fuck it im tired of this topic so i'm doing this instead:
0 years old
I was born a boy in a village in Pakistan's Punjab Province, not far from the city of Ahmadpur East.
My parents have named me Saeed. My surname is Nasir Ali. My mother, Nasrin, is 39 and my father, Shakil, is 43. I have no brothers or sisters.
1 year old
Peace.
2 years old
3 years old
4 years old
5 years old
I've developed goiter.
6 years old
Began school.
7 years old
8 years old
9 years old
My father has been involved in a road traffic accident but fortunately suffered no permanent injuries.
10 years old
11 years old
12 years old
I've had measles.
Took up smoking.
13 years old
Met a new girl I like very much, named Saba Mushtaq Mohammad.
Rejected by Saba Mushtaq Mohammad.
14 years old
15 years old
16 years old
My mother has a peptic ulcer.
17 years old
My mother has been cured of peptic ulcer.
18 years old
Graduated from secondary school.
Met a new girl I like very much, named Saeeda Waqar Hassan.
We've begun seeing each other.
Need to look for a job.
Began work as a nursing aid.
My father has taken a dangerous fall and suffered a broken femur. The injury has resulted in permanent limp.
19 years old
Lost my girlfriend Saeeda by being too forward.
20 years old
Decided not to give money to charity.
Saved myself some money with a "white lie".
Met a new woman I like very much, named Khalida Intikhab Ali.
Rejected by Khalida Intikhab Ali.
21 years old
Began work as a nursing aid.
Met a new woman I like very much, named Shamim Shafquat Rana.
Decided not to pursue a relationship with Shamim Shafquat Rana.
Met a new woman I like very much, named Parvin Intikhab Ali.
Rejected by Parvin Intikhab Ali.
My mother has died in an accident at age 61.
22 years old
23 years old
Met a new woman I like very much, named Shirin Imtiaz Ahmed.
Rejected by Shirin Imtiaz Ahmed.
24 years old
Received a 3% pay raise.
25 years old
Decided not to give money to charity.
26 years old
Decided to steal.
Caught stealing.
Sentenced to two years of probation.
Invested 40000 Pakistan rupees in jewelry.
27 years old
Met a new woman I like very much, named Seetha Hafeez.
We've begun seeing each other.
28 years old
My girlfriend Seetha has been cured of ancylostomiasis.
29 years old
Seetha and I are now engaged.
30 years old
Decided not to give money to charity.
31 years old
32 years old
Seetha Hafeez and I got married this year.
33 years old
34 years old
My wife hit me.
Received a 3% pay raise.
35 years old
Decided not to give money to charity.
Invested 200000 Pakistan rupees in jewelry.
36 years old
37 years old
A major flood has hit Pakistan. 117 people have died and 3,500,000 others have been affected.
My family and I were not directly affected.
38 years old
I have hookworm.
A major flood has hit Pakistan. 290 people have died and 3,400,000 others have been affected.
My family and I were not directly affected.
Invested money blindly in a risky deal.
Lost money on a risky deal.
39 years old
Invested 55000 Pakistan rupees in a bank account.
My father has hookworm.
40 years old
Decided not to give money to charity.
Began work as a nursing aid.
My father has died at age 84 from kidney disease.
Inherited money from my parents.
41 years old
My wife grabbed and shoved me.
Cashed in 204420 Pakistan rupees from jewelry.
Cashed in 39625 Pakistan rupees from jewelry.
Cashed in 56105 Pakistan rupees from a bank account.
Moved to the Congo Democratic Republic.
Moved to Kinshasa.
Began work as a salesperson.
My wife Seetha has had malaria.
Daughter Lumengo born.
42 years old
Cured of ancylostomiasis.
Avoided being drafted.
My daughter Lumengo has had measles.
43 years old
Avoided being drafted.
44 years old
Inducted into the military.
45 years old
Decided not to give money to charity.
46 years old
Received a 3% pay raise.
47 years old
I have schistosomiasis.
My wife threw something at me.
Major fight with wife.
My wife grabbed and shoved me.
My wife hit me.
My daughter Lumengo began school.
48 years old
Invested 500000 Congo francs in land.
49 years old
Cashed in 536088 Congo francs from land.
Invested 550000 Congo francs in a bank account.
Invested 37000 Congo francs in land.
Began work as a nursing aid.
My wife hit me with a brick.
50 years old
Decided not to give money to charity.
51 years old
I have mouth cancer.
Invested 100000 Congo francs in land.
52 years old
53 years old
Left my marriage.
54 years old
55 years old
I died from an infection.
Last Edit: February 23, 2009, 08:08:33 pm by Magical Negro