holy heck it's benos.
 
 
right on cue it's my bi-annual drunk saltw visit. last ones were february, last june and last january as I scroll back a couple pages.

something flipped in my head tonight and i started thinking of steel and i went back and read through that whole thread and jesus christ
 
i exchanged so few words with him directly but that entire creative period of the site and everything that he and like hundley and everyone was doing back then was hands down the thing that most impacted my growth and development as a creator and as a person
 
i could've shook his hand, or hugged him, or done anything to let him know back then how much of an influence he'd had on me
 
he would be so important today. he is, still, but
 
man.

omg it's teloch too. so many vaguely familiar names i remember absolutely nothing about.

thank you for archiving the dd homepage for all those years

i can't believe i actually bought the domain name for that. and then just let it expire. (edit: wait no that was DE)

Hi, posting here for my annual notalgia, 'what happened to my life', 'i never made an rpg maker game', trip.

Hello everyone. Just checking in letting everyone know that I’m doing well. I’ve had quite a few life changes in the last few years. I realized I was raised in a cult so I left that, came out to myself and the rest of my family, moved out and got my own place, joined a support group for people from said cult, met a guy who I instantly clicked with, met him in person since we lived in different countries, decided to live together, got married, bought a house, settled in and now we have a kitten. Life is good, although it’s been years since I’ve touched Rm2k3... Oh well, what can you do?

Yup, I’m still in Halifax. Have a great job just minutes from my house. I don’t foresee myself moving anytime soon. Wish this forum was more active. I miss talking to everyone who used to come here.

Hello everyone. Just checking in letting everyone know that I’m doing well. I’ve had quite a few life changes in the last few years. I realized I was raised in a cult so I left that, came out to myself and the rest of my family, moved out and got my own place, joined a support group for people from said cult, met a guy who I instantly clicked with, met him in person since we lived in different countries, decided to live together, got married, bought a house, settled in and now we have a kitten. Life is good, although it’s been years since I’ve touched Rm2k3... Oh well, what can you do?

 
Does your husband know about your past involvement in gamingw?

somehow i haven't killed myself yet

well im no expert at all but i hear hanging in there when one doesn't want to is incredibly hard and those who do for whatever reason deserve some respect. hope you find yourself to that elusive place of not wanting to die.
 
i can't say i've truly progressed past that point, but i did finally get up off my ass and started being a functioning member of society. i got my documents sorted, i got a job that sucks but doesn't suck too much and really doesn't suck for someone with very little previous work experience and now i don't think about how i'm a 26 year old virgin whose life hasnt amounted to shit. funnily enough, i'm actually okay about the virgin part. hell, i'm even okay about being 26 and not really having anything to show for it education, money or life experience-wise. i get that i did that shit to myself. i just can't shake this part of me that judges myself in the worst possible way, and i deceive myself into thinking it's in preparation for how the world will see me. the biggest joke of this all is i spend most of my time now going out because being inside on my computer feels like a prison and literally nobody has indicated they see me this way.
 
i don't know how i'm going to get over this self-hatred but i'm pretty sure i can't and don't want to find love until i do, because the thought of having it, destroying it and thus hurting someone due to the fact that i can never see myself the way they see me is the one thing i can't really handle.
 
 
while i'm being reflective and shit, it occurs to me that while this place was a real formative part of my years and the friends ive made here are pretty much for life(which i'm grateful for), i think i really shouldn't have been here. like i wasn't really interested in anything but the idea of making games because i really enjoyed playing them. the value i got from this place was the practise in socialising and communicating, which was invaluable but honestly i could have gotten elsewhere. that being said i found my place to do all of that in the soldat sub-community and not bother the people who were furthering their Actual Productive Interests(too much anyway). i should really stop reading my posts its actually making me so sad jesus fuck

yo bb I was in a very similar boat, I had a degree and my job at the time was abusive but otherwise very similar. despite that I don't have a lot of advice other than you're making the right move by getting out there and getting off the computer for the bulk of the day. you'll also want to give your life structure and discipline if it doesn't have it already. spend some time in nature, and don't look at your phone or any devices for the most part. and quit hating on yourself!! easier said than done, but focus on how irrational and counterproductive it is.
 
if anyone is thinking about suicide though: your brain does a pretty good job at 'tricking' you into believing the way you feel is directly based off of your experiences that have brought you to this point, but that's not the case. you don't have to feel that way and need to take steps toward addressing it. I was suicidal for a couple years and I forgot how it is to feel normal or even just normal-depressed, until I went to the doctor for another problem that's caused by depression and they linked it to that; now having a treatment for depression I haven't felt suicidal in years and I don't foresee it happening again given what I've learned. I personally wouldn't recommend pharmaceuticals, but you need to stop feeling that way regardless. It's fine to wallow in your own muck and be depressed and all, no one has to give that up.

I got really nostalgic for Chef and Charles Barkely 2 and saw he had a kickstarter for like 105k dollars and I'm all like "When's this shit coming out" and I might possibly be in it but who knows? I've got a giant hardon for oldschool GamingW and whatever and I miss you guys so like.. like's get on re-uniting and shit. All I got to work with is like, oblivion's discord or some shit.

Not sure anyone would remember me, but seeing so many usernames I remember sure is a nostalgia trip.

GW was a massive part of my life as a teenager. Feels so strange to be posting again!

Glad everyone is doing well

 
I remember you and I may be breaking some oldschool posting rules but fuck it. What's up man? I really miss oldcshool GW I'm gonna cry.
 
If I remake the site in some shitty PHP and HTML can I take over the original Domain name and get Project Maker fully up and running?
 
Also, I've got infinite GW-Points because I hacked Bart's admin console once so like, you guys owe me or some shit.