LSD. Where my trips at.

ive just gotten so used to doing this....its become a curse

now you need more and more to get the same 'hit' and it's affected your judgement.

hello fellow droogies

i spent the last month in a psychiatric ward

i no longer advocate mixing adderal and weed to all of my good friends here

just wanted to let you know

buttkiller, you still alive bro?

Did you have some kind of amphetamine psychosis that was accentuated by the weed or something? I know a few people who kicked the nugs because stimulant abuse ruined it for them.

Yeah me too, but it was coke and ephedra back when that stuff was legal. Never got into amphetamines much other than taking a roommate's addies for studying all night.

I'll smoke a little bit occasionally but I can't enjoy getting really stoned like I used to

wait, why would you hate smoking weed if its the adderal thats causing the psychosis? I mean it is prominently the adderal isn't it or does it cause you to react like that every time you smoke weed?

Alot of my friends are into adderal and smoking like that and I'm just glad I stuck to muscle relaxants instead because other than an opiate addiction thing from over abuse I don't think I've got to worry about freaking out or anything like that.

you're not dead yet you're just going to be if you don't smarten up

It's like my mind went into overdrive with the amphetamines. I was not sleeping for days at a time. I attribute much of my psychosis to simple sleep deprivation. Thoughts that you wouldn't believe...

Mixing weed into the equation amplified my psychotic thoughts into strange states indeed. I smoked what little bit I had left last night because...well because I never learn I guess.

I was immediately brought back to the same thought patterns. It felt like my skull is too small for my ambitious thoughts. I wrote this stupid poem:

human being

tiny insignificant speck of dust within the universe

all of us billions

floating here within space

why are we here?

given so short a time

taken randomly

we could all end up dead

there are worse things

the lost existence of eternity's path

without meaning

I am thrust into this very nihilistic existentialist eerily realistic yet idealistic thought process from which there is no escape. It is incredibly intense. It's like the mellowness of weed has been taken away. In addition, it has become very psychedelic except that my mind does not feel fully equipped to handle the experience. I saw some pretty weird shit last night, thank god it only lasted for an hour. Hopefully the whole thing is temporary and I will one day be able to enjoy the benefits of weed again.

yeah maybe you need a break....

By some strange twist of fate, I met a girl in the hospital I was in.

We have been together for almost a month and she is the only thing keeping me from delving back into psychedelics, which I have avoided for a couple years now ever since....that time.

I think I may also have had (still have) an underlying mental condition that caused the psychosis to spiral out of control.

But what ya gonna do?

it's good that you're better now schalt. does anyone know if kaworu is still alive? oh good he's listening to stuff on last.fm. I'm going to add him as a friend so I don't have to fear he killed himself with drugs whenever he stops posting.

what's he listening to? gong? or is it back to iron maiden....?

looks like he prefers psychedelic stuff, space rock and zappa these days

By some strange twist of fate, I met a girl in the hospital I was in.

We have been together for almost a month and she is the only thing keeping me from delving back into psychedelics, which I have avoided for a couple years now ever since....that time.

I think I may also have had (still have) an underlying mental condition that caused the psychosis to spiral out of control.

But what ya gonna do?

I don't know if I'd call it a mental condition which medicalizes it, its more like a state of mind that should be explored a bit with lifestyle changes and psychoanalysis with an understanding professional. Its good to hear that you've got something in your life that's keeping you from jumping back into psychedelics after your ordeal because i don't think that's a good idea.