i've spent all week telling peopel to f off, does it work? no, because about 300 peoples come into town a day and leave. it's eugene for god sakes, it's not the fact they want to convert me it's the fact that I get a doorbell ring every few minutes. I'm almost not exaggerating, I can't put up a gate because I don't really even have a yard (backyard doesn't count). And for people who say I'm over exaggerating, I live in eugene, only things here are a mall, a bunch of homeless, and people who want to sell crap or convert a religion or both.I don't mind the ads, I don't mind the insane homeless hordes, I don't mind the religious, I DO mind getting asked if I accept jesus as my lord and god when I'm in the middle of watching something on tv, then when I go back and sit down, Someone else knocks on the door a few minutes later, The amount of times I have sat up and down this day alone I should have buns of steel and the ability to crush a human head between my thighs (sounds great). and by the way, I really don't care at all what you find offensive or retarded about me, I never asked for your opinion on THAT subject (yet), because for some crazy, insane, mad, mentally ill, and odd reason, I really didn't ever care to begin with! =D If I did I would of made this thread "Share your opinion about me while I spit out offensive shit on the towns people thread" which would be locked on site probably. Can you really blaim me for being severly annoyed by annoying people who knock on my door near 50 times per day asking me about shit that a nine year old could tell never happened if there parents weren't so sure that it did happen they programmed it into there brain.

Since it seems to very hard to imagine i'll detail the problem more carefully.

I have a porch right next to a corner sidewalk, no front yard, only a backyard and a small public alley on the right hand side of the house, and I have no room for any gate or fence, I can't legally own any form of guard dog whiel I live here,now heres an example of my day, I wake up, brush my teeth, shower, eat, answere the door, sit and relax, answere door, play some games, answere door, go help my friend dig up his yard so he can later level it, go home, eat lunch, answere door, play computer, answere door, go back to playing computer for about twenty minutes, answere door, play Xbox 360, half way through game awnsere door, miss spell answere, eat dinner and answere door 1 - 3 times during, strain out a massive log that abraham later uses to build his house of shit logs, watch a movie maybe, play video games, awnsere door, go to bed.

I made the schedule yesterday and wrote down every detail worth writting down. replay that for about a month or two. you would probably be willing to kick a priest in the face at this point. cops don't respond because frankely, unless it's murder, theft, assualt, or anything that effects them, they don't give a shit. about a month ago I stopped listening to what the people have to say and all that shit because frankely I didn't care in the first place and see no reason why I should listen. It's also hard for me to ignore things that don't instantly stop after five or so seconds.  it's also hard to listen to a  movie while this is going on    KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! Don't you think? And I doupt a "Fuck you go away fag" sign at my door would help much either, BECAUSE I'VE TRIED THAT!you know what they did? knocked it over. yep. and beause the fact the door probably costs money I don't want to nail it into it, not that that would stop them. and since the porch is white I doupt sheeps blood would be healthy for it. If I wanted to hear shit about how you think I'm lying, I would go to a chat room, were they could say it in one sentance instead of taking a full post. seriously, damn.

Achiro, you seriously are awesome. I laughed for like 5 minutes when I read this, perfectly delivered.

I too am an atheist, but I have made sort of a name for myself (not allowed in a few churches), and Christians generally don't approach me. It is usually me that is doing the converting, as the best thing about christians is their flawed teachings. If you can hit the right facts at the right times, EVERY conversation with a christian will lead to "Well you have faith, despite all the facts." Once you get to that point, you have the right to say "get the fuck out, and don't come back until you have a REASON to believe in something."

Don't fall for that agnostic bullshit either, the burden of proof is an argument for cowards.

I would use that way but
*school house fun facts music*

(1) This town generally shifts community once a day so if you do make a name for yourself it will be gone fast
(2) I don't any time I'm willing to fund to some guy who think's man kind came from dirt and an old guy build a alrge ship by himself in a few days and managed to round up every existing animal ever made AND HAVE THEM FIT on the boat and not eat each other or have the boat sink then suddenly earth completely fluds over and only the people on the GIANT arc survive, not everyone else who had a boat.
(3) I spend alot of my time trying to unclog the toilet from my giant log so that contributes to (2)

KNOWLEDGE IS POW3R!!111 (Crushes pomeranian with mind powers)

by the by, While I was posting this a kind young gentlemen came to my door and asked me....IF HE COULD USE MY PHONE :O I was so shocked that I pissed all over and vometed a baby and he ran off screaming.
Oh woe is me. At least I have something to throw at zealots now.