spammm

I didn't know what a tower defense game is, but hey the wikipedia article is one of those enthusiastic, non-style-neutral amateur wiki articles you occasionally stumble upon. they use flowery fantasy novel language and exaggerate a lot, and kind of sound like a high school kid who gets an assignment to write a speech about whatever they want. everything ever is common and typical of the subject but also of immense historical importance and single-handedly revolutionized the subject and changed the world forever. this one goes further by not really having any cohesive order to it or reason for most of the information to be there, like it was written in stream-of-consciousness with a minimum word count, and maybe a single skimmed source article found 3/4 the way thru. it was written by that one self-styled gamer kid in class with spiked hair and expensive headphones, you publicly maintain a congenial relationship with him out of good nature and as a fellow devotee to the high art of gaming but secretly judge his level of intelligence as pretty low.

I didn't know what a tower defense game is, but hey the wikipedia article is one of those enthusiastic, non-style-neutral amateur wiki articles you occasionally stumble upon. they use flowery fantasy novel language and exaggerate a lot, and kind of sound like a high school kid who gets an assignment to write a speech about whatever they want. everything ever is common and typical of the subject but also of immense historical importance and single-handedly revolutionized the subject and changed the world forever. this one goes further by not really having any cohesive order to it or reason for most of the information to be there, like it was written in stream-of-consciousness with a minimum word count, and maybe a single skimmed source article found 3/4 the way thru. it was written by that one self-styled gamer kid in class with spiked hair and expensive headphones, you publicly maintain a congenial relationship with him out of good nature and as a fellow devotee to the high art of gaming but secretly judge his level of intelligence as pretty low.

i knew this guy in high school, college, and every job i've ever held. i avoided eye contact with him and answered "no" whenever he asked me if i had ever played a videogame before
 
back on topic: no, i've never played a videogame before.
 
i can only stomach reverse tower defense games like the saboteur where you have to go around destroying civilization because somebody has to color in that map, and you bought the fucking game already so that narrows it down. and i guess i kinda ONLY like the saboteur, really. my mind goes numb whenever i'm playing just cause or far cry or whatever for too long and i just get bored of everything and wander off into the mountains and jump off a cliff and hope the game disc melts or my save data gets corrupted and it never does.
 
i shouldn't be as hard on the just cause games, though, i've found those games pretty fun to play incorrectly. like i'd be going along with the nonsensical objectives but then there will be some cool mountain in the distance the game lets you climb, so i run off for an hour to run around the mountains. i end up kinda liking these games as just a nature hike simulator, and i usually only bother with doing what the game instructs me to do when the bad guys get mad and call the police because i wanted to stand at the high point that they didn't want me to stand on. i wonder if i'm the only person who did that with those games, just as a substitute for actually going out for a walk somewhere, just this vicarious replacement for something i completely possess the capacity to do on my own.
 
i didn't think i would leave this topic filled with such shame. i am the sort of guy i would elect against making eye contact with.

Quote from: Elder Chips on April 18, 2016, 04:12:05 am

the wikipedia article is one of those enthusiastic, non-style-neutral amateur wiki articles you occasionally stumble upon

 
my fave is the wiki p article for bulk vending machines

sweet. another case where I just assumed I'd be the only one to be interested in something dumb like wiki articles with exuberant disregard for wikipedia's style and citation standards. I guess it's like an unexpected, goofy appearance of the writer's hand where you were expecting flat pseudoclinical robot speak. I used to have theories about the similarity of the language used on wikia sites for games and tv shows, but now all I remember is how every page has a paragraph somewhere in the middle starting out "Interestingly," or "Strangely," followed by a tangent the writer wanted to write about at that point in time but isn't necessarily interesting or strange, or some trivia they couldn't be bothered to find a home for elsewhere in the article
 
that bulk vending article is real nice too. below that tip is a recommendation to use Ford Gum rather than dubble bubble, which purportedly is "reported" to be of a lower quality. The Ford Gum article is a stump with several short paragraphs, one pointedly mentioning it was promoted once by Ronald Reagan. I was psyched when I found the same IP that largely created the Ford Gum article, 24.54.208.177, was also a major contributor to the bulk vending article, but didn't expect to see the page created all the way back in 2005 by user Fordgumballs.
 
hundley I will always read when you write about bad or okay or part-good games I don't recognize and will never play. I am curious if you played fallout 4 though, I've avoided reading all reviews of it because they weren't posted here. I didn't finish it but I didn't like most of what I did play, and I practiced similar highpoint-finding behavior

hundley I will always read when you write about bad or okay or part-good games I don't recognize and will never play. I am curious if you played fallout 4 though, I've avoided reading all reviews of it because they weren't posted here. I didn't finish it but I didn't like most of what I did play, and I practiced similar highpoint-finding behavior

haha, thank you. you know, i saw you posted about fallout 4 in the other topic and i was inspired enough to begin writing my thoughts but stopped because, for me, writing about fallout 4 is kinda like writing about a meal i got from a suspicious restaurant, and i left with a vaguely positive experience overall, but only because i expected to 1) find a lot more pubic hair in the food and 2) to vomit blood several times in the parking lot and 3) need to be removed form the premises via emergency medical evacuation helicopter.

maybe i should write about fallout 4 to come to terms with it, though, because that i enjoyed some of fallout 4 is less a ringing endorsement of the game itself and more a fierce condemnation of the intellectually and socially undesirable mental state when i gave it my time. maybe i will write about fallout 4 to commemorate them releasing another bullshit dlc featuring useless content that nobody wanted or asked for, and they should be ashamed of charging money for the stupid, unnecessary thing. but i need to try this new dlc to see if it is truly the american slavery simulator i'm fully expecting it to be.

oh geez, I didn't even realize DLC was already released. I don't like the idea of needing to purchase DLC just to make the game a tolerably complete experience, but after skimming a synopsis of them it doesn't seem like that was a risk
 
I guess part of the reason I got T.O.ed at it is because I really did want it to be good. it was the only game I bought or played last year, and I think I even had reasonably low expectations based on fallout 3.

3 was very enjoyable to 4. Reddit seems to fucking LOVE the whole "build a castle for the fuckshit AI to stand around in." I'm very appalled that the AI is literally no better than it was in Oblivion.

yeah. I didn't like 3 as much as NV, which I had played first, but 3 had a ton of that hopeless wasteland-survival feeling that's wonderful. f4 is just like an awful mashup of the most sensational parts of GTA 5, Borderlands and Bioshock Infinity. I mean I haven't played any of those games, but based only on their trailers the connection is perfectly concrete in my head. I'm very P.O.ed