Uh for the record our team rarely ever had more than 2 heavies, and usually only one. We were smashing you with pyros and demos mostly 8)

It's sunday Sunday SUNDAY because that is the only GMT evening slot I am guaranteed to have off every single week, I'll check my shifts for the next few weeks and see what I can brew up.

edit: writeup tomorrow after work + the results of cow vs pyro.

Heyho, it's a writeup! Mostly from my perspective as I was playing too, so expect some details left out because I just wasn't at the scenes, and most of it to center around what I was doing. Cba to proofread so it's full of typos, grammar errors and repeated sentences probably repeated sentences probably repeated senteces probaly


Well this sunday Sunday SUNDAY began full of merriment with Jester howling and bitching over voice chat - "I'm not with that SF`Shado guy! Every game with him sucks and is boring if he's playing I QUIT". So after kicking him repeatedly until he got the notion that he wasn't going to be playing with us Jester calmed down and Laz informed us that Shado was one of his mates. Whoops, still gain one lose one swings and roundabouts I guess. But reallty we didn't care because Psyburn had joined and needed to die painfully.

The server was on badlands, which I totally love now despite previously bitching about it, and Jester of course hates it because it's boring so we switched to gravelpit which is only semi-boring. For those without TF2, gravelpit is a map with 3 RED control points in a triangle format. Points 'A' and 'B' are open for BLU to capture and when they are captured 'C' is capturable. Getting all 3 in the time wins the map for RED whilst defending to the end of time is a win for BLU. With the arena set we split off into teams and got a bunch of my crazy clannie mates to join in, including everybody's favourite Hades and Odin. Whilst waiting for the teams to fill and generally pissing about with our sprays, in particular covering up Jester's medical boobies with the FYI I'm A Spy spray, in the RED base spawn points, BLU launched a lightning offensive and quickly took over both A and B before we could retaliate, and then stormed through and capped C whilst we were just respawning and rubbing our weary bloodstained eyes. Oh dear, 2 minutes in and it's 1-0 already.

Time for Revenge! Verne's ass was going dooooown big time. Pretty much the whole team except me and Hades rushed over to point A and capped it quickly (A is notoriously hard to defend from the off but is pretty easy to defend when built up whereas B is generally the opposite). RED sent a few pyros and spies to try and stop the slaughter but it was pretty futile, the point was ours within seconds. Meanwhile at B Hades had his UBERCHARGE(god mode for the unitiated) charged up and was ready to pop it, and when he did I danced around nade jumping all over the base instead of killing people, much to his dismay. He fell down dead as soon as it ran out but I had managed to get onto the roof of the point and nobody had seen me. Mission accomplished! I snuck around to the window and tried to jump down onto the point but got hit by a graphical glitch and got stuck in mid air suspended against the corner wall in the roof. Maybe I was on a tiny little ledge I dunno, but I've never been able to emulate this despite trying repeatedly. RED was hopelessly unaware of their surroundings and even though 5 people were below me, nobody bothered to look up and see the little demoman waving to them repeatedly. When BLU caught up and rushed the point they started shooting out the windows, and didn't notice the 8 sticky 'nades sitting behind them all which soon made mincemeat of the closest few. Unfortunately the blast blew me back down to the floor and into the direct path of a sentry gun which soon tore me to shreds. It wasn't looking good for us and soon that 10 minutes of time turned into 2 minutes, and we just kept falling dead at their doors. Nobody was attacking together it was just constant solo charges which rarely ever work. A quick glance at the clock showed 30 seconds left. 30 seconds to cap the point. It wasn't looking good. There was only one thing left...PYRO RUSH! Quickly charging through the spawn tunnels I got to their point and found all of my team pretty much dead, and 6 or 7 of their guys standing on the point. Now points take quite a while to cap, a lot longer than 30 seconds, but if the clock reaches 0 and you are capping it goes into 'overtime' until all the attackers are left, or the point is capped. There was nothing to lose so I charged headfirst at the heavy just as he dropped his gun into the 'Fuck the incoming pyro' position. Suddenly Valve winked at me and I happened to roll 'critical' on my flamethrower. (Critical makes weapons deadly for a few seconds/shots and the chance is based upon your score; higher score more crits) For those not aware of what a critical flamer does to the enemy, imagine an ice sculture being hit by a napalm bomb. It's essentially a rapid fire area attack insta-gib nuclear cannon. In what can only be described as a rather bizarre firefight the end result was BLU 6 kills, RED 0. We capped the point with 0 seconds left on the clock. It looked insanely good but in reality it was mostly luck that won that situation, without the crit I wouldn't have gotten one kill without dying. Needless to say RED tore up chat with obscenities in my direction, but 'You have received additional time'. Hooray! Unfortunately the event had made the pyro sacred, and now everybody went pyro and we hopelessly failed to cap the final point in the extra 3 minutes time we received. Damnit now it was 2 - 0 and not even half time yet.

