yyyyeaaahhh so basically just scrap all the bro-advices and just roll with it malad, you'll be fine. it seems like she figured out that things didn't work out for her and she ended it in a immature? way (idk, dunno your sociocultural genderrules but there's probably logical/emotional reason why she did it the way she did)

but as funny as it sounds THAT'S IT. back to the drawing board/life!! besides, there's tons of prettygoodawesome girls with different lives and personalities and history and way to deal with things just like men so who knows who'll you meet. or if you meet or maybe something happens and by some chance you just don't do relationship but the point is QUE SERA, life is strange/suprisingly suprising and works in mysterious ways. be astonished of the beauty of chance. look the life anew etc. walk a new path. explore new venues/avenues/venuses, malad "m'lad boner" "boner malady" "mad boner" "my horny mad lad ok i'll stop here.

also if she has something to say or wants to start again then she'll probably contacts you. you'll also know later on better how you feel on thngs/better retrospective.

welcome back big ass skelly!

edit: unban mince

edit: unban mince

why?  what was he adding please tell me what he was contributing to this site.

not gonna go into detail why mince should be unbanned again, but he definitely wasn't a run of the mill troll

I know he's been acerbic lately but idk, you guys don't get him. have you played his game? he's got a lot left to offer us beyond trying to goad vellfare

I just disagree with banning a guy for making naughty posts. what are we gaining by banning him? we don't have to read his comments anymore? or just quality control? those are both pretty awful reasons, particularly given the state of this forum. if this was some massive come-and-go forum with tons of nondescript members it'd be an entirely different situation, but that's not us. it's not like the ideas in his posts have any danger of spreading or reinforcing someone else's delusions.

I really doubt anyone would be able to verbalize a legitimate reason for banning him, and since last thread I still haven't seen one. obviously no one owes me an explanation, but you know - I think we're just 20-something tots still trying to control who gets to play house with us.

I really doubt anyone would be able to verbalize a legitimate reason for banning him, and since last thread I still haven't seen one. obviously no one owes me an explanation, but you know - I think we're just 20-something tots still trying to control who gets to play house with us.

He's racist, sexist, and harasses (not goads or trolls, harasses) me every time I post.  How do you think potential new members feel when they see Inri's posts going unchecked? It makes us look like a community of shitheads. Half the replies to his awful posts these days is SEVERAL different people telling him to shut up. He's a toxic piece of shit and you're kidding yourself if you think his comments on women and other races are him just trying to ruffle feathers. He believes this shit, he MEANS it. Why do you believe the community should welcome such a guy? He even had a second chance since dada didn't know this account, and what did he do? The same hateful shit. Let's give him a medal for being an asshole.

e: look at the two most recent pages of his post history and defend them please

not gonna go into detail why mince should be unbanned again, but he definitely wasn't a run of the mill troll

I know he's been acerbic lately but idk, you guys don't get him. have you played his game? he's got a lot left to offer us beyond trying to goad vellfare

I just disagree with banning a guy for making naughty posts. what are we gaining by banning him? we don't have to read his comments anymore? or just quality control? those are both pretty awful reasons, particularly given the state of this forum. if this was some massive come-and-go forum with tons of nondescript members it'd be an entirely different situation. it's not like the ideas in his posts have any danger of spreading or reinforcing someone else's delusions.

I really doubt anyone would be able to verbalize a legitimate reason for banning him, and since last thread I still haven't seen one. obviously no one owes me an explanation, but you know - I think we're just 20-something tots still trying to control who gets to play house with us.

i was going to comment on your hit and run comment but lucky to u, u elaborated quickly... yeah i can see why, though i'm still not sure about bringing anything to the forum- like i can see the point about hiveminding which is a genuine problem but with mince it's hard to just say if there's much benefits. like i don't side on dada on this one for the precise reasons you are concerned off but i can agree on that just giving him a chance to reconsider his actions for now- because he's honestly been vile as shit on many topics here and i can't say it brought life/changed the stagnation to a direction or another... or if there's a need to concern over whether banning dissonant members becomes an actual forum policy when mince could be just an exception to the rule you know?

