Your brother did not respect her use of something she considers critical to the person she is. He tried to restrict her freedom to do what she wanted with our own consciousness. And by the way you present it, she only smoked weed. Did he have ONE good reason why she should quit? The only one I can think of has to do with kids, since the government can take away your kids if you smoke weed. But they didn't have kids yet, now did they?
Actually, that's my fault. I didn't give the whole story on that one, because I don't like to think about it. But the truth is, everything started when she failed a random drug test and lost her job. It soon got to the point where my brother was supporting her entirely, but though he tolerated her drug use, he didn't give her money to buy them. He even forgave her when her phone got shut off because she used the money he gave her to pay the bill on coke. But when he caught her stealing from him, that was where he drew the line, and delivered his ultimatum.
Though I understand this more likely stems from the person she is, rather than the drugs themselves, I cannot help but wonder what would've happened if she hadn't been on drugs.
Smoking weed was an important part of who she was, and it probably made her life easier, as she was mentally able to let go and become at peace with oneself. Most of us have methods of venting and reviewing aspects of our lives. It's better that she smokes weed to do so, than to let shit build up, because letting shit build up makes you pretty fucking unhappy. And if that's the way weed worked for her, then your brother pretty much asked her to abandon her thing in life that makes her in peace, or him. Add in the fact that he was adding what to me and therefore to her a completely unacceptable need for control over her life and I don't see how she could ever choose him. Love is not about finding the person that most applies to your tastes and then force her into completely applying to them.
There are a couple of reasons why I disagree with this. You may not have meant it that way, but the way you worded it makes it seem that the only way to release life's pressures is to do drugs. And I cannot agree with that.
And my brother was far less interested in control than you think. He let her do whatever she wanted, and even joined in on occasion, right up until the end, when he realized something was seriously wrong. He quit everything but alcohol at that point. But then, you didn't have all the facts, and that's my fault.
Now this is where you become a fucking asshole. Fuck you. How the hell do you know that YOUR CHOICES are the right? Your cigarette habit can not be compared to this in any way. You're what, ADDICTED to cigarettes? That means you're body and mind NEEDS CIGARETTES TO WORK.
Holy crap. For someone who's absolutely convinced he's right, you sure are AWFULLY defensive. That's alright, though, I can understand why you feel that way.
I DON'T know that my choices are right. It's possible that drugs, psychedelic or otherwise, are the only true path to enlightenment. And it was certainly not my intention to preach or deliver a sermon. I apologize if I came off that way, but you have to understand my perspective, which, limited as it may be, is the only one I have to go on. Not once, but twice have I known a person who chose drugs over their children. The first was the wife of a friend. She left her husband and two children and simply disappeared. Her husband, Tracy (yes, that's HIS name), found her a few days later, coked out of her skull. The second was my ex-girlfriend, who used me mercilessly. In truth, however, that was as much my fault as it was hers, since I let her. She was a cocaine and hydrocodone addict, and she would often dump her kids with me and disappear for days at a time. I had to be a father to children who didn't have a mother, and her youngest was only two years old. Once again, that could simply be the result of problems she had within herself and not the drugs, but again, I give pause to wonder.
When it comes down to it, I would say I have more of a thing against cocaine than anything. It was wrong of me to generalize and I apologize. Truth be told, I've had little to no contact with much else, and I've never even heard of half the things you've all been talking about. I guess I've led a sheltered life.
I also don't understand why you would dismiss cigarettes. Is it impossible to get addicted to drugs? You're telling me that my body and mind cannot work without them? So it's impossible for me to quit, then? Your definition of addiction varies greatly from mine, my friend.
Ok but never mind all this. Here's what I'd like to know. What do you think is so wrong about using psychedellic drugs, apart from your obvious bias against it (that "it's their lives" etc pretty much spills your beans)? It's not nearly as dangerous as you'd think.
Psychedellic drugs generally are not deadly. They're not addictive. We're not talking about cocaine, speed or heroin here. We're talking about drugs that DO NOT ALLOW AN ESCAPE FROM REALITY. Psychedellic drugs work as an amplifier to your own psyche, often combined with a lightshow and weird views that your own mind design to amplify that experience.
I have an example. One time I did MDMA there was a guy there who spent all day playing WoW. He seemed pretty stable and happy with his view. Whenever anyone asked him wether he should go out socialising he was like "I don't see the point" etc and backing up his view with pretty good points about why he shouldn't (I can't remember them now, since I only met him once and was never impressed, but I do remember seeing the logic in what he said). He seemed to completely be in control of his choice to use 15 hours a day in front of that computer doing that and never socialising.
Ok now, he was randomly the housemate of some people I was doing drugs with one night. We were gonna do MDMA, and by chance he was curious and went up and asked what the fuzz was all about. When he knew we were all gonna try MDMA, and a lot of us first-timers (including me) he was like 'cool' and wanted to watch, so he sat down. (We had not yet taken the capsules). Anyway, as the capsules arrived my friend asked him to leave, because as a general rule we don't want people not taking anything to watch us take stuff. And he was like, didn't want to miss this shit so he went "Ah what the hell, let me buy one too."
Once his kicked in, he felt very uneasy. He obviously had some trouble with some emotional stuff, and looked pretty miserable. I was halfway concerned he was having a bad trip and would never touch this shit again. In fact, I was wondering wether MDMA wasn't such a great drug after all. All these thoughts were half-assed from my POV since I was pretty much in a very happy place so I didn't give it too much thought. As his trip became less intense he just talked and talked to this guy about all his problems and how his life is incomplete and how unhappy he is. At that moment I was tripping on 2c-b and found the conversation to be extremely boring (considering that 2c-b relies on the mood it could've made me go into an unhappy place as well, so I fled the scene).
