So, last weekend was my first anime convention.  Being a big comic and vidcon convention goer, popping my anime cherry was a pretty big deal.

Overall, it sucked.  Granted, I didn't have a plan and just "winged it" but by the end of the first day my head hurt so much that I couldn't take anymore and left.  This is a factual recounting of that single day of suck.  This is canon.  The names have been changed to protect the sanctity of the innocent from the destructive beast known as the internet.

HOUR 1 *DUN DUNN*

On the ferry to Seattle, my friend and I spot some other con-goers dressed in costume.  We laugh because they're dressed as Sakura and a generic character from Bleach.  My friend warns me that we'll be seeing a lot of Naruto.  Turning to my left, I notice some asian douches; one of them wearing a leaf village headband. 


(ancient chinese proverb states you can tell the douchebag level of a person by the length of their sideburns)

As we got close to Seattle, my friend insisted on taking pictures of these 13 year old girls.  I tried to opt out but... I'm weak.


(check out the guy on the left eyeballing us)

And so the long day begins.

HOUR 3

After an hour long line getting tickets, we grab some food and oggle at the ridiculous costumes.  Admittidly, a lot of them are awesome in particular this one girl dressed as Optimus Prime, a totally adrogynous dude dressed as Eddy from Guilty Gear, and the entire cast of Team Fortress.  I saw one person dressed as Ico, but she was incredibly camera shy and took long hours of stalking to get a clear picture.  Unfortunately, it was captured with my friends camera so I will post it in a post 9/11 cosplay topic later.


(these guys stole the show.  they didn't even DO ANYTHING except pose all day)

HOUR 7

After eating, discussing obscure animes with this fat guy sitting in a corner with his 1tb (yes, ONE FUCKING TERRABYTE) harddrive, and sitting through a few boring panels, my friend and I decided to hit the vendors.  My head instantly spun as I began reliving memories of post-happy hour in Singapore.


(this is me on a train in Singapore after 10:00pm... throw in vendors and you have the sakura-con "bazaar")

Half the shit was in Japanese and a huge group of people were getting autographs from some of the CLAMP artists and a few j-pop bands I never heard of called SCANDAL or SLASH or something stupid like that.  I think I browsed the H section for too long because an old man with his 10 year old child (dressed as Aelita from Code Lyoko) was giving me looks of HATE as I was browsing the lolikon section.  I moved to tentacle porn and his expression softened as he gave an approved nod.

The Foglios (husband and wife team famous for Girl Genius) had a booth set up.  I didn't feel like buying shit but they signed a postcard for me and we chatted about Washington's shitty weather.  Phil Foglio is HUGE... like 6'5" 300 pounds.  I wouldn't fuck with this guy.


(phil foglio: this man soley brought the suspender look back in fashion)

The Penny Arcade guys also had a booth set up.  I would have bought a T-Shirt or a book to get a signature but... I dunno, those guys scare me.  I even felt like walking up and initiating conversation about how much Tim Buckley is a gigantic faggot but... I don't know, it's strange, I've never been intimidated by a bald guy and a walking skeleton before.  Here's a public domain picture to fill up space.


(pig-face and bald, two scary dudes)

Towards the end of the day I attended a Dark Horse panel and completely forgot that Dark Horse publishes manga.  I felt like a black guy in a KKK meeting as the head of manga translation balding guy talked about upcoming manga and releases including a multi-color domokun plush.  He spoke highly of Oh My Goddess, an anime/manga I have never read or seen before, and several new titles including something called Rosary Vampire, Mail, Gantz, and some story about bhuddists fighting the undead.  Actually, 90% of Dark Horse's new titles are Japanese people fighting the undead.  Yeah.



(this guy single handedly oversaw 12 years of OH MY GODDESS and Beserk translations)

At the end of the panel, they opened for questions.  I brought up Hellboy and got several vitriolic looks.  I quietly slumped back into my chair.

There was a workshop event about building a mech but I felt pretty inebriated from the cloying pocky breathed cosplayers and some strange Japanese incense.  I can definitely say I will be attending this next year but I will require much more training and preperation.  I only have 2gb of anime on my computer; surely I will require 2tb by next year before I consider myself worthy of attending this event.


(i was dissapointed no one was offering free hugs.  i got more free hugs by teenage kids in singapore.  ah, singapore... i'd move their if rent was 8,000 dollars a month)

Next month, Marcus goes to Emerald City comic-con where he's actually familiar with writers, titles, and only hot women dress up in costume.

FAQ

Q: How many Naruto cosplayers were there?
A: There's not enough memory on every sandisk in the wold.

foglio is a talentless fuck with no idea what anatomy is and drew horrible porn back in the day, anime cons are gay, marcus we said you'd get banned if you didn't post a pic in costume.

I was dressed as the rarest and most elusive of all characters in modern anime.



The black guy.

sweet i needed that sasuke pic.

I am actually going to a comic convention this weekend so uh yeah COINCIDENCE I guess.

I warned you.

Trust me, Emerald City Comic-Con will be gr8. Comic conventions are always great. Personally I recommend you check out the NY Comic-Con comin' up if you can make it.