Well, I probably play games as much as I ever did except when I was a young kid when I played them much more. There was a period, when I was first at college and had a sliver of a social life, when I wasn't playing them at all for months, but that died down and now I tend to play them on a kind of rotation of getting sucked into a couple of games and playing lots of them, then not having anything interesting left and not playing for a few weeks. Heh, pretty interesting, huh?
It's not something I necessarily think is okay, but I'm not a happy person in general and I think the gaming problem is not one I am capable of facing head on by going cold turkey on games. I think it's a product of the unhappiness rather than the cause, so with some life changes that I need to and am going to put into motion I'll get to a level with this kind of activity that I am happy with. I'm just talking about things like feeling like my life is going somewhere, putting myself into an overall better situation - one that is conducive to the kinds of activity I want to be involved in rather than one which is conducive to slop and also shit
There is also that I actually enjoy some games on a level which doesn't make me feel like I am a festering waste, so I won't ever stop playing games, but I will, in the event I manage to become a happier person, stop feeling comforted by the bullshit they provide for me and have the strength to ignore those games which only have 4-5% of life to 95% of slow death ratio.
Or, maybe the games aren't a product of the problem or the problem at all and I just see them this way because of other life factors. However, there might be something in that I still play games amongst the most out of all the people who I know from this circle and I am also expressing a more general dissatisfaction in my behavioural and thought patterns. Maybe they are connected, maybe they aren't. Maybe I'm universalizing some specific problems over other ones and one day I will be happy and still be playing all this bullshit.
Deep ambivalence and discontent. This post isn't a statement, really, it's just me pondering this and making the thoughts known. Use it as raw data for a hours gamed/suicide attempts graph.