My 5 worst celebrity perfumes of 2008 WHO DOESN’T LOVE LISTS! LISTS LITS LTIS LSITS LISTS!!!
Lets face it guys, black women aren't as successful at selling celebrity endorsed perfume as white woman are. Like who wants to stink of Naomi Campbell when you can smell like the beautiful Christina Aguileria? Answer: No one. Just because you game doesn't mean you shouldn't care about smelling good! I often work up a sweat when training in Super Smash Bros and if me and a certain female friend are having a 'Gaming Date' of course I want to smell my best so I can 'get some' afterward! It’s about time someone cracked down on these perfumes with some real GW styled criticism and I'm just the guy to do it!
5. ‘Devil Woman’ by Sir Cliff Richard [/size]
Brilliant! Now I can smell like the oldest man in the world: Sir Cliff Richard. I’ve always wanted to connect intimately with Cliff so this is something I would buy not only for my Grandma but even for myself, although I would have preferred a more phallic shaped bottle. To be honest I didn’t even know ‘Sir’ Cliff was still alive and he’s well known for being an outspoken Christian so I find it pretty hypocritical as a Christian myself that he would use the ‘D world’ as part of the name for his perfume range. I think a name like ‘Biblical Woman’ could have been much more suitable.
Rating: 2.5 Stinks out of 5. About as interesting as Cliffs musical discography
4. 'Curious' by Britney Spears [/size]
Firstly, let me just state that in my opinion Christina has superior vocal talents and is highly underrated in comparison to Britney
. I also take particular offense to the name 'Curious' and I think it was chosen in bad taste. Britney is basically exploiting all the truly 'curious' girls out there, do you think Britney Spears is really wondering about her friends vagina? I highly doubt it.
Probably the best criticism I have heard regarding this perfume is that the scent lasts about as long as Brit and K-Feds marriage lolo.
3. 50 Cent ‘Body Spray’ [/size]
I would never say this to 50 in real life because I fear him but I have to be completely honest with my ‘gw bros’, I don’t want to smell like the sweaty towel “FIFTY SCENT” uses at the gym after a hot and heavy massage from Eminem. What’s next T Pain musk? 2Pac- Dear Mama perfume? I gave this stuff a try the other day at my job as a receptionist at EA games and it totally stuffed up my whole weeks worth of trying to get on the bosses good side. I had been working my ass off all week in order to possibly meet my personal hero Brett Sperry (creator of the Command and Conquer series). My boss commented that he found my personal aroma far too abrasive and I smelt more like a “local street thug” than a professional employee, I was devastated but he did have a point this G UNIT stuff was too much of an aggressive urban scent for the workplace.
NOT RECOMMENDED
Rating: 2 Stinks out of 5.!
2. Jesse McCartney ‘Wanted’ [/size]
According to the press release for this perfume the shape of the bottle was intended to resemble a drop of water or the tear of a lovesick teen. I tasted some of this before wear and it did actually taste quite a bit like the tears of a young girl. Apparently however he is attempting to target actual women instead of teenagers and was heavily involved in choosing the most desirable scent.
If its as heavily involved as he is in making his own albums then that is most certainly a lie.
Rating: 1 stench out of 5.
1. Luciano Pavarotti- Pavarotti Donna [/size]
There is only one perfume idea worse than this one and that is Michael Jackson perfume, no one wants to reek of children, monkeys and candy bars. However, I can’t be bothered making jokes about MJ so instead we are talking about the perfume made by the fattest loudest Opera singer in the world. Apparently his natural odor gained him thousands of adoring female fans and on his death bed Pavarotti stated that his only regret was doing 2 songs with U2. This particular fragrance is targeted towards women who want to smell like Pavarotti, some of the females in his life include his beautiful mature wife who was originally his secretary. For those women who want to smell like an overweight Italian man than this is your best opportunity.
Rating 0 stenches out of 5.
Never underrate the importance of a good perfume, believe it or not but even gamer’s sweat. Sometimes Call of Duty 5 gives me a pretty sore arm from moving the mouse so quickly toward my enemies. That is why I always have a bottle of Celine Dion’s fragrance sitting as near as possible so I can quickly sprinkle some on my wrist without distracting myself from winning all the time. Plus it always pays to smell good at the ‘gaming gym’
lan party in case any ‘hotties’ turn up to watch me excel in my chosen sporting field. Stay fresh fellow gamers!
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My top 5 worst celebrity perfumes of 2008 [list] [humor]