so i'm sitting here at my computer when i hear a few footsteps, i figured it was one of my flatmates. then i hear a creak in the floor by the bathroom, so i look through the crack in the door to see who it is (i thought it was one person but her room is in the other direction) and i see this guys face. i figure he must be like a repairman or something from the way he was dressed and he just came around back, so i said "hello?" and he immediately says "is james there?" and i said "who?" (there's a james that used to hang out here a lot) and he repeated it all the while edging backwards and i realised he was trying to rob the place so i stood up and said "no i don't think so" and he just took off sprinting.

hopefully he was just opportunistic and we haven't been SCOPED OUT or something. there's usually at least one person here but it's more than a little unnerving!

ugh looks like i can't do this here anymore, i was going to find out he was a ghost and then we'd get an exorcism and then a few days later i'd make a topic about how i went to the doctor and i was realy ill and they did blood work and i was on iv fluids and stuff but i was still losing weight which was really worrying but it'll turn out it was just the excess exorcism.

no but this honestly just happened

I'll take "how far climbtree will go for a pun" for $400

ok since i'm not here much anymore i'll tell you a few tips:
-i don't like swearing
-i don't like lying

so when i say honestly and seriously unless in the context of sarcasm it honestly seriously happened and this honestly seriously happened yes.

Honestly Seriously lol

you should call the cops. if you were being scoped out then they will see the police arrive and then know not to show up later, and if it was just an attempt the fact that the cops arrived would also prove a powerful deterrent!

why would he ask where james is?? now you have to find james and hunt him down... AND KILL HIM!!!

you also said literally so what are we ot think, it is that you took it out of climbtree's Book O Pranks.

my flatmate is home now i'll tell her about it. he asked if james was here so he could pretend he was just looking for a friend

one new reply: this happened! it's horribly written, as if i was under duress when writing!

you also said literally so what are we ot think, it is that you took it out of climbtree's Book O Pranks.

i actually do have a big book that i wrote so i can keep my stories straight/keep in character. <- not really this isn't true

i told my flatmate and she's going to get her car from her parents house (she doesn't use it) and park it in the garage so it looks like someone is always home.

Maybe if you had a gun like a good american you would have been able to kill him.

Stay locked and loaded.

what if they steal the car

oh noooo!!

Ugh that's annoying. Had this kid steal from me when I worked at a video store during highschool. I found him out with the security tape, and the police caught the bastard. (idiot set up a fake account while his friend swiped some free movie vouchers---except he used his real address and phone number)
Later was confronted by him... that was hilarious and also annoying. Him and his pal were scrawny punks with nothing on me, but annoying just cause I had to deal with it twice.

Short version: I hate theives.

Maybe if you had a gun like a good american you would have been able to kill him.

Stay locked and loaded.

unless i had it on my desk there's no way i could have shot him in time. soon after i saw him sprint off i thought "oh i'l grab my camera and snap him!" but by the time i ran back inside and got it and ran back out to the street he was long gone and i felt like a dick.

SO home security tips GO
we usually leave our backdoor open i think this will be the first thing we address

use a magnet to pull it out. metal is magnetic iirc

unless i had it on my desk there's no way i could have shot him in time.

That's what a holster is for dummy

i keep a snickers in my holster. it sounds a little strange but it really satisfies

Thats why you don't let stupid motherfuckers you don't know into your goddamn house all the time climbtree the asshole probably didn't respect you or your place next time you see him you need to stomp his fucking face in.

James was probably helping him stomp him too

edit: No but seriously thats probably what happened you let some fishy fuckers you barely knew into your place and they decided it was an easy place to rob and sell the shit.

thats fucked up and you need to keep everything locked down. I do suggest kicking his ass though if you see him in your yard because thats the best deterrent.