Rant So I have this friend... (Read 985 times)

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There's this guy I've known for like 7 years now, and lately he's lived a ways away until me and another friend went to go get him. Once we had gotten him and got all the way down here we find out he has no plans and what to do. He had a good job and a good home until he fell out with his stepdad. I can't stand hanging around him anymore because he's very unstable and easily irritated, and he's always, ALWAYS wanting to smoke or if we don't have any, look, for some pot.  Lately he's been staying at his grandma's which is very close to where I live until my friend took him back down to Rogersville where we got him and left him there (he thought he was just getting his last check and coming back). Now, the next day, he's back at his grandma's having walked/hitchhiked there.

He's way more unstable and psychotic than he used to be. He thinks he has it worse than anyone and that the world owes him something. Just the other night he's talking about how pot's the only thing he has left anymore. I already know he's stolen from me in the past, and I'm always afraid he'll snap cause just being around him gives you the same feeling of being a around a ticking time bomb.

I'm thinking about a restraining order, confrontation doesn't do any good with him, after 7 years if there's one thing I've learned, trying to put him in his place just makes things worse.

This is bull crap, I hate having to close my blinds at night and lock the doors. He used to be a semi-ok guy but now I just don't know. Me and my other friend were talking seriously about having him committed, but I think that's already been tried and failed.

Mom's going out there to tell him not to come around or be bugging us. Being friends him is one life mistake I've having a harder time correcting than anyone should.
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heh I'm having some trouble with some mooch friends right now but its nothing like this

I dont know if you need a restraining order though that sounds pretty ridiculous
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My dad was ranting about him too the other day and John overheard so when's it's just me and my other friend a couple days later he's like "You're dad needs to stop talking crap before I come over and seriously damage your guy's property" his exact words.
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Yeah you need a restraining order dude.
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Man just be straight forward with him, tell him he's really bringing you down and you don't want to hangout with him until he straightens his shit out.

If he says anything about fucking with your shit or threatens you, go to the cops or wait for him with a baseball bat. But the best thing to do is to just tell him straight out that you don't want anything to do with him, don't send mixed messages because he won't leave you alone if he still thinks you're his buddy.


EDIT: IMO abandoning him like that and sending your mom to talk to him is just letting him know that you're scared of him, you need to go with your other buddy and lay it out for him then he should leave you alone. If not then I'd call the cops.
Last Edit: September 05, 2008, 09:01:20 pm by Harry Manback
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Okay, you basically don't know how to deal with someone like him and did some pretty stupid things.

1) Abandoning him has made things worse for YOU, and he's going to put that against you to justify whatever actions he takes against you. Or in this case your friend who did it.

2) Sending your mom pretty much tells him your scared of him, so this gives him courage to try and "put you in your place" and all around boss you around or pretty much threaten you.

3) From what I understand from your post, he has or thinks he has nothing to lose. That means that normal confrontations are useless, and you should get a restraining order. However you don't threaten him that you'll do it, and you better let him know or make him think that if he tries to go against it you will make sure that the law be carried out to it's full otherwise your just going to piss him off and he'll hold a long lasting grudge against you.
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My mom took him to get Medicaid and foodstamps. Sounds like he might be getting some help. While for the time being he isn't welcome around here at least hopefully he's on the road to getting better. Putting him on med's might be the solution, even if it is a last resort. He seems to have gotten slowly but progressively worse since I've known him, I hate to see him in another 20 years if he doesn't get it fixed.
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My dad was ranting about him too the other day and John overheard so when's it's just me and my other friend a couple days later he's like "You're dad needs to stop talking crap before I come over and seriously damage your guy's property" his exact words.
That's when you say "You need to stop talking shit before I come over and seriously damage YOUR FACE", fake like you're gonna punch him, and when he flinches call him a faggot and tell him to shut up. If anything you'd get a laugh out of it with your buds.

Why do you even hang out with this loser? Tell him you don't want to be his friend.
Last Edit: September 06, 2008, 02:52:02 am by DietCoke
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I had a really irritating friend like that and i told him indirectly not to meet me anymore. You should do the same.
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That's when you say "You need to stop talking shit before I come over and seriously damage YOUR FACE", fake like you're gonna punch him, and when he flinches call him a faggot and tell him to shut up.

Amen.   Are you a big person or a strong person?  If fighting scares you then I'm sorry but if it was me I'd kick the shit out of anyone
who threatened me or my property.  I hate dopers anyways, fuck this idiot.  He sounds a lot like a "friend" I used to hang out with a bunch.  I pretty much abandoned him but he's scrawny and weak and knows I could kick the shit out of him just by looking at him funny, so there's never confrontation from any decision I choose to make myself.

Tell him to get online and look at these posts, I bet that'd make things a lot better.  :fogetlaugh:
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You guys are not very diplomatic and beating him up probably won't do anything but make him more of a problem (since he knows where you live and shit).

My suggestion would be to just make yourself very uninteresting to hang out with and also busy all the time! Be really friendly with him when you happen to see him but otherwise never hang out with him. I have scared away many people who were my friends but then turned into douchebags, many for a very similar reason as the one you described!

But seriously, the idea is to make it obvious you don't really enjoy hanging out with him and, at the same time, make yourself not very enjoyable to hang out with so he just leaves you alone out of his own volition.

This is worse than direct confrontation but better than fighting him since not everyone is cowed by an ass kicking.
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