Books reading people (Read 819 times)

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this topic might be silly since it's essentially about ethics and it's on the internet, BUT, how do you feel about reading people?

i study psychology, and when i mention this the standard response is "hope you're not reading my mind" or something similar. i tend to be pensive about sharing this, people stop talking to you at parties etc. just in case. anyway a bus driver sparked up some awkward small talk with me, and when i said i did psychology the conversation went like this:
"oh, you need psychology in this world, to be able to read people"
"oh we don't actually read people like that, what little i can do i deliberately don't use"
"why not?"
"i think it sets up a power difference and it's kinda abusive"
"everyone else is trying to read everyone else anyway, you'd just be better at it. there'd only be a power difference because you're better then them, but by not using it you're still saying you're better than them, you just have no practical basis for it"
"you have given me a lot to think about"
"ONWARD LIGHT WARRIOR"

or something to that extent. currently i deliberately avoid psychoanalysing people, or analysing people at all. how do you guys feel about analysing other people? ethically? would you mind if your friend was analysing you?
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i psychoanalyze everyone at first glance
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you can psychoanalyze people you barely know  guess t wll just make you annoyng

lke back n hghschool when  had lyme dsease and my bran was pretty much fallng apart just moltng n chunks there was a grl and we were both bg on ANALYSNG people and after we had fun wth that for a whle she decded  was the worst person n the world and made a bg post about how awful  was on gaaonlne. bascally t's the worst don't even thn about ths stuff outsde the confessonal or w/e t was you wanted to do
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 qut usng the letter  because t s the sexst letter, a manfestaton of the contnued domnance of the male and af dre al pecker.
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i don't mean JUDGING, i mean like sitting down and figuring out what makes them tick/what they want (and inevitably) using that information for good (fantastic gifts!) or evil?
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im always trying to analyze people because i have autism(self diagnosed) i cant trust anyone i am better than them
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t wll probably stll make you annoyng or uncomfortable to be around. people can tell when you peer nto ther souls. or maybe you wll become very talented at concealng your abltes and be able to lve among the people, secretly betterng the lves of all who lve on wstera lane
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t wll probably stll make you annoyng or uncomfortable to be around. people can tell when you peer nto ther souls. or maybe you wll become very talented at concealng your abltes and be able to lve among the people, secretly betterng the lves of all who lve on wstera lane

did i mention im a sociopath(self diagnosed) so yeah im really good at concealing it
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ugh what are you guys talking about? this topic boils down to IF YOU COULD READ MINDS, WOULD YOU? WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH THE INFORMATION? not that i can read minds, but that's what the topic boils down to.

also earl chip i read your story again and it makes less sense. "don't analyse people, the girl you do it with could post something hideous on gaiionline"
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i do this a lot unintentionally and im working on it because like you said it makes you hard to be around.
also i am alone like 75% because of my work schedule so analyzing people and things they say, particularly in text, leads down this horrible road of paranoia and anxiety and it seriously not a good thing.

i am def. working on this; when i do it i admit i do feel superior in probably an unjustified way because i am no genius of any kind, but people just really don't fucking like being picked apart. i think i am good at it because i think quickly but it is also imperfect and i tend to draw conclusions too quickly and i often miss things.

tbh i think it kind of kills the fun of being part of a community (maybe i think this because i am alone so often). i very much like learning about people through conversation and stuff.
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i tend to not have any prejudices or attempt to read/shape an opinion about people past what they share with me. Mostly because I'm a self-conscious and anxious wreck myself about what people think of me. A lot of my good friends are radically different from what one would assume just looking at them/having smalltalk so even if I did try to do something like that my frame of reference is so skewed that I'd more than likely make outrageously incorrect assumptions about people.
Last Edit: September 21, 2010, 06:06:10 am by DietCoke
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ugh what are you guys talking about? this topic boils down to IF YOU COULD READ MINDS, WOULD YOU? WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH THE INFORMATION? not that i can read minds, but that's what the topic boils down to.

