I see all your points, but isn't it just badass to be a lawyer tho?

Oh totally and incredibly, and INDEED just like Phoenix Wright! I imagine it's one hell of a rewarding career. I did a lot of work experience with family when I was going to be going into the profession, and if you're involved in Criminal or Family Law then fuck yeah, it can be exciting as hell. During the LLBs (Law degrees) here though you also have to study CONTRACT LAW, TORT, CONSTITUTIONAL LAW, PUBLIC LAW, LAND LAW etc though, which are much less fun. Overall though, it is pretty badass.

Don't get me wrong, the only reason I didn't go into Law was my own failings, lack of dedication, and general laziness. In actuality it wasn't like I decided "THIS ISN'T WORTH IT" or anything. I just fucked up and decided to take a much easier route. If you're going for it in a big way then good luck man, I'm sure you'll find it a brilliant career!

Well yeah, but it totally depends on the type of lawyer you are and the Law you go into. I don't know how the US system works, but here if you've chosen to specialise in Criminal Law then that's the law you get to do.

And hell, if you become a BARRISTER here as opposed to a solicitor you're pretty much exclusively like Phoenix Wright, arguing shit in Crown Court. Solicitors and legal executives do all the paperwork for barristers here.

I mean if you've specialised in Contract Law or Land Law though you are pretty much Grade-A paperwork man.

That is terrible news: burgers are the only things that get me through the drudgery of working!!!!

But yeah, Captain JustGotOutOfSchool will probably be dealing with people who've committed really petty crimes. My uncle has been practicing Law for like thirty years now, and he deals with cases like "THE MYSTERY OF THE THREE GUYS WHO FILLED THEIR CAR UP WITH PETROL AND DIDN'T PAY" and "THE CUNNING CASE OF THE BIG FAT MAN WHO SOLD POT THEN GOT A SMALL FINE WHICH HE PAID FOR WITH HIS DISABILITY MONEY".

Considering that murders aren't even THAT prolific a crime here and shit, most Lawyers spend their days dealing with pretty lame crimes. Even so, they still get paid more than me, thus I am filled with ENVY AND ADMIRATION. Just like I am for warlords and arms salesman and shit.

PS: I am talking about the getting a job thing for reasons I have no idea - even in the UK I have NO idea at all how hard it is for lawyers to join a practice - like I say, I had a job lined up since my first year of Law and shit so I was never going to have to even research how to get one. It might be really fucking hard here even to be a Solicitor - I don't know. I mean, I know Barristers have to find someone to study under and pay them money, so I guess you have to be pretty privileged and connected before just assuming it's all going to work out.

Oh yeah, they earn a lot of scratch though if they're successful! Plus I know that like my whole family is DISAPPOINTED in me for failing, so I guess the career has a little prestige. Way more than being a teacher anyway, where working class people admire you whereas middle class people see you as like a SERVANT and shit.

Faust: Arbitrarily capitalising job titles since 2001

There's a HUGE culture of cocaine abuse amongst Barristers and QCs (Queen's Council) here. Every few years we get a BIG STORY or a TELL-ALL BOOK published.

But, then again, there's an enormous culture of drug abuse in this country in general anyway. It's rare to find someone who doesn't get totally out of it on one form of narcotic or another. Just most people stick to things cheaper (and more effective) than cocaine.

OBJECTION!

I still deliberate it sometimes. When things get really stressful and shit, I think "HEY I MAY AS WELL GET PAID MORE FOR SHIT". Then I laugh and shrug it off, aware of my own limitations and apathy concerning personal progression.

I am trapped in a prison of laziness, which is why my days often revolve around punctuation and formatting (FUCKING DON'T FORGET THE ADDRESS AND CORRECT SIGN-OFF YOU LITTLE PUNKS!!)