Small Terrifying Lump of Paranoia

Small Terrifying Lump of Paranoia (Read 269 times)

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Mongoloid

#1 October 25, 2010, 06:34:40 pm

Group: Member
Joined: Apr 1, 2002
Posts: 1465

Hi guys. Just a little problem for me here, not totally reliant on responses but it'd be cool to see what you guys think.

I noticed back in december before I started touring with a band, while I was at work I rubbed my hand over my right lower back and felt a tiny lump. I didn't think anything of it but casually acknowledged it was there for months, thinking it was a cyst or a fat clump or something and would go away.
It's about the size of a pea I think, and seems to be under the surface of the skin, if I had to guess, and not part of the muscle. It moves a little bit, and by now it is prominent enough that I can feel it just by brushing my hand back there.

The problem is, I have been to a doctor (a PA actually) who said she could feel anything and assured me it was probly just fat or muscle from straining my back. Not sure how she manages to predict something like this when she genuinely did not even see what I was in for but whatever.
I have had my friend feel for it, my mom, my girlfriend, and my guitar player, and nobody can feel this thing and subsequently tells me not to worry. Of course that only worries me more (im not terribly worried to begin with) because I'd be pretty pissed if it turned out to be serious and nobody could find it.

I'm pretty sure it's not a cyst because it's been there for like a year, and what prompted me to make this post is that I felt a sharp pain in it a few days ago, suggesting it's not fat or muscle.

The inherent problem, I think, is whether the thing exists at all. I do have a bit of a paranoid history. Nothing huge, but I had a bit of a breakdown in highschool, though I never saw a doc or anything, I had been convinced that everyone was talking about me behind my back. Irrelevant maybe, but my biggest fear is that this could be a genuine mental illness rather than a physical, and the fact that I am even considering it seems to reinforce.

So I guess any opinions you guys feel like sharing would be cool. I am considering in the next few weeks going in and demanding an ultrasound or something.
thanks dudes

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Von Woofen

#2 October 25, 2010, 06:43:40 pm

Super Saiyan Sam
Group: Member
Joined: Dec 19, 2004
Posts: 289

I wouldn't worry about it. Most illness (mental or otherwise) manifest with more obvious symptoms, but I'm not a doctor so I dunno. If you are really worried about it just go see your doctor again, or maybe try and see a different doctor for a second opinion.

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jamie

#3 October 25, 2010, 06:51:49 pm

ruined former youth seeking atonement
Group: Premium Member
Joined: Jun 4, 2003
Posts: 3581

I know the feeling, I've had various points where I thought I might have been losing my mind or extremely sick but it always turned out to be nothing serious. I've got my own reasons for that which I'm guessing wouldn't apply to you, but even so I always felt a lot better after going to the doctor. One time I thought I had some sort of throat disease because there was a lot of swelling and pain for a couple of weeks but it just turned out to be an infection and I got antibiotics and I was fine in a week or so. I didn't SERIOUSLY think I had a disease but I was freaked out at how severe the pain was and stuff. I don't know, what other people say about this doesn't really matter. Just do what you need to do to put your mind at rest.

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mkkmypet

#4 October 25, 2010, 09:33:07 pm

Fuzzball of Doom!!!11one
Group: Premium Member
Joined: May 5, 2003
Posts: 1204

having little lumps doesn't necessarily mean anything bad. for example, i have 2 benign tumors behind my ear, which have been the same size since i was 10 years old. if a lump is growing, that requires further investigation. if you feel like this is the case, or you have pain in that area, i'd suggest that you find a doctor who will at least acknowledge the existence of the problem. explain clearly that it's the cause of some worry.

i doubt that the problem would be some sort of mental illness causing you to completely imagine the sensation of feeling a bump... hypochondria and paranoia don't cause that sort of thing. the issue is probably that YOU are incredibly familiar with your own body, and your mom, girlfriend, guitar player, and doctor are not. so a bump that seems significant to you can be barely noticeable to others who are only accustomed to their own bodies and a vague sensory anatomy of what is "correct" in a body. know what i mean?

it's not unusual to get paranoid about perceived defects within your own body. i definitely understand that. last year, i had a horrible pain in my lower left abdominal region accompanied by a lump, swelling of the crease between leg and body, and an inability to walk due to pain from movement. i was worried that i might have an ovarian cyst or cancerous tumor or something. i got it checked out at the doctor-- the first doctor thought it could be a hernia but a second doctor's opinion made it clear that it was a swollen lymph node. i got prescribed a chalky paste to heal it, and was able to walk again comfortably within the month. so, even if you are very worried or in a lot of pain, solutions to medical problems often turn out to be simple-- especially if you are young and generally healthy.

so, relax your mind (stress and paranoia can sometimes cause physical problems to get worse). go see a (different?) doctor and try to explain your thoughts calmly, as you did here. i hope that things get cleared up quickly; good luck~

semper games.

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Evangel

#5 October 25, 2010, 11:31:46 pm

brown priyde yea mayne
Group: Member
Joined: Nov 19, 2002
Posts: 1621

I've had a mildly bothersome cyst over my right buttcheek for a few years now. It's been a real "pain in the ass". Probably get it cut out now that I have Navy healthcare but I hate the thought of scalpels.

keep posting...

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Warped655

#6 October 26, 2010, 02:29:33 am

Scanner
Group: Member
Joined: Mar 25, 2004
Posts: 2416

I've been paranoid like this before. And everyone just say not to worry a bout it. Right now I got this dry patch near my elbow. Like skin dying. It been there for like 1-3 I'm not sure. Any case its been bothering me. It's seems to fluctuate in size to a degree. but this might just be in my head. Anyway I think its just a fungus maybe... but I dunno, I do live in Arizona right now... hopefully its not skin cancer or something. :P

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Drule

#7 October 26, 2010, 05:40:33 pm

Group: Guest

I find that a lot of doctors can be both sloppy and patronizing. Benign or not, if you want to get rid of your lump you should just try going to new doctors until you find someone who will listen to you.

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