so basically yeah he's been acerbic as hell but idk if i can see if he really has anything else to say?? maybe he's got a awful situation in life, i can't know that. but i don't really dig exactly that he really shows no other desire than to maximally derail topics? yeah he's physics topic got derailed but if you look around there's not many people who could sufficiently respond to that topic and getting worked over is just a bad idea if that would be the possible reason why he shows nothing over when picked on.

idk it feels clumsy too, whoops wonder how he feels about it.  we happened to kick you out because you've been the real bad boy but guess what, you can get back if you are a nice boy now. let's go on like we've still got a nice day here and everybody respects each other despite kicking you out just now. we can do that but the weiner and the damage done.

Because men and women share base similarities. Its a fucking fact. No, they are not all the same. No, they do not all think the same. But GENERALLY SPEAKING there are certain behavior patterns and trends that said person will follow. Is this a product of biology or environment? I don't fucking know but I'm not gonna flat out ignore that and not learn from stuff like that to help me deal with certain people. If a person is following a set behavior pattern stereotype or not I can use that to my advantage to figure out what I should do next.
 
I wouldn't even call that shit a stereotype. People are animals, creatures of habit and similiarity so certain things overlapping between certain people isn't necessarily a bad thing imo. Shit I fit like a hundred stereotypes its

I know it is a generalization but its also true to some extent (especially in this case) which is why I said it.

I think it's wrong to propose that just talking to her more would have solved everything, or if the relationship had been manipulated in some specific way it would have worked (approaching OCD thinking). things aren't that simple, and theres no way to tell if that would have worked, or would have just delayed the inevitable or kept her from making up her mind.

How does a relationship start? Not necessarily manipulating anything dude, just realizing he was being complacent and trying to better that about himself if that was infact the problem would fix it wouldn't it? So what? Throw away a three year relationship on a girl you fell in love with because she's too immature to learn how to communicate properly?

Or teach her how to communicate properly and figure out what you need to do in order to make her feel as loved as she actually is?

Really and honestly sometimes you people are the most brilliant I've ever spoken to. But imo, cases like this really show how out of touch you guys can be with REAL shit. Ain't no harm in tryin if he wants to and I'm sure he's a respectible enough person to get the point and fuckoff if she doesn't want to try to work it out or atleast talk about it.

He's racist, sexist, and harasses (not goads or trolls, harasses) me every time I post.  How do you think potential new members feel when they see Inri's posts going unchecked? It makes us look like a community of shitheads. Half the replies to his awful posts these days is SEVERAL different people telling him to shut up. He's a toxic piece of shit and you're kidding yourself if you think his comments on women and other races are him just trying to ruffle feathers. He believes this shit, he MEANS it. Why do you believe the community should welcome such a guy? He even had a second chance since dada didn't know this account, and what did he do? The same hateful shit. Let's give him a medal for being an asshole.

e: look at the two most recent pages of his post history and defend them please

yeah, see this is the reason why this needs discussing. he's been an asshole and he might genuively believe that women are shit etc but it doesn't change the fact that we're trying to convert him to "our house" really (did i use this term correctly?) by force/exclusion and you don't do this shit in real-life communities. you can just ignore them, tell him it's wrong and he's wrong or just ignore him, that's some fairly established things in communities but the banning is extreme like Malad said. Dada has reasons to believe (as do i) that he really is really is not productive at all the way he is doing right now but kicking him out is definitely quality control. note, i know exactly what is the counter-argument but the kicking under circumstances is still not the greatest reasons...
and by greatest reasons, i'm talking about that if this forum were anything bigger, we COULD establish what is the ideal poster (if we want to) and productive posting et all -
and even then we could argue on a higher level whether something like that is ever necessary than patronizing /dehumilating in a tight-knit, common sense place with the air of pr liberal expression (reminds me of the SA convo with earl commenting why SW still  =/= SA)
- but all we have now is circumstances really which brings back to whether any kind of mince inclusion/exclusion is actually benefitting to anything. groan i can't keep on with the lead, it's been awhile i've posted seriously about anything. gimme a inhale break...

