It was a cool midsummer night, the stream glistened with the moonlight, the cool tranquil ripple displaying the majesty of a world gone by, ignoring all that shone before. The noble Herring floundered playfully, creating such a magical spectical. The graceful giant grizzly bear approached the herring, with a giant step he lurched forward and snatched the Herring with his mighty magical jaws, the herring was helpless as the bear savaged him with his teeth.
The next day, the Duke of Kakarroto was wandering down by the stream where he noticed the skeletal remains of the herring, he held it in his Naive and innocent hands and let out such a sorrowful cry, a cry so painful it was heard around the world and is said to have inspired the generation of Blues music. Herring in hand, he ran to the nearest doctors surgery where he shouted at the doctor "FIX THIS FISH!", The doctor refused
"I am a people Doctor!, I cannot , this fish, she simply will not be fixed."
The Duke collapsed on the rustic wooden floor, his head fell down to his knees and he whimpered.
On returning home to the royal palace, the Duke was surrounded by a group of seven potatoes, who lined up in order of height and began to go through their routine of Mary Poppins songs, but upon reaching Chim-Chimeny, the eldest and smallest potato tangled his beard in with the shoelaces of the Duke, and tripped over, falling to his death. The other potatoes were OUTTRAGED AT THIS FURY, and armed themselves with swords and spears, and proceeded to attack the Duke.
The Duke died. Get over it.
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The Boris Johnson Diaries part 3: The secret tortoise of royalty