Birthday Saw V (Read 1125 times)

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that key eye thing was in a saw movie already.
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6. Hello. It's me. Jigsaw. Yup. THE Jigsaw, bitch. You might notice you're hanging upside down from your dick. You might also notice that below you are spikes. Your task is simple. You must swing to safety but you can't swing too hard... or else...

that key eye thing was in a saw movie already.

What? How did he get the key in his eye
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Wasn't it in someone elses eye though?
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6. Hello. It's me. Jigsaw. Yup. THE Jigsaw, bitch. You might notice you're hanging upside down from your dick. You might also notice that below you are spikes. Your task is simple. You must swing to safety but you can't swing too hard... or else..
I would watch this
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7. Let's play a game. You are shackled to a pipe by your wrist, and in front of you is a girl with razor sharp metal teeth. The rules of the game are simple: use the handsaw beside you sacrifice your hand and free yourself, or experience the must gut-wrenching act of fellatio ever seen to man.

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11. welp HELO TO TYOU SIR i thnk you wil notic that ther is a tv in front of you buit i am afraid what it is yo udont know is tht it is abotu to play season 11 of mash. at thee end there is the combination to yuopr locks.

**hatch opens revealing gun...................**********

or perhaps you oculd just...............

end it now.

the choigce is urps.
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12.Hello Jared.

Lets play a game...

You have spent your entire career convincing people to eat subway sandwiches for their health. When the truth is, subway sandwiches really aren't all that healthy.

Well now Jared it looks like you have a choice to make...

I have replaced on of your testicles with a small neutron bomb. There is a detonator for the bomb with a switch to disable it. But the detonator is at the bottom of a vat of superheated vegetable oil. Hidden in one of the many Chicken Mcnuggets I've dumped into the vat for frying. The bomb will go off when the chicken mcnugget containing the detonator floats to the surface and is exposed to the air.

You Jared, must reach into the vat and locate the chicken nugget that has the detonator in it.

Oh, and Jared... I wonder how much cholesterol you can burn in the next few minutes

Last Edit: October 27, 2008, 04:33:43 am by Coxswain
DEUCE: MEETING THE URINE UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL AND REALIZING IT'S JUST LIKE ME AND MY PREJUDICES  THIS WHOLE TIME WERE COMPLETELY FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF PTTTTHTHTHH GOD IT'S EVERYWHERE<br />DEUCE: FUCK THIS TASTES LIKE PISS<br />PANTS: WHERE IT SHOULD TASTE LIKE COTTON CANDY OR PICKLES<br />DEUCE: OR AT LEAST LIKE URINE NOT PISS
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13. Watch saw V
m
ohap
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14.

 :fogetunsure: : Where... Where am I?

 :doom: : Foget, hello. Let's play a game.

 :fogethuh: : Hello? Soap? Is that you?

 :doom: : You have not appreciated life to the fullest, therefore you have ended up here.

 :fogetangry: : This is not funny, whoever that is! Reporting this to the admins!

 :doom: : They can't help you. You think they are going to do anything? Your naivety amuses me.

 :fogetgrr: : Do you know who you're fuckin with? It's me. Foget, bitch.

 :doom: : You might notice that you're strapped to a table and you have some cheese on your dick. You might also notice that the room is surrounded by rats. This television screen will soon play the movie "Snatch". The password to the voice-activated device that will free you is located somewhere in Brad Pitt's dialogue. Hope you can understand 'pikey'.

:fogetgasp:
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I just saw this, it wasn't anywhere near as bad as Jojoface said but it was definitely the worst of the 5. Hopefully the next two will be better, Saw has it's ups and downs.
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Dude. It WAS that bad man. Seriously, it was awful.


Also:

14. i am jigsaw. You may notice that there is a noose around your neck. All your life you hated black people...
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I have a new idea for a horror movie. It's called "www.rotten.com". The whole thing is just the first person perspective of someone browsing www.rotten.com and looking at gore. Give the audience hwat it wants...
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Saw has it's ups and downs.