but it's a good idea we talk about this over now in this topic since a. earlchip suggests against supposed concensus that he should be kept around and b. as any forum policy it's controversial

How does a relationship start? Not necessarily manipulating anything dude, just realizing he was being complacent and trying to better that about himself if that was infact the problem would fix it wouldn't it? So what? Throw away a three year relationship on a girl you fell in love with because she's too immature to learn how to communicate properly?

Or teach her how to communicate properly and figure out what you need to do in order to make her feel as loved as she actually is?

Really and honestly sometimes you people are the most brilliant I've ever spoken to. But imo, cases like this really show how out of touch you guys can be with REAL shit. Ain't no harm in tryin if he wants to and I'm sure he's a respectible enough person to get the point and fuckoff if she doesn't want to try to work it out or atleast talk about it.

groannnnnnnnnnnnn. i need my break Farren. be merciful.

malad: lately, he's been doing it whenever vellfire posts something that could be construed as feminist or about discrimination. the first time he was banned was because he uh, what was it? I accidentally revealed he visits a horribly racist forum and he refused to apologize to people calling him an awful piece of shit subhuman scum? adding the prefix to human is the only way I embellished that statement

here I go: a lot of his posts come from the perspective of living his whole life somewhere in peripheral Brazil and not having the privileges we have

He's racist, sexist, and harasses (not goads or trolls, harasses) me every time I post.  How do you think potential new members feel when they see Inri's posts going unchecked? It makes us look like a community of shitheads. Half the replies to his awful posts these days is SEVERAL different people telling him to shut up. He's a toxic piece of shit and you're kidding yourself if you think his comments on women and other races are him just trying to ruffle feathers. He believes this shit, he MEANS it. Why do you believe the community should welcome such a guy? He even had a second chance since dada didn't know this account, and what did he do? The same hateful shit. Let's give him a medal for being an asshole.

e: look at the two most recent pages of his post history and defend them please

harasses? you know none of us agree with him, and if his comments aren't valid at all why does it even bother you? why read any of his posts?

the "potential new members" argument is lousy and you know it. how do you know what potential new members want to see? do they peruse every thread looking for any offensive post? would they even know it for certain if they saw it? ban ed and dday any anyone who ever said something offensive-sounding as an inside joke

mince believes what he writes to an extent. I know, I've had serious discussions with him. does that criminalize him? you're better than a guy who grew up to become inri? you like plenty of misogynistic stuff. what excuses Skee-Lo - I Wish and not an actual person? don't answer that. I like that song too.

btw ed hasn't changed for the worse. I remember. the only reason you notice anything now is because everyone else here is the same

warped: yeah, I think it'd be better if he were penalized with a temp ban. that way if he keeps coming back and doing the same thing only to be temp-banned agian, it's really his problem

I think inri is very smart in being able to trigger your self-righteous outrage but in the funniest way possible. It's just weird that the level of social ineptitude has jumped an order of magnitude up the scale and no-one can no longer interpret a joke or react accordingly. Instead there's just this onslaught of offensively acting offended like the original insult mattered, like the ensuing argument even mattered. Like holy hell I'm not smart enough to respond to that but holy hell, jesus and mary burnt on bagel slices I can be mad.

The speed of some of the replies on this website you wonder if the posters actually notice the sun rising and falling. Maybe they covered their windows in tin foil? Maybe they've lost the plot?

It speaks volumes that someone can be pretty terrible and insensitive to someone who's obviously going through a bad time, i.e. they are insensitive and self-righteous then when someone tongue-in-cheek mocks them they rely on these two principles. What an outrage, I'm so offended. What's wrong with you! I want to put a pipe down your throat and vomit into it, etc.

