IT IS TIME FOR FAUSTY TO STEAL THE STAGE MAYBE!?!?

I actually teach English at a secondary school over here in the U.K. (alongside History, Media Studies and OH NO PSHE!!!) Maybe I can ASSIST!

God's finest creation; a baby!

This is totally wrong. A semicolon links two sentences, neither of which are dependent on the other to make sense. "God's finest creation: a baby!" would be correct, due to the fact that the latter section is dependent on the former.

A hyphen would also be fine in this context, but NEVER A SEMICOLON!!

...Although on reading your post a second time, I've come to realise that you already knew this. Either way, consider it clarification that your friend and his girlfriend are perverts and foreigners.

Do you mean a dash faust? I don't think a hyphen would ever be fine there. Freakin english teachers huh!!

Fuck calling it a 'dash'. That makes it sound like it is A RUSHED AND BOTCHED JOB. I do not approve of this "dash".

Faust I wanted to teach English but for some reason I'm going to school for Computer Science instead; You're a lucky man!

Diagnosis: CORRECT! You'd be well on your way to a juicy A-grade here. I only have a few students who can use a semicolon correctly, which is not a surprise considering that the majority of the adult population in this country don't understand the simple apostrophe.

FUCK, I just had a look at dashes and hyphens and apparently they're different things.

I AM THE SHITTEST TEACHER IN THE WORLD! I've been forcing my groups to call them hyphens...but then again, so have some of my colleagues.

DIAGNOSIS: FAILURE.

...Although, to be fair, no one at school will ever challenge me on it so PRESTIGE PRESERVED!!