best post on this message board in years.

Murder Dog, NES.

Background:

"Murder Dog" was the PAL only sequel to the hit Japanese game "Hayashi no Gaia: C.R.Y.S.T.A.L". Development team Kagomi attempted to make a game which would corner the burgeoning western market, however the game's contents and atmosphere were considered too horrifying at the time and it never saw widespread release[1].

Characters:

Murder Dog: Protagonist Murder Dog is a high-ranking officer in the Cactus City police force. A copy of the original design document makes references to him fighting a large-scale drug operation, however the actual gameplay seems to consist exclusively of Murder Dog arbitrarily killing and eating random Cactus City residents while spraying blood from his eyes and emitting unsettling 8-bit squawking noises. Poor translation has left the game's plot undecipherable, but we do know that Murder Dog vehemently drags on an animated cigar before speaking and that his comments make frequent reference to a "blazing wheel". His character design is primarily centered around two glowing blood-red eyes, which Kagomi apparantly believed would humanize the character.

Susan Atari: Referred to in the game manual as "Murder Dog Top Pooch Companion", this character is completely absent from the actual game apart from an animated Game Over sequence where she removes her dress while turning into a skeleton. Some commentators[2] believe this section to have been stolen verbatim from failed Kagomi hentai game "Cockroach Whore".

Black Danger: The chief antagonist and end boss of each stage. Black Danger is primarily depicted as a Murder Dog sprite painted black and covered in animated flies, although the game manual inexplicably used for his headshot a poorly-scanned picture of the cover to Grace Jones' "Nightclubbing" album. The appearance of this character ingame will automatically destroy both the game cartridge and the console it is played on.

Goofs & Trivia:

- When Murder Dog returns from the dead in Level Two, he was originally meant to quip "Hot Enough For Ya". The translation mysteriously replaced this with a string of swearwords.

- Entering the Konami Code at the title screen plays a cutscene where Murder Dog kills and eats an old lady.

- Murder Dog cartridges contain significant amounts of incredibly toxic chemicals, leading to some to suggest their existence as part of an aborted chemical weapons program. They are consequently illegal in every country.

- If Murder Dog remains still long enough, he will drown on the blood which pours from his mouth and face.