how do I know if I have a 64 bit processor? All I know about my processor is it's a PIV; 2.2GHZ.

How long have you had that copy of Windows installed, and what type of install is it? Many OEM Windows discs allow you to install it multiple times without any trouble because they have so many 'keys' allowed. Also, Microsoft's activation service only keeps your information in its databases for about 6 months IIRC, after that you can reinstall without worry.
formatting pretty much IS the sure-fire free way to do it
Didn't he see Man of the Year? This debacle will be advertised like a comedy but in actuality be a political thriller.