https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FO-HDEEgkAc
 
this commercial is alright but the one they run on tv is like the most glorious bootleg DVD menu ever
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_G3ExRkc4l8
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JszKyqh1DyQ
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCKO_CgPvt4
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f03TfWDQb60
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgFTxZJvZ5g
 
 
 
also for some reason earthbound samples video came up, didn't know the beach boys one
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_oc9Ypcb2Q
 
 
 
ahaha and this video came up after one of the commercials
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PlANO-3cnz8
 
i like this guy, i thought his channel would be all trump videos but it's just about deer huntin' and making venison jerky. keeping it real
 
edit: no not more lemon pepper THE ABSOLUTE MADMAN

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYhL64lGixs
 
old show on game show network that is TV-G but strangely dark / weird implication of contestants dying/being tortured at least? (like spanish inquisition)

https://djsaint-hubert.bandcamp.com/album/zodnas
 
also i'm re-releasing stuff now

HAPPY HALOWEN !

Woah, there's a "game" I haven't seen in ages.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vykgCPi-fho
 
i know it's anime but the animation in the original hellsing anime was so incomprehensible at times. The trailer has a lot of stuff that didn't make it into the final show but it's a good example of such incomprehensibility. the actual series is more boring but still looks amazingly shitty

Hellsing is the most popular anime I've never seen a second of and never cared about. It's not a household name like stuff that got a run on Cartoon Network or other US channels but it's always had an obsessive fanbase online.

the bar for anime is kind of beautifully (if typically boringly) low, which allows for some incomprehensible gems. the entire premise of hellsing appears to be its name, its ugly anime-grade aesthetic, and its sloppy anime-grade pastiche. kind of like trigun, which is actually a separate series by a separate person.
 
young Earl, excited by this by this fantastic and bountiful new world of anime opening up on the pre-youtube internet, once adopted a hellsing Alucard avatar without ever having seen the series. young earl also once bought a trigun manga without having paged through it in Borders first, and was later bored to tears by the tome.

ahhah, i was the same, earl, alucard avatar all the way... there must be something irresistible in that aesthetic of creepy old uncles (everybody has weird, specific mouth lines, like some kinda studio ghibli movie from hell). drawer has seen too much anime version of nightmare on elm street. also blood is actually ketchup/juice? there MUST be something likeable on the deliberate grotesque'ing on the anime esthetic, and not necessarily the disturbia itself. i must have thought secretely subconsciously it was somewhat hilarious that everyone is an asshole powermonger in series, only light is the red/orange light, and that everyone never dies but just take up on violence dilebaretely for an old fashioned show or idk something. gets cut by million knives, gets an excuse to twist face and oooh be daaark and give cheap shock value to participants... it could make a good Idols - type of show in alternative fantasy universe...
 
also the fucking fedoras, cigarettes, sephiroth hairs (90's hair partitions?) and john lennon glasses and monocles on everyone. and then the fucking mouth lines/wrinkles. and obsessions with uptight victorian fashion and often covered necks. they almost don't have any visible face at all, do they?
 
i also went really far with hellsing esthetic and IMO made a pretty cool looking that priest knock off in soul calibur 3. Sue Me. You Don't Have To Be Obsessed To Make Good Art But It Does Help!!!!!!, says the coffee mug in sw.
 
EDIT: Yeah this must be like proto-2000's esthetic tropes, bit like Trigun. we just loooved extreme "bad ass" or "crazy" faces didn't we *prodigy album cover looks accusingly at young bonzi*. bit like how everybody obsessed with FLCL and Cowboy Bebop artstyles and "impressions" back then. or that fucking Neon Genesis Evangelion. Ah To Be Young... Hah hah... To Be Young! Pah hah...
 
EDIT2: like I guess this was early 2000's and bloom of anime in internet west etc, like how until then eg. 80's anime was mostly interchangeable, but sudendly you got narutos and whatever that all had their "brand" of art style? plus the bloom of 3d tech and more focus in production... so you got lot of focus on "coolness" and cool cuts that now make millions of "cool anime gifs" we see everywhere.
also lot of  Classic Anime Fights littering the utube etc. but yeah case Hellsing: the story ofc was as boring as u can imagine.
 
we could call this the Tarantarino. Tarintano. Taran... Tarantarantano...? Tiron... Tarantarinmarine? Tarantino pararadox. or obsession. Obsession of Singular Effective Takes in meaningless boring movies or something. AKA: HEH OWNED. pwned...heh... - paradox or trope. Let The Boys Be Boys!
 
EDIT3: Hellsing is like, the shareware of anime. you get to see awesome trailer, you saw couple of episodes. then the continuation disappears into ether and all young bonzis and earls are left mystified...
i bet the anime died because they drew all their cool ideas and cutscenes and put all of them in first episodes or in trailer, then lackadiscly/apathetically call it quits not even because the animation takes too much resources but because "all of their cool cutscenes ideas are used." *sheepishly spreads hands* the Kickstarter project of yesteryears...
 
btw i've bought some of the original mangas back then... they're really bad. they made cool animation shit from very poor shit. the artstyle is literally the only thing going for the mangaka (and even then it's clumsy and fixed in many ways).

i like how the aesthetic of the anime is /going for/ ridiculous red and black hi-contrast blacks are so black reds are so red you immediately want to drink someone's blood or something... yet if you look at the actual anime (not that trailer) it is low contrast as fuk/mysterious N64 fog on everything but just overlaid on top of everything in post production so contrast/composition is lost. When i was little i thought it was something wrong with the encoding/video codec (the lack of contrast/defined lines)
 
that being said i probably watched the equivalent of 2 full episodes of the series, prob just skipped to the 'cool' parts like everyone else

i think the weirdest thing on that cover is the font for the title? i wonder if they were hoping to trick kids into expecting some kind of sim city / wall street kid type business simulator about dropping leather jacket dinos all around a desert.
 
also just to say i read an issue of hellsing yesterday just from reading this thread and realising it's something where the shape of the thing is already in my head due to years of forum activity alongside sephiroth avvies but i had no idea what it all meant despite it feeling weirdly familiar.. but reading the comic solved nothing because i guess it was just the same three signifiers i already knew about repeated over and over with really cheap/haphazard narrative stuff just awkwardly used to thread together full-page picture of victorian jacket guy smiling coldly as he jumps in front of full moon. i did think it was pretty funny that it kept talking about how the vampire hunting organisation was "protestant" as if this was some extremely charged / significant / mysterious term, i sort of want to keep reading just to see what kind of berserk jrpg catholicism ends up being represented.
it's like the whole thing was based on the first three pages of a 14yo's drawing notepad and they had a day to frantically stretch it into an ongoing narrative / series
 
https://youtu.be/O3CyGijYPmc?list=PLxeKpvvjBRxz450nHbtqat0BW_dgI5d23&t=22
this was probably posted here already but maybe worth checking out just to see how offputting it is when a walk speed is just slightly faster than you expect / want it to be

dino city is based on this
 
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adventures_in_Dinosaur_City