ok so all of a sudden (after my brothers gay film downloaded) some dll problems started occuring and now various programs (such as my smegging anti-virus) won't work. Essentially when opening the programs it says either msvcp71d.dll or msvcr71.dll were not found, and so the programs stop opening.
I've downloaded the .dlls and done everything I've found on the internet (putting them in system32, putting them in SysWOW64, putting them in the folders of the programs, trying to use a previouse compatability for the programs) with no success. Supposedly they are outdated dlls or something but I don't know. My PC is Vista64 and so doesn't come with them. Any help?

The are part of the Microsoft Visual C++ 2005 Redistributable Package, so you need them to run any program that was compiled with it.  Have you tried installing the packaged itself: here.

just tried installing it. No success.

Do you have any restore points to revert to?

nope.

Try installing this one too: Here.  This is the SP1 of the previous file.  If it still doesn't work, try what goat said, other than that I don't really know what could be causing this.

Have you tried virus and adware scans? Maybe check your start-up programs for anything abnormal?
I can't think of much else either. Maybe even try uninstalling Microsoft Visual C++ 2005 Redistributable Package from Add/Remove Programs in the Control Panel, and then reinstall.

I can't run the virus scanner because that also has the dll problem. I've removed the packages and reinstalled, also to no success

How would I find out about restart points and the whatnot? to be blunt would it be advisable to restore the pc to it's original settings, and if yes how would I do that in vista?

It seems very worthwhile at this point.

To enter safe mode, press F8 after POST (where it counts memory and shows your drives) and select "safe mode". It should ask you if you want to restore or continue to run in safe mode. Try to restore first, and if that doesn't work, continue in safe mode and try your antivirus / adware scans there.

For future reference, gay porn movies are supposed to have the file extension of a video container, such as .AVI or .MKV.

If you open a file named, for example, GAYARABPORN.AVI__________________.EXE, you might experience persistent problems like this.

Well it was Sweeny Todd or whatever Tim Burton's latest trash is called. My bro only likes gay films, not gay pron (he's one of them blasted hetros)

(notice: tim burton movies destroy your pc)

yeah Vista also hides file extensions
*will be restoring his PC tomorrow... will mostlikely be asking for more advice shortly afterwrads.

Yeah It works, thanks mr goaty goat
*Hugs