Sometimes, I think I eat healthier when I get fast food then I do at home. I passed up buying another Double Down on the way home from band practice tonight and cooked a two layer, velveeta, pepper jack, bacon and fried onion grilled cheese instead. Yum. Although, technically it should be called a fried cheese, since it is done in a pan with butter instead of on a grill. Oh well.

i've never been to any AA meetings but people in my family are recovering alcoholics and not exactly religious but it still worked for them to some extent! even just in terms of a routine and a support system. also just guessing but i imagine there's a distinction between the official lit for the organisation and the actual working practice of it for the most part. between the people running the group and publishing things and the alcoholics who actually turn up at the meetings. i dunno though.

im going to stop doing drugs

that's a good idea!! also hello fellow david byrne fan (or well, let's be honest here - a talking heads fan. NOT the same thing feh...), it happened that i heard the remain in light not even a long time ago and weeeeeeeeeeelp here i am. a huge psychedelic vortex, bonzi's dizzied head spirals down while screaming 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaa....', woooooooOOOOOOSH-

hello, i am a david byrne fan. david 'i fucking own' byrne. how do you do? heard any good talking heads lately?

I am not willing or even able to give up my way of looking at life just so I can stop drinking. I don't want to, it would mean I would be somebody else and I don't want to be because I like myself apart from this one issue. I'm not saying AA meetings are a bad idea, I have only ever been to one in my entire life and it preceded one of the longest stretches of sobriety I have had. I never accepted the idea of a higher power and I never will I'd rather try on my own and fail. In fact, my only choice is to try on my own. By that I mean by my own willpower, not without the help of other people. Maybe that will be necessary, I don't know. I don't have it figured out yet, OBVIOUSLY.

same thoughts regarding to my personal problems/depression and uh same uncertainty/not knowing how it will turn out but i want to do it. good luck pal!

my family were religious and mad alcoholics. irish catholicism rules

also saying things like 'if life was created out of nothing, then it follows that it means nothing and is leading nowhere'. that isn't what i am about at all! of course it all leads somewhere,

nope sorry, it really doesnt. Unless you mean death, cuz that's right where life leads. Everything else in the meantime is up to you and the choices your material conditions present you with.

im going to stop doing drugs

good because if you were for real with all your drugposting then you've got yourself a serious problem and probably need to see someone to help fix your shits

zucchini parmesan makes chicken parm pointless. I had that for lunch and I also got a free doughnut the kind my campus makes, heavy and both glazed and iced.

man

I just took apart my powerbook g4 to replace what's pretty much the cornerstone of the entire machine (the dc inverter). it took me about 2 hours. now I have to put it back together again.

lol have fun, they did not make those easy for DIY repairs

nope sorry, it really doesnt.  Unless you mean death, cuz that's right where life leads. Everything else in the meantime is up to you and the choices your material conditions present you with.

it means whatever you make it mean, is what i was saying. the guy was saying how if you don't believe in god then you don't have any real purpose and i don't think that's true. when i say it's all leading somewhere i mean that people should work to make things better, in whatever way, because that is worth it by itself and the world stinks right now so what i am saying is i have a sense that what i do day to day matters to me because i am chipping away at something important. or i try to. i think i am a bit egotistical because i've always got the idea of myself as needing work so that one day i'll real that place where i can be proud of myself and think 'i'm not such a bad person after all'. that day probably does not come but really whether it does or not doesn't matter!

there are motivators for self-improvement that don't come from religious experience.

my fuckin knife broke when I was cutting some rubber gaskets for a stupid door and now I'm pissed

gerber sucks and so does walmart

it means whatever you make it mean, is what i was saying. the guy was saying how if you don't believe in god then you don't have any real purpose and i don't think that's true. when i say it's all leading somewhere i mean that people should work to make things better, in whatever way, because that is worth it by itself and the world stinks right now so what i am saying is i have a sense that what i do day to day matters to me because i am chipping away at something important. or i try to. i think i am a bit egotistical because i've always got the idea of myself as needing work so that one day i'll real that place where i can be proud of myself and think 'i'm not such a bad person after all'. that day probably does not come but really whether it does or not doesn't matter!

there are motivators for self-improvement that don't come from religious experience.

you can make anything out of your life but yeah i'd like to think like this too.  you can be a hedonistic fuck for the longest time but at some point you are going to realize how pointless and brittle the things enjoy or own are. like all that middleclass trashy stuff (heh music is bourgeois by nature i'm a middle-class whining teen too) besides it's pretty... boring in itself!! also connecting this to the book thecatamites talked about, i guess the reason why lots of people feel disillusioned today is maybe because despite the longing to do cool things together and make progress on major scale you are forced to bureacracy and to these huge, bloated parties which members for the most part desire to gain power to themselves and for the party. there are good people there but it seems very hard to change anything!! also before twitter or internet it was whole lot harder to even get to talk with your representator. it's all buried under faux-representationism and bureacracy. fuck solidarity.

in retrospect a sloppy post with horrible simplification but feel free to shoot me down!! at least that will be interesting.

dietcoke i.... i am looking up to you in politics. please don't be harsh... also man i just want to listen to panzer general songs (what little there is in that game) with soundblaster 16. i really fucking miss soundblaster 16. also a really good fucking youtube idea i came up in work: in description the kid/teen/whoever is like 'combining my favourite things in world!' and it's Jeff Buckley's Nightmares by the Sea but the movie is just cuts from Toystory 2. i really like the idea that the video is planned that the at first the cuts are low-profile or you know talking or just slow moments. maybe just dumb talking and uh forebodding bits from the movie maybe. when the song pick ups and gets faster the cuts from movie are too like ACTION scenes or the toys running somewhere or whatever.

um I was having some thought the other day well first of all how much awesome/trippy/whacked out music is in advertising and stupid incidental music in tv shows and sometimes I think it's more PURE than pretty much any music ever even though it should be an oxymoron being that it's the most commercial thing. I also think demoscene music is pretty cool it sounds like music by a bunch of guys who had no delusions of being next big dj tiesto but they just had a lot of admiration for people like The Prodigy or whoever was around except Prodigy is all serious and probably insecure about the music they're putting out

Edit: I saw this being sold today at yard sale

http://www.cafepress.com/thisismi

Edit: hate to bring it up but I hope it's clear that's why I like Venetian Snares crap not because it's ANGST or whatever it's like music by a guy who really really hates music but also takes it to ridiculous extremes Kid606 type people seem too much like they hope the idea itself is lol enough and not have to get good enough to make music that over-the-top - it's most obvious on Infolepsy EP imo

he is unoriginal though aphex was trolling electronic music way before him

* Is hooked concept of "Love Marriage"*

the now traditional concept of marriage in itself is a fucking joke and that love hardly ever lasts unless you are ungodly persistant, fortunate, and understanding. Most people aren't and most of the time it doesn't work out. fuck marriage in general, its an oppresive standard which makes young men and women think that they need to force themselves to find another and stay together and work things out because of a legal and/or religious obligation to one another and not true love, of which often burns out over time leaving the charred remains of this relationship miserable and disfunctional.


bub, why is her mother forcing her to marry a mail-order husband? whatever I think its cool if she's cool with it, I'm all about manipulating the legal system when it comes to marriage because its fucking twisted.

shut up