I found a backup of RM stuff my brother stored for me because he was smart enough to realize my pc would eventually shit out.. ive actually gotten back into RM and understand the coding alot better as an adult and i found some old screenshots and it made me think of GW.. then I remembered this place turned into saltw so i figured i'd pop on over. im not gonna act like i was tight with really anybody here but what i can say at the very least is i remember the context and the atmosphere of old GW and man... i just gotta say what a time. a completely different time in my life and its odd that there are remnants of it, but as they say, all good things must come to an end. im happy to see this forum isn't just completely gone and there are others that feel the same way as me. i hope all is well, everyone. and thank you all for working on your projects and continuing to inspire the rest of us. life ain't easy but feeling nostalgic is.
edit: wow its amazing what simply seeing forum avatars can do to make your memory come back. good times.

friends I want to join a Gaming World discord... where is it???

 
this would be cool

here's a link to the discord a couple of us are in
 
https://discord.gg/ndPsHr2

Omcifer is my former username here but I'll be WellingtonSears from now on...Hello fellow oldbies

I have a grill outside of the mall at Wellington Green, and I am searing meat. A guy now sears outside of the mall at Wellington Green.

I found out a few years ago that I have some rare form of hypomania that never ever goes away and turns me into some notch below insane, living superhero.

Like, I can rationalize my shit and other people's shit but I have this permanently ingrained sense of humor with it that I cannot turn off and I think, analyze, turn things over in my head every motherfucking waking minute of the day.

I might sleep once for 4-6 hours every other or even third day because I don't need it.

I'm mentally and physically faster than most people, strong for my size. Im 5'9, 145 and can lift an excess of 200lbs.

My coworkers and ex girlfriend call me "popeye" because of it.

I walk around with earbuds in all day while I'm working like that kid off of baby driver because it tends to stifen the constant flow of flight of thought.

I do boxing and kickboxing nearly every goddamn day as a way to "center" myself. Because even if I don't, even if I bust my ass for 12+ hours I'll get increasingly eccentric and won't sleep


I ended up finding out when I was talking to a dr because I thought I had PTSD.

He said, "why do you think you have PTSD?"

I said, "because I get anxiety around open, overly populated places around dumbass people. I don't sleep. I can't rest, I can't stop and when I see someone being subjugated or bullied or a person being an insufferable asshole I want to beat their asses or resist, oppose them, deal with it."

He said, "do you need the sleep?"

Me, "no".

Him: "when you want to confront those people do they deserve it? Always?"

Me: "I wouldn't if they didn't."

Him: "you're hypomanic"

Me: "the fuck is that?"

So I spent a looong, long assed time trying to figure it out. Getting into trouble because of it. Self medicating to "turn it off". Getting into trouble for self medicating. Researching it. Learning to "harness" it I guess?

Which is kind of like directing a fire hose. I can point the shit but I can't fully control it.

Think Charlie sheen when he went on his tangent about being a warlock and shit. Same thing I guess, I'm not quite as pig headed though it's like being cocaine personified so it's hard not to.

There's a dr that wrote a book about it called, "the hypomanic edge" at john hopkins.

He theorized that 10% of the bipolar population has it and has throughout history.

Christopher Columbus, Henry Ford, Benjamin Franklin, Bill Clinton, and I'm convinced Charlie all had it.

He thinks it's not an illness or sickness of the mind but an evolutionary advantage.

All I know is it's hard as fuck to deal with the police when every fiber of your being is screaming to call him a punk motherfucker and kick em in the teeth. Especially when you look an act like you're at the peak of a 150 day coke binge.

Hard as fuck

After dealing with them again and again and it not really changing shit no matter which way I try to cope with it. Running from it for years. And having every woman ive ever dated ask me to stop self medicating because they like that personification of me better. And various people in my life telling me I had a gift, that it's a good thing I think I'm gonna try to go straight.

Im not quitting pot though fuck that, or liquor.

