my favorite weird porn ever is the lemon-stealing whore video:
http://www.absoluporn.com/en/video-33512.html re: bonzi_buddy-- yo i've read about that before; it's interesting. many people attest to the physical/mental benefits of giving up porn, whether it's done for religious reasons or otherwise. i mean, it does make some sense. also i could attest personally to negative physical effects of porn but idk if we wanna get into personal discussion of sex stuff in this thread haha ?? i mean basically what i'm sayin is yeah it is overstimulation and being used to that can make it difficult to do things in other situations. i've definitely experienced getting stuck in a rut of specificity... but it's difficult to withdraw from porn when it's the only thing that gets you off, y'know?
on a similar note, has anyone heard of and/or tried
karezza sex? it's another one of those uncommon practices with maybe-sketchy evidence but plenty of positive anecdotes. it involves having sex without allowing orgasms (especially on the part of anyone with a penis). i mean, i can't orgasm from any sexual activities with a partner so i kinda do karezza without wanting to ha ha but i could see how purposefully backing off and coming down slowly could be an enhancing experience for someone who usually comes. if anything, it could give them more empathy for those of us who can't.
i do think that society places way too much focus on orgasms and that that is indicative of a larger cultural heteronormativity and sexism/misogyny-- most female-bodied people don't orgasm from the type and duration of sex that makes males do, and additionally there is a lot of pressure on women to "perform" (being very vocal, pretending to enjoy things, etc), prioritize their (male) partners, and to generally not actually have a good time during sex because that would make them a slut right??? and the ways to fix these problems often result in bad reactions from partners... if a woman tells her boyfriend that she's been faking orgasms for the past year (which implicitly means that she wants to not fake anymore and to learn to experience genuine pleasure with her partner), it's not uncommon for her to get a very negative reaction... i think this has to do with the societal semantics of being able to "make" someone come, which is weird and burdensome; everyone is responsible for their own sexuality and blaming someone for their sexual inabilities is definitely not the way to resolve them. hmmmm
sooo i ended up rambling about a lot of different porn/sex stuff but i think these are important thoughts and would like to discuss them~