You can do music! I'll listen to it, write words about it, and probably like it. I'll definitely use it if you want it in there because the project's a hodgepodge by design and there's compositions in there along with procedural music. There is even some "Earth music" by "Earth bands" in there just to mix it up even more like a giant spice rack done spilled on the floor. The neat thing about a universe-maker-game-engine is that you don't have to invent a context for stuff, the understanding is simply had that there already is one somewhere, and so nobody goes questioning artistic legitimacy. That leaves you free to concentrate on the laughs'n'shit.
 
Never heard of Tunesmithy, but it's interesting. It's got music, fractals, and weirdness in it. Not free, though - bugger.
 
I've been working on another, far tinier project (link to TXT prototype data, it's just getting started), a Zelda-roguelike-thing which is heavily inspired by equal parts Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup and stupid things I talk about on IRC. It has music too but they're mostly noise/sinewaves with the odd prepared piano. I expect it to be tremendous! ...ly dumb.

Hi! Just getting back after annoying compy box issues annoyed me. 
 
This game underwent a complete overhaul and become part of the canon-scope of another larger game built on its own virtual computing architecture that's capable of making things work as they ought in an artificial 17th-d cosmology. I'd write more about it but I have 489 fake bands to write music for and such. Ah, the joys of procedural generation.

Why the OUYA wasn't an instant success is beyond me. After all, it had such great tools, like piss-linux and a special processor built just for pissing out of its own pissholes. You never knew what to expect with it! There were reports of people sitting on couches trying to play video games, and some of them even emulated something. Let's take a phone, put it in a box, put the vent holes on the bottom, and play touchscreen games on screens that aren't touchscreens with a controller that looks like a buttplug for someone with a boomerang-shaped colon.
I'm going to think of something positive to say now. Here it is: "At least its controller isn't as bad as the Retron 5 one." There we go.

I taught my robot to roll Story Time Dice as a means of amusement. From there, it developed into a series of bizarre, juvenile writing-prompts.
 
Like Final Fantasy Tactics? Have way too much money to spend cloning a board-game of it? Follow the development of War of the Knockoffs, and be one with the Zodiac.
 
EDIT: My bot is getting so good at being an idiot, I've made a webpage for it. Like an ideal gas, its retardation will expand to fill the space in which it is contained.

That's outstanding. Nice find.
 
Here's my humble contribution to this SCROLL of WORDS:
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zw_GXJ5gTWU

All meister given. In fact it became able to sing, and sang a song about how it was once your meister but now it's just meister, so it's gonna take that spin on the proverbial wheel of life/fortune/time and give it all its OWN meister.

I have a serious gong problem and other people need to know about the gong problem so they take it seriously if they ever get it themselves. There is no cure for the problem, but there may be treatment. I'll document my research in this post.
 
I used to be a normal hermit, living in a normal cabin, eating normal pizzas. Then I found a gong one day. It followed me home and I didn't think much of it, 'cause they don't really need feeding, just a bit of percussive maintenance once in a while. One day I hit the gong really hard and it multiplied. It's been doing this at a slow, but increasing rate ever since, and my house is now a hive of malevolent bronze pizzas.
 
Photos from the early days of the gong infestation. You can see their mothership scattering light as it beams more of them into existence from some distant star.
 

\\
 
Drums were effective at buying time, but the gongs continued to warp in while I was asleep. I've been overrun, forced to a small corner where I chicken-peck this post in the hope that someone knows what to do. My only glimmers of a chance to defeat this menace have been found in the Martian pyramids known as 'Looneys'. Here's an ammo box of pyramids I received from an elven wizard/arms dealer who once had a gong infestation in his garden. They ate all his rhubarb, the little blighters.
 

 
I'm about to load these into my laser rifle, give those gongs a taste of prismatic booglarizing, and take my house back. WISH ME LUCK
 
EDIT: Didn't work
 
TIME FOR ROUND 2!
 

 
There's no way they can stop this BEHEMOTH

SAFETY OF GONGS NOT GUARANTEED BEYOND THIS POINT

If you use really bland images, you can get minimal ambient stuff pretty easily. I tried that and thought they weren't salty enough for us. Salt. You can lick it off your hand, if you want to.
 
Cheers, E-Z Chips. I have since drawn many more shapes, some are even in layers so it's like some kinda crazy kaleidoscope when you go nudging a layer around with the arrow keys. I made some swatches to test a company's print quality (they make game boards and I'm considering going with them for manufacturing some other project of mine) and hypnotized myself with blending mode shit before I finally seperated the layers into a grid like that.
(By the way, you lied. That story is interesting. Imagine the wear she's putting on the carpet wondering if people out there are getting her email right.)
 
List of amusing dumbfuckery I generated while teaching my bot different ways to make "cocktails"
I like how it evolves over time, first becoming quite sensible and then degenerating into nonsense.
 
 
 
For all readers, here is a feng shui coin. Keep it facing you like this, and it will draw bad energy away from you and deposit it somewhere else on the Internet.
 

I used to like making board-game-video-games, especially for the games that require you to track lots of stats and shit. Lately I've been feeling like doing more of it, and found myself in need of card, dice, and Looney Pyramids sprites. So, after much messing about...
 
 
(Moving lots of files borked the images that were here. They were migrated to a fancy high-dollar webpage. This one.)
 
 
Comments/critiques welcome. Thinking of removing the indexes from the numbered cards so the 9s and 10s can look symmetrical.
Use whatcha need if you want, or whatcha want if you need. I'll be doing d20s and a few other dice soonish.

