When's the last time you got a spicy boner? Probably never, that's when. That's because sex is boring. It's like walking your dog, but sweatier. It's a lot of monotonous work, and once in a while something cool happens and you go "oh sweet" and then it's back to the same old shit. Well, I ain't takin' none o' dat no mo'. I'm about to SPICE THE FUCK out of your cocks and vaginas. Check it. This is some crazy maneuvers I invented last night while I waited for Spongebob to buffer. You'll like it. If you don't, you're not people.
Chocolate Double Barrel
Kinda like ass to mouth, only it's ass to ass. If you're only banging one girl, use your own ass to complete the equation.
Flawless Dicktory
Cum so fast, she doesn't get a chance to touch you.
Leamington Kiss AKA Tomato Pie
Get a girl on her period to sit on your face.
Son Of Wilson
After doing a Leamington Kiss, press your face on a volleyball. Then fuck it.
Son Of A Gun
Unload a Glock into a vagina with the protection off.
Lost In Duty AKA Full Moon Lagoon
Siphon poo out of your partner's ass into a kiddy pool, then wade in it screaming for help until someone rescues you.
Party Foul
Pull the person into the pool.
Potty Mouth
Then suck their dick.
Hello, This Is Bill Cosby
Have an intimate night with a girl. Wine and dine her, make her feel special. Tell her that her hair is lovely. Give her the sweetest kiss ever. Make love to her. Call her the next day in Bill Cosby's voice and tell her it won't work out.
Five Finger Discount
Fondle your balls. You deserve it.
The Hills Have Eyes
Sneak up to your girlfriend while she's sleeping, put your head between her boobs and stare at her until she wakes up.
My Chemical Bromance
Get really high on hard drugs, fuck your best male friend, feel awkward for the rest of your life.
The Brown Bullet
Have a girl open a can of Coors Light with her asshole. Then let her drink it.
Hecho En Mexico
Take a vacation to Cancun. Impregnate a Mexican woman. Forget about her. Come back 15 years later and bond with your child.
Crylight
Find a hardcore Twilight fan with lots of makeup, then recite the most tender passages to her while she's sucking your dick. Get all her makeup on your cock.
Crylight Refund
Use the exact replica of her face now imprinted on your pubes to ask for a refund at the local movie theater. Then fuck the money.
Midlife Lullaby
Come home from your shit job to catch your girlfriend cheating on you. Look in the mirror at how fat you are. You're so fat. Call a sex phone operator and have her sing lullabies to you while you cry. Tell her she sounds just like your mother.
Now it's your turn. I wanna strap your ideas around my pelvis and let them make me feel good. Mmm'yeah.
Gaming World Forums
Sexual Revolution 2010