They should make the next one Seesaw

15. You and the person across from you are attached to a seesaw. If either of you stop the motion of the seesaw when the timer starts, you will die. You must continue playing this game for 2 hours and 15 minutes. Also, there is a canister of acid inside your stomach. It will explode when the seesaw stops. ...Go.
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Man I didn't even know Saw IV was out and there is already a V.  I wrote a report once about how successful Saw I-III and Hostel were and how it is a bad sign for humanity.  These movies make so much money it is gross.  I think this happens because half of the people in this thread are complaining about how bad the movie is - because they went to see it.
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Man I didn't even know Saw IV was out and there is already a V.  I wrote a report once about how successful Saw I-III and Hostel were and how it is a bad sign for humanity.  These movies make so much money it is gross.  I think this happens because half of the people in this thread are complaining about how bad the movie is - because they went to see it.

I bet the people who write those articles make a lot of money too
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It's #2 in the Box Office :(
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At least it's not number one.

GO HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3

But seriously Saw is a pretty god awful series. There's plenty of good horror coming out still but fffuuu stuff like this and Hostel 2 (the first wasn't that bad guys) is shitting all over the genre and not giving it any more respect even though it's generally evolving past bad supernatural slasher shit. Not to mention all the J-horror remakes and so on (liked the ring though).

I liked the first because it was well done and interesting the first time I saw it and it was made by two Aussie guys who never thought they'd be in Hollywood. As far as I know they basically severed all ties with the series after that and it's just being pushed out for money (surprise surprise heh). I thought this was the last one as well! How many fucking movies can they make this last for if everyone is dead (I haven't seen IV or V because III was so thoroughly terrible I wanted to stay far away).

Saw III was seriously so bad. Has anyone seen Stay Alive? I have to make a topic for that because that movie was so disgustingly bad but it was also awesome with dialogue like MAN A GAME HASN'T SCARED ME LIKE THIS SINCE FATAL FRAME and I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOU...EXCEPT YOU'RE A WEAK GAMER. saw iii had nothing redeeming.

fuck saw
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I love all of the Saw movies, and I loved this one. The first one is easily the best, as with any horror franchise reaaly, but the sequels are good too imo. Unlike other horror series, the Saw series has near-perfect continuity. The movies constantly reference each other, and the same characters always return (or at least mentioned, even the minor ones). It's gotten pretty popular, so naturally when something becomes well known, it's cooler to hate it I guess. But, I mean, look at how the other horror "classics" have turned out by their 5th film...

A Nightmare on Elm Street - The 2nd movie is totally ignored, and the 5th and 6th movies are hands-down the worst in the series, and the 7th movie, though one of the better sequels, doesn't take place in the same  universe.

Friday the 13th - This was a disaster of a series from the start, but how does Jason go from being a kid in part 1 to a grown ass adult in part II if the two movies supposedly takes place only a few months apart?

Halloween - Won't go there. The 3rd one might as well not even be in the same series, and movies 4-6 were practically wiped from existence when H20 came out.

Unless there's a "Jigsaw in Space" or a "Jigsaw goes to Manhattan," I think the Saw series have a ways to go before becoming the "worst" anything. Hostel was a horrible inferior clone and its sequel deservingly flopped. The 1st Hills Have Eyes was forgettable, and the second one was a complete joke.

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Dude the 7th elm street was the best because it was way more than slasherfest, it was kinda a more successful version of scream (with life imitating and being affected by art) Elmstreet 3,4, 5 and 6 are pure garbage because it tried to establish a form of continuity which isn't always clever when the premise of the films are SCARY SLASHER DREAM KILLER.

Saw is utterly dire. The whole approach to violence in them is closer to fetish than to horror. It's overly gratuitous and in a sick way glorifies the violence in such a way that it feels like it's purpose is to desensitise people to gore. As a series it has no real redeeming factors... unless you like snuff films. It's "cool" to hate Saw, because they are garbage, and just appeal to your average moviegoer with no real idea of movies as something other than entertainment. To dismiss valid criticism as people trying to be "cool" is stupid. It's baffeling how someone could still think that after being here for six years.
Continuity is effectively useless when you make it overly convulted about how he had set up all of these traps for after his death, enough to make endless sequels worth and milk as much money out of this unimaginative franchise until it becomes unpopular(which is how Hollywood tends to work, particularly with instant gratification movies such as horror/slasher), and so this amaziing story serves little more than the hamburgers waiting on the rack at mcdonalds ready to be consumed by someone. Yeah. Saw movies are hamburgers.
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the other night

i did see saw 2

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