We never could figure it out. With all those constant streams of dicks pouring in through the windows and doors, we had plenty of slap subjects, but they never yielded any useful information. They kept trying to get in the mouth of that fuckbot in the closet, so we dragged it out and they all disappeared into its mouth. We now rely on entire rooms full of fuckbots, posed like Qin Shi Huang's army, to passively slurp up the dicks. The honchos over at Dick Command noticed our change in tactics and began producing dongs, but when shown frontline footage of our fuckbots in action, the dongs switched sides and now they get the newspaper and brew southern style sweet tea for us every morning. So, to summarize: nothing changed except that most dicks were replaced with dongs, there's tea in the fridge, and there are several closests full of Harlotron MK.II Slutmachines for your perusal.

*clicks PONYFUN.HLP*

 

 
...and that's why i'm not allowed to do children's edutainment software anymore

I keep coming back to that status bar and imagining weird shit for it to represent. Even in context, it's amusing:
 
"This sword only does three apples of damage!"
"Gotta catch that key the skeleton dropped! Phew. Good thing that decanter was there."
 
I try not to post too much without actual content, though. Here's some:
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFN5OfOzu8Q

Cooooool. Lots goin' on. Those monsters have personality! Curious about what all that stuff does.
 
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/1566676/ARC/idiocy/50_shades_of_ghey.txt
Here is a "50 Shades of Grey" fanfic that I wrote ages ago and without actually knowing anything about the book or film. Intuition says it's probably accurate.

WARNING: EXTREME NERDERY AHEAD
 
Like pen-and-paper RPGs? Like Mechwarrior/Battletech? Like knockoff stripped-down clones of their rules with a bunch of dumbassery thrown in? Well YOU'RE IN LUCK!
 
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/1566676/ARC/flak.txt
 
Version 4 (that one) was written in plaintext. 3 had a fancy website. Oh well.
The main house-rule is the stunt rule: you can powergame, do impossible stunts, etc. all you want, so long as your descriptions make everyone laugh or are sensible/interesting. This system's so easy to run that the GM can play or the players can take turns being the GM in a sort of musical revenge scenario.

SHAZAM! Now there is a topic where anyone can post secret-lab-worthy things without having to make their own thread.
May the posting candles be lit and may the posting robes be worn! And may there be posting! 
 
Now to launch immediately into some tripe. ^_^
 
Often, attempting to screenshot a game will give you a corrupted image. 
 

 
You can use these images for neat purposes. This one uses 'Color Dodge' blending mode to make a cityscape-thing:
 

 
I dig it.
 
Now, this glitched data is not only useful for making fucked-up textures and tilesets for games. Its structured-yet-non-linear nature makes it ideal fodder for databending. So, let's turn these harsh, unforgiving pixels into "music"! 
I'm using Audiopaint (an image-to-sound program), and the waveform used as the basis is this one I generated: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/1566676/sfx30.wav
The tuning is harmonic and all are 180 seconds long. Nothing changes between iterations except the pic I feed the program.
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
ITERATION #1
 
Here's a 320x240 section from a failed attempt to screenshot Heavy Bullets.
 

 
Audiopaint interprets the lines as oscillators. I tell it to use brightness and saturation for left/right channels respectively.
It sounds like this:
 
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/1566676/apex0.mp3
 
Yowza! Let's see if we can refine it any.
 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
ITERATION #2
 

 
I've set the original image's blending mode to 'Color Dodge' on top of a black background again, then messed with color balance. This one also looks a bit like a cityscape. Sounds like this:
 
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/1566676/apex1.mp3
 
Much more sparse and pleasing. Different textures shine through with it ALMOST sounding like music at points!
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
ITERATION #3
 

 
I've done gone crazy with gradients'n'shit. The square forms have audible effects on properties of the sound themselves. Let's hear it:
 
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/1566676/apex2.mp3
 
Huzzah! Weirder, but somehow more structured. The gradient bands play into it as well.
 
There's thousands of ways to have it reinterpret a single image. The main two factors in anything I'd call "success" are having a good Scala .scl file and having a good original waveform to use as the basis. AudioPaint only does sines, so if you wanted squares or ramps or whatever, you'd have to sample a wave yourself. But it's worth it, if only for texture pieces to go in your more ambient songstuff.
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
Now for some shape studies:
 

 
This's part an experiment to see how the sizing and spacing of basic shapes alone can be manipulated to make different audio/visual aesthetics. It's also useful for messing with image-to-audio stuff like the above. Even small differences like those spacings can totally alter the look of a tileset or the sound of some databent stuff.
 
Well, this has been amusing, I hope.
 
Feel free to post away! This is like dumbtopic, only SECRET.

Great stuff. Mellow and unobtrusive and really textured. Good for the zonings and being-productive-times. Released on my birthday to boot. I listened to the album in a dimly-lit cabin where it's late at night all the time. I'm a longtime fan of Wario games and always dug the rare moodier stuff in their soundtracks, but some of this is downright gloomy and I dig the contrast. I haven't finished Wario Land 4 or any WarioWare other than Smooth Moves, but I finished writing this post.

Holy one-liners and puns, Batman. Consider me subscribed.
Heavy Bullets rules, too. Nice to see others playing it.
Respectful suggestion: the vocal tracks might benefit from some de-noising or a noisegate.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7hWK-AhikE
 
Not even printers are safe from printers these days.

Here's them there free sound effects. I posted the raw instead of the processed ones. Try slowing any of 'em down - they're made for it.
 
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/1566676/salt.7z