I had a tasty burger today. From McDonald's. I ate it on the train opposite an old lady and before taking my first bite I looked her in the eye and whispered "please, avert your gaze" and she cackled.

cows suck and soon i won't have to live with them anymore.  my dad has realized how much cows suck and is trying to sell them off so he can get something cooler like goats.

this

is

a machine

for making

cows



(cuica)

tell them to stop

yeah cyriak is pretty great. i like this one:

The primary school I went to was right next to a big farm full of cows and one day they must have broken the separating fence because they were all over the school grounds. It was very cool. They all looked totally normal, just standing stationary as always, grazing on that grass. We were all shuffled into the school assembly hall as quickly as possible to avoid the cows. Cows are cool. I like the way they are never moving but cover alot of terrain.

i like cows too. i just recently heard about this huge dairy farm in Indiana that produces enough milk for 8 million people and 80 calves are born everyday, see, here's another youtube

Cows are cool. I like the way they are never moving but cover alot of terrain.

see the problem is that if a cow thinks that you are doing something to fuck with it, like, idk, going to get the mail, they will occasionally snap and try to go after you.  this hasn't happened often but in the 10 years we've had cows it's happened at least once or twice.  one went after my mom, and another time one wrapped its tongue around her arm and ripped a bunch of skin off.  cows are jackasses they just space their bad deeds out so that nobody notices

i didn't know they can rip skin off with their tongues.

http://www.gimmecorn.com/cow-tongue-biggest.html

look at the texture of that shit

The teeth are removed to prevent cannibalism and to constrain them to a specific grain/brains/grass diet because in the wild they're actually predators

--

Also, if you don't believe:

hey vellfare have you ever gone shroom hunting in your cow fields?

just wonderin, thats like the only reason I'd like to have cows.....unlimited mushrooms...

also goats suck they will try to horn you and eat everything....they will literally eat everything or atleast try to eat everything. Plus they're useless. Like one miniture goat would be cool but it would have to be female unless you wanted a little asshole goat.

no why would i do this i'm not going in the field with those cows

also i had a professor who had two miniature goats and they were rad as fuck, so i think it's just a matter of not having asshole goats (whereas i have an entire FIELD of asshole cows, and so does everyone else i've met with cows)

why are you scared of cows just whack them with a baseball bat and take their shrooms

have you seen any? you could charge hippies like 10$/hr to raid your shroom field but after and hour if they aren't gone they getting blowdarted. get a blowdart gun.

you ever been shot with a blowdart gun? I don't see what all the fuss is about it doesn't hurt that bad unless its like in your eye or face or something

or you could get a carpenters hammer and be like that scene in oldboy but with cows instead