Back on the defense and in my favourite team colours, and it was our time to shine for once. Of course A fell within seconds because nobody ever defends A and the situation was looking grim at first. Fortunately we had a swarm of demomen at their spawn detonating nades as they came into the tunnels and managed to hold them back long enough to build up a sturdy defense. A combination of mass nade hoardes obliterating RED and a magical pixie that sapped the ability for RED team to figure out that repeatedly charging into nades will not make them stop killing you meant that this was a pretty short lived round, and for once we actually managed to hold off and win a game. Highlights here include Rowain bitching about how TF2 was crashing and someone getting autobalanced from the winning side to the losing one. Next game was rather unremarkable and not particularly worth mention. It lasted less than 2 minutes and we managed to level the score at 2 - 2. RED was probably staring at Medic Girl's boob spray in spawn instead of bothering to fight. Jester could only play for an hour so left at this point to go and cosplay transformers or some shit. Time for a map change and a team shuffle!


Dustbowlio! Hooray for everybody's favourite! Dustbowl is a 3-stage map with a seperate map for each stage. Each stage has 2 capture points on it owned by RED and BLU has to capture both of them, in order, to progress to the next stage. RED cannot recapture points so it's a pure attack/defence game and arguably the best official map in tf2 at the moment. Stage 1, as is the norm for my team for some ungodly reason, saw us absolutely useless on the defence and by the time I'd picked my class the map was over and we'd lost both points. Not sure what happened on the def, I never left the spawn point. Next round, and probably the best of the 3 stages, found us having Psyburn consistently whining over and over and over about needing his sentry achievement (10 kills by a single sentry without it being destroyed, see sig) and begging me to give him a good position for his sentry. I gave him one to shut him up (and put him well out of the way of the action lolllljoned) and setup my usual rooftop sentry. (lolsentry if you're that interested. Didn't take many shots this game so it's an old one from a couple of weeks ago. I'll add shots later on when I can be arsed to format them) Normally the sentries on this roof die within the first 30 seconds from an uber heavy or demoman obliterating it and smashing me to pieces, but for some reason BLU lost their ability to attack from the previous round and before I knew it, much to my delight and Psyburn's grief, I had 15 kills with my sentry. They just could not destroy it and I have no idea why. A few ubers managed to slip past me though and instead of blowing up my sent they decided to rush the point...and got wasted by Psyburn's sentry. One managed to take it out but regrettably it was just after he got the 10th kill; it's hilarious when his sentries die with 9 kills.  He got his achievement and the rest of the round had him bragging about it even though nobody cared and most of us already had it. The attacks started to slow up against us and I was curious why so darted over to their spawn to find 6 or 7 of our guys hounding them with heavies and pyros as they left the spawn. Pretty gay tactics but it made them fearful to win so we ended up winning the defence easily.

Next round began with the screams of PYRO RUSH! over voice chat and before we knew it there was 7 of us pyros on the point capping it - RED never knew what him 'em. As it finished capping the last point mysteriously started capping too. A guy had gone spy and decloaked on it without RED realising. They were all still respawning and powerless to stop him and we got victory within a minute of the game starting.  We all started laughing and cheering, whilst the screams of WHAT THE HELL ran across the screen in a lovely shade of red. Psyburn of course whined that we didn't wait for him when we capped the points (see sig) but we've learned to tune him out these days. Onto stage 2! I'm not sure what happened on stage 2 control point 1 as I forgot and all my notes here say are a loose scribble that looks like ONT-RODEL. I don't know what that means at all so lets skip to the next point. Most of the team was either dead or left behind, on both sides, and there was only two sentries guarding the final point and a couple of demomen. Me, Hades and anonymous generic medic #3135 (probably Rowain) were sitting at the point waiting for BLU to catchup and I had an idea. I told the guys to wait on the right and charge uber whilst me and my flamer snuck around to the left. I got into position and gave the shout to go for it and they stormed out glowing with an elegant sparkle that was only tainted by the giant minigun ripping the sentry on the right to shreds at point blank. Sentries are automated so automatically attack the nearest target in visual range and whilst the far left one was distracting pushing big fat Hades and his uber medic into the corner I jumped out from behind and the sentry soon suffered a fatal mechanical failure due to a wave of flames in the rear end. The lowly demomen left on the point soon fell and we held off the spawns whilst the team, that had now caught up, capped the point. It was looking good!

Not wishing to displease our new god the whole team decided to do an uber pyro rush and as the gates opened on stage 3 for the start of the round, we all surged forward with our glowing nuclear cannons of doom and smashed through the lines of sentries and sticky nades. Unfortunately I got launched into the air by a nade just as my uber wore off and as I returned from the brief visit to the skybox I died on the control point from falling damage. Not the most glamourous of deaths by the rest of the team already had control and pushed on forward whilst I respawned. Most of us changed over to heavy and demomen when we died and soon we were once again cutting through their defence like a hot knife through butter lolcliche and the map was ours. Unfortunately Psyburn wasn't with us on the cap so we had to put up with his 'guys you didn't wait for me' whines again. We were almost 2 hours into the games at this point and I got bored of note taking so there isn't anymore notes after this and as such I have no idea if anything worth mentioning happened. So that's the end of the writeup!

A big thanks to all of the GW people who turned up, including Verne, Neophyte, LordTyphoon, ObviousDelirium, Kaworu, Psyburn, Jester, Rowain, Untitled and Laz. If I missed ya out gimme a bell and I'll add you to the list. Also play better and stop being so bad nobody notices you're playing.
If you missed out don't worry, we're playing again this sunday Sunday SUNDAY same time same place, so join in and let me stab you in the back repeatedly for my stats.


And now what you're all really interested in..the final result of Cow vs Pyro

actually you weren't you quit, sorry jester.

Try playing badlands as a Spy.. it's a helluva lot of fun.