no its okay. if theres ever a gw meet and IM NOT DEAD HEH sure but i dont even like close friends to see me in the hospital or when i dont feel well.

HOORAY MAJOR SURGERY IM GONNA THROW UP NOW

steel please let asura come visit you and take pictures

yo i can troll but how many times do i have to say i am a nice person in real life. do you think we would meet each other, i'd scowl and say "semper fucking games"?

it would probably be massively awkward if anything.

also steve keeps trying to make me feel better by saying THOSE AREN'T BAD ODDS FOR SURGERY AN DI'VE HAD LIKE THREE but it doesn't shake this absolute certainty I have that I'm FUCKIN DEAD.

Try and steal a bedpan from the hospital, just to see if you can.

Which leaves a 99.5% chance of survival.

I like those odds. Better than the odds of me having sex tonight.

rofl

the complications of, say, pneumonia or bleeding, are usually pretty fatal dogg.

i had pneumonia once. it was awful

well yeah, I already had it in the hospital, but post surgery its especially dangerous, and chemo has still fucked my immune system (which is why we're waiting till month's end to do the surgery).

thats cool but if I'm reading right useless to me. my chemo killed most of the active tumor; what's left is a teratoma which could reform the cancer so surgery is still my primary option.

Doctors are idiots why do they have tyo cut you open when they could just miniaturize a school bus or a submarine or something to send through your ear to kill the teratoma with tiny machine guns

why can't you just eat some rawesome brownies???

have you heard of this?

http://www.scientificblogging.com/news_releases/senecavirus_structure_revealed_oh_and_it_still_kills_cancer_cells_10_000_times_better_than_traditional_chemotherap?

i havent searched for it anywhere else and its not like you can get a Senecavirus treatment anytime soon but still, might be interesting.

I see what you are doing here

Also, gl with everything steel.

You're pretty fuckin' brave dude. I know that you pretty much have no choice but to just suck it up and go through with it, but you're enduring something that most people don't even think about until well into their twilight years and I gotta say you've got some massive cajones and I hope this shit goes well for you.

dont worry ill be dead! also i should edit this topic title to PAGE 39 but w/e most people who would check will check the next page if they see it's not there.

but yeah mortality is a concept you cannot actually wrap your mind around until something like this happens. like FAMILY DEATH makes you feel unsafe but this is such a fucking awful time. like, I am so certain I will die in this surgery. and not in a confirming "aahhhh i had a good life" but in a "NO FUCK I DONT WANT TO DIE". it's awful.

im not gonna post more because its depressing shit to listen to.