if you could go back in time, in a super cool time machine, with all the information you know now about the world/etc, together with yell at a teacher/ i guess a professor in your early years of college a thing or two what would it be?

I would totally go back together with tell Mrs. Davis (I think that was her) that she was stupid as excrement when she declared on 9/12 "this is why we voted in a great man like george w bush, we are at war with an enemy that wants to kill every single one of us, it's a time for american unity together with if you don't like america you can get out (this is 100% true btw)." i was kind of an idiot back then together with was all like indeed, I concur WHY DO THEY HATE US I DON'T GET IT, contrary to expectation now i am slightly less of an idiot together with I would tell her that she was a stupid warmongering moron.

so indeed, I concur post stupid excrement they like that ok

One of my teachers told me that the popular image of Santa Claus was invented by Coca-Cola (shattering all my childhood dreams!), which I later found to be PATENTLY FALSE.

"You will use math everyday of your life". Fucking bullshit. I don't even ADD everyday of my life, let alone that algebra crap. I can't stand math teachers, they think they are the end all and be all of life.

because math and physics geniuses are probably the most important people we currently have in the world right now and every significant modern advancement we'll have will come from them or bio-chemists?

That's not what they mean by "using math." But yes tell me more about why I should use long division and solve for X in my day to day life.

Well, if you want to be a grocery bagger or a busboy for the rest of your life, then sure.  You probably won't ever have to do any sort of math.

Though, I do agree that long division is not something you'll use, ever.  Because we have calculators.  But algebra does have several, practical real-world applications, and you'll discover yourself using math more if your position in employment ever exceeds peon at a branch of a random corporation, or perhaps custodial duties.  The blue collar middle class and higher will use math all the time.

History teachers telling us that the Civil War was fought over States Rights and not  slavery and such.

To be fair, he sorta is right in the regard that state's rights was a huge thing the civil war was about, because it was inherently connected to slavery. (The South argued that the North couldn't take slavery away because of the 10th ammendment.) The South took a strict look at the constitution, the North took a more open interpretation, so....

The only two I can think of are that if she isn't dead yet, I would like to punch the teacher who laughed at me for believing in evolution in the 5th grade (I guess as far as what she SAID goes, all she said was "WELL IF YOU BELIEVE *THAT*") in the face, because she was an elderly cunt, and her daughter was a terrible teacher and a cunt also, and her daughter's daughter harassed me on the phone for two weeks for not going to church.  Worst family ever.

I also had a teacher who said "Personally I think the Ten Commandments are just good rules to follow no matter what religion you are!"  Ignoring the fact that things like "I AM THE LORD THY GOD" and "KEEP THE SABBATH HOLY" don't really translate so good "no matter what religion you are".

Also just in general I want to go back and scream at my geography teacher because not only was he insanely obvious about staring down shirts, he never ever taught a single piece of geography.  He was entirely obsessed with different teaching methods, and so we'd have to rotate tables (something about sitting in a T shape helps learning) every week and do exercises where we had to come up with a hand motion for our name (I am talking about me being a junior in highschool by the way).  The worst part was that he taught us that the best essay is the most generic, terrible essays ever.  We had worksheets that were like these only even worse, because we also had to fill in what introductory words we were going to use and 12 other words we were going to use.  Every single essay came out like this:
   Because of something, this thing is true.
   First, thing 1 is true because of thing.  Thing 1 is true because of other thing.  Thing 1 is true because of last thing.
   Second, thing 2 is true because of thing.  Thing 2 is true because of other thing.  Thing 2 is true because of last thing.
   Last, thing 3 is true because of thing.  Thing 3 is true because of other thing.  Thing 3 is true because of last thing.
   In conclusion, this thing is true because of something.
If you went outside of that format, he'd count off for not using the worksheet.  The whole thing was disgusting.

When I was in grade one my teacher and I argued for like 10 minutes, because she said black was all colours, rather than the absence of all colours.

Dumb bitch.

last time I checked, you didn't need a time machine to tell people they are wrong (unless they are dead or something)

However, I wouldn't touch the teachers in my school.  They were the least of my problems, I'd just have to stop me from running my mouth about things...

actually, the only teacher I would do anything to would be my 3rd grade teacher, who told me "Deal with it" after I just got beat up during recess, and my nose was bleeding profusely, and was probably broken too...

as for stupid things teachers have said...  I can't really remember anything aside from teachers not helping me with my bully problem, and only making it worse...