So I got my 200 ton captain's license a few months ago. And I finally got a job where I get to have a few weeks off every month. Think I'm gonna join a boxing gym and train. I like it, its fun. Also I get to be an unmitigated asshole and don't go to jail for it.

Also while everyone I've ever worked with loves me and thinks I'm a little gunned up, hilarious, genius. They also go inbetween thinking I'm completely fucking insane because if I don't have anyone to bounce my thoughts off of I'll walk around thinking aloud to myself and laughing maniacally.

Last tug boat I was on we blacked out for like five hours in the dead of winter attached to a sunken jackup in 20 ft side seas. Couldn't fix it without getting compressed air from an outside source. Everyone was sitting quietly on the bridge and I start giggling and shit hysterically.

The captain looks at me and asks,"what?"

I said, "we're gonna fuckin die" and kept laughing

I have no fear response. Atleast not like normal people. I can't deal with cops and I'm wary of this shit I have. I feel like it's a thing nobody should have. Like the atomic bomb.

But as far as being genuinely afraid I'm not usually. Just a couple hours ago I asked if I needed to climb the masthead again because im the only one willing/that can do it. We're in kind of choppy weather now but I need to change the nav light and I did it when we were docked a week ago so I was just gonna go do it.

The captain said, "fuck no not now"

Then the qmed looked at me and said, "you just don't give a fuck do you?"

And I started laughing because I don't

I figure im like a honey badger. We got alot in common, little motherfuckin tough assholes that aint afraid of shit and try to fight things bigger than ourselves.

I watched that documentary like 5 times and got a riot out of it. Honey badger don't give a shit.

Also, on another note my captain told me a story about how he got in a fight with ozzy Osborne in the 80s on Halloween night

"TWO THOUSAND MEXICAN QUALUDES IN THE TRUNK OF MY ROOMIES CAR

We walk into this bar in the dead of night and theres this table with fifteen people and there's fucking ozzy,incredibly fucked up buying everyone drinks.

He keeps doing it and I get shitty. Then out of nowhere ozzy gives me this look. A thousand yard stare. "OI MATE! The fuck you want mate? Why you lookin' over here! You want somefin' er'body wants someone from me. Whaddya want?"

Captain looking confused: "I....I don't want anything man."

Ozzy: "yeah you do! Everyone does! JUST FUCKIN SPIT IT OUT ALREADY MATE WHAT THE FUCK YE WANT!"

Captain: "man...what happened to you? You used to rock when you were with black sabbath but that "bark at the moon" shit fucking sucks.

Ozzy loses his shit and comes at cap. Cap grabs ozzy by the throat and gets jumped by like 10 roadies.

He said he's got a Polaroid of it im trying to get a copy of it and tag ozzy in it over social media. LMFAO

*cough

No but I'm gonna look him up and ill get back to you.

What's uo bro! Yeah I don't think therapy is a bad deal for people looking to work through their thoughts. I accidentally went to a therapist while looking to get legally treated for it. A nice older lady. She asked me why I was there and after explaining it rather alot like I just did here she told me that yeah I probably needed to seek a psychiatrist.


Well back then they wanted to give me a wreckless from the get go. Which I didn't want to settle before because it was bullshit. I couldn't afford an attorney at the time so I talked to a paralegal, she was awesome had my case set. But then the county switched my lawyers a week or two before court without telling me.

I ended up with this younger, prissy fuckin moron that was too busy flirting with the judge and the prosecutor to be concerned about my case. She started telling me in the courtroom I should settle for a dwi because I was fucked. I asked her if she even read up through my case or looked through my files id given the other lawyer. When she said, "no". I lost my shit in the courtroom.

I asked her whose fucking lawyer she was supposed to be. Then she said to cool it or i could be held in contempt to which I said, "BY MY OWN FUCKING LAWYER!?!?"

Then the judge asked me to come to the podium and for my medical file. He looked through it and offered me the wreckless again so I just took it.

It was only 3 months probation, community service, and some fines. To me that wasn't the point, I was tired of them fucking with me.