Get rid of her stop making excuses.

Over the years I've had similar problems with anger. I had electrical tape on my bedroom door for years covering a hole I punched in it. When I was in sixth grade I picked up a desk and used it to hit a guy who smacked me in the back of the head with a rolled up magazine...I lost my tie (basically a totem, because my father gave it to me) at one of my band's concerts and promptly went outside to beat the shit out of a telephone poll. (I had to drive my drunken bandmates back from our out of town gig with a hand that was swelling and stiffening up around the steering wheel.)

As bad as that may sound - at least the recent one with the tie...this is actually me under at least a modicum of control.

Mkkmypet's post was really great, especially with the lists of things to do that help.

I find art, music, gaming, and writing all help me. Another way I try to keep myself in check is to remind myself of what my anger could lead too. If I'm pissed off at one of my band members, I can feel that I'm about to just go off on them...I know that if I do, no matter how good it might feel to get whatever it is off my chest, it will end up hurting me in the long run because I'll be splitting up one of the few good things I have. It sounds selfish, but anger is very selfish. You have to remind yourself what can happen to you if you give in.

These are my reminders - I could end up in jail, in the hospital, in a psych ward, or in a morgue. What about any situation is worth that list of risks?

One of the main things that set me off is that other people don't put me first. Truly, I don't expect them too - that isn't their job. The guy who cuts me off in traffic because he's in a hurry - so what, I get rushed sometimes too. The clerk at the bank who doesn't know how to fix a mistake which falsely overdrew my account - big deal, some people just suck at their job. They're putting themselves first, its their right.

I have to put myself first - my oxygen mask goes on before I try to help anyone else with theirs. I can't control what is going to come at me from outside, all I can do is try to manage how I respond.

My band is kind of my therapy. At least once a week I get to go jump around and scream for three hours at practice. Also, I find that pushups and weights are good. I generally run out of arm endurance before I run out of anger, but then at least I'm too tired and sore to do much about it.

Basically, you need to find ways to distract yourself long enough for the anger to erode to a manageable level.

If your girlfriend is one of your main stressors then a social occlusion might help you. You don't need any extra triggers in your life, but you have to strike a balance because you can't always run away. It could get to a point where - girlfriend causes anger...break up with her, driving causes anger...don't drive, people ask you to repeat yourself when you talk which makes you angry...don't talk. Some people might be able to cloister themselves away from the world that way...but for regular people, we just have to make an effort with dealing with it.

The biggest thing, at least with me, is the fact that what I am REALLY angry about is almost never what sets me off. You need to try to discover what the main issue for you is. You may not be able to do anything about it, depending on what it is, but for me just knowing what I am really angry about helps to keep me from blowing up as bad when extra attritions crop up.

I can say in all honesty that everyone can fall into the stage of life where their emotions and anger fly out of control. It is a matter of finding how you can vent it in a more positive way yes.

I know I can get really crazy the more I bottle up my anger so don't try bottling it up, it will just get worse exponentially. Instead try leaving the situation thinking, talking it out to yourself and coming back to it when you feel like you can handle it better. I usually use this method and find that I am not nearly as mean or hurtful, I don't throw my punches are get into physical fits with other people because of thinking out what to say and do about it calms me down a little. I might get a little over zealous when I do end up dealing with it but that doesn't mean I am just as bad as I was when the fit of anger started.

Another way is to use that anger and frustration to feed or latch into another part of your life, use it when you want to train up for something like sports, it's one of the techniques you'll find that personal trainers try to get you to use to work harder and better than you would normaly.

The normalcy of physical fits of rage for boys your age (usually 18-30 years) are usually at the peak and wind down as you get older. Don't worry, it really is a lot more normal than your thinking it is.

Well I can say from personal experience that alcoholism is not a good way to deal with problems so don't try that!  Drinking instead of eating is a good way to lose weight though

And yes you obviously have an anger problem and yes you need to dump your girl.  If a girl puts you down, get out.  Nobody should put up with selfish brats like her who aren't nice to their boyfriends.

I heard on a public radio show that when you are about to throw a fit, venting won't make you any less angry.  The chemicals surging through your brain that cause you to go into a fit have a short period of time that they are active, but you can't do anything about them - you just have to ride the wave out.  This is why therapists advise counting to 10 when you feel like exploding because it is usually long enough for your system to calm down.

Do you exercise?  Like jog or swim or something?  I recommend doing that on a regular basis - especially when you feel down.  It works wonders.  Many antidepressants don't do anything other than force the same brain activity that occurs during exercise.