Hey. I figure it'll be a while before I finish enough for a new album/rar file and get a little more serious about promoting my songs, so here is one I just finished that I think turned out pretty well.
 
https://dl.dropbox.com/u/23900371/Hard%20Break.mp3
 
Let me know what you think of it. It's called Hard Break.

Hey. I figure it'll be a while before I finish enough for a new album/rar file and get a little more serious about promoting my songs, so here is one I just finished that I think turned out pretty well.
 
https://dl.dropbox.com/u/23900371/Hard%20Break.mp3
 
Let me know what you think of it. It's called Hard Break.

 
 
Not too bad but bit too much echo/ or is that called reverb

i lack the ability to talk intelligently about music, but i really liked this.
 
i always seem to leave your songs feeling like you really meant it, as if the music is a result of your life rather than just a song. i've probably told you this exact same thing about a dozen times before, but it's a really good trait. even if you're actually full of it and just wanted to make a song without conveying something, you did a good job fooling me, and i don't consider myself too easily fooled by this sort of thing(though i have been called incredibly naive¹ before so idk)
 
 
¹come to think of it, you were the one who called me incredibly naive, in which case you may have just put me² in checkmate
 
²i am such a dick to somehow turn this reply into something about myself. i apologize i hope other people can rip themselves away from justin bieber long enough to listen to this.

your occasional lack of lyrical rhythm (like the words are coming to you in spurts, but you have to get it all out right now!!) is unsettling, but otherwise it's good, especially the second half (will listen for comprehension later)

can't tell if the inconsistent sound at the end is just my computer or not

i think the timing of the first half is a little off through most of it now that i have listened to it a few times. that's because i did the first half first, and then by the second half i had fit into the rhythm of the song better when i was singing. so if i redo the first half, it should be okay. i think the timing in the second half is fine, though. maybe i'm wrong but i'm assuming the reason you think the second half is better is partly because the timing is improved.

oh yep, that is what I meant.

what programs do you use?  the echo is nice but it also makes it hard to understand you. diction and definitely ditch the reverb especially after the first part as I think you could express more emotion without it.   Don't be afraid to put some force into your voice.   Also vocals are a little high on the low-mids.   esiann is right about the vocals losing the rhythm in the second half of the song
 
those are my crits. its an okay song, and i think it has good instrumental and melodical ideas, but it could use a bit of revising/mixing up

she said the opposite - that the vocals are out of rhythm in the first half. anyway, i went over them today and re-recorded most parts, so all that should be fixed. i did EQ on the vocals, too, which is a new step for me. it did improve the clarity. i toned down the reverb during the verses but i like reverb, so i didn't get rid of it entirely.
 
still working on a few little things with it. i'll probably keep going over it while i am also working on other songs!
 
thanks for the advice - it's all very useful cos i am trying to get better at the producing side of things now, it is important.
 

as if the music is a result of your life rather than just a song

 
it's a nice compliment to hear, thanks. i think i am trying, and yeah in some way this is important to me which is why i insist on singing even though i am not great at it and if i just did instrumentals the songs would be 'better'.

she said the opposite - that the vocals are out of rhythm in the first half. anyway, i went over them today and re-recorded most parts, so all that should be fixed. i did EQ on the vocals, too, which is a new step for me. it did improve the clarity. i toned down the reverb during the verses but i like reverb, so i didn't get rid of it entirely.
 
still working on a few little things with it. i'll probably keep going over it while i am also working on other songs!
 
thanks for the advice - it's all very useful cos i am trying to get better at the producing side of things now, it is important.
 

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as if the music is a result of your life rather than just a song

 
it's a nice compliment to hear, thanks. i think i am trying, and yeah in some way this is important to me which is why i insist on singing even though i am not great at it and if i just did instrumentals the songs would be 'better'.

10 times better.

haha, what do you mean? i haven't uploaded the different vocal track yet. i will in a minute, though, i think. i'll post with it, and if anyone wants to tell me if they think it is improved that'd be good!

haha, what do you mean? i haven't uploaded the different vocal track yet. i will in a minute, though, i think. i'll post with it, and if anyone wants to tell me if they think it is improved that'd be good!

