hey geo

hey what do you call it when a criminal doesn't want to leave prison because he doesn't think he'll reconfigure into society as expected.

I remember reading about that somewhere. I get that feeling alot when I'm about to go back home. Its like I want to because I want my personal freedoms and shit like that back but I don't because theres too much shit. Too many people, too many words, things move too fast. Its like a mild anxiety or something. Its like going back into a different world where I'm a different person, one that doesn't matter I can't think as much and do as much because I feel stifled all the fucking time.

Its hard to explain. Not exactly like being a shut in and almost like being a hermit. Its like going immediately from an environment I can easily understand and control to an extent to one with so many variables I stop giving a fuck and feel powerless. I feel like I'm getting my wings clipped or something.

sounds like what a lot of military people go through after coming back from a tour(minus the whole PTSD aspect). I know a handful of reserve guys who went over for a while didn't really go into combat or anything but basically lived at work with not a lot going on and some sort of rigid structure and when they came back they felt all weird about everything and never really wanted to do much besides stay home and drink/watch tv/read/play vidjagames. Its actually what leads a lot of people to reenlistment because they don't know what the fuck to do with themselves.

idk man, force yourself to do something outside of the house. you mentioned you liked hitting a bag to blow off steam so maybe check to see if the local YMCA has boxing lessons or something.

finally, please post some weird views on something this place is a big aging white boys club. everyone here is literally the same person.

yeah!
wb mkk

speaking of aging boys, hows your wiener doing earl?

yeah exactly. Its not really a discipline aspect just not having any distractions I can do way more with myself out here I guess? And everyday I'm getting something.

I try to do alot of constructive shit when I get home and am sometimes successful. I think its more of a social thing for me though than just being lazy. I feel out of touch with alot of people especially people my age. But you're right. I get this feeling when I come back out to work that I failed something on my time off.

speaking of aging boys, hows your wiener doing earl?

ok I guess. boners still work like a charm. I only ever really cared bc my genphys said I might have a kidney problem. I'm more worried about my heartburn and other general health problems

I'm kind of interested in watching Scream 4 now because apparently it's either so incredibly stupid or brilliant depending on how you look at it, and also it's like some genuine 90's NOSTALGIA movie they even did some digital shit to the film to make it look like it's from the 90s. It could Wes Craven's Metal Gear Solid 2..... (kuraven-san)

ME TOO

we went to some mexican bar called "piano bar" last night and I got really drunk and only an hour sleep and my head hurts pretty bad. its like a music bar but they use some keyboard that sounds like some salsa made out of 80's synth. Both of the singers were hot as hell though, one of em looked like penelope cruz

Immigration wouldn't let me fly home today because my worked fucked something up with my visa now I get to stay in mexico for the weekend and get paid to do whatever the hell I want. Kinda irritating because I wanted to get home but also pretty cool.

i deleted my twitter so i've found myself back on here on this night...surfing posts...thinking of making posts of my own.

rip jamie's twitter :(

the reason i've decided to return is because i was thinking of all y'alls the other day-- i wrote one of my college application essays about my experiences with online communities. it's so strange how close one can become with people who they've never met face-to-face. i wrote about Steel and how much he influenced me and how painful it was to follow his fight with cancer. :(
so anyway, now that i have become a second-semester senior in high school (thus i am now done assembling an art portfolio and applying to college and such), i finally can relax a bit (until AP tests) and spend some time with online bros. :3

sometimes i am here and i read a thing but there are too many things sometimes so i don't read them all. Also I can't write anymore!
Has anything cool happened?