punchlines or anything so that's not really an excuse.

If I'm gonna be really blunt I thought both were fairly awful but Om had more to work with so should have done more. Looks like he's going to win anyways though so work on tightening your lines and going for your opponent more directly and you'll probably end up doing well Om. Keep the syllables at a reasonable level and structure your lines so it's not like short/long/long/LOOONg/short etc
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: ThugTears666 on October 20, 2008, 11:03:18 pm
BOOM VOTING IS NOW OVER AND IT APPEARS OMCIFER IS THE WINNER

Jewish conspricy theorists of the world mourn your loss
Title: EVERYONE VOTE NOW: Omcifer versus Doktormartini. Nutrition revolution 2008
Post by: ThugTears666 on October 20, 2008, 11:05:42 pm
also when i PM the next contestants  :fogetshifty: i may link what steel said to the next battle so some of you people who have almost no experience at all can gain some tips