so as a lot of you know i've been eating pretty poorly or pretty weird stuff at the least and this has inevitably caused my some trouble... down town. my doctor suggested i get a colonoscopy from a private source to make sure there's nothing major wrong (i swallowed some car keys a couple months ago and they may have caused physical damage) but that'll cost around $700.

so i was wondering how hard it would be to do it myself. like surely, technology has come far enough that i could do it myself. i've got an old webcam that i've taken apart and i've also got a CMOS type camera i've taken apart, which seems like it would be more ideal but it doesn't have an LED built in. basically:
-how can i make a colon cam for cheap? (keep in mind the smaller the better). what would i need to take clear enough pictures to diagnose?
-it seems like you're not meant to eat for a while before you get one done or something (House M.D), what do i need to do in terms of prep?
-are there online proctology textbooks for diagnosis or will i have to go in and get an opinion? how much do you think it'd cost for like a consultation, considering i've done all the work myself?

ugh would you stop

come to my house i will do it for free

i need the practice i'm going tobe dr. colon ​ in 4 years

There was a guy who did that in Vietnam so I don't see why you couldn't do that except that he was an actual doctor, just make sure it's well insulated (or it might give you a lethal shock)

In the three days before you do it you must eat only liquid food, then the night before your DIY colonoscopy you take a laxative

Also here's a colonoscope manual

http://books.google.com.br/books?id=oYeLSkZhMuYC&pg=PA7&source=gbs_toc_r&cad=4#v=onepage&q=&f=false

It might serve as inspiration for your own design

I'm pretty sure you're going to need a fiber optics cable a few feet long and a lot of petroleum jelly at the least. You might also want to make sure that your anus will be able to fit the cable so I suggest sticking some things up there to start with to get it primed up.

i need the practice i'm going tobe dr. colon (Smile in 4 years

do you mean you're going to be a shitty doctor

i am not one to judge let the colons Do that

This is the basic idea



The arrow without any text is pointing this part



Also I'm not sure how to make it look up and down but a bicycle brake cable would probably work

:?

If you're really serious about doing this, can you please tell us how it all fared afterwards? I've been wanting to do one of these for a while now, but don't wanna be like.. you know, the first.

As for the camera, make sure to get one that isn't totally useless when it comes to focus, cause it might get pretty blurry since stuff will get very close to it I think.

This is the basic idea

Hidden content (Click to reveal)

The arrow without any text is pointing this part

Also I'm not sure how to make it look up and down but a bicycle brake cable would probably work

I don't know it seems way too technical to me

this is a more simplistic and economically sound way of doing it:




Of course with this method you're going to need someone on the other end holding the flashlight and the camera...

The fun begins when the camera cable breaks and comes out but the camera is still in your anus.

yes you tend to enjoy these sorts of things

I really like Cockveins incredibly cheap and practical idea and after a bit of pondering i managed to figure out a way to apply it with only one person.


The way to do this alone would be by simply sitting down on a tube with a flashlight and camera preferably in it already (maybe use a road cone instead of a tube if you can't fit a tube that already has to fit a flashlight and a camera in it?). I guess this would recquire alot of lubricant to reduce the friction during insertion. Remember that once an ass has broken, it will be neither easy nor cheap to get it repaired.

before i build this (i'm doing something more like Mince Wobley's idea), it looks like there's going to inevitably be a knob on the end. would this be easier or harder than if the entire thing was the same thickness?

I don't think it would be much more different than getting penetrated by a dog-penis if you kept the knob.

edit
Also, you might want to ask some of the more prominent and "alternative" members of GW about analsex and how they go about before insertion because frankly, that area of expertise is beyond my skill and knowledge.

uhhhhh it's going to be nowhere near penis sized

before i build this (i'm doing something more like Mince Wobley's idea), it looks like there's going to inevitably be a knob on the end. would this be easier or harder than if the entire thing was the same thickness?

Harder because it might get stuck on the way out, if you keep everything within the hose and seal the void spots with epoxy resin that won't happen