i wasn't wrong last night, there's a new whistling frequency in my right ear. it just disapeared for that night by then but now it's back and it doesn't seem to go away. for few hours the hiss had turned into a bleep and it won't go away. i'm not sure if it's bleep anymore but i don't care. it was lot easier at the time of initial shock because it was just this faint tinnitus in my right ear that i could hear when no noise is present. i can now barely even hear that frequency under that fucking whistle and HISS. god forbit it holy shit the hiss. i used to love hiss and noise and all that stuff but i fear i am going to hate it after this or will be incapable to hearing it due to feeling SEASICK. i think the hiss is even in my left ear but i can't fucking tell. i can't tell whether the noise is in my left or right ear anymore.

i suppose it eases when i focus on things but uh it's not nice witnessing how your hearing turns worse by a day FOR NO REASON AT ALL. worse yet is this change today because i played my guitar with an amp? are you kidding me? i didn't even play it loud and i didn't play it for a long time. are you going to strip my hearing from me just when i'm getting into composing and worse yet replace it with a permanent, present noise? that gets louder and worse every day? that i am going to be afraid of playing or listening to music forever in my life from now on? how could i enjoy singing like this, i have to forget a vocalist career?
i hate this. why did this happen to me, why won't it stop? and i thought i could be very well capable to make good music and/or album and be a good singer. my fucking life's goal was to make a good album, how am i going to do it like this? i don't want to go to work at monday jesus christ. am i going to lose my hearing because of my work or a fucking ear cancer or similiar? i don't have the time to tell and everything is slipping through my fingers. i am not the most happiest in the person but holy shit this is the new peak. i am gradually losing my will to live. i don't want to go to work. in fact, i am wearing a pair of ear plugs right now.
i don't know, it's 9:30 pm when i wrote this and i want to go to sleep. i kind of don't want to wake up in the morning.





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You may just have fluid on your ear. Go to doctors and get it looked at.

how does this happen? you said something about work that I didn't understand. ear cancer no one has ear cancer. and are there any doctors you can talk to

Sorry to hear that.

You really need to see a doctor. These things happen to people. I don't really understand why you're so fatalistic about bad things happening to you, but you're always like this. The problem is that you're afraid to take any part in the direction your life takes. See a doctor.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Labyrinthitis is what my dad had. He vomited everywhere and was hospitalised for ages.

plot so far: ten weeks ago i started working in academic hospital's kitchen as a nutrition worker because of civil service. basically working on meal belt and diswashing belt plus various of other jobs. other people only wear ear plugs during the dishwashing belt and when washing big kitchen ware, i wear the all the time nowdays. basically four weeks after starting working a tinnitus appeared to my right ear and i freaked out. i never have tinnitus. i went to the company nurse which did some tests and said that there is some ear damage in my right ear so if i'm not careful it can get worse. after that she handled some papers about WATCH YOUR HEARING!!! and sent me away. days or a week later i am at the company's doctor and when i explain her about my situation she says that the nurse hadn't marked anything about this in the papers. oddly enough she keeps beating this through the meeting so uh basically she did nothing apart from just warning to take care of my hearing and stop worrying over it too much.
the tinnitus became permanent and since then i have been worrying every day whether things will go worse. one night the tinnitus got really bad so i couldn't get sleep. week ago this hiss appeared from nowhere when i was trying to sleep at sunday. it have become permanent too. sometimes it changes between being a hiss and being a bleep, propably due to how much i pay attention to it. i hope it won't turn into a bleep permanently.
two or three days ago when i was sleeping i spotted a new odd ring in my right ear and i heard it last night and a hour ago when i put on my ear plugs so i am going to assume that it may become permanent as well at some point.
i can even barely hear the initial tinnitus in my right ear because of this fucking hiss/bleep. i'm not sure at what ear this hiss even rings and i am sort of worried or becoming more convinced that it's both ears.  

You really need to see a doctor. These things happen to people. I don't really understand why you're so fatalistic about bad things happening to you, but you're always like this. The problem is that you're afraid to take any part in the direction your life takes. See a doctor.

aaaaa that's a low blow?!? anyways Wednesday i went to the ear doctor of a private company and uh it didn't progress much there (basically a lecture of how ears work and few tests and that's it) and he asked me to deliver the uh, spectrum chart? of my right ear and it's going to be hard to get it, i hope the nurse had saved it. it's expensive but considering new problems are appearing i don't think i have a choice.
the thing is that the chart he is asking for was done ages ago and my situation with my ear has changed a lot since then! I am going to deliver it if i can since it's just the first appointment but i am frustrated. I want to figure out what is causing these problems.

all i can say is hopefully its not permanent. i remember i had tinnitus appear in my right ear in junior high and it lasted about 3 days and after telling my mom she said "oh well in some people it doesn't go away" I remember that really freaking me out at the time i didn't think she believed me. anyway that don't really add much to your situation but as i said hopefully it is not permanent and some if not all of the bleeping/tinnitus  goes away. i hope it does go away because i would lose my shit freaking out. i used to be afraid of going to bed and waking up BLIND or DEAF.

dude, that really sucks.  like i don't know anything about the subject too much which is maybe bad because i'm planning on a career in medicine in the future but i don't know what else to tell you.   but like yeah as a fellow musician i know how like losing your hearing is just like the worst of the worst and like, i really feel bad man!

you have to wear earplugs while washing dishes? idk about finland but if this was caused by something the govt made you do, you could probably be getting them to pay for everything

ears are really complex. I hate ears.

I've always had tinnitus since I've been a child yet the range of frequencies I can hear is very very large and better than most people. You'll get used to the hissing eventually when it comes to sleeping btw. I know my ears have gotten worse over the years because of concerts and drumming (even though I wear ear plugs + isolation headphones... I'm still playing at least 3h-4h a day so). Just go take some tests and freaking out over it won't bring you much so relax.

Also, remember that Beethoven was deaf. Many other musicians have horrible tinnitus like Phil Collins and The Edge. I wouldn't be surprised if Nicko McBrain has it too. The drummer from Amebix had it really bad too.

i don't think it's too encouraging to say he could be like phil collins or the edge

I'm not saying he could be like them, they've had that tinnitus because of all their performances without proper protection for many many years.

if you're feeling seasick it's affecting your inner ear, unfortunately earplugs in a dishwashing environment would create perfect conditions for all sorts of ear nasties.

also relevent and easy for anyone experiencing tinnitus (it's not supported too well but it's cheap and easy)
http://scienceblogs.com/notrocketscience/2009/12/treating_tinnitus_with_an_individually_tailored_piece_of_mus.php