This year, without a doubt, has been a year in gaming with many great moments. Games like Grand Theft Auto IV and Metal Gear Solid 4 were heavily praised this year by critics for their innovations and improvements in gameplay and scale, I on the other hand will give the games from this year a slightly different critical analysis...
how big their balls are.
5. Joseph Turok
[/center]
Okay, Turok may not have exactly set everyone's worlds alight; but Turok was quite bad-ass. Okay, okay, his mohawk may not to exactly 'hip' and the fact he once belonged to the Military group 'Wolf Pack' may stink of cheese, but... he stabs up dinosaurs like they're nothing. When you're playing as Turok, the first thing you notice is the fact that the knife is so incredibly over-powered that you happily stroll about the jungle knifing any overgrown lizards in the neck. Sweet.
Hit
this link to see Turok's happy-fun-stabbing-times in action.
Ball-size: Two golf balls - Not too shabby.[/b]
4. Ethan Thomas
[/center]
Anyone remember Ethan Thomas from Condemned: Criminal Origins? No? Well, that's no suprise... because he was pretty shit in that game. Thankfully in Condemned 2, they pumped his balls up a bit and now he's a drunk who spends his weekends having crazy hilucinations and beating druggies around the face with bricks and sledgehammers. This man is hard.
Ball-size: Two oranges - Someone who every man should aspire to be.[/b]
3. Marcus Fenix
[/center]
Marcus is a man of few words (other than "eat shit and die", naturally) and usually lets his chainsaw-assault-rifle-hair-drier-banana-gun do the talking for him when he's busy murdering a horde of giant bugs. With Gears of War 2 being one the bigger (and manlier) games out this year, it's no suprise to see Mr Fenix curb-stomping his way to number 3 on this list.
Ball-size: Two basketballs - An angry man who settles his problems with violence.[/b]
2. Old Snake
[/center]
Snake was a hard decision to put on this list, because he's not as manly as he used to be as he's growing quite old and fragile... but then I took into account that he's this old and he's
still willing to fight? Very impressive. He might not be knifing dinosaurs or attacking the Locust with chainsaws; but he's willing to crawl across the middle of a warzone while bullets narrowly miss his head. He's got balls. The only catch is however, many people suspect he doesn't actually have balls due to the fact he's a clone... but we'll ignore that.
Ball-size: Two zorbs - If he does have any balls at all, they must be massive.[/b]
1. Your Level 80 WoW Character
[/center]
When the infamous PC game/drug, World of Warcraft, was almost about to slip off the radar for a bit to make way for these other MMOs... Blizzard go and release Wrath of the Lich King. While many people are excited about the Death Knights and the new areas, we all know the real star of the game is: you. It doesn't matter that your wife left you while you were grinding Wraiths in the Western Plaguelands, it got you to level 60. It doesn't matter if you put on an additional 500 lbs when you never left your seat for six months, just mining Felweed in Shadowmoon Valley, it got you all those camouflage potions you wanted to sell. Now you've grinded your way to level 80, recently slaying Kel'Thuzad and you dream about strangling the Lich King in his sleep. Your level 80 WoW character has gone through more stuff than any other character in the world has.
Your character is true a man.
You, on the other hand, are an idiot.
Ball-size: Quite close to two moons that would orbit a planet similar to Jupiter.[/b]
Gaming World Forums
Top 5 Manliest video game characters of 2008 [list] [humor] [discussion]