also earl chip i read your story again and it makes less sense. "don't analyse people, the girl you do it with could post something hideous on gaiionline"
 thnk you mssed a couple 's. and t's not about lterally postng t onlne or even tellng other people about your nonprofessonal garbage analyss, t's about the dangers of analyzng people and thnkng you understand what you fnd or that what you fnd represents any truth, and the unconscous prejudces you mght form from these analysss. attemptng psychoanalyss and therapy n a causal settng s a dangerous game and you hold none of the cards.
Last Edit: September 21, 2010, 06:03:38 am by earlchip
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plus almost everyone is kinda awkward when you first meet them so who knows they may be a completely different person than what they may have said/presented. We've all got our little "masks" or fronts that we put on as a sort of neurotic social defense mechanism, be it at work or with acquaintances. Who knows, that guy you work with who seems to only talk about baseball could also be crazy about spinning pottery and thinks its too "gay" to talk about or he's driven in life purely on spiteful revenge feelings for his stepdad that called him a failure every weeknight or whatever.
Last Edit: September 21, 2010, 06:11:10 am by DietCoke
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f a dog could read a dog's mnd why wouldn't you put a dog n law enforcement?
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f a dog could read a dog's mnd why wouldn't you put a dog n law enforcement?
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i feel like psychology is such a broad unproven field of science that to suggest that you can read people based on it is kind of naive. everyone"reads people" and analyzes them, or at least most do, if they aren't a buddhist monk or some shit. and it is just judging people. you are judging their behavior based on what you consider the norm. whether you justify that norm by saying "well psychology proves that this is the norm" or by saying "religion proves that this is the norm" isnt as of as much significance as one might make it out to be seeing as psychology is hugely unproven. you could make the argument that relgion is hugely proven because billions of people follow religions and that psychology is largely unproven because almost no one (in the scope of the world population) studies it. what would psychology have to say about that? psychology is so broad and lacks scientific dept. i think the beauty behind any competent therapist, isnt a sound scientific understanding, but rather just compassion and sympathy and the ability to see from anothers point of view. i think what im saying here is what everyone else is saying, but without blatant mocking: an understanding of psychology as it is now lacks the depths to be able to read someone over a brief time unless that person has an extremely obvious mental disorder (like schizophrenia).
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well thank you von woofen for not mocking and instead patronising. ps. you've said both that everyone analyses and that psychology is unproven and no-one uses it. you've also said a whole bunch of weird stuff i don't want to address because it's not relevant.

so far everyone's posts seem to hinge on it not working ("it") and no-one has talked about the ethics of if you could, which isn't so far fetched a hypothetical. also i'm not talking about diagnosis or therapeutic intervention with strangers, i'm talking more about consciously trying to figure out what drives people. sitting down and thinking about patterns in peoples behaviour etc. to predict and control future behaviour. how do people feel about this? do you do it? if you could, would you?
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well thank you von woofen for not mocking and instead patronising. ps. you've said both that everyone analyses and that psychology is unproven and no-one uses it. you've also said a whole bunch of weird stuff i don't want to address because it's not relevant.

so far everyone's posts seem to hinge on it not working ("it") and no-one has talked about the ethics of if you could, which isn't so far fetched a hypothetical. also i'm not talking about diagnosis or therapeutic intervention with strangers, i'm talking more about consciously trying to figure out what drives people. sitting down and thinking about patterns in peoples behaviour etc. to predict and control future behaviour. how do people feel about this? do you do it? if you could, would you?

I guess, if I were so knowledgeable that I was actually able to accurately do it without second guessing my assumptions, I probably would. I think the bigger issue is what I would decide to do with said analysis. Predicting is fine as long as it just stays in your head(or in my case, dinner conversations with my wife) but attempting to control future behavior seems to be a little out of bounds IMO. There's some exceptions I guess, like if I know someone who has dealt with addiction and I notice them engaging in behaviors that could lead to relapse or another addiction then I might share my opinions and suggestions in a friendly/caring manner but 'controlling'(as in going out of my way unsolicited to interfere with their choices) is a little too intrusive to me.
Last Edit: September 21, 2010, 10:17:54 am by DietCoke
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I do it all the time and I don't think it's ethically a bad thing. I do it simply because it makes it easier to understand people and what/why they do things. Also because my girlfriend is studying psychology and I find what she tells me interesting.
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I have nothing to say in this topic except that earlchip now looks like he's constantly drunkposting because he has no i's and it's fantastic.
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