warpped you sound like a dude that has gotten their heart broken at least once in their life. 
is this true?
You are attempting some subtle humor or you are oblivious in this post. I'm going to assume the former though. But fuck it I'll answer anyway: I have had 2 girlfriends thus far. In both cases the relationship was extremely short and we mutually broke up because the relationships were not going anywhere emotionally or physically and neither of us had money to go out. So in a relationship sense I have not had a "broken heart". Mild disappointment, but quickly forgetting about it later.
how do we respond to you seriously? you're a virgin that wants to have sex but you're anxious around women. your philosophies justifying this and what you want are pretty lol.
By explaining why my philosophies are "lol".
and if its just that I'm a virgin there really isn't anything I can do to change this in the time frame of this argument. This also suggests that once I stop being a virgin all my philosophies will change or I'll see the error of my judgment. So basically you are suggesting that I need to get laid and then I'm A-OK to argue about this. That is what I can infer.
and honestly maybe I am wrong.
I'm only anxious/nervous due to lack of experience.
Here's a semi-coherent rant, read at your own peril:
Hidden content (Click to reveal)I recognize that I could stop being awkard through experience. I'm also awkward because I understand that early on in relationships you are supposed to kind of put up an advertisement of yourself. Show through various means that you are available and attractive in all senses. You are also supposed to complement them at the right moments and avoid criticizing them to certain degrees. I can't do this. My mind screams at me when I hold back on any honestly or bluntness. My mind tells me I'm a POS when I bend the truth or tell a white lie to please someone or make myself look good. If someone has a noticeable flaw, myself or others, I rarely hesitate to mention it under normal circumstances. If I find I'm in a situation where its inadvisable, I feel like my head is going to explode when I hold back. Not from anger or stress but unrelenting shame that I'm becoming one of those dickheads that live in a state of perpetual self praise or a manipulating snake.
When someone's feelings are hurt by the truth and they say that I or anyone else should not be allowed to mention them my thoughts boil down to "fuck you, either fix it, accept it, or explain yourself, don't tell me or anyone that we can't bring it up. its the truth and the truth needs to be faced".
I hate social politics, I hate tip toeing around anything. Almost every available attractive girl I've met seems to thrive on this environment of social manipulation and engineering. I can't stand it. there are stereotypes built around it the old "does this make me look fat" cliche, while not being solid fact, didn't come out of thin air. Girls want to be told they are beautiful no matter what. They want to be told they are good natured and smart. pointing out any flaws makes them hate you.
Now that I've told you this, this is exactly how I respond to criticism. I either attempt to fix it (admittedly this fails a lot), explain/defend myself, or accept it. I don't hate the person that pointed it out.
This kind of went off topic but I found that I couldn't just argue one thing I felt like I needed to cover some bases. and I still feel like there are plenty to cover.
Oh wow I took way to long to respond so there ended up being a large number of more posts so this post continues. with a response to Belross.
warpped, even I would say that visiting a prostitute isn't necessarily a good idea. Yeah when you're still a virgin, you think life sucks. It's as if you're missing out, as if someone is throwing the sweetest party ever in your own living room, and you aren't invited. But really, I think you just need to lighten up about sex. I know that can be hard, what with how American culture shoves sex down our throats constantly 24/7. In movies, on TV, on the radio, it's everywhere. And yet, paradoxically there is this twisted unhealthy mindset about sex, as if it is nasty, dirty, and wrong, and needs to be covered up. I think those conflicting values really fuck a lot of young people up.
Totally agree. What I need to clarify is that I actually don't want to lose my virginity to a prostitute. I'm merely interested in having sex with one (whether that is what gets ride of my virginity isn't actually the point), to at least EXPERIENCE sex once with a exceedingly attractive girl not any just any girl. not to experience sex for the first time. Also find the idea of someone turning me down because I at some point in my life had sex with a prostitute to be understandable if the the reasoning was out of worry of STDs. Which is way I'd make sure what ever prostitute I fucked was clean. Any other reason I would think of them as uppity or ignorant.
You think that if you "take the plunge" and finally get laid, it will magically fix everything that is wrong with your sex life. But it won't. In fact, if you end up paying for it, I think it will be even worse for you. If your first experience is with a prostitute, you'll always have that hanging in the back of your mind. When you get an actual girlfriend and a relationship, what are you going to do when she asks you about your prior sexual experience? You can either lie your ass off, or you can fess up, and neither of those options will probably do you any good.
I honestly don't know if it will. My reasoning the pushes me to get laid then is to lay this to rest then if it isn't that big of a deal.
And I'm sorry to say this, but your problem with girls has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that you are a virgin. Whatever anxiety you are experiencing around girls is the cause of your virginity, not vice versa. Whatever is causing that anxiety - most likely low self esteem - will not conveniently disappear just because you stick your dick in some pussy. It's not really that simple man!
low self esteem is possible. but its more for lack of experience because I DON'T TRY. and that makes it so that I'm not laid at all because I rarely meet women (especially at the school that I'm in). The few female friends I've had I did not try because (and I know this is kind of funny when you think about it) that it'd ruin my friendship with them and any of their friends. but not because of my hang-ups, I'd be worried that like most people THEY would be weirded out.
Finally... sex just isn't that important. Yeah, it's fun, but it is not the meaning of life. Being so fixated on it, that if you don't get it you are miserable and afraid of girls, is unhealthy. There is so much more to life than just sex, my friend. And in my opinion, you shouldn't worry about people's opinion of you just because you're a virgin. There is nothing inherently "wrong" with you because of that, and anyone who tries to tell you otherwise is an epic fucking douchebag. IMO, anyone who tries to make you feel bad about being a virgin - including you making yourself feel bad - needs to readjust their value systems.
I believe there is really any other meaning to life other than to have fun and live long. (in a selfish perspective I suppose). And I view sex life enjoying good food or playing a fun video game or something. Its entertainment or pleasure. Even if sex is only just as good as these things I can't imagine that I wouldn't be frustrated if I did not have these things. So yeah, still want to have it. believe me though I'm not in a race for it. Its frustrating that I don't have it but I'm not going to let that cloud my judgment.
I hope this helps. And if you would like to talk more, away from a bunch of tremendous assholes who would rather put you down rather than offer up any human compassion, just PM me.
Thank you. You are pretty understanding. I might do that. but I'm not to worried about the tremendous assholes.
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