I heard a few months later that after that night he decided to get his life back on track. He quit WoW and managed to get good grades on his exams (as opposed to earlier efforts, due to his addiction) and after the term he moved home so he could get closer to his family again. He also started socialising a lot, and felt that even though he was not very good socially, he needed to get better because he had realised that nothing is more important than having other people in your life.
Now that's the kind of shit that happens on these drugs. Most of the time, it's only minor stuff and fun, but psychedellics are NOT AN ESCAPE in contrary to your neo-fascist views. If there's anything on your mind, it WILL be amplified. And it will most likely make you more aware of who you are and what you need and make up your mind about moving towards your own happiness. For me, as stupid as this may sound, it actually made me focus less on studies and more on music, because that's what I love to do, and even if I'm not that great at it, I realised that experimenting with sound and trying to make soundscapes is the best thing in my life atm, and I should make the most of it while it lasts. Comments telling me to shut up because I suck may ensue. But that's what I feel, and it's what makes ME happy.
Neo-fascist? LOL! Good lord! Boy, did I EVER come off the wrong way.
As I've already explained, I have so little firsthand experience with drugs, and nearly all of it bad. Thus my 'neo-fascist' perspective. If you say psychedelic drugs aren't harmful, and that they've actually helped you realize your goals, your dreams, then bravo, man. Seriously. So few people actually chase their dreams. But I have no experience with psychedelics. I didn't even consider them when I first posted. I have no opinion about them at all. Once again, a crime of generalization, and I am at fault.
Another good examples is the fact that addicts (to heroin, speed etc) don't like psychedellics since it amplifies their problems, and they don't have an easy way out. They just realise they have to quit and since they're so deep into their addiction (and the lifestyle, remember that at this point it's the only way of life they know) that they become depressed.
I'm not going to claim that psychedellics are 100% safe either. People occacionally die from it. That's why MDMA has a bad rep, because unlike alcohol, teenagers are in a danger zone. With alcohol, health and a good liver will keep you alive. With MDMA, hyperthermia, dehydration and hyperhydration can be deadly, and teenagers are especially vulnerable to this. Yet, in 2005 only 80 people had ever died from MDMA in UK so it's not really that dangerous, it's just that since kids are the most likely to die it becomes a national scandal (after all, the media won't care if a 50-year old died from a drug, but once a 15-20-year old does, it's all over the newspapers).
My life would probably be the same except I'd never realise a few things. I'd probably still drink way more than I should (I actually used to drink a lot more before, often taking litre bottles of booze to parties, whereas I now often drink 4-6 pints, besides also reducing from two-three times a week to two-three times a month).
But the most important thing is, that I'm a free person. I choose to do with my mind and my body as I will. If I want to have a good time, I don't want it to be restricted to watching sitcoms, to drinking alcohol etc. I'm sure you would agree, deep experiences are way more worthwhile (and fun) than shallow. And that's just what psychedellics are. The deepest fucking experience you can imagine (well, depends on the drug, set and setting, but it's way deeper than spending your day playing videogames).
I agree with almost everything you've said here. Except for the deepest experience part, since I wouldn't know.
I don't ever hurt anyone or myself, and I'm perfectly capable of not doing anything criminal. I'm currently studying to be an engineer so I don't need your prejudice that drug users are dumb fucks or anything like that. I've always been a responsible person and I don't see how this is a contradiction to this, in fact this very topic is a golden example of how responsibly we're all taking the drug-using. We're talking about effects, dosage, what to watch out for, what to do if things go wrong, etc. We're extremely careful and spend 20+hours reading about new drugs we're going to try. We find datas on known cases of deaths and damage and find out what went wrong and what not to do. So yeah, go ahead and live in your little bubble about how bad and dangerous and self-destructive this is. That's not the point. I don't fucking care if you hate me for doing ecstasy. What I do care about, is you take your time to write that shitty post about your cigarette addiction and your dominating brother and then decide to judge people based on your views, which are probably 100% based on the shit you've heard from the media and propaganda system. People wasting their lives on hash, give me a fucking break you fucking piece of shit. How dare you, filled to the fucking brim with prejudice, and a fucking whiner, tell me how to live my life? You're no better than those people in high school that thought "having good grades is nerdy". You're exact fucking same just in the opposite end of the specter. YOUR VIEWS MEAN SHIT. THE END.
This is where you took the asshole crown that you had just given me and crammed it back firmly upon your own head. I came here seeking insights that I had always been lacking. Granted, I could have worded things better, and clearly I have offended you and probably more people in the process, for which I am sorry, but you definitely could've handled this better. The others have been more or less patiently explaining their views, and for much of your post, you did the same, Lars, for which I am grateful, and do feel that I understand the big picture a little better. Unfortunately, you chose to attack me, not once, but twice, giving me a very clear image of a cornered animal. And I'm afraid this last attack makes you out to be a bigger fascist than I. It's your way or the highway, eh? At least I'm willing to concede that your views have some merit.
I came to this topic child-like in my understanding and I want to give a very clear and sincere thank you to everyone to answered my question and helped to open my eyes a little. Especially you, Lars. You may have taught me like an abusive father, but I did learn, and that's worth my gratitude. And, for what it's worth, I don't hate you. But I would like to explain one thing very clearly to you, since you absolutely have the complete wrong idea about me.
My views were based 100% on real life experience. Not the media, not the propaganda system, I learned long ago not to trust THEM. And everyone's experience is different. So I wonder, if I'd had your experiences, and you'd had mine, if I would be the one telling you that "YOUR VIEWS MEAN SHIT. THE END."
PAW