 
 
sorry I didn't have my headset on so I was hearing it from afar so I thought it was different. My headset can act like a stereo and max.

well i uploaded the new mix. it is the same filename, so just click the thingy and you'll hear the new version - if anyone who heard it before can tell me if comparatively it is improved, that'd be cool

she said the opposite - that the vocals are out of rhythm in the first half. anyway, i went over them today and re-recorded most parts, so all that should be fixed. i did EQ on the vocals, too, which is a new step for me. it did improve the clarity. i toned down the reverb during the verses but i like reverb, so i didn't get rid of it entirely.
 
still working on a few little things with it. i'll probably keep going over it while i am also working on other songs!
 
thanks for the advice - it's all very useful cos i am trying to get better at the producing side of things now, it is important.
 

Quote

as if the music is a result of your life rather than just a song

 
it's a nice compliment to hear, thanks. i think i am trying, and yeah in some way this is important to me which is why i insist on singing even though i am not great at it and if i just did instrumentals the songs would be 'better'.

sorry didn't read the other posts my bad.  i'll listen to the new version when i get home from work.   reverb is good just don't over use and don't let it ruin diction and dynamics.  what program/s are you using?

EDIT sorry if this is a drag to read. i pr much listen stuff so that i wont forget. bottomline: i think it's pr good but oddly enuf, it sounds like you got a good idea for the beat for the song but the sounds dont work it out imo in either of the songs. also get back to me asap re: the other song!!
 
ahahah hell yea?? Twin Shadows looks amazed, then bops along the song...
 
I agree with Hundley btw (good point H-dude) that your vocals, compared to most singers i've heard sounds real/honest and that's a pr good thing. arthur russell, elliott smith smiles to jamie...
 
I don't want to get into technical side of singing - thing tho cos idk it very easily leads to enforcing ideas on what is proper singing. I really like your vocals a lot the way they are - It's pretty different and imo soft/quiet-type of singing is an artistic decision/is a song or music style feature which can really distinguish. If Twin Shadows bellowed or Jeff Buckley quivered this then i'd wouldn't work out as well. I hope you do things that you really want to do/experiment with anyways.  If you needed to know singing inside out/want to learn some vocal effect, trick, technique, etc get better with it through professional channels, just find a Complete Vocal Training - teacher and Get It Dunn. *reggae tune*
 
Tho compared to last time (between the walls-album) it seems you have improved in vocals anyways?? or is it just managing to record them & double track/take them cleaner and more precisely?? we might never get to know... but i really, really like the unknown effect on your vocals (that some kind of slight constant/variable warble that imo seems like an sound effect than vocal one) that sorta obscures it a bit cos it really mathches with the Hoover-instrument/sound effects and the general feel of the song. i MUST get it... please, join my LABEL... new jack swing, new JAMIE swing...
 
other stuff more shortly 
 
* I think the mix is sorta good, what I can tell through my turdphones. I like it how the sounds are brisk, clear and clarified but mostly in balance and in uh mid-channel/sorta round stereo image - imo it's better that its not like idk grimes/twin shadows -wide in stereo image cos i think both of those have their music panned like most hipster dancepop. (max left to right with hella loudness/everything compressed to max volume and reverb.) 
 
* I like how the song is (or could be) seperated into two parts - the first parts with the lyrics and the second part with being just jamie's echoed/wailed/instrument-like "im not there" part (where the focus could be more on instrumental jam, sampling, etc). It's sorta already like this but just not longer and lacks any kind of details/improvisation/jam tho.
 
*I like the more complex rhythm pattern on "trouble" part!! heck!!!
 
*so yeah i think the only thing that imo would actually improve the song more than cosmetically would be changing & tweaking the drum sound - right now it's more or less midi drums (dry, semi-front in distance, bad dynamics, flat) so you could replace it with better VST/BeAtZ so that the song would really take off... it's a cool song already but i think you might even yourself like it better when you'd get better sounds for beats, with which you could mess around/make cool beatz or reverbs or dynamics or ANYTHING with. more toys...

where are the hard breaks

thanks for all of that, ramci, and also the other stuff you said about the other song in irc. i'm gonna redo the drums on what i've got so far and use new ones on new songs.