Alright, I'll do my best to open your mind.
First off, exactly what is wrong with doing something that makes you feel good? My God, This is our only existence and we should treat is as such. Not by being confined by our mortality, but about accepting it and doing what the fuck you want before the final day comes. I'd rather fill my life with things that make me feel good (Like skating, or surfing, or making music) than missing out on them because I think the only reason I do it is because it makes me feel good. Things only exist as you perceive them. Are you suggesting we give up our hobbies and not do things that make us feel good to be depressed all the time? I'm not sure what you mean.
And fitting in is kind of a highschool mentality. I'm sure there are people who aren't in highschool who are still insecure about where they stand and who they hangout with, but it's really a jouvenile concept. I don't do things because so and so does them, I don't care about all the fucking drama that transpires from that. I do things because I want to. I straighten my hair because I think I look better/more attractive than when I do not. Gives me even more confidence. I don't lose that confidence when it is not straightened because I feel I have a very open minded and humorous personality, but I have preferences (as do you and everybody else.)
Now, I got my ears pierced like this for a few reasons. I have always wanted to get piercings, something to match my face and style. Traditional hoops weren't my thing and neither were diamond studs. With this alternative, I feel it expresses more of who I am. Not by blindly following a growing trend in a certain group of people, but by having something non-traditional but still looks good. You've got more options of what you want to display depending on your style instead of just a hoop or a stud. I like wearing the color black because it matches well with my complexion, but I don't think black hoops would do it. So I ventured off to the parlor to get it done. It also is a kind of life experience, a sort of bond or fraternity in a way with other people who have done it and understand. It does hurt, a lot and after it's over you get kind of a rush. It's a kind of journey or something, to go in willingly and accept pain and have a hole punched in you. It symbolizes a few of the things in my past and how it made me hurt and how it is always a part of me. I'm not concerned whether you buy it or not because it is something that only I need to understand and if you don't, that's okay.
I just hope you don't think you know everything about everyone simply by their superficiality as you have put it because it makes YOU a shallow person. A rational contradiction.