This is probably a USA thing. Which is funny because the whole country is based on the principle that a human can be a mingebag towards another human but only as long as they're playing for the right team.


The point I was making is that you've essentially banned someone who's interesting. He might not be on your wavelength and you might be too dumb to get him but never mind.


It seems we both enjoy occasionally pissing into the wind.

warpped: cuz his posts don't bother everyone. like I don't agree with them, but do they actually bother me on any level? no

]
How does a relationship start? Not necessarily manipulating anything dude, just realizing he was being complacent and trying to better that about himself if that was infact the problem would fix it wouldn't it? So what? Throw away a three year relationship on a girl you fell in love with because she's too immature to learn how to communicate properly?

Or teach her how to communicate properly and figure out what you need to do in order to make her feel as loved as she actually is?

you're assuming she has a problem communicating because of how she handled the breakup. that's a big assumption compared to the idea that she just figured out that she didn't want to be with him, and that no easy minor fixes would change anything. like it has never occurred to you that a woman could feel loved by a man and still not want to be in a relationship with him

Really and honestly sometimes you people are the most brilliant I've ever spoken to. But imo, cases like this really show how out of touch you guys can be with REAL shit. Ain't no harm in tryin if he wants to and I'm sure he's a respectible enough person to get the point and fuckoff if she doesn't want to try to work it out or atleast talk about it.

yeah he could try that, but it'd probably be a waste of time and emotionally they'd both be worse off for it. it's not tough to see "long distance relationship" and think oh well they need to communicate their love more there's your problem. that's probably the first thing everyone thought

It speaks volumes that someone can be pretty terrible and insensitive to someone who's obviously going through a bad time

mince actually did that in this thread

This is probably a USA thing. Which is funny because the whole country is based on the principle that a human can be a mingebag towards another human but only as long as they're playing for the right team.

no, usa is based on the principle that you can be whatever you want, so if you turn out bad it's all your fault and you deserve the worst treatment as long as you're over 18 or occasionally under that age if you're male or a mother

you're assuming she has a problem communicating because of how she handled the breakup. that's a big assumption compared to the idea that she just figured out that she didn't want to be with him, and that no easy minor fixes would change anything.

Nope, wrong. I'm assuming she is having a problem communicating because (as far as I know) her internet posts never mentioned not liking him or not wanting to be with him. Just making the false assumption that he didn't care when he did. Key part is she never went to him with it, at all. That right there is boldly underlining her communicative problems (if thats it).

like it has never occurred to you that a woman could feel loved by a man and still not want to be in a relationship with him
yeah he could try that, but it'd probably be a waste of time and emotionally they'd both be worse off for it. it's not tough to see "long distance relationship" and think oh well they need to communicate their love more there's your problem.

I dunno if she ever loved him or not but three years is a damn long time to not feel that for someone and still stay with em. It worked for three years before then? Thats not "this long distance shit ain't workin" they're well past that by now unless I'm missing something.

lol my sister has been a guy she doesn't love and who doesn't treat her right for how long? 3 years, or is more? like she's always looking for someone better, but until she finds it she's not emotionally strong enough to break up with him - largely because they go to the same school and he's always around.

Key part is she never went to him with it, at all. That right there is boldly underlining her communicative problems (if thats it).

The KEY POINT is that there was nothing to fix, she just didn't want to be in a relationship with you anymore. She was probably looking for "help" online from strangers because she was still coming to terms with this fact and needed to sort out her feelings.

long-term relationships are tough to get out of man. I know so many people my age who say they wish they weren't in one

I don't believe that.

if you don't feel something you don't ask for help like that. She'd have known then to end it and not have tried to get help.

to each his own though dude. I get where you're coming from but that perspective on distance is pretty shitty to me. If I had to come to that conclusion then I'd have to come to terms with the fact that I will be alone